|Ayleen's POV|

-Two Weeks Later-

Although we were supposed to enjoy these days, the atmosphere felt incredibly gloomy, especially during Iftar.

Orhan had stopped joining us, citing work as his excuse, but we all knew the truth..he simply didn’t want to be in the same room as Zeynep... and perhaps not with me either.

Zeynep Sultan never so much as glanced in my direction, and she consistently kept her distance.. to be honest, I did the same.. not because I had anything of substance to offer her, but because I had no desire to invite more drama, especially with Rana and Fatma Sultan already providing more than enough.

The only thing that kept me grounded, occupied, and happy amidst all of this was the children.. taking care of them, listening to their various little stories.. whether it was Aysel’s wish for more little tiaras or Ahmed bragging about his progress in archery.

"Yes, go ahead and put them in the box, and we’ll sort out the rest later" I said, gesturing for Anastasia to place some of my old belongings in the box before leaving the extra room, holding in my hand the letter that had just arrived.

As I walked past Aysel, who was seated in front of Sibylle having her hair braided, I offered her a soft smile, then, I made my way to the terrace, eager to read the letter I had been anxiously awaiting.

It was from my sister, and already, my heart tightened, knowing that within those words would be her reaction..and the inevitable judgment of the rest of my family regarding my conversion.

I exhaled gently as I settled into one of the lounge chairs, allowing my gaze to wander over the view.. After a moment, I turned my attention to the letter in my hands, carefully unfolding it to read what awaited inside.

My Dearest Helena or Ayleen,

I hope this letter reaches you in good health, though I regret that it carries news that may bring you distress.. I couldn’t wait any longer to share what’s happening at home.. please know that I write this with the love of a sister, hoping to offer you clarity during this uncertain time.

Father, as you can imagine, is profoundly disappointed.. Your choices have shaken his sense of pride, and he’s struggling to understand.. Please know, his disappointment doesn’t lessen his love for you.. he simply needs time to reconcile this with the world he has always known.

Mother’s reaction was more subdued and contemplative.. She’s not angry, but I can sense the inner conflict she’s facing.. She’s processing everything in her own way, and though her words have been few, I truly believe that with time, she will come to accept it.

As for Matthias, he was understandably surprised.. While he may not fully grasp your reasons, his concern for you is sincere.. His confusion comes from a place of care, but I believe that with time, he will come to see that you are still the same person he has always known.

Sister, please don’t let this sorrow burden your heart.. Our parents simply need time to come to terms with everything, and I’m certain they will come to accept your choices in due course.

When I read your letter, I wasn’t surprised.. since you first confided in me, I sensed this moment was inevitable.. No matter what, my trust in you remains unwavering, and my love for you is steadfast.

I know this is a challenging time, but it will pass.. Please, be kind to yourself and patient with them as they find their way.. even from afar, I carry you with me in every thought and prayer.

On a lighter note, and in hopes of easing your mind, I have some joyful news to share.. our brother is expecting his first child.. It’s such a happy time for him and his wife.

As for me, I followed your advice and told Mother that I’ve accepted the marriage proposal.

With all my love,
Your sister, Gisela

I found myself reading those words repeatedly, as if willing them to change into something different, as though I were trying to trick my own eyes into seeing something that wasn't there.

I can sense that Gisela is doing her utmost to soften the blow, to make it seem less painful, but I know better.

My mother, ever the silent thinker, must be sequestered in her room, grappling with my choice in solitude, her mind endlessly circling, trying to find understanding where there may be none.

And Father… the pillar of faith and righteousness who has stood as a beacon to our people..how could he not be torn apart by this? How could I not be a source of disappointment to him?

I lifted my right hand to wipe away the tears that had started to fall.. I had chosen this path with love and conviction, yet the thought that my parents saw me as wrong was tearing me apart.. I tried to believe they would eventually accept my choice, but doubt crept in.

Despite my efforts to hold back, the tears slipped down my face.

After taking a moment to compose myself, I stood, folded the letter, and headed back inside to prepare for Iftar.. Though I had resolved not to join them today, I had just received word that Orhan would be attending, at Aysel's persistent request.

I gazed at my reflection in the mirror as Sibylle delicately swept a few strands of my hair over my shoulder, stepping back with a quiet pause, as if taking a moment to appreciate my appearance.

"Absolutely perfect" she said, her smile warm as she placed a hand gently on my shoulder "Now, just remember to smile and soften that tension in your face.. Everything will be alright.. And above all, keep in mind that you have children who need you" she added with a wink, the gesture drawing a smile from me as I stood.

"Alright… so, as you all know, you need to..." I couldn’t finish my sentence before Sibylle and Isabel cut me off.

"We promise, Ayleen, we've memorized every word" they chimed in, cutting me off, referring to the long-winded instructions I gave them each time I left Nuray in their care.

"Alright, alright" I replied with a hint of laughter, moving towards Nuray’s cradle.. she lay there in peaceful stillness, her small fingers fluttering gently as her eyes followed their every movement.

»»————-　♔　-————««

Everyone was eating quietly, except for Aysel, who kept asking questions now and then.. Despite my efforts to keep my eyes focused on my plate, which I had barely touched, curiosity burned within me.

I couldn't help but lift my gaze toward Rana.. Since the theory we had devised, this was the first time I, she, and Orhan were in the same space, and I found myself eager to observe the subtle shifts in her eyes as they lingered on him.

Of course, we weren’t wrong.. Despite pretending to focus on stirring her spoon, she would occasionally glance up, stealing brief looks at him.. This sparked a wave of anger inside me, and suddenly the room felt uncomfortably warm.

I pressed my right hand firmly onto the table, trying to steady myself, then took a slow sip from my glass of water, attempting to shift my focus elsewhere.. And of course, I made a conscious effort to avoid looking at the side where Orhan sat, his left hand lingering far too close to mine.

As if the tension had reached its breaking point, Orhan suddenly rose to his feet, and we instinctively followed suit.

"Ayleen, once you are done, come to me"

These words, unexpected and accompanied by a brief glance in my direction, left his lips and reached me.. I was momentarily stunned, unable to fully grasp what had just transpired, yet I nodded in response as he made his way toward the door and exited.

When I looked up again, I caught Rana's piercing gaze fixed on me, while Fatma Sultan watched with a quiet, probing curiosity.. At the same time, Turhan Sultan gave me a reassuring look, grounding me with a sense of calm before I made my way toward the door.

As I stepped into Orhan’s room, I consciously slowed my pace.. My gaze fell upon him, standing by his desk, his eyes intent on the two pieces of paper in his hands, as though he were carefully comparing them.

Yet, as soon as the door clicked shut behind me, he shifted his attention, setting the papers aside, his focus now solely on me.

"Come closer, Ayleen" he murmured, his tone unexpectedly calm.. something I hadn't anticipated after days of him avoiding me, barely offering me a glance.. It was unsettling, this sudden shift in his demeanor.

I remained silent, my mind struggling to make sense of what was unfolding before me.. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to remain composed, then slowly closed the distance between us.

When I finally stood before him, I paused, my hands resting at my sides, my gaze lifted to meet his, confusion clouding my expression.

"Do you have a problem?" he asked, his voice tinged with genuine concern.. But inside, I couldn’t help but think... Oh, really? Does he honestly believe I have no problems? What on earth is he even referring to?

"I don’t understand" the words slipped from my lips before I could stop them.. I couldn’t maintain his gaze, so I averted my eyes, letting them drift down to his chest.

"It’s obvious" he sighed, his voice tinged with quiet frustration.. he reached up, his fingers brushing gently against my chin as he tilted my face back toward his "Your eyes are swollen... have you been crying?"

"I'm..." I paused, recalling the words I had read earlier, momentarily losing my focus, but I whispered "Never mind, it's not important enough to discuss..."

"Seriously?" he murmured, pulling his hand away and stepping back, his body tense with frustration.

He turned sharply, slamming his fist onto the desk, as though unleashing all the pent-up anger he had been holding back.

"What is it with you? You’re not saying a word, not sharing anything!" He paused, his gaze locking onto mine once more "How long are you going to maintain this cold facade? Because I can't do it any longer... You're not even attempting to defend yourself"

"Well... I tried" I replied, my voice faltering as I nervously fiddled with my fingers "You wouldn’t even spare me a glance, let alone listen to what I had to say"

"You tried once.. and you knew that day I wasn’t ready to hear anything.. but I was still trying to justify your mistake, waiting for you to say something.. anything" He took a step closer, his hand gripping the edge of the desk, his gaze unwavering as he looked at me with a mixture of frustration and longing.

"I couldn’t" I murmured, my fingers tightening around the fabric of my dress as a tight knot formed in my chest.. I wasn’t prepared for this conversation, not today "And I had no excuse for that mistake.. I stayed silent, hoping you would say something first"

"You should have come to me from the start" he said, his voice edged with a deepening frustration.. he pressed his hand firmly on the desk, his eyes turning away as though the anger inside him had just begun to simmer.

"At the very least, you should have thought about the consequences" He stepped closer, his gaze locking onto mine with an intensity that made my heart race "If you didn’t consider yourself, or me, or our reputation, then you should have thought of the reputation of our daughter" His voice dropped on that last sentence, his eyes drifting away from me.

In that moment, his words hit me like a heavy blow, and my eyes instantly welled with tears, widening in realization as the weight of his meaning sank in "You know..."

"I know, but they don’t!" he replied, his voice rising with a hint of frustration.. Yet, the moment his gaze met mine again, his expression softened, and he let out a long sigh "Don’t cry... we’re just having a conversation" He paused, taking a deep breath before raising his hand in a gesture of surrender "If you don’t want to talk you can leave if you want" His eyes briefly flickered to the door before settling back on me, his gaze now searching, almost pleading.

"No... I want to make this right" I said, taking a step back, my breath shaky as I struggled to regain my composure.

"You need to let me in if we’re going to fix this.. Stop hiding everything from me" he responded, his voice laced with a desperation I had never seen in him before.

"Well, the first thing you need to do is stop dictating when I can come or go, when I can speak" I raised my hand, pointing at him, unleashing the anger I’d buried for so long "Even when you’re angry, I’m still your wife.. You can’t silence me whenever you choose.. You once told me we are equals, but your actions have proven otherwise the past weeks.. I’m not someone you can control, expecting me to remain silent and beg for your forgiveness.. Orhan, you can’t draw me in when it suits you and push me away when it pleases you"

"Alright" he sighed, his voice laden with thought, as if weighing my words.. he shifted slightly, his hand instinctively moving to the back of his neck "That was my mistake, and I owe you an apology.. I've been preoccupied"

"Alright" I hesitated, taking a few tentative steps closer to him "I owe you an apology as well, for keeping things from you.. I didn’t want to burden you, and I convinced myself that telling you the truth was something Zeynep Sultan would do, not me.. But I swear to you, it wasn’t because I didn’t trust you.. I just wanted..."

I didn’t get the chance to finish my sentence, as his lips suddenly crashed against mine, so I just melted into him, my body responding to his touch.

I could feel the steady beat of his heart beneath his chest, matching the rapid rhythm of my own.. His fingers brushed the small of my back, and the warmth of his touch sent a wave of heat through me, making everything inside me stir.

"From now on, don’t conceal anything, Ayleen" he murmured, his voice low and tender as he broke the kiss, his hand gliding over my jaw with a gentle touch "Is there anything else you wish to confess?"

"No... I don't..." The words trailed off as I suddenly remembered something I hadn’t yet told him.. the one thing I now had no reason to keep from him "There’s something"

"I’m pregnant" I whispered, a wave of relief washing over me "I just found out two weeks ago" For a brief, uneasy moment, a flicker of tension passed through me, wondering if he might be angry for not sharing this with him sooner.

But to my astonishment, despite the shock in his eyes.. as though he had never conceived of such news.. his lips parted, and a slow, genuine smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, one filled with warmth and undeniable joy.

"You are?" His voice was quiet, his fingertips still tracing the curve of my back, as I nodded, unable to suppress the smile that slowly spread across my face.

"That’s wonderful" he said, his voice brimming with such pure joy that it made my heart swell.

Without a moment’s hesitation, he pressed his lips gently to my cheek, his presence surrounding me entirely.. It wasn’t overwhelming in a harsh way, but rather, it was the kind of consuming presence that enveloped me completely.. his scent, his touch, the warmth of his breath all around me.

He paused, his lips hovering just above mine, his gaze locking with mine in a penetrating, unwavering stare "May I?" he murmured, his voice a breathless whisper.

The question caught me off guard, especially after the words I had just shared with him.. It felt as though he was doing exactly what I had asked.. I nodded, my lips parting just slightly, and my hands moved to rest gently on his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breath beneath my palms.

»»————-　♔　-————««

-Three weeks later-

I sat quietly, attempting to savor the music as much as possible, avoiding the gazes of everyone around me, whose faces seemed devoid of any joy.

Even Zühre, who was supposed to be here distracting me a bit, had excused herself at the last moment, claiming that her eldest son was feeling a little under the weather with a fever.

"Aunt Zeynep's dress is so pretty, I wish I could have one just like it" Aysel whispered beside me, pointing to Zeynep, who was seated next to us in her golden wedding dress.

"You shall have one just like it, darling, I promise" I replied with a smile, gently running my hand through her hair before leaning in closer "Are you feeling sleepy?" She nodded, just as I had anticipated, her eyes heavy with sleep, as if they could close at any moment.

I glanced at Elena, who understood and moved closer to escort the little one to her room to get her ready for bed. Meanwhile, I took the glass placed before me, holding it gently in my hands, my gaze returning to the musicians.

At that very moment, just as I was about to take a sip from my glass, my eyes caught sight of Rana.. She was watching me, her gaze fixed on my hands with that familiar, unsettling look.. But as soon as she realized I had noticed, she swiftly averted her eyes, making me raise an eyebrow.

I took a slow sip from my glass, while a cascade of events began to unfold in my mind.

|Flashback|

"Sultanim" Sumbul said, his voice tinged with concern as he burst into the chambers while I was sitting before the mirror, preparing myself for the party, which was just moments away from beginning.

"What is it?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in surprise, setting the perfume bottle aside as I turned to face him "Your face looks ashen"

"Of course it is" he sighed, his hands clasped together as he stepped closer, his voice dropping to a hushed tone "I overheard Rana Hanim Sultan speaking to one of her maids.. She mentioned they planned to slip something into your juice tonight.. She said it wasn’t a fast-acting poison, but something that would take time to take effect"

Despite the shock that painted both Sibylle and Isabel's faces, we had, in truth, expected something like this to unfold.. Especially with Rana preparing to depart soon; undoubtedly, she was scheming something before her departure.. And through all of this, she still doesn't even know I'm pregnant.. something I had urged Orhan to keep secret until after the wedding.

"It’s fortunate that you overheard this, Sumbul" I said, rising to my feet, my fingers intertwining with a soft sigh "I won’t drink it"

"I fear that might arouse suspicion" Sibylle interjected, stepping closer "The key is to make her believe you’ve already consumed it, letting her think her plan is progressing just as she intended"

"I agree" Sumbul said, his voice steady as he nodded and after a brief pause, he added, "Sultanim, allow me to switch the juice myself"

"But what if you don't change it, and I end up drinking that poison?" I asked, my voice tinged with anxiety as my hand instinctively rested on my belly.. It was a small mercy that no one else was present, for Sumbul already knew about my pregnancy.

"Trust me" Sumbul said, his expression unwavering with a quiet resolve "I’ll switch the glass without her even realizing, and I will ensure that the poison never touches you"

I held his gaze for a lingering moment, searching his eyes for any trace of doubt.. Confident, I nodded in silent agreement before turning and leaving the chambers.

|End of flashback|

I gently set the half-empty glass aside, rising with the others to bid Zeynep farewell.. She had begun to kiss her mother's hand, and despite the deep anger Turhan Sultan harbored towards her, as a valide Sultan, she would never let such emotions surface in front of the guests, while I waited with quiet patience for all of this to end, longing for the moment when I could retreat to my room and find some much-needed rest.