|Ayleen's POV|

-After a Week-

"Your Highness, are you alright?" The voice of Anastasia pulled me from my thoughts.

My eyes had been fixed on Selim and Osman's cradles, while all the events Orhan had described to me that night still haunted me.

"Yes, I'm fine" I sighed, shaking my head as I resumed running the comb through Aysel's long, flowing hair.. she had become very fond of keeping it this way and had expressed her desire not to cut even a little of it.

I watched as Aysel left her room with Şerife and her other maid.. Meanwhile, I finished nursing Osman, gently placing him back into his cradle before sitting down to run my fingers over the sides of my temples.

It feels as though I am trapped in that night.. I remember that when Orhan finished explaining everything to me in detail, the sun had already risen by the time I turned to look.. Yet, I wonder, would it be contradictory to say that every moment of it was painful yet passed so quickly before I could even comprehend it?

I couldn't believe the words he was saying... It was as though the man I thought I knew had transformed into someone entirely different.. someone burdened by a lifetime of suffering.

It was almost impossible to picture him as the scared child he described.. It filled me with dread.. Every time I look at Ahmed, Selim, and Osman, I feel as if I can't breathe, imagining everything Orhan said happening to them.

All I wanted was to hold him, to take away the pain he had carried for so long.. How could someone endure all that and still stand? How could someone go through all of that and then be burdened with the responsibility of the throne and an empire that was on the verge of crushing him?

"Orhan hasn't returned yet?" I asked Sumbul, who was placing a glass of warm milk with honey before me, along with some dried fruits that he had been preparing for me every day since I gave birth to Selim and Osman, saying they were good for my health, though, in the end, he ends up eating them all when I don't feel like it.

"Not yet, Your Highness" he replied, sitting on one of the sofas and gesturing for Isabel to speak "Go ahead, talk" he said, nodding.

"What do you mean?" Isabel raised an eyebrow, lifting her dress slightly as she sat on one of the pillows, allowing Sibylle to braid her hair.

"Where do you disappear to all day? Haven't you gotten tired of wandering around that crowded market?" Sumbul teased, popping a dried fruit into his mouth.

"I..." She looked around nervously, and the tension was evident on her face, which made me straighten up, waiting for her response with curiosity.. but the moment was interrupted by the sound of Selim crying, which caused her to quickly add "The baby is crying, let me..."

"Stop" I said quickly, standing up from my seat "Do not avoid the question.. I will fetch the baby, and you will tell us where it is you vanish to all day" I went over to Selim's cradle, gently picking him up and pressing a kiss to his cheek before returning to my seat, rocking him slightly, trying to calm him.

"I..." Isabel hesitated, rubbing her fingers together, her eyes wandering around the room "I met someone"

"Wa'allah, I knew it!" Sumbul raised a finger, grinning mischievously before sipping from the glass of milk.

"What?" My eyes widened, and for a moment, I almost shouted, but then I noticed that Selim's eyes were beginning to close, so I lowered my voice, adding "When?"

"About three months ago" she said, barely making eye contact before she caught a pillow I had thrown at her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked again, my excitement clear in my voice despite the soft tone "Sibylle, you knew too!"

"Just a month ago" she replied with a shrug, raising her hand "Don't drag me into this.. I wanted to tell you, but she insisted on not bothering you about it until she was sure about her feelings"

"And have you figured out your feelings?" I stood up and gently placed Selim back into his cradle, then, I placed a pillow next to Isabel and seated myself upon it "tell me everything"

"Well, wait" Isabel began, signaling for Sibylle to stop braiding her hair and sit next to her.. she then gestured for Sumbul to come closer, but it seemed he didn't need an invitation.. he was already heading our way, holding the tray that was supposed to be mine.

"I've been going to the market for the past few months" she continued, her tone softening "and there's this shop where a Christian seamstress works.. She's been living here for many years.. we became good friends, drinking coffee and talking for hours.. Then, one day, a man came in.. tall, blonde, and with features that immediately told me he wasn't from here... after he left, the seamstress told me he was the son of a wealthy family involved in trade here, and his mother owns this shop, along with several others"

"Oh, so he's really rich, now I get it" Sumbul teased, winking at her, which made both Sibylle and Isabel laugh.

"Anyway" Isabel continued, ignoring Sumbul's antics "After that, I kept running into him at the shop nearly every time I went.. Then, after several weeks, he made his first move, and it became clear he wanted to get to know me" she shifted in her seat, pushing her braid back "I thought he was just playing.. Why would a rich man like him, born with a golden spoon in his mouth, want to get to know someone like me?"

"Alright, get to the point.. Is he serious or not?" Sumbul interrupted quickly, clearly uninterested in the details.

"About a week ago, he told me he wanted to marry me" Isabel finally said, which caused both Sumbul and Sibylle to jump up, starting to dance strangely.

"Ah, Isabel, I'm so happy for you" I said, my face lighting up as I pulled her into a long hug "But of course, we need to get to know him better" I added, pulling back and looking at her seriously.

»»-----　♔　-----««

-A Month Later-

"How is Aysel doing with her lessons?" Orhan asked, placing a kiss on Osman's forehead before handing him over to me so I could pass him to Anastasia, who was beside Buşra, holding Selim, who fell asleep as soon as his father carried him for a while.

"She still doesn't take to her lessons with much enthusiasm, but I am doing all I can to help her" I said, signaling for the twins to be taken to my chambers, my gaze shifting to Nuray, who was sitting on Orhan's bed, engrossed in fraying some threads that adorned a small pillow.

"That's just not where her interests lie... I always knew she wouldn't find joy in it" he smiled slightly before moving to his desk and sitting in his chair, prompting me to approach him and glance at the stack of busy work he had.

"Do you feel okay?" I asked worriedly, running my hand over his shoulder, my eyes moving from his papers to the features of his face.

"Much better, thanks to you" he replied, taking my hand from his shoulder and planting a kiss on it.

"It's getting close, right?" I asked again, holding one of the papers and reading its contents, which were filled with the name of that one place... Poland.

For a moment, I felt like I was getting flashbacks to when my father was preparing for his campaign, where he took some land from Poland... and now my husband would be acquiring more land there too.. It made me wonder how men view politics and agree to the same things, even though they have completely different purposes.

"Yes, in four months" he answered, stamping one of the letters with his ring after sealing it "Now I have something important" he stood up from his desk, brushed his fingers over my cheek, and placed a kiss before heading out.

I smiled as I carried Nuray, leaving the chamber and meeting my other maid, Ebru, who had been waiting.. as soon as she saw me, she extended her hands to take Nuray and we proceeded to the Valide Sultan's chambers, where I had been invited for coffee, and to bring Nuray along to spend time with her grandmother.

"Valide" I greeted softly, holding Nuray's hand as she hurried toward her grandmother, who took her in her arms and planted a long kiss on her cheek.

"Our beautiful little sultana" Turhan Sultan said with a smile as she looked at Nuray before her eyes lifted to meet mine "She's growing more beautiful, just like you and her sister Aysel"

"Thank you... she's your granddaughter, so of course, she's gorgeous" I replied, smiling, reaching for the coffee cup placed before me.

"Orhan agreed to my decision, and I sent a letter just this morning to Fatma Sultan" Turhan Sultan said suddenly, breaking a long silence, making me pause for a moment, the sip of coffee stuck in my throat.

Just two days ago, Turhan Sultan told me about her desire to marry Rana to the son of a pasha, someone she said was loyal to the state and would be a good husband to her.. his mother had personally approached Turhan Sultan when she last met Rana.

"Congratulations" I said with a small smile, though I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but knowing how manipulative and deceitful Rana was, I felt bad for her future husband, who seemed to only be noticing Rana's captivating beauty.

What troubled me even more was that if this marriage went through, Rana would not be distant from our lives; she would be right here, living next to us.. the thought of having her around constantly, especially with all her schemes, filled me with unease.

Sumbul always carefully monitors my food and that of the children in the kitchen.. he never suspects anyone of tampering with it, but I suspect she has some girls in the harem who relay my every move to her, and I need to find out who they are.

"She was destined to wed much sooner, but alas, her unfortunate fiancé was taken from this world" Turhan Sultan said with a sigh, her attention returning to Nuray, who was moving about the chamber, inspecting everything in sight "May God grant us long lives so we can see our sultanas become brides as well"

"Inshallah" I replied quietly, nodding my head, my eyes shifting towards the open balcony as several thoughts spun in my mind.

»»-----　♔　-----««

-July 1662-

The day had come at last, a day I had dreaded from the moment I knew it would arrive.

We woke up early, as if I hadn't slept a single moment to begin with.. I watched as Orhan made his final adjustments, giving last-minute orders to his Grand Vizier, Yunus Pasha, who swiftly took them and departed to carry out his tasks.

"Now it really feels real" I whispered, just now coming to terms with the fact that this moment had arrived, and how quickly it had come.. too quickly, it seemed.

"You're right" he replied, his jaw tense yet his eyes calm, as I stepped closer to help him with his black leather coat.

He was nearly ready, and once I had finished, he turned to face me fully, then reached for his dagger, placing it carefully in its rightful place.

"Before you go" I said, my voice soft as I held his gaze "I want to give you something"

"What is it?" he asked quietly, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

I stepped back slightly, picking up a light pink ribbon I had placed earlier on the table while a small smile touched my lips as I gazed at him, then returned to face him.

"This" I began to speak softly "It's a tradition I inherited from my mother... Many women in Europe, when their husbands or beloveds are called away to war or set off on distant journeys, bestow upon them something like this" I looked into his eyes, waiting for him to offer me his hand, which he did without hesitation then I tied the ribbon carefully around his wrist "It will bring you luck and serve as a constant reminder of home, and of the one who awaits your return" I softly traced the ribbon with my fingers once it was firmly in place.

"I want you to carry this with you, Orhan... wherever you go, whatever you do, this will remind you of me.. and no matter what happens, don't take it off, even if it gets dirty or torn.. Keep it with you" I added, releasing his hand gently.

"I promise it will remain right where it belongs" He reassured me, his eyes softening, as a small smile appeared at the corners of his lips.

He pulled me into his embrace, running his hand gently through my hair.. I knew this would be the last time I would feel this close to him for a long while.. perhaps for a whole year or more.. I had no way of knowing when he would return, but one thing mattered above all.. that he would return to me, safe.

"I love you"

"I love you too"

Not long passed before we had to move to the Valide Sultan's chambers, where she awaited us, along with the children.. I had instructed the servants to prepare them, so they could say their goodbyes to their father.. their father whom they wouldn't see for months to come.

"May you return victorious" said Turhan Sultan, her smile warm in a way I had never seen from her before, as she gazed at Orhan, who had just kissed her hand.

"Inshallah" he replied, before turning to Zeynep, who had been with us throughout the week, preparing to say goodbye to her brother.

"My prayers are with you, your majesty" she said, placing a kiss on his hand and exchanging a small, tender smile with him.

He then moved to Ahmed, where their conversation was quiet and intimate.. I could guess that Ahmed was sad, knowing his father wouldn't be taking him with him, but whatever words were exchanged seemed to have soothed him, for in the end, Ahmed looked content and kissed his father's hand.

Next, Orhan turned to Aysel, who was barely standing, her small body seeming to long for sleep as soon as possible.

After lifting Nuray for a brief moment and kissing Selim and Osman on their cheeks, Orhan finally gave me one last look.. his fingers traced my cheek tenderly, then, without a word, he turned and left.

And I was left standing there, praying for his safe return.

»»-----　♔　-----««

-December 1662-

"Be careful, darling" I said with a wide smile, extending my hands to Osman, who was now taking his first steps.. something that we, the children and I, had been eagerly awaiting for the past few weeks since Selim had already taken his first steps at the age of ten months, which had truly been a surprise.

"Yes, he did it!" Aysel exclaimed, clapping her hands before turning to her friend Esra, the daughter of Zühre, who had come with her children to visit us today.

"Mashallah" I said, lifting Osman and planting a few scattered kisses on his face, each one making him laugh, before the door was suddenly opened and Sumbul walked in.

"We received letters today" he said, raising his hand, and my eyes immediately fell on a letter he was holding "This one is for you, Your Highness"

Without realizing, I handed Osman quickly to Zühre, who was laughing, before swiftly taking the letter and allowing my feet to lead me to the balcony, where I sat down to open it.

My most cherished Ayleen Nura,

By the time this letter reaches you, so much will have unfolded... we are far from where we once started, yet still moving forward, step by step.. and through all that we have faced, and all that still lies ahead, my thoughts are always filled with you.

I pray that the children are thriving.. How is Ahmed? I trust he is keeping his promise to me, as I know he always does.. and Aysel, I can imagine she must ask about me every single day.. tell her how much I cherish those little conversations of ours, and how much I long for them.

As for my sweet Nuray, Selim, and Osman.. how are they all? My heart longs for them more than words can convey.

I ask that you keep me in your prayers, as I do for you, with each passing moment.

Sultan Orhan Khan

»»-----　♔　-----««

-April 1663-

I stood before the fireplace, my arms crossed over my chest, savoring a moment of calm at last after the children had all gone to sleep.. But the silence was soon interrupted by the sound of the door, followed by Anastasia's voice.

"A letter for you, Your Highness" she said, walking toward me with a silver letter holder in her hands.. the moment I saw it, I knew it was from Orhan.

A broad smile spread across my lips as I sat on the sofa, exhaling as I gathered myself before reaching for the letter holder, taking the letter, and opening it.

My dearest Ayleen Nura,

By the grace of Allah, I have reached my destination, and I wish to ease your heart by assuring you that, for now, everything is going well.

I was overjoyed to hear that Selim and Osman have taken their first steps.. How wonderful it must have been to witness such precious moments.. I can hardly wait for the day I am reunited with them, to see their little faces and watch them grow before my eyes.. I long to hold them, to witness their progress firsthand, and to hear their voices once more.

And you.. how I miss you.

I miss the sound of your voice, your gentle touch, and the peace you bring into my life.. peace that I now need more than ever amidst the endless noise around me that never ceases.

Convey my warmest regards to Ahmed, Aysel and Nuray... Let them know that they are always in my prayers, and that they fill most of my dreams.. Also, tell Ahmed that I cannot wait for the day when he will be here beside me.

Sultan Orhan Khan

»»-----　♔　-----««

-November 1663-

"No, that's enough, Nuray" I said, gently pulling the plate of sweets away from her as she looked at me with a slightly annoyed expression, a few strands of hair falling over her right eye.

"No, mommy, it's not enough" she protested, quickly grabbing the plate back before running off to Isabel, who had just returned from outside.

"Since the engagement, you've been disappearing every day" I teased, adjusting my dress as I glanced at Isabel, whose cheeks were flushed, as they always were whenever she came back.

"Yes, I've been busy" she winked at me before planting a kiss on Nuray's cheek, then quickly approaching me "I just ran into Rana Hanim Sultan in the hallway.. Aren't they planning to leave soon?"

"I don't know, they were supposed to have left two weeks ago" I replied, pulling her hand so she could sit beside me "I forgot to tell you, but do you know what she said when I congratulated her on her upcoming marriage?" Isabel raised an eyebrow, curious, before I added "She said -Let's see first if he comes back safe and alive from this campaign, and then we'll talk about this marriage-"

"She scares me" Isabel replied with wide eyes, placing her hand over her chest "I pray to God that poor young man is kept safe from her" She stood up from her place "I'll change my clothes and be right back"

I nodded, following her with my eyes, before I seized the opportunity, with no one around, to quickly read the last letter that had just arrived for me.. one from my sister, Gisela.

My Dearest Ayleen,

I trust this letter finds you and your family in good health and spirits.

I am overjoyed to share with you the most precious news that has filled my heart.. After many prayers, I have given birth to a son.. a healthy, strong boy whom we have named Louis.

The joy of motherhood, as you once told me when you had Nuray, is a gift unlike any other.. His first cries were like music to my ears, and I am so excited to share this life with him.

I have also received word of your husband, Sultan Orhan's campaign, through my husband, King Carlos.. He has kept me as informed as possible, and I pray that the Sultan's endeavors are crowned with success.

I hope, with all my heart, that these turbulent times will soon pass and that he will return to you safely, for I know how difficult it must be to wait without him by your side.

My dear sister, my thoughts and prayers are constantly with you and your family.

May God protect you all.

With all my love,

Your sister

»»-----　♔　-----««

-February 1664-

I stepped into the carriage, a wide smile spreading across my face after a brief conversation with Zühre, who too departed in her own carriage after we had spent the morning assisting Turhan Sultan and the other women with their charitable work.

Zühre has always been candid and a dear friend.. Given her connections to the outer world, she is well-versed in the gossip and whispers that circulate among people and women alike.

She shared with me all that was being said about me, and advised that it would be beneficial for me to socialize more and make my presence known to the people.

"Turhan Sultan may be the Valide Sultan, but you are the first lady of this empire, and you must begin to engage in more duties" she once told me during one of her visits.

Her words truly convinced me to leave the children to Anastasia, Isabel, Sibylle, and the other maids, and to step out into the world more.. Actually, doing that today made me so happy, and on top of that, just moments ago, when we were leaving, I was handed some flowers by young girls no older than Aysel.

"Welcome back, Sultana" said Sumbul, waiting for me at the palace entrance, with something between his hands "This just arrived for you"

"Is it from Orhan?" I asked eagerly, grabbing the letter quickly after waiting for months without any word from him.. but as I examined the letter, I saw that it was from my mother.

While a wave of joy swept over me upon receiving a letter from her, the anxiety of having heard nothing from Orhan made my worry grow larger still.

I sighed and made my way to my chambers.. upon entering, I immediately went to the balcony, sat down, and opened the letter.

My Dearest Ayleen,

I write to you today in a mood less than lighthearted.. As I awoke this morning, I found myself holding my dear grandson, Frederick, and thinking of the others I have yet to meet.. your precious Nuray, Selim, and Osman.. How I wish I could hold them, embrace them, and tell them how deeply I love them, though they remain so far away.

It pains me that I have not yet seen their faces or heard their voices, but please know that they are forever in my heart and thoughts.

And then there is your sister Gisela's little Louis, whose birth filled my heart with joy... Though I have yet to meet him, I pray daily for his health and future.

The thought of all my grandchildren fills my heart with both immense pride and longing, and I pray to live long enough to meet each one of them and hold them close, just as I do with our little Frederick every day.

I must also tell you that I am closely following the news of your husband, Sultan Orhan's campaign.. May the heavens protect him and bring him safely back to your side.

I know how difficult this separation must be for you, for I have experienced it throughout my life and continue to do so.

Please send my love to all my grandchildren, and to you as well.

Your mother.