𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐞 1998
___________
𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐚'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕

Two weeks have passed since that dreadful day I'd like to not think about but I can't help it, every time I hear the song "Without you" by Mariah Carey I can't help but play over my break up over and over again in my head like some sad type of montage. This break up has really taken a toll on me, It's so hard to even show up to work and keep a straight face on when all I want to do is cry.

I'm currently sitting on the steps leading up to my front door, smoking a cigarette. It's kind of my stress relief, as I take out my lighter someone snatched it.

"Hey." I Said

I looked up and there she was, my mother. Now I've haven't smoked in front of my mother since that time she caught me smoking with my friends at the park when we were 17, but here I am at 26 caught red handed.

"Sonya Elizabeth Sawyer, spit take cigarette out your mouth right now." Laurie Said

"Nice to see you too Ma." I Said

"Sonya." Laurie Said

"I'm taking it out, taking it out okay." I toss the cigarette on the floor "See gone, you happy now that was my last one." I Said

"God you smoked the whole box, what did I tell you kids about smoking that crap." Laurie Said

"Yeah tell me about it, I've been hearing it since 88." I Said, rolling my eyes.

"Sweetheart look at you, your a mess..you smell and your hair my god when was the last time you showered?" Laurie Asked

"Mom I got home yesterday okay, I was just too exhausted to shower and too sad." I Said

"You see all I heard right there was just an excuse." Laurie Said

"So what made you drive all the way over here?" I Asked

"Well I was speaking with your sister, you know just checking on her and making sure she's settled in her new house. Then the topic came to you, and she mentioned how you've been lately." Laurie Said

"Oh you mean how fine I've been." I Said, bluntly.

"Sonya I'm your mother and I know when my children aren't okay, I know it's been two weeks since you and Shawn broke up. And I know you told me why but honey...there's more to the story right?" Laurie Said

"Yeah it is, mom I haven't been completely honest with you and dad well everyone when it came to Shawn." I Said

"Okay then what is it?" Laurie Asked

"Mom..Shawn has an addition problem." I Said

"What?" Laurie Said

"A couple months ago before we got together he came clean to me about his addiction with drugs, and he promised me that he would quit and so he did. He was clean for three months up until that fucking match at the rumble." I Said

"So I'm assuming that after the rumble, that's when he relapsed." I nodded, she sighed "How bad did it get?" Laurie Asked

"Mom it was bad and I mean really bad, there were times when I felt like his mother instead of his girlfriend. I think the worst night was when he threw up in my lap." I Said

"Ew, is that why your car has a weird smell." Laurie Said

"Yeah no matter how much I scrubbed my car cleaned, it's like the smell won't go away. But I would say the drug usage got worse after mania, when we were on a break." I Said

"Okay, so is that really why you guys broke up?" Laurie Asked

"Yes but I didn't want to mom, okay I wanted to stay with him and help him. Because I love him and you help those you love." I Said

"Yes that's true and admire people for that, but sweetheart there's also something that you need to know. You can try as hard as you want to help those we love, but the only one who can truly help them is themselves. If Shawn wants to get better, he's gonna have to do it on his own terms." Laurie Said

"But why not with me?, all I wanted to do was help." I Said

"And I know you did baby, but maybe he didn't want to bring you down with him..did you ever think about that. He loved you enough to let you go, yes it hurt you but it also hurt him as well to let go of someone who truly loved him." Laurie Said

I mean yeah that's true, he didn't want to but he had to.

"Yeah I guess so." I Said

Ma pulled me closely and I laid my head on her shoulder as she rubbed my back.

"I know it may suck right now, but it'll get better." Laurie Said

"I don't know, do you think that he'll break through of his addiction?" I Asked

"I would love to believe so, I pray he does." Laurie Said

"Hm." I Said

"Come on let's go inside, I brought over some leftovers we can eat." Laurie Said

"What did you cook?" I Asked

"You and your dad's favorite, chicken, mashed potatoes, corn and macaroni." Laurie Said

"Thanks Ma." I Said, she kisses my cheek.

"Anytime baby." Laurie Said

We both stood up and went inside my apartment, I took a shower for the sake of my mom and we both sat and ate her delicious dinner. Mom's dinner always makes everything better.

*******

Tonight's raw was in San Antonio, luckily the ride wasn't so bad since I live an hour away. But the hard part was that, he lives here and lives about 30 minutes away from the freeman coliseum. But I remained focused and drove to work, after the show I left Paul and Joan to hang with Amy, Matt and Jeff for a while.

A few minutes passed and we split from the two brothers and went into the women's locker room, so we get ready to leave for the next town. As Amy is packing she looked over at me, just sitting in my cubby looking down at my bracelet fiddling with it.

"You okay?" Amy Asked

"Yeah I'm all right, just playing with this." I Said, motioning to the bracelet on my wrist.

"Ah the bracelet, so what are you gonna do about that are you gonna keep it?" Amy Asked

"I don't know have you ever kept something your ex's has ever given you?" I Asked

"Well there was this time in high school, my boyfriend at the time bought me this beautiful necklace with my initial and I wore it everyday." Amy Said

"Then what did you do after?" I Asked

"Well after seven months of dating he broke up with me, and three weeks later I found out he had a new girlfriend and I threw my necklace in a lake." Amy Said

"So your saying I should get rid of it." I Said

"Look what I'm saying is, you should do whatever you want with it." Amy Said

"Don't get me wrong, it's Cartier and it's beautiful but it reminds me of him." I Said

"How About this you give it to me as an late birthday gift." Amy Said, we both laughed.

"Hey your birthday was two months ago miss, besides I'll probably put it in the box and leave it alone in a corner and never open it." I Said, taking it off.

"Okay then." She continues putting her stuff away, she sighs "Damn it I almost forgot, I left my cell phone with Matt and Jeff watch my stuff." Amy Said

"Yeah sure." I Said

"Thanks." Amy Said

She quickly leaves the locker room, and I continue packing up my stuff. I hear the door open, and looked over my shoulder to see the one person I rather not see at all.

"Hey Sonya." Sunny Said

This bitch.

"Hi Sunny." I Said

"I'm so happy it's summer, god I can't wait to wear this new dress I bought last week and I got invited to a party this week can't wait." Sunny Said

"Good for you." I Said, lamely.

"Why are you so grouchy?" Sunny Asked

"I'm not grouchy okay, I'm just really really tired okay." I Said

"Yeah you look tired, your eyes are puffy..we're you crying?" Sunny Asked

"Yeah." I Said

"Why?" Sunny Asked

"It's nothing." I Said

"This wouldn't happen to be about Shawn." I stopped what I was doing and looked at her "It is isn't?" Sunny Asked

"What are you talking about?" I Asked

"Well I was speaking with Billy and Brain, they mentioned how sad you've been and they told me it's because Shawn broke up with you." Sunny Said

I scoffed and rolled my eyes at her.

"I just want you to know I'm sorry things didn't work out between the two of you." Sunny Said

"Yeah sure you are." I Said

"What I'm telling the truth." Sunny Said

"This coming from the woman, a few months ago said that Shawn and I wouldn't last..so yeah excuse me for not believing you." I Said

Sunny rolled her eyes and smirked at me.

"I mean was I wrong, come on Sonya it's Shawn..he's nothing but a junkie who's a good fuck if we're being honest." Sunny Said

"You know what Tammy, I'm sick of your shit!" I Said

"What the fuck did I do, I'm just being honest that's who he is." Sunny Said

"No your wrong Shawn is more than that, minus the drugs and drinking he's actually a good person. You wouldn't know that because all you did was use him, if you weren't so busy spreading your legs open you would have actually gotten to know him-." I Said

Before I could finish my sentence Sunny slapped me across the face, and it was a good slap. everything around me kinda went silent and when I looked back at her all I saw was red.

"Don't bring up Shawn and I's history you bitch, you weren't there you don't know anything!" Sunny Said

"You know I've been waiting for a long time for this, I'm glad you slapped me Tammy." I slapped her hard on the cheek, she stumbled back "Because I've been waiting to kick your ass." I Said

Tammy shoved me and I tackled her down to the ground, I punched her a few times in the face until she got on top and slapped me a few times as well.
The fight between us lasted a while up until we heard footsteps, other woman bursted in and tried breaking up the fight. But I had Tammy's head Joan and Amy walked in and separated us, Lisa and Jacqueline pushed Tammy out the lock room while Amy and Joan backed me up.

"That bitch broke my tooth!" Sunny Said

"Your lucky I didn't break your fucking nose." I Said

"Tammy just get the fuck out!" Lisa Said

"She attacked me!" Sunny Said

"Bullshit!" I Said

"Get out!" Amy and Joan said

"Fuck this I'm telling Vince." Sunny Said

She left the room and they let me go, I sat down in the chair taking deep breaths. I felt something wet, looked down at my knuckles which were bleeding.

"Great." I Said

"Sonya I was only gone for four minutes what the fuck happened?!" Amy Said

"She slapped me first!" I Said

"Okay but what led up to the slap?" Joan Asked

"She mentioned Shawn and Me, I'm sick of her shit.
It was only a matter of time someone put their hands on her, I'm done with Tammy if she says some slick shit to me again I'll break her fucking face." I Said

"Clam down okay, we don't need you fighting again." Amy Said

"Amy's right, you could get into serious trouble..too late." Joan Said

"What?" I Said

Amy and Joan pointed and I turned around to see Jim Ross standing outside the door of the locker room, he motions for me to come and I do.

"Hey Jim." I Said

"Sonya, Vince would like to speak with you..right now." Jim Says

"Okay." I Sighed