Queen

Three Days Later

"And that's all he said?" I asked.

"That's everything," Syn said. "I asked him if I could think about it and he's giving me a week." Syn rubbed his temple and I could smell the liquor on him. It only made sense that he had a headache after drinking as much as he was.

I looked around at the empty nightclub Syn was working on and let out a breath. I knew he had a lot to tell me about what happened between him and God, but I didn't know exactly why he wanted to be here to do it. We could have talked anywhere.

Since he didn't mention it, I let the thought sink away and focused on the subject at hand. "Are you going to do it?" I asked. "I mean I understand why you feel li—"

"I'm not doing it." His voice was completely serious and he stared down at the dark marble floor. I didn't want him to do it, but after hearing what happened with his parents, I'd understand if he at least thought about it. I wouldn't blame him. He turned to me when I didn't talk, and my heart sank as I noticed the sad and tired look on his features. "Do you want me to do it?"

"I mean no, but I want you to be okay," I admitted. "If that's what it took, then I'd understand." I knew that Syn changed a lot after we got together, but I still understood that this was unnatural to him. He spent the majority of his life being an outsider to the experiences of an average person, and now he was being punched left and right with situations that tested his emotional capacity.

"Regardless of your feelings for me right now, I wouldn't be okay if I was incapable of loving you, Queen."

"And what do you think my feelings are, Syn?" I pressed. "You mentioned God using me as a way to get you to accept his offer."

"He said some things about you no longer loving me," he said lowly as he looked back at the ground. "I was drunk, and I fucked things up with you so I kind of let it get to me at first."

"At first?"

"Yes," he said with a sigh. "Then I remembered the things that you said at the restaurant, which I can't get out of my head by the way...but I heard you. Everything you said didn't just leave my mind. I just wanted to fully understand what you said before I brought up a conversation about it."

I nodded slowly and bit the inside of my cheek. I was shocked that he brought it up since he hadn't mentioned it since last night, but I was glad to hear that he didn't just dismiss it.

"It may be too late and it may not mean anything, but I have a lot that I need to say," he said weakly.

"You don't have to," I said. "You seem tired, it can wait."

"It can't." He glanced to the side at me and I swallowed a lump in my throat and nodded. "You told me that I couldn't see anything when I look at you and in a way, it's true. I don't see anything that I can name, because I see everything."

"Syn..."

"Let me get this off my mind, okay? I'll shut up afterward. I'm not saying this so you'll take me back. You can do whatever you want with what I tell you."

I nodded and made myself comfortable beside him on the stage and he clasped his hands together. He wasn't facing me like he usually did when he was about to pour his heart out, which was a bit worrying, but I relaxed and looked out into the space he was looking at.

"I hated you before I loved you," he said. I raised my brows in surprise at his statement, but a blank gaze from him made me decide to let him continue instead of asking questions. "As fucked up as it sounds, I wanted to destroy you. You were just this big ball of light that I for some reason couldn't stay away from, and I wanted to ruin you.

I used to believe that if you were as evil as I was, you'd never leave me. I know it's crazy, but I didn't know any better back then. All I knew was power, and to keep you, I thought I needed to have power over you. You're going to hate this, but that's how your nickname came to be, in a way. You were strong, stubborn, opinionated...all of these things that nobody has ever been around me before, and in an effort to internally put down whatever power you did in fact have...I called you 'Princess' instead of 'Queen'?"

"What?" I questioned softly as a pant of hurt passed through me.

"It was a short-lived thing," he said. "But that's how it started. After a while, I called you it because of a childhood memory I had, and it just felt right. I'm sorry about that, I was an asshole."

I stayed quiet, still feeling from the origin of the name and he continued. "As I said, I wanted to seriously fuck you up. Not hurt you, but mess up your chances to get back to Heaven. I'm sure you remember me lying to you about having to kill Mia."

"I remember."

"I believed that the only way to get you to stay with me was to take away all your other options. Of course, I grew out of that as I fell in love with you...and you slowly began to occupy every part of my life. I never thought I could be so crazy about anything that wasn't Hell," he said in a soft voice as he reminisced about our past.

"When I died, I know you were forced into a role that you weren't planning to be in. I'm sure you never wanted to be the Queen of Hell and I'm sorry if you felt that you had no other option than to be that. I know you had dreams, Queen. You had a whole life before we met, but you gave it all up. For that I will forever be thankful to you, but now...I'm giving you back every single option I've ever taken from you. Unintentionally or intentionally."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm going to let you go, Princess."

"What are you talking about?" I laughed softly to hide the painful ache in my throat full of the words I wanted to yell at him.

"My conversation with God, as boring as it was, made me realize that I've been selfish. With Xavier, you, James, my family...you've all lived in a world without me for years and I came in and didn't even bother to ask what you did all these years. I placed myself in a place that I no longer fit in after all of these years, and it was wrong of me."

My eyes watered at his words and I shook my head slowly. "Syn, I-...what...?"

"I'm no longer Xavier's best friend, Queen. I'm not James's father anymore. And I'm not your husband," he said. "Instead of coming back and kissing you, I should've asked if you what you do for fun now? Or who were the new people in your life that you cared about?"

"You didn't remember me, Syn."

"I mean after I got my memories back," he said. "I was just so ready to get back to how things were and I didn't truly acknowledge the fact that you're not the same person any longer. If I had just asked questions about your life these past few years, I would have known that the man on your phone was a friend."

I couldn't deny that he was right about that, but I wasn't sure I liked the way the conversation was headed. "What are you trying to say?"

"I want you to live your life, Queen," he said as he turned to me. "The first thing I should've done when I got back, was ask if you still wanted to be the Queen of Hell or if you wanted to take a break. I didn't ask then, but I'm asking now. Whatever you say, that's what we'll do."

Taking care of the Underworld had definitely taken up a majority of the past few years of my life. I wanted to travel the realms and earth before I ever met Syn, but I truly never got the chance. I wouldn't take back any decision I made, but I still craved the opportunity to do what I wanted.

Only thing was, it wasn't that simple. I had responsibilities, plus the competition wasn't going to win itself.

"I can't just step down or take a break," I said. "We have the competition and I'm getting into contracts about getting—"

"The competition is here every year and no one would challenge the Underworld. You can step down and if you're ever ready or want to come back, you can."

"I don't know, Syn," I whispered.

"You deserve to be happy, Queen. Even if it's not with me," he said sadly. "I hope one day we can find our way back to one another, but if not, I want you to know that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"What happened to never letting me go?"

"Beyond more than love happened," he said as he looked into my eyes. "I'm putting you before myself, as you've put me before you these past few years. I'll always be here if you want me, Queen. I just want you to put you first for once."

"And Saint? We can't just make these—"

"We can have shared custody," he said.

"You've thought this through, huh?"

"Post-drunk clarity." I laughed softly as I wiped my tears and Syn pulled something out of his pocket. I looked at him and when he held out his hand, there was a small box.

"You're proposing right now?"

"No," he whispered as he held it out for me. "Open it."

I gently took it from his hand and opened the black velvet box to see a ruby necklace. It was similar to the one I previously had, but instead of a heart-shaped pendant, there was an infinity symbol. "You changed it?"

"I did," he nodded. "Along with the spells on it."

"Oh?" I frowned. "What spells?"

"You will still be protected by it, but I will not be able to locate you using it," he said.

"That's the only difference?"

"No," he said. "There's a binding block as well. When you wear it, I won't be able to tell how you're feeling or what you may or may not be doing. If you take it off, I can but you're completely in control of that."

My heart splintered into millions of pieces as he lifted the necklace from the box and gestured for me to turn around. As the cool metal hit my skin, a tear slipped down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away and turned back to him to see him looking at me longingly.

"Would this sudden change have to do anything with your conversation with God?"

"A small part of it," he said. "We were made to destroy one another, and I refuse to let myself hurt you again. God has plans, and I don't want him to use us to fulfill them. So this will also be a chance for me to figure out what he's doing."

"I understand," I nodded. "Please be careful?"

"Always."

"I hope you do know that I still love you, Syn," I said lowly. "Don't let what God said about that fool you, because I more than love you like crazy no matter what. I always will."

"I more than love you too. Always, Princess."

"Then kiss me," I said. "Once and we'll never do it again?"

"You know that's never how it works with us," he smiled as he leaned into me.

I moved forward to move my lips against his and my heart fluttered. His hands found their way to my hips and I straddled his thighs. We kissed as if we'd never kiss again, and the bittersweet feeling made my heart break and piece back together with each continuous beat. His strong hands wrapped under my thighs as he stood up from the stage and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

Our lips molded together and I could taste the mix of mint and alcohol against his tongue. We kissed wildly as he walked towards a corridor in the back, and when my back hit the door to a room...

...I knew this was going to be more than one kiss.

꧁꧂

Author's Note

Fuckkkk bro😭.
Lmk your thoughts ✨