⚠️Disclaimer/ Trigger Warning⚠️
This chapter contains graphic depictions of self harm and suicide.

Genesis

Dinner at this palace had become a rather lonely occasion. Truthfully all meals of the day did. Jess left a couple of years ago with Nate and I didn't have any more friends in the palace.

Regret was something that hit me like a truck a few years ago. I found evidence that Felix and Xyla were involved in Syn's death and it felt like I lost him all over again.

I tried to go to the police but Felix locked me away and I've been in this secluded part of the palace ever since. I didn't have a phone, I was not allowed to speak to anyone, and I couldn't leave the room without Felix or Xyla's permission.

My thoughts from time to time would go to Queen. I remember...as if it was yesterday, she was on her knees before me and hoping that I would do something. I was so overcome with grief and denial, that I clung to the notion that my other son was innocent. Which he was far from.

What hurt the most about being locked up in here, is missing out on the outside. I had to find out from one of the servants that Matilda died, over a year ago. It was painful since she was like a mother to me and I wasn't given permission to go to her funeral.

I looked out at the night sky through the barred window and a tear slipped down my face. I quickly wiped it and laid my head onto the edge of the frame. Listening to the busy streets and laughs from the children were the only thing keeping me sane.

I felt tiny footsteps on my hand that was outside the bars and I looked up. A familiar purple fairy was parched on it and my heart broke as thoughts of Lucifer entered them.

I assumed he broke our bond since I never felt him anymore. Either that or he died, which hurt the most to think about. I'd rather just believe that he was alive and happy, but somehow managed to break it.

The fairy walked up my arm until she was by my ear and smiled at me. "Hello, it's been a long time."

"It truly has," I said with a smile. I was beginning to get emotional from having someone to talk to but I pushed it down and relaxed. "What are you doing here?"

"I hadn't seen you in a long time, so I began searching for you and found you here," she said.

"Yes, I'm...here, I guess," I said again with a shrug, not knowing what to say.

"You seem sad," she said.

"I am," I admitted weakly.

"I've left you alone for some time, Genesis. But we could always make a deal," she said.

"What type of deal?"

"I could free you from here, in exchange for your soul," she offered.

"Why would you want my soul?" I asked.

"Hell can use some pure souls, a lot of the ones we have are tainted. It's rare to find an Underworlder such as yourself," she replied.

I thought about it and freedom seemed nice, but it was a dream. I could never truly be free so long as Felix held such hatred for me. He was the only family I had remaining and I couldn't live with him wanting to hunt me down if I ran away.

"I don't think I want that," I said softly. There was only one true freedom for someone as alone as I was. "I want to die."

Suicide was a thought that had passed my mind almost every single day, but I couldn't do it. There wasn't much that could kill a vampire and there was nothing in here that would help.

"I can help you," she suggested. I wasn't surprised that she would say something like that. Fairies loved collecting souls but I thought the practice had been outlawed by Queen. When I thought about it more, her being here didn't make sense.

"Who sent you here?" I asked as I stepped away from the window. She followed through the bars and flew close to me. "Queen doesn't send fairies anymore."

"Yes she does, but it's a secret," the fairy whispered with a laugh.

I didn't know if I truly believed her, but I ignored my intuition. "How is she?" I asked.

"She's alive." That assurance wasn't comforting but I'd have to take it since it didn't seem like the fairy was willing to give anything up. "How about this Genesis? I'll help you die, AND guarantee you a place in Xavia, in exchange for your soul."

The mention of my granddaughter clawed at my heart and I swallowed the painful lump in my throat. The justice for her being missing was also on my hands. The hatred I got from Queen was completely justified.

"I'll do it," I said sadly. I was always such a happy person, and this was the last position I ever believed I would be in. But I put myself here.

The fairy smiled and nodded. She waved her hands and fairy dust spilled onto the floor. I looked down at the sparkly dust on the marble floor and it suddenly transformed into a golden knife.

"If you cut your wrists with this knife, you'll die," she said.

I bent down to pick it up and it glowed as my name carved itself into its handle. "Thank you," I whispered.

"You're welcome, Genesis. I suppose this is goodbye?" The fairy asked.

"Yes, it is."

She flew to me and planted a kiss on my cheek as a goodbye. Her importance in my life was profound to me. Without her, I would've never met Lucifer or had Syn. It was ironic that the person who aided in giving me something to live for all those years ago was helping me die.

She flew out of the window she entered through and I took a deep breath as I looked down at the knife. I waited, for any type of second thoughts to come into my mind. When none did, I walked to the restroom and turned on the bath.

I didn't have paper or pen so a note wasn't something I could write, I'd just hope that everyone I've ever loved knew that I did.

I didn't bother to remove my clothes and stepped into the cold bath with the knife in my hand. The cool bath touching my back was ignored as the pain in my heart grew. I laid my head down and looked up at the plain ceiling with teary eyes.

I couldn't watch what I was about to do so I took a deep breath and held the knife against my wrist. My eyes closed as I glided them sharp knife across one of them. Weakly, I did the same to the other arm and let my hands fall into the bath.

I looked down at the now red bath and my breathing became faint. The room around me became disoriented and I closed my eyes.

I'm sorry.

I relaxed into the bath when I heard the bathroom room burst open. "Genesis!" A deep voice screamed. I couldn't find the strength to turn my head to look at them, but my body was pulled out of the bath and laid onto the cool floor.

My eyes were closed but I felt the person hold me against them and sob as they held me. Their tears fell onto my face and they hurriedly peppered my face with kisses. "Why would you do this to me?"

The voice was familiar but I was too dazed to put a name to it. I relaxed into their comforting hold until I felt myself slip away...

Lucifer

I cried as I held Gen's cold body against mine. I didn't think I'd hurt as much after what she did, but I couldn't breathe right now. A few minutes ago I saw cut marks on my wrists and I rushed to her. I thought I would make it but she was almost gone when I pulled her out.

I held her tightly against me and cursed at myself for holding on to my hate for so long. I tried to push down and bury any type of love I had for her and it worked temporarily, but she was the love of my life.

What a cruel joke of existence. That we're brought here to love and give our souls to another person, just to have it crushed. I knew the person behind my particular pain though, he always held something against me. I just never thought he'd do something like this to me.

"Father!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. It gutted me to think about doing what I had to do next, but I had no other choice. I needed her back, and he was the only being powerful enough to do it.

"Please, dad! I'm begging you..." I sobbed. I would've thought that he'd answer my prayers since I never prayed, but I was answered in silence.

Seeing as begging wasn't working, I'd resort to other measures. "I'll kill everyone," I said. "Angels, far, Nephilim, humans...any possession of yours that you find dear, will crumble in my hands," I whispered raggedly.

He still didn't answer and I shook my head in disappointment. I don't know why I thought he'd help me. My eyes landed on the golden knife beside the bath, and I picked it up. I watched as Gens's name disappeared from the handle, and mine appeared.

"I'll kill myself," I whispered. "If you don't bring her back, I'll kill myself, father."

My immediate thoughts went to my son and James but I knew they'd be okay since they had each other. I didn't want to die, but I didn't want to live in a world without Gen more.

I held Gen against my chest and held the knife over my wrist. I winced as the blade pierced my skin, but I was stopped when the knife was grabbed from my hand. "What are you doing, Samael?"

I looked up at my father and cried as I looked back at Gen. "Please, help me."

My father clasped his hands and calmly shook his head. "This is not a part of my plan."

"Fuck your plan!" I screamed. "It's always about your damn plan, well look at how almost all your plans went to shit!" He closed his eyes and sighed and I shook my head as I looked up at him. "Why do you hate me?"

"I do not hate yo-,"

"You do. You have to," I retorted with a strained laugh. "Why is it that your humans and angels can make one mistake and you preach about eternal love and forgiveness...but when it was me, your son...you threw me away."

"I did not throw you away."

"You did," I screamed so loud that the bathroom light flickered and the mirror cracked. "I made one mistake and you abandoned me!"

He sighed and I continued. "It wasn't enough that you did that though, no— you just said, let's kill him over and over and over again," I said. "And that's what you've done. With Lilith, Adam, Syn, Xavia, and now her..."

"I was making you stronger, I-"

"No, you were making me evil!" I argued. "I wasn't always like this and you know it. But your fucking seers needed a balance. Good and Evil. And you chose me. Everything that I've done, every death, every mistake, everything...it was because of you! Every single time happiness was in reach for me, you snapped your fingers and took it."

He looked down at me with a blank face and I laughed. "So don't say shit about not hating me!"

"Lucifer, I don't hate you," he said. "I've just been the hardest on you because I love you." I scoffed and he crouched down beside me. "You've always been my favorite and it's true that there needed to be a balance, why do you think I chose you?"

"Why?" I asked.

"You're the only one of my creations that had the potential of being as powerful as me," he said.

"I don't care, about power," I replied in disgust. "I just need her back."

My father looked down at Gen then back at me. After a few moments, he nodded. "What would you do to have her back?"

"You're the one making deals now?" I asked.

"What would you do?"

"Anything."

He nodded and laid a hand on Gen's head. Her body glowed with a bright white light and I smiled as I felt her heartbeat again. I kissed the top of her head and let out a sigh of relief.

My eyes moved to my father as he stood up and I gave him a nod of gratitude. "No need to thank me, I'll come back one day for my request and when I do, you must say yes."

I nodded and he disappeared from my view. I didn't know the favor he'd ask but I had a good feeling that I would hate it. I felt Gen move in my arms and I looked down at her. She blinked a few times when she looked at me and I gave her a weak smile. "Hey, baby."

"Lucifer."

꧁꧂

Author's Note
Aghhh my heart is in so much pain yo😭

Ughh this chapter just hurt my soul so badly y'all. I don't have anything to say but I wonder what God will ask Lucifer to do.
Lmk your thoughts on the chapter✨