𝘼𝙮𝙖-𝙈𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙕𝙖𝙖𝙧𝙖

15 years ago when Zaara was 3 

"Zayan I'm not joking!" I hissed at my gardener who was smiling proudly at me "Did I say you were?" He teased me back. I scoffed and stared at our daughter Zaara who just turned 3 today while beside her sat my other daughter Zoya who was 2 and staring aimlessly at Zaara.

"Zayan we can't keep doing this! Dabir is getting suspicious." At the mention of my husband, Zayan scowled "So?" He never was a fan of my husband. I sighed and gasped when Zayan held my hand. 

I tried pulling away but he wouldn't let me. "Zayan not here!" I panicked and looked around for my husband or my brothers, but there was no one here besides us and my daughters. 

"I don't care Aya, you said you loved me remember?" I did remember, in fact I remembered more clearly then Zayan. 

My first love. 

Me and Zayan go way back, when we were just in elementary. Zayan and I fell head over heels for each other but I got  engaged to Dabir without my consent. Me and Zayan had managed to run away but my father found us and quickly married me off. 

Zayan was heartbroken but I kept my ties with him. When my father passed, I was quick to hire Zayan as our gardener. No one ever told Dabir about any of this, but I was certain he was catching something on with us. 

And that was dangerous. 

"Look at our daughter Aya," Zayan said staring at Zaara. Zayan and I had come up with baby names on the train and one name we had both decided on was Zaara. Dabir liked the name which was why he let me keep it. 

"It's obvious she looks like me, she has the same emerald green eyes as me." One thing about Zayan that attracted me were his eyes that shined better then the word "emerald" Zaara had his eyes and Dabir has noticed it but he hasn't said a word. 

"Yes Zayan it is obvious but..." I trailed off because what could I tell him, that Dabir beats me? That Dabir has layed hands on me for other reasons besides romance and sex? 

"But what Aya?" Zayan said gently, although his hold on my hand grew tighter. I shook my head and removed my hand from his "But nothing Zayan, we can't keep doing this. I'm a married women and how long are you going to stay here with me? You deserve someone who will love you and not cheat on you." 

I cleared my throat from the obvious voice crack I had gained. Zayan laughed his deep chuckle meeting my ears. I slowly smiled when I realized that Zaara had the same laugh "My beautiful Aya," He turned my face towards him and wiped away my tear "There is no women in this world I love more then you." 

He always told me sweet nothings and then I left him to go sleep in some other mens bed. 

It made me feel guilty. 

"Mother!" Zoya said tugging on my dress, I smiled down at her "Yes my love?" She stared nervously at Zayan who tried to smile but couldn't so it looked like a deep frown. "Um..I'm hungry..." She whispered to me. 

Zaara walked up to me and put her hands on her hip "Yeah me too, I've been playing for 10 hours!" She's only been playing for half an hour but I nod anyway "Okay, you both head in I'll be right there." 

Zaara turned to Zayan and smiled "Hi Zayan!" Zayan smiled and waved back "Hi Zaara." Zaara turned around to head inside and Zoya hesitated before also nodding "Hi Zayan." Zayan nodded back "Hi Zoya." 

When Zoya left I turned to Zayan with a frown "I know Zoya isn't your daughter but honestly you can at least be nice to her to her face!" Zayan got up "I'm trying Aya but when the daughter of the other men is around you can't blame me!" 

I huffed and got up ready to stomp away from him, but he clamped his hand on my arm "Wait, wasn't there something you had to tell me?" Oh shoot, I almost forgot.

I bit my lip and leaned into him "I..I'm pregnant...and it's yours." Zayan blinked at me and then smiled widely "Really?!" I nodded "That's amazing Aya!" 

I shook my head quickly "No it's not Zayan, Dabir and I haven't had sex in months and suddenly I'm pregnant?" He waved his hand "Dabir knows Aya, he isn't going to do anything." 

And for those sweet 5 seconds, we celebrated our child. 

"Congratulation's Mr. Martin it's a girl!" The nurse happily handed my beautiful daughter into my arms. 

I looked down at her and sighed in relief when her eyes were my eye colour. "I want to see!" Zoya and Zaara said jumping up and down. Dabir nodded "Okay, but be gentle okay?" Zaara and Zoya stared at my daughter and Zoya beamed "Hi my sister!" 

Zaara however frowned "Oh...I wanted a brother." Dabir's face flushed "You will get one soon." He said curtly. 

Too curtly. 

After I got discharged from the hospital, me and my daughter- humna - were in my room when Dabir came in "Is Humna asleep?" I nodded "Yes, just went to sleep." He nodded back at me and that's when I noticed that he was standing pin straight. 

I tensed up before asking him "What?" He stared at me with no expression "Come with me Aya." was all he said before he started walking out of the room. I bit my lip and looked down at my daughter, feeling the water works already coming. 

I guess back then I knew what was going to happen. 

I just didn't expect it to happen so soon. 

Maria was standing outside our door so I quickly informed her to feed Humna a bottle if necessary. I followed Dabir until we made our way to the common room except this time our gardener was standing there. 

I avoided Zayan's gaze as I sat across from him and waited for whatever Dabir had to say. "I know about your little affair that's been going on," He started. 

I bit my lip and tried not to cry heavily "So do we Dabir," Zayan said suddenly "Me and Aya were in love way before you came. And that hasn't changed now!" Dabir took a sharp inhale of breath "I see." He said gently. 

"Well, Aya is mine. Not yours anymore, and I advice you leave my property and my wife alone before I do something drastic." I looked up at Dabir over the word "drastic" 

What could he mean be that? 

I looked at Zayan but he wouldn't stop glaring at Dabir "My answer is no Mr. Martin. I am not leaving this place without Aya." 

I tried warning Zayan but he wouldn't stop staring at Dabir. I wanted to warn him that Dabir could have him dead in a lake somewhere with a snap of his fingers but Zayan was Zayan. 

And he never backed down. 

"Was having 2 kids with my wife not enough for you Zayan?" 

Zayan shook his head "No, it wasn't. I plan for her to have all my kids in the future. If I have to take Zoya with me, then I will." 

I felt tears forming into my eyes. 

For what? I still have no clue. 

Dabir nodded slowly "Very well," He then reached into his pocked and pulled out a gun. I gasped and got up looking back and forth between my husband and my lover. 

Both the father's of my children. 

"Dabir!" I yelled but Zayan stopped me "If you know what is best for my wife, my Aya, then you will get the hell off of my property and away from my wife and kids!" 

Zayan clenched his jaw and opened his mouth to say something but stopped. He looked like he was in a battle with himself.

Please Zayan

And finally, he stopped his shoulders slumping back as he nodded. 

And I knew we had failed. 

I knew that this was goodbye. 

And I didn't like it. 

I couldn't help myself, I slumped back and cried my eyes out. 

Zayan turned to me and without hesitation made his way towards me, He grabbed my hands tight and it broke me to think that he would be shot while holding my hands. 

"Aya, I don't have much time," Zayan moved a strand of hair behind my ear making me cry harder "Aya I love you so damn much. Ever since you made me trip and fall on my face, to the day you told me you were pregnant with my child. Everyday I wake up and my first thought is you, every night when I close my eyes all I see is you. Aya, you and me are meant for each other but unfortunately my love, it seems like in another life." He cleared his throat because of his voice crack and continued "My love If I could, I would whisk you away with me. I would take you, my kids, and Zoya and I would work hard to make us all feel comfortable. And I would make sure none of you guys would ever cry of hunger or boredom. I would do anything for you." 

He connected our foreheads and I willed myself to breath "I don't know when I will see you again my beautiful Aya, but I am hoping that you won't forget me. I am leaving my 2 beautiful daughters with you and I beg of you please take care of them for me. Be their father and mother for me, please Aya." 

I stayed silent and I felt a tear roll down Zayan's cheek "Promise me Aya, please." With one last nod I whispered "I promise." He smiled and kissed my forehead "I know you will keep this promise for me my beautiful Aya. I will visit you all very soon my love, I promise." 

But that promise went to pieces. 

Because my Zayan was taken away not by the hands  of a gun, but by cancer. 

It's funny to think I was worried about Dabir and his gun, when I should have been worried about the world and Zayan. 

You trust the world to help you breath

You trust the world to keep you safe

You trust the world to be beautiful everyday

Hell, you trust the world to be there when you step outside. 

And then slowly, when you trust the world you start trusting a person. 

That person, was my Zayan. 

But because he is no more, I trust my daughters. 

Zaara, Zoya, and Humna. 

They are my world now. 

But my number one will always be you my love

My Zayan

Like you said,

In the next life.