Well, Hello!☺️❤️

I promised I'd be here so here I am!!!

Y'all, I'm happy to announce that my book and WGSC and NGCS (The Collision series) by dheenmah are in the same fictional world!!! I have a teaser in this chapter, and a HUGER surprise in the next one I'm posting!!!✨

P.S(Remember me and dheemah's timelines are currently different..so don't get confused. In Those Little Things, we're in Second term, but dheemah's babies from WGSC and NGCS are still in their Christmas Break) I still have a lot I may want to work with writers like I_am_Jazzy Rihanna_Adedeji adesewa_x and Iyanuoluwa-Temi I'll dm you guys soon!!❤️

Alright, let's get into it....

                                            ~GIWA~

                             "Giwa?"

Someone called my name, I wasn't exactly sure who, and I really didn't care.

The only person I paid attention to at that moment was Ivandor.

He stood dangerously close to me, looking at me with an expression that was hard for me to comprehend. A painfully impassive expression, to say - one that barely had any enthusiasm in it.

And it only got me thinking..
Was he not happy to see me?

Soon after my name was called by an unknown person, all eyes set on me thereon.

A lot of things made me uncomfortable right now;

One, I was standing on the path that led to the Boys Dorm.

Two, my classmates; I could only make out Yure, Nova, Aaron, Casper, as well as some Class C girls that their names weren't coming to me as at then.

The confusion on their faces on seeing me was hard to ignore. They gathered there on the same path I stood, sitting by the two opposite sides of the pavement, staring at me in disbelief.

Ofcourse, they knew it was unlike me to get into baseless social gatherings, even if Ivandor was involved.

And then again..those headlights...

The headlights that stood tall by the sides of the white three-storey hostel building weren't even trying to help my situation. They shone and sparked ever so brightly over my presence like a spotlight, making it easier for me to be the centre of the damn attraction.

The worst yet..

Ivandor had been standing there, looking at me for what felt like an eternity and not saying a single word.

"I want to talk to you."

That was me, to Ivandor.

Surprisingly, my voice didn't even waver.

Surprisingly.

I mean, the tension in the environment was enough to make me falter. But somehow, somehow, my voice came out as proper and confident as ever.

Ivandor broke his gaze from me, almost dismissively. Almost. He glanced back and forth, from me, to the crowd of our classmates behind us, with a slightly wary look on his face that made me think he probably wasn't comfortable with all their staring too.

Setting those flames he had as eyes dead on me afterward, all he said was. "Let's get out of here."

So, we walked together.

Ivandor pulled the hood of his grey versache hoodie like a cloak over the bush of perfect hair he had on his head, as we had a painfully silent walk down the extended path that led to the main road itself.

The silence was threghtning, and very, very unsettling. And although, Ivandor and I were walking closely, side by side, he felt so distant.

It hurt.

We hadn't talked in what felt like ages.

It had been quite a while he even stopped texting me too...probably because I never replied..

I mean, there were times I fought the urge to reply his messages. I had to force myself to not reply them. To not give him the chance to come back into my life and weaken me further.

I really tried my best to cut him off. I really tried. God knows I did.

So, eventually, I guess he just...gave up?

Did he give up on me? Could he?

But that was what I wanted initially, right? That he would leave me alone to find my old self again.

So when he started doing that, why did it feel like a nightmare?

I hated myself for feeling this way. For feeling this weak and helpless whenever it came to Ivandor.

And as I watched him walk by my side, straight-faced and unwavering, not even glancing my direction for a second.. I nearly cried. Did I still not matter at all?

I looked away from him to prevent the threghtning tears from dropping, realising also, that I had been staring. I turned my attention to my environment, and walked on, desperately seeking an immediate distraction.

The path we were walking on was the tail of a two way asphalt road. From there, I could get a fairly good scenery of the University and it's beauty.

The lights were beautiful. Tall headlights stood at the sides of the roads, illuminating the entire school. People were everywhere. Some alone, others in groups. Some couples were around us too. I hated seeing them right now. They only reminded me of my crumbling love life.

I squeezed my phone in my hands tight as I forced myself not to cry.

Ivandor and I got to the end of the tail of the T-section and we cornered to the right to concentrate on that part of the road.

It was like we were thinking the same thing, because we moved the exact same direction, at the exact same time, and in the process, we sort of bumped into each other's sides.

"Sorry," Ivandor muttered, and I just nodded, before adjusting my position by him, so that couldn't repeat itself again.

God, this was so akward..

Where on earth were we even heading, to begin with?

"Is this place okay?" He asked me, as soon as we got to a quieter, lonely path, that led to a locked two-way door that was dimly lighted with these purple lights that made the whole place look slightly dark.

For the first time, he stopped and turned to face me, his hazel eyes boring into mine directly and a softer expression on his face.

"Let's sit by the stairs," I suggested, and he consented. Together, we walked towards the broad unprotected staircases that was there, in front of the locked doors.

I sat by Ivandor on the fourth stair, and while I hugged my knees to my chest with my phone by my side, he rather sat in a position that made it easy for him to rest the back of his elbows on his thighs.

Pulling down his hood, his head turned to me and I tried to avoid looking at him too much. Just then, his voice came softly.

"How have you been, Giwa?"

That simple question seemed to do a lot of things to me. Made me want to cry my eyes out and hug him, and at the same time, made me want to be mad at him all over again and just scream and pull my hair out.

Ofcourse, I'd been doing terrible. And it was all because of him.

I hugged my knees closer to my chest, almost squeezing my growing breasts in, and forced my focus on the tiles of the stairs beneath me, instead of him, before my answer came. "Fine."

"You don't sound fine." Was his immediate reply that made me hug my knees even more, giving him no reply.

"Giwa, can you look at me, please?" He said to me. Although he asked politely, his voice sounded a bit rough and angered.

I don't know why, but I looked up to meet his eyes immediately he asked me to.

His eyes were soft, a contrast to what his voice sounded like. His facial expression was, too. Infact, his whole demeanor was beaten. He looked very tired and stressed. Like he was in pain.

That softened me a bit. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to.. kiss him.

I gulped. I did that to get myself back together, as I hopelessly took in the beauty of presence.

He looked so good, even in pain..

I had noticed too after I had literally followed him secretly from the Cafe this evening, and to the gathering of our classmates.

And now here we are.. looking at each other hopelessly, as we tried to have our closure.

I felt bad for him. I really did.

But when I turned away from him once again and looked back to the ground, what came out of my mouth was;

"Did you expect me to not be fine? Just because you decided to shut me out? You should know those little things don't get to me, Ivandor."

I didn't hear his reply. Didn't even hear a sound from him. Not a single one.

It became clear to me at that point that he was trying to sink in the big fat miserable lie that just came out of my mouth.

"I never shut you out, Giwa." He finally replied. Softly. Like he was trying to reason with me.

"Yeah, sure. Let's also pretend like these past few days, you didn't act like I was non-existent. Yeah, let's do that." My sarcasm came out with a voice harsher than I intended it to.

To be honest, I wasn't even mad at Ivandor. I was mad at myself for feeling so bad when Ivandor decided to leave me alone.

I mean, that was what was aiming for, so why did it feel so horrible when it happened.

Stupid, soft Giwa.

I truly was just mad at myself really.

"Is that what you really think? You think I shut you out these past few days?" Ivandor asked me. I sensed a very slight edge to his voice .

I didn't reply him.
That alone was an answer.

"I tried to get to you so many times but you didn't let me. I tried, Giwa. You can't say I didn't. You were the one who kept shutting me out and you did it consistently. What did you expect me to do?" He sounded frustrated, almost like he was breaking down even.

Once again, I said nothing. I had nothing to say if I was being honest.

"No, please talk to me, Giwa. I want to hear it in your perspective. Tell me what you wanted me to do, because to be honest, I ran out of options!"

I wasn't replying him and he seemed to be losing it even more.

"Did you want me to keep texting you as you weren't replying?" It wasn't a rhetorical question. He sounded like he genuinely wanted to know.

I instantly felt so stupid.

You don't get it, Ivandor.
I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself.

I heard him mutter some curse words as he pressed his palm to his face in frustration that was probably caused by my blatant silence.

That, still didn't prompt a reply from me.

"Giwa, please tell me what you want."

He said this in a tired, burdened tone.

I held on to my knees ever so tightly, trying my absolute best to avoid his serious, piercing gaze that wouldn't stop trying to bore into the side of my head.

"Oh, for the love of God! Giwa, fucking look at me!" He snapped adruptly, getting more frustrated by my stubbornness.

"You're really starting to think you have some form of dominance over me, and that's bullshit!" I surprisingly snapped back, turning to face him in my own rage.

"If I don't want to look at you, then you take it that way. I'm Giwa Falade. Nobody tells me what to do!" I cleared him up.

He stayed quiet, looking slightly offended by my outburst and his eyes remained on me for a few seconds. When he looked away, a sigh escaped his lips. A sigh that emanated from a heavy, deep breath. Like he needed it to stay calm. Like he was expelling out all his frustration from it.

The way I looked away from him, you would think they were giving awards for the most furious turns.

There was silence for a while.
A long, hard while.
A sad silence.

That's when that tiny voice in my head came up and asked silently,"Giwa, what are you doing?"

I nearly said, "I don't even know" out loud. Slowly, but eventually, I started to calm myself down.

Giwa, just breathe. You're blowing things out of proportion. Breathe.

I took in little breaths, and exhaled.

One after the other.

Inhale, Exhale.

I did that, until the atmosphere became less tensed up.

Ivandor may have felt the air becoming easier to breath too, because at that moment, he spoke up .

"I'm sorry you feel that way." He said softly.

Nodding, I turned to look at his sober face.

"I only stopped texting because I felt you needed your space, that's all." He told me.

He reached out to take my right hand in his, placing it fairly close to his thigh and clamping it in between his hands, squeezing gently.

My eyes moved to my hands in his, and after staring in observation at nothing else other than my our hands together, and the bright grey colour of his joggers that it fairly rested on , my eyes finally went up to meet his directly.

I felt chills all over me. It started from my spine and travelled up slowly, making sure to reach the other parts of my body, totally and competely taking over me.

He was doing it again..

"I'd never want to cut you out, Giwa." He said to me. His voice was warm. Assuring.

I nodded slowly, my eyes visibly even softening as I stared into his hopelessly.

He's doing it again.

"Why would you even think I would want to cut you out of my life? Why? " He further asked me.

Asking the question even made him wince a little, like it was an incredulous thing for him to even think about thinking about it.

My heart softened too.

But if that was true, then..

"Why didn't you give me any attention the entire holiday?" I had to ask him. I almost sounded whiney.

He paused his lips for a second. Tilting his head a bit to the side, he looked at me with slightly confused, narrowed eyes.

"You really didn't read any of my texts, did you?" He finally said.

Guilty as charged.

As a matter of fact, I deleted all.

Like he read my thoughts, he nodded in understanding.

"Giwa, a lot's been going on..," he started, squeezing my hand softly again.

"..with my family." He added.

My forehead creased warily. There was something with the way he said it that had me on the edge.

My mind dated back to the Interhouse Sports when I heard about his sister's athsma breakdown.

I remember I was so ready to talk to him that day, but I never found him. And since that day, even up until this last day of the Dynamis Trip, it's been me struggling with my damn pride to say something to him, because apparently he stopped trying to talk to me.

However, I silently hoped what he was about to open up to me wasn't that bad. I sincerely hoped.

"Talk to me, Ivandor." I said to him.

He let out a contending sigh, and nodded again. Slowly, this time. Almost like he was trying to calculate in his head how he would start.

I was patient with him. I let him take his time, and when he looked like he was ready to talk, I listened.

He told me about his dad first.

Told me how his dad had messed up in the past with all his money. Told me how his dad got the whole family into debts and plunged them into financial crisis.

Then, he told me how his dad got arrested that night of the Christmas party last year. How his dad was charged with drug allegations...

"... he's still in jail," he said, his voice in a faint whisper.

He wasn't even looking at me at that point.

His eyes roved to our hands that were clasped together, and he steadied himself, looking there for a while and not saying anything.

I wasn't an expert at picking out the slightest emotions, but it was easy to tell that Ivandor was struggling to keep his composure. He was struggling to not look weak in front of me. To not cry.

And surprisingly, it worked for him.

And when he looked back up, he managed to force a quick, sad on on his face and just laughed a small, bitter laugh.

I didn't know how to feel. I was utterly shattered for him. My tongue was tied and I felt even more horrible because I didn't know what to say to him.

It looked like there was more he wasn't telling me.

So, he went on to talk about his sister and my heart broke even more.

He told me about her constant athsma attacks that have been on a regular lately. How they basically almost lived in the hospital the entire Christmas holiday because of her. How she constantly cries everyday, asking on and on about her dad.

When he finished talking about his dad and his sister, I was quiet. I knew there was more, but I was quiet. This was enough to hear already.

I felt so horrible for him.

So, this was what this was about all along..

What really hit me the most was that he was going through this much and he bottled it up the whole time...and still took the stress upon him to hang on to me when I was only adding to his problems.

He never neglected me. Never. He wouldn't.

To be honest, maybe he should have. Maybe I deserved it.

I feel like a horrible person.

I am a horrible person.

"You're not a horrible person, Giwa."

He shocked me completely by reading my thoughts.

"What the - how did you_,"

"Its written all over you." He cut in immediately, and ofcourse, he noticed how shocked I was still.

"The guilt and self-blame, it's written all over you." He elaborated.

"Well, I don't know how else to feel," I honestly said.

I really didn't know. I felt all shades of horrible at this moment. For him having to go through that, and for the fact that I did nothing to help the entire time.

"Don't do that, No." He shook his head. "It's not your fault. You didn't know. You couldn't have known."

"Why did you hang on?" The question slipped out from me.

When his brows raised at my question, I realised I didn't quite hit the nail on the head. For a fact, I didn't want repeat the question even, but I found myself asking still,

"Why did you hang on to me? With everything that was happening and with the way I was treating you, why were you so patient with me? Why didn't you toss me to the side?"

A small chuckle escaped his lips, and I wondered what on earth I said was funny.

He put his lips together for the count of a second, then said. "Don't you think I knew what I was getting into when I decided to love you, Giwa?"

...to....love me?

"You love me." My words were nearly a whisper, and it came out as though I was dictating it to a child. I needed to say it out for it to sink in properly.

"More than you know." He replied, and there was a certainty to his words that made me shiver.

"But..why?" I asked him.

No, seriously.. Why?

Why does Ivandor love me?

Infact, why would any one walking on the surface of the planet want to love a person like Giwa Falade!?

"I never thought anyone was capable of loving me. I mean, all the guys in our set think I'm terrifying and scary, maybe even a witch, but you were so brave and..,"

"Well, I saw what they didn't see in you," he cut in, and when he squeezed my hands softly again, I remembered they were still in his'.

"I saw there was more to you than just the ruthless facade you make known. I knew you were more than just that. I knew you had a good heart, and I wanted to find out why..," he paused in mid-sentence, and looked at me intently. Hazel eyes fully concentrated on mine.

"I wanted to find out why you hid that beautiful part of you from the rest of the world." He said.

When you show the world you're a good person who really cares, you get trampled upon.
Thats why, Ivandor..

"You keep killing that part of you inside..that part that wants to be there for everybody. I always knew there was a shield over it. You've kept the real you in bondage for so long and you need to be freed from it..," he elaborated.

..Freed?

"I always knew you needed your freedom." He said. "And that was what attracted me to you in the first place. I wanted to help you do that."

But you knew nothing about me as at that time.

Why would you want to help a total stranger?

For some reason, my mind dated back to that day at the Cafe when Ivandor ran across the road, getting in the way of a truck, just to save a little girl he didn't even know from being crushed before all our eyes..

He didn't have a reason to be there for people. He just did it.

"..and remember when I tried getting close to you in the beginning and you started to push me away..," he continued.

I remember that clearly. I nodded.

"I knew it was your form of defence." He told me.

"You stubbornly didn't want to let me in, but a part of you wanted to give me a chance. So you got conflicted. Confused. You didn't know what to do. You didn't want me to come in..you didn't want me to break you..but still..," he looked deeper into my eyes, like he could see something in it, then he completed his sentence,

"..still, you didn't want me to go away."

I backed up slightly in shock at the accuracy of his every word, and I hoped he didn't notice.

"I confirmed it that day in class when I had told you I would stop chasing after you..and you..," his voice trailed there as he laughed a little.

I hit him playfully, having no other choice than to laugh with him too.

Ofcourse, I remembered!

The day I made a fool out of myself and ended up being the one to ask him out on that date he had been bothering me for!

But all jokes apart....he was right.

Also, that was exactly the problem this whole entire time I was pushing Ivandor away even after his multiple trials to redeem himself.

I told myself I wanted him far away from myself because I hated how weak he made me. But then, when I thought he actually left..I couldn't stand the pain.

God, I'm such a confused person! A wicked, confused person.

"You're not a bad person, Giwa." He repeated, debunking my thoughts, giving me a warming smile while at it.

"It's just that I wish you showed that to people more often." He said.

Apparently, sometimes, my emotions get too much in the way and I find myself doing things I don't want to do. Good things. Like checking up on people who probably don't care about me, Shade Onam, for example. And then..

"The letter..," it slipped out my mouth, earning a confused look from Ivandor.

"What letter?" He inquired.

I sighed softly as my mind dated back to the past.

"You remember Asa?" I asked him.

"Asa...," he repeated the name as he tried to recall. "Asa..Dooshima?"

"Yes. Her," I nodded. Ofcourse, he should have remembered her. Clearly, even. She and I competed against each other during the Dynamis Trip last year. Apparently, we were doing so again tommorow.

"I sent a letter to her last year on her birthday..," I admitted, and Ivandor's brows lifted in slight astonishment.

"Yeah..I actually did. I wrote a letter and sent it through to her through the post office. That was sometime around December...," I said.

I was seeing the countdown to her birthday on Kosi Dike's IG stories almost everyday. It was hard to not know when Asa's birthday was due.

"So, you sent her a letter?" Ivandor butt in, laughing softly like it was such a big gesture.

"All it said was Happy Birthday, no big deal," I replied.

"That's adorable," he commented still.

My lips formed a thin line as I tried to shrug casually.

"I didn't think you two were friends though." Ivandor said, tilting his head to the side to look at me.

I wouldn't blame him for thinking that. I constantly made Asa feel like shit last year, and I wouldn't stop rubbing my win all up in her face. Everyone knew.

"We aren't exactly friends. I don't really kniw what we are," I shrugged.

"Then why did you feel the need to send her a birthday letter then?" He further asked.

Asa..that girl..

To be honest, the girl makes it so difficult for me to be mean to her. Something about her just makes me feel like she doesn't deserve it. The way I was treating her.

So..maybe I felt bad for her?

Maybe that was why I felt the need to write her a birthday letter?

I don't know really. I don't really understand why I sent her that letter.

"You're a good person, Giwa." Ivandor said like that was the reason.

I don't know how many times he had said that to me already.

"...but, don't you think it's time to let other people see that?" He pressed on.

I mentally frowned. I don't know if it visibly showed, but I shook my head at the suggestion.

"I'm scared." I admitted.

He looked understanding.

"I don't want people to look down on me...I..I don't want to look weak..," I was telling him.

"You're anything, but weak." He assured me.

"Look, Ivandor. I'm better off this way. It's better if everyone fears me." I deadpanned.

That way, no one takes advantage...

"You don't need people to fear you, Giwa. That never lasts."

"Yes it does." I say in a tone that seemed like I was going to bite his head off any moment.

In reality, I was only scared. Scared that he may actually be right. Somehow, he always is.

"No..it..doesn't." He opposed softly, like he was counting his words for me.

"Well, you're wrong." I snapped at him. My tone screamed accusation. I was getting tensed up and I forced myself to believe he was wrong.

Fear does last. Right?

"Okay, and if it doesn't, then, what would you do?" His question ticked something off in me.

"That won't ever happen," I answered, surprising myself with the confidence in my tone.

It can't happen. Never.

"It can't." I needed to voice it out to believe it.

He just sighed softly as he looked at me in what looked like pity.

That spited me slightly. I didn't need pity.

"I'm Giwa Falade." I said out loud.

Giwa Falade does not need pity!

Ivandor immediately pulled me into an unexpected hug and as I stayed there, shuddering softly in his embrace as I tried to take in large breaths.

I needed that hug. I really did. I knew he could tell.

And as much as I hated to admit it..I needed him too.

I needed Ivandor.

I squeezed myself in his arms, hugging ever so tightly and he placed kisses on my forehead over and over again to calm me down.

I didn't want him leaving me. Ever.

Somehow, those little voices that prompt my insecurity kept whispering back Shade's words to me from that day;

....Oneday, you're going to wake up and realise that you have lost everyone and everything that matters to you the most....

That wouldn't ever happen, right?

Even if the world leaves me, he wouldn't leave too, right? Would he?

Are you going to leave me, Ivandor?

I didn't even know I had asked that out loud until he softly pulled out of our hug and looked at me incredulously.

"Leave you?" The words came out of his mouth like it was an abomination.

I felt so embarrassed for even slipping that out.

Ivandor and I were sitting on the fourth step, so he suddenly jumped down from it, landing safetly on the grass beneath, standing now and looking at me, giving me no other option than to turn and face him, eye to eye.

"You know you just reminded me of something," he said, suddenly getting me agitated.

"You said we weren't ever official, remember? So, how can I leave you if we aren't official?"

I blinked in shock at his words.

What the fuck? Why would he say that to me?

What does he even mean by that?!

"Be my girlfriend, Giwa Falade." Were his next words.

I gave an elated sigh of relief, as I looked this guy over. Was he aware he gave me a mini heart attack right now?

Was that why he jumped down from the stairs? God, Ivandor!

"Will you?" He asked, with a sweet smile, as he waited for my answer. Standing there infront of me and peering at me with an innocent look as I sat on the stairs, facing him.

Ofcourse, I wouldn't have declined that.

"Yes!" I said, shocking myself with how high pitched I sounded.

"Well, then, it's official," his voice was in hushed whispers, and the next thing, his lips captured mine that second, taking me unawares anf instantly sending me to my sweetest realm. Ecstacy.

Breaking the contact with his lips shortly after they found mine, he whispered to me. "I'll never leave you, Giwa." Then he claimed my lips once again.

Kissing him had a way of setting me on the edge. It filled my system with a burning, electrifying sensation.

The feeling felt even much more intensified at the moment. Maybe because it had been a while his lips touched mine.

He kissed me with a strong passion. Hot and possessive, yet passionate. Cupping my face in his hands and kissing me like his whole life depended on it. Setting me more and more on the edge every single second. Tonguing, soft bites on my lips that drove me crazy..and dayum, when he teased...

God, How was he so skilled at this?

His hands travelled down to my waist and moved there and I lost it. His touch was divine. Heavenly.

I held on to the back of his hair as I gave him all of me. Kissing him back with the same energy. Putting my all into it, like it was the last time I had the chance to kiss him like this.

Our breathing quickly became harsh. We both were hungry for this. Craving this. So badly. So desperately. Our lips never broke apart, and each second, the sensation felt like it was just burning up and adding more fuel to our fire.

When his hold around my waist got stronger, I knew he was feeling it too. Feeling the rush of madness our kissing was pumping into our system.

His lips travelled down to my neck and he started kissing me there. I lost my breath for a second. The pleasure was something else for me. He kissed me like a god. Nibbling. Biting softly, and making it an aim to leave hickeys on my neck.

I moaned softly..

However, my pleasure was irritably disrupted by the flash of light from a security office that shone on us, making us both break apart and wince at the sudden sharp, bright light that hit us.

"The fuck?" Ivandor cussed under his breath, as he shielded his eyes with his hands.

"Let's leave this place, please," I suggested as I shielded myself as well.

We quickly made our way out of there, not wasting any time.

Whohhh!! It's hot in here, don't you think?😂❤️

My loves, we're finished here!!!!

Okay, thoughts on Giwa?

Thoughts on Ivandor?

Me: Those two are just so😪❤️

Expect another update today iyehhhh. Don't forget to let me in on your thoughts ❤️❤️❤️