Syn

The words coming out of my mouth felt foreign and wrong, but I pushed the feeling down and held my guard up. I majorly fucked up with Queen and I didn't feel like I knew her well enough to fix this on my own. Xavier's advice was good, but it didn't FEEL good to say.

"Then strike it," I said.

I looked at Queen as she looked around and struggled to find something to say back. After a few moments, she sat back into the seat and shook her head as she stared down at the table.

"Seriously, Syn?"

"What's wr—"

"I need to use the restroom," she said quickly as she stood up. Before I could say anything to her, she stormed out of the room and the door slammed behind her.

What the fuck did I just do?

I ran my hand through my hair and took out my phone to call Xavier. Maybe I was the one who said something wrong. I hated having to rely on him for what to do, but he's been with her these past few years.

It was painful to say, but he knew her better than I did.

The phone rang a couple of times and after a few seconds, his voice boomed through the line. "Well? Are you guys back together?"

"No," I groaned. "It's like she hates me more now."

"Shit! And you brought up taking the sexual part out of the contract?" He questioned.

"I did."

"Oh fuck," he cursed.

"Give me the phone," I held Cas say on the line. Within a few seconds, he spoke into the phone, and my brows raised in surprise. "Syn."

"Yes?"

"Xavier and I know what would fix this in regards to Cleo. Queen isn't the same. You know her, Syn. The girl fucking married you. So follow your gut," he ordered.

"How the hell do I do that?" I snapped.

"Well, if you don't want to lose her...figure it out," he said. The line hung up immediately after his words and I set my phone on to the table. I buried my face in my hands to figure out a solution to the mess I put us in and I sighed.

I heard Queen's footsteps nearing the room, and I lifted my head back up. I didn't need her to see how confused I looked. I needed to remain collected.

She opened the door and gently closed it behind her before sitting back down across me. Her eyes avoided mine as she adjusted her dress and there was no trace of happiness on her beautiful features. It was such a contrast from the happy personality I saw in the interview yesterday, but I immediately knew it was because of me.

"Can we talk?" I asked.

"About which part?" She said as she looked at the papers in front of her.

"Not about the contract," I said. "About what happened."

Queen

I was surprised that he even mentioned talking about what happened. I expected him to continue talking about the contract and not even mention it. A part of me wanted to talk about it though, not because I wanted to get back together, but because I needed closure.

"Okay," I nodded.

He looked at me directly in the eyes and my heart skipped a beat as he took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry."

I nodded nervously, not knowing what to say and he continued. "I was just so angry, Princess. The thought of you being with another man just—...it destroyed me," he said so sincerely that I could hear the raw pain in his voice.

"None of that is an excuse for what I did, I know that. You're the last person I'd ever dream of hurting and I'm sure you never expected it...I-...After everything you've been through, I can't imagine what you must think of me."

I diverted my eyes away from his as his words became heavier on my heart. He was right about how I'd be seeing him. I for the first time was exposed to the anger he displayed to everyone else, but the crazy part was, I was still madly in love with him.

"I didn't deserve you even before I hurt you," he said. "And I sure as hell don't now. I honestly should just let you leave, right?"

"That's what a good guy would do," I muttered with a shrug.

"You didn't marry a good guy, Princess," he said seriously. "But if that's what you want, I'll do it. I just want you to forgive me."

"Forgive you?" I asked. "Just like that?"

He shrugged his shoulders and looked up with an intake of breath before looking back at me. "Do you expect me to beg?"

Ouch.

I felt a painful ache in my chest at his words and my eyes watered. Was I not worth him swallowing his pride for a few seconds? I knew who he was, but I thought I meant more to him.

"Of course not," I said with a sniffle as I swallowed a lump in my throat. "You're Syn SinClaire, you've already told me you don't beg for anything."

"Not a damn thing," he said as he stood up. I must've pushed a nerve to make him want to leave this early. The knife he already stabbed me with a few seconds ago, twisted into me and a tear fell down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away and looked down at my hands as Syn took a few steps around the table. "But you're not just anything."

I turned to look up at him in confusion and he took a hesitant breath before slowly lowering himself to the floor. When he was on the floor in front of me, I looked down in shock and he gently took my hands into his before kissing them each gently.

"I'm not asking you to be with me right now, I have no right to," he spoke. His eyes watered...or mine did, I couldn't exactly tell from my blurred vision. "But I will wait for you forever if I need to. I'm beyond sorry that I didn't talk to you, that I forgot what type of person you are, and that I came here today not starting with this."

I blinked and the tears rolled down my face, but he immediately wiped them. "More importantly, I'm sorry that I ever laid a hand on you. I'm supposed to be the one to protect you, but I gave you a reason to be afraid."

With my eyes no longer watery, I noticed a tear fall down his cheek, but he cleared his throat and continued. "I'm sorry that I let you fall," he said as his voice broke. "I promised you that I'd always catch you no matter what, but I let my emotions control me and I broke that promise."

I took a shaky breath and bit my lip to stop myself from breaking down at how emotional he looked. It was always a shock to see him to vulnerable considering he was so stoic. But it always hit a nerve deep down inside of me that hurt more than anything I'd ever experienced.

"Just tell me what you want, and I'll do it," he said desperately. "If you never want to see me again, I'll find a way to help you win the competition from a distance. If you want me to sign your contract with no changes, I will. If you wanted me to beg like this every day until the day I die, I would do that as well."

I opened my mouth to respond to his words when a sudden flash filled the room. I looked at the window to see a crowd of paparazzi taking photos of us from inside the restaurant and I rolled my eyes.

"Fuck," Syn groaned as he stood up.

"What?" I asked. "Do things change since people are watching?"

"Queen," he started. "If you wanted me to beg for your forgiveness in front of everyone, I'd do it on live television. It has nothing to do with that."

He walked to the blinds and roughly shut them, making the room darker. I could see his silhouette run a hand through his hair and I sighed as I picked up the candle on the table to light the others in the room.

"What else do we—"

Before I could let out another word, Syn stood behind me and held a hand over my mouth. His hard body pressed against me from behind and my senses were engulfed by his cologne. I could feel his breathing on my neck and I remained completely still with the candle in my hand. "Shh, they can hear us," he whispered lowly.

I paid little attention to his words and my sights focused on the small flame in front of me. The candle wax dripped onto my fingers and I shut my eyes as the stinging warmth became a tightening hard wax on my finger. "Do you like that, princess?" He whispered into my ear.

I opened my eyes in confusion as he slowly removed his hand. I turned to face him and watched as he held a single finger over his lips to make sure I stayed quiet. "I know you pretty well," he said lowly. "But I didn't think candle wax was something you'd ever be interested in."

"What?" I whispered in a puzzled tone.

"Open your palm face upwards," he said as he removed the candle gently from my hand. I let him take it and I hesitantly did as he said. I waited in anticipation and watched as he lifted the candle above my hand and tilted it.

The melted wax pooled into the center of my hand and I dug my nails into my free hand to keep from making any noise. My eyes closed once again at the burning sensation and as always, it stopped.

When I opened my eyes, Syn was looking at me intently and it was only then that I noticed the list in his eyes. To break the sudden tension that had begun to inundate the room, I cleared my throat.

"I just like taking the wax off...after...yeah," I said nervously as I began taking off the hardened wax.

"That's all it is?" He questioned.

"Mhmm." I continued fidgeting with my hand, but my eyes snapped back to his when he grabbed my wrist to stop my actions. My breath hitched lightly as his eyes fell onto my lips and my eyes averted from his gaze.

Of course, he was dominating the situation as he always did. No matter if he was wrong, I was always under his spell...but was he under mine?

Could I command a reaction full of the same desire I held for him? Or would I end up cowering to whatever demands he wanted? Surely I could be stronger if I wanted to, right?

A wave of anger began to fill me as I realized the amount of power he held over me. I wanted to be indestructible and emotionless as he was...as I was before he came back into my life. But with one look from him...I was weak.

Maybe it was a challenge to myself...or a reason to cause him the same pain as he did me...but my next actions were as unexpected to myself, as they were to him.

I removed my wrist from my hold and within a second, the power between us switched scales. I could see in his eyes that he thought I was supposed to be the one pinned against. That I was supposed to be vulnerable to him as his hand wrapped around MY throat.

The confusion dancing in his eyes made things all the more enjoyable as he looked down at me. I gently squeezed my hand around his throat as I stepped forward and he smiled down at me as if I wasn't phasing him at all.

But we both knew the truth.

I could feel his nervousness against my hand as he swallowed a breath and I loosened my hold around him. My hand glided down his neck and I wrapped my hand around his tie before roughly tugging his face down to mine.

He looked into my eyes as our lips strayed inches apart and I could feel his warm breath just taunting me to close the distance. "Is this one of those things where you want to hurt me back, Princess?" He whispered, still aware of the audience outside.

"And if it is?" I questioned. The atmosphere around us began to shift as my mood did and Syn looked around as a red light encompassed the room. I watched as he licked his lips and I could tell we were both thinking about the last time I had done this.

The difference was, this time I wasn't here to please him.

His eyes moved back to mine and he looked at me seriously. "Hurt me all you need to."

꧁꧂

Author's Note

Here we go Chile😓
It's been years lmao idek what to put here.
Lmk your thoughts✨