𝙍𝙖𝙮𝙮𝙖𝙣𝙖

I threw up for a week after that. 

Everyday I looked at my husband, I've wanted to kill him. 

But I cant 

for my son. 

Hamza has stopped hitting other kids, but I fear that one day my husband will tell him to restart all over again.

"Rayyana please try to eat something." Maria said putting a plate of her famous hot soup in front me, the flames engulfing me into warmth. 

 I stared at it for a beat too long, before looking away. I couldn't stomach anything after what I've been through.

Which was bad for my health. Apparently, I had lost a lot of weight which directors were eating up. 

"Mom," Hamza said running up to me, he hugged me tightly. I bit my lip before slowly hugging him, not trusting myself to not burst into tears. "Mom, I got a gold star today!" Hamza said excitedly. 

 I smiled at him "That's awesome!" Maria smiled at Hamza as well and then took him by his hand to get him some treats. I hadn't hear a word from Atif after he had left me, but I did know that he got promoted and earned 20,000 extra for every paycheck. 

I had picked up a knife multiple times, and yet I couldn't bear myself to do it. I looked out my window, trying to remember what the warm autumn breeze felt like against my skin when my door opened. 

I turned to see Sophia, a new recruit and someone I'm pretty sure my husband fucks. 

"Ma'am, your husband has arrived," She said with a sort of bow. I stared at her with disdain and silently walked past her. I swear I heard her mutter bitch but I ignored it because that was what I was supposed to do now. 

Ignore, and move on. 

I climbed down all 101 flight of stairs to see my dear husband smoking his fancy cigars. I scrunched my nose at the awful smell and watched as his steely brown eyes stared me down, probably searching for a sign of me possibly cheating on him. 

That was impossible, his henchmen were everywhere always watching me and Hamza. 

Finally, he smiled and kissed my cheek like he wasn't Satan himself. He whispered "I missed you," before gently nibbling on my ear. 

He was happy, of course since I landed him a bigger promotion then before. 

I turned away and stared at the big box in the middle of his living room "What is in there?" I asked genuinely curious. He had a step in his walk as he picked up the box and handed it to me "For you." 

I stared at the box wondering if this was it. Maybe he had poisoned whatever was inside, maybe there was a bomb inside. Maybe...no he wouldn't do that to Hamza at least.

I slowly undid the ribbon and opened the lid only to gasp. Inside was a emerald green necklace, with matching earrings. It had hints of silver and muave and shone brighter then his teeth. 

"Do you like it?" He asked with a sort of gentleness that I had never heard before. I bit my lip, earging myself to remember that this was all a lie. 

That Atif and I weren't meant to be. 

Atif was in front of me suddenly, he gently took the necklace from my hand and wiped my hair away from my neck, with such soft hands that it almost felt like he wasn't there, he clasped the necklace on my neck. 

The first thing I felt was the heaviness, not from the necklace but from the situation. From the fake loving eyes, and words, from the soft hands all the way to the fake smile. 

I was about to do something when Hamza came running in, a huge smile on his face as he caught sight of his father "Father!" He said jumping up with excitement. Atif gave a smile back and hugged Hamza tightly. 

I stared at them, father and son. But what really got to me was that I didn't belong in the picture. There was never supposed to be a Hamza, Atif, and I. There was supposed to be Hamza, Ali, and I. 

I looked away with tears in my eyes and slipped away from the room. 

I was walking past the maid quarters when a sound I recognized as Sophia's tuned me back into reality. 

"No way, that's real diamond?" 

"Yup! All the way from Shanghai!" 

Shanghai...where Atif had left for? 

I quietly watched through the crack from the door as Sophia was showing two other maids something. Whatever it was, it made the other maids eyes gleam with jealousy and admiration. 

"You're so lucky!" one of them said

the other suddenly became nervous "What if madam see's you with that though? I heard sir got her the same necklace as yours..." 

Before I could react, Sophia turned around showing me the shiny emerald green, silver, and muave necklace from Shanghai. 

The same necklace that was suddenly 100 times more heavier on my neck. 

"Eh, she doesn't snoop around. And plus, I heard Atif doesn't even like her." 

The maids giggled "Atif? You guys are on first name basis?" 

Sophia blushed "Maybe..." she trailed off mysteriously. 

She opened her mouth to say something else but I was already walking back to my room. 

I opened my door with a slam and threw my necklace into the trash. 

I couldn't believe that Atif had the audacity to get me and his..whore the same gift. Especially since both of us lived in the same place!

I clenched my jaw and took a deep breath. I had forgotten what Atif had done to me, I had forgotten what I was to him, I had forgotten what Atif had done to my son. 

I had forgotten my plan. 

I looked outside my window remembering what my mission was, what I had to do.

I cant forget anymore, I must continue with my plan. 

Just a little while longer.