Your life had taken a different course since you stayed in Falconia and honestly, it wasn't that bad. Your movements were lighter without that heavy armor and so were your days, without the need to fight and help with work in the tavern.

«So, how do you feel about no longer wielding a sword?» Noelia raised an eyebrow slyly, as she was busy taking some supplies to the warehouse, along with you.

Obviously, it had a strange effect on you after holding it in your hands for so long, making you the person you were today; but at the same time, you were enjoying a sensation you had never had before.

«I just regret losing it.» You said, closing your fingers into a fist. You still remembered the shape of its hilt and its weight, which lightened as the years passed «Before it was mine, the sword belonged to my father.»

«Your father was an army commander, right? I never stop hearing that story!» As time passed, Noelia had become curious about your past and when you told her about your old life as a fearless warrior, she seemed completely fascinated.

A smile broke out on your face, you felt at ease with this girl and it was as if you had known her for a long time...maybe it was her long red hair, but thanks to it, you had revived the memory of the woman who must have been your mother.

«He was the strongest man I have ever seen.» Yet, he was betrayed by those he trusted most, but you didn't say this out loud, it was better to remember him when he had been glorious. Noelia listened to you, until her attention fell on the entrance and there, she smiled again.

«Well, I think there's another one to consider, don't you think?»

You turned around without even thinking about it, finding the imposing figure of Guts. You went back to doing your own thing, as soon as he turned his eye in your direction and you were doing that to keep him at a distance.

«Anyone is good, if they have a cannon instead of an arm.» You grimaced and crouched down on the ground to start opening the sacks, untying hard ropes with extreme ease «Don't need to be so surprised–»

«And you don't need to be so grumpy.» Suddenly, the redhead crossed her arms and rested the back against the workbench in total annoyance «What if his words were serious? Not all men are scoundrels and I'm sure he isn't...or are you afraid of something else?»

You pretended to not listen, as it was clear she knew after eavesdropped on you and Guts in your bedroom; Noelia sighed, she just couldn't understand what was going through your head, definitely your actions always contradicted your own thoughts...

But before she went back to work, she caught you staring at someone with a bitter expression. They were three girls of a certain beauty and care, but their mischievous smile was what deceived them. You had never seen them before, but since you were there, more young girls were walking on the street of the inn under the pretext of being noticed...

Noticed by Guts, of course.

«Oh my, have you seen those muscles?! No coincidence that he calls himself the Black Swordsman~» The girl in the brown dress shouted at her friends, without stopping to eat with her eyes the man they had followed all afternoon.

«Sure, but he must be gentle in bed, I wonder if he has ever slept with a woman...» The second girl in the blue dress insinuated with words devoid of innocence, despite their very young age. You were already on your way in the meantime, their presence was starting to make you sick.

«Who cares, one of us will be the next~ I wouldn't mind if he became my knight later hahaha!»

All three burst out laughing, attracting the attention of other people. However, their gazes frozed when they met yours.

«If you came here just to disturb customers, then you may as well leave.» You warned in a calm, but not friendly tone. Definitely, your appearance was far from a good lady, but they weren't better with their vulgar behavior.

«Of course not! By the way, is there anything that isn't cheesy, sir?» When she said it, the girl in the brown dress put her hand over her mouth in feigned amazement «Pardon, but from here it's difficult to understand if you are a man or a woman...I guess it doesn't make much difference to you, hahaha!»

You stayed silent in front of their ridiculous shouts, even though they were pretty, these bitches lacked the sweetness and genuineness that Lily had, deserving worse than what happened to her.

«Wait, don't tell me she's jealous of the Black Swordsman?!» Another one said, pointing her finger at you and the same girl from earlier took a step towards you, with her head held high.

«Who, my dear?» With such impudence, she allowed herself to touch your sleeveless arm, where the muscle and some scars were well defined «Do you really think this thing can compete with me? Please, I'm not so miserable!»

Either this slut had balls, or she wanted to die so badly...whatever was, Noelia intervened just in time to stop you from breaking the wrist of her hand.

«Sorry girls, but we are very busy with preparations for tonight's party. We'll see you later when it gets full of smelly drunks who are just waiting for you "ladies", okay??»

After that, the three girls looked disgusted and without replying, they left with their skirts raised. The tension vanished, but you felt almost ashamed for letting your friend solve the matter for you and that's why you left without saying a word.

«You did well not to react Y/n, those geese were just provoking you.» Noelia tried to relax you, but it seemed useless since you hadn't looked her in the eyes. But the worst thing was, that you did it because of him, a fucking man and felt your pride fall down just then.

«I don't care about them, they just did me a favor by not putting me on their equal.» The redhead didn't seem to understand, until she saw that expression on your face...

It was madly emotionless, as if you were a caged beast, in all honesty she was afraid that you would do something terrible to those girls, something you would have regretted later; but fortunately, you were tougher than all this and Noelia breathed a sigh of relief.

«Speaking of that, you didn't tell me there was a party tonight...what's that?» You just changed the subject, letting her know that you had heard.

«It's for my dad's birthday. Even if he says no, I throw a party every year to thank him for everything he does for me, since my mother left us. She was a wonderful woman.»

Now that you thought about it, she hadn't told you much about her family, but you had guessed she no longer had a mother.

«I never knew mine...» You added softly as you poured the flour into a large container «But I'm sure she looked like you, in a way. It would have been nice to meet her in another life.»

Noelia struggled to hold back a tear as you told that very easily, but hiding so much pain inside you and immediately wrapped her arms around you, risking making you make a mistake with the dosage.

«What the hell, Noelia...»

«Shut up and let someone give you affection for once, you don't always have to be strong!»

Your eyes widened in surprise, but you did as she commanded, letting her touch heal your troubled spirit. If they had met, surely her and Lily would have gotten along, but you just let that thought die in your mind.

«Poor Y/n, who knows how much loneliness she went through!»

Hidden somewhere, Puck observed the scene with amazed eyes and his heart filled with intense energy, as he read your true feelings simply looking at you.

Only one person could fill the void you had, after all...

• • •

When sunset came, you returned to your room to change after a busy day. Not that it mattered to you, but you had decided to freshen up and put on some clean clothes, which meant a new outfit for the occasion (the shirt was long enough and cut at the hips, since you hated tight skirts and also a pair of light trousers, with the same color as the shirt).

You hadn't met Guts at all, but you were sure to see him drinking in the company of other soldiers, better for both of you if you were separated...making a scene during Noelia's father's birthday was the last thing on your mind when you went down the stairs.

«Y/n—» Her voice called out from beside the counter, however her expression changed in a second when she saw your masculine appearance «Where's the dress I left in the closet for you? These are work clothes!»

«It's fine, I don't really want to get into that stuff again.» You joked referring to those long, uncomfortable dresses. In that moment, Noelia's father approached you with a smile on his lips, it was clear he was having a lot of fun.

«My daughter told me you helped her a lot today, I don't know how to thank you...» The older man took your hand in his, but squeezing it respectfully «Whatever you need, ask us my dear.»

You replied smiling, those people had helped you a lot by hosting you and it was the least you could do for Noelia.

«Oh and, if you're looking for your knight, he's right there.» The redhead girl pointed to Guts' location and as a result, he instinctively looked towards your standing figure.

As you had thought, he was sitting in front of a table, but with his arms crossed in a serious manner. He didn't seem to enjoy these popular celebrations, or maybe he just preferred to be a spectator...

Still, he was looking at nothing but you.

«Boring.» You thought, looking away and sitting at another table with Noelia. Soon, other people joined the two of you to drink and talk. No way, your androgynous beauty attracted the attention of both men and women, but the latter were soon disappointed to discover that you were a girl and that you weren't interested in them.

«So, are you really a soldier?» Suddenly, a young man asked you with some interest and you were sure Noelia had blurted out something because of the beer.

«Sorry to disappoint you, but I left that life a long time ago.» You explained, sipping your drink on the rim of the glass «And you? What do you do for living?»

Strangely, the conversation with that stranger was turning out to be pleasant, to the point that you didn't pay attention to who was around you two.

«I'm a spice merchant. It's not a fortune, but I earn more by traveling the world.» Carlos, this was his name, fascinated you with his tales of exotic places and of a life full of adventure, but without bloodshed.

You also had dreamed of that type of life sometimes...alone or if happened, with a partner.

«...why did I think of him just now? Dammit.»

You had a strange feeling and Carlos looked at you curiously, as if he wanted to get to know you better. But when he tried to get closer to you, a massive shadow appeared behind you and there, your expression darkened.

«Speaking of the Devil...»

«What you want?» You stated in a serious tone, as if you were annoyed by Guts' presence. Of course, seeing you socialize with that guy made him very tense, to the point of forcing him to intervene.

But he just pushed your pint of beer away, still full.

«You don't need to be ridiculous with any idiot that's sitting in here.» The Black Swordsman was looked by everyone with fear and admiration, but the only one he cared about was looking at him with annoyance.

«I didn't ask you anything, Guts, so leave me alone.» You didn't understand why he was acting like this, as if he was jealous. You tried to escape from his watchful eye, but nothing seemed to affect him even if you tried.

Until the unthinkable happened. In front of everyone, Guts poured all the beer from your pint over Carlos' head, soaking him completely.

«W-what the hell do you think you're doing–!»

«I suggest you play your cards elsewhere.» The swordsman turned to the guy you were talking to and gathered all his strength to not kill him «Maybe it's not clear for you. This. Is. My. Woman.»

You were speechless. Not only he was ruining that peaceful evening, but also saying that you belonged to him after what he had just done. Noelia put her hands in front of the mouth in shock, she couldn't believe he had made such a mean gesture for the person he liked!

«I'm not a fucking object.» You said calmly and standing, ignoring the fact that some beer had also soiled your clothes «Or is this your revenge for the last time? Either way, you're ridiculous.»

A dead silence fell in the tavern. The sound of your heartbeats was the only thing you heard inside you, as well as the sounds of his armor...Guts advanced towards you and for a moment, his expression changed.

«I see, you forgot what I told you.» Disappointment leaked from his words and you looked up in disbelief «But it's better this way. After all this time, it's time for us to part ways.»

When he finished, Guts walked away from the room, leaving the tavern and everyone in silence, including you. You hadn't expected such a reaction from him and it had definitely upset you a bit...

«Chase him. You can't let him go like this.» Noelia said from behind and with a palm on your shoulder to push you «What are you waiting for?!»

You were stunned. However, your thoughts could only focus on him...he had always been there for you and now that he was letting you go, you felt that emptiness again.

«Guts...»

And you couldn't go back to those damned days.

«Fuck it!»