|Helena's POV|

I lit a candle and placed it beside the many others that were already glowing... Then, I knelt in the church, my fingers curling around the rosary, almost as if it were second nature.

I began murmuring my prayers, hoping for a sense of inner peace... I wanted to feel like I belonged, to stop seeking my mother's support, and instead, rely on myself.

As I whispered my prayers, I heard the heavy wooden door creak open and close again, its sound echoing through the stillness of the church... I was momentarily puzzled, certain that Anastasia would wait for me in the carriage as I had told her.

I heard soft footsteps approaching me, but I tried to ignore them... After all, this was a public church... anyone could come here, and there was no reason to worry or fear... This was a sacred space, a place of worship, so I wasn't in danger.

Once more, I focused on my prayers, my thoughts drifting to a faraway place, or perhaps, a different life... How had things been before I arrived here? I couldn't help but wonder if this was the life I truly wanted, or if I was simply settling.

My chest tightened, like a heavy weight was pressing down on my heart, making it hard to breath..e. It was hard to shake the ache of missing home.

After moments of silent prayer and quiet tears, I felt it was time to leave the church... I couldn't stay here much longer, not after leaving so suddenly, without informing anyone except Anastasia and the guard.

I stood quietly, adjusting my dress, wiping away my tears as I turned around.. only for my gaze to land on the figure standing against the wooden wall... Broad hands were folded, watching every movement I made.

I froze in place... this was the last thing I needed right now... I hadn't wanted him to see me like this, especially not in this vulnerable moment... This was supposed to be a private time for me, a moment shared only with the divine, but he had intruded.

I quickly lowered my eyes, realizing he wouldn't speak, and I had nothing to say either... I blinked, trying to steady myself, but the flood of emotions that had been building up for so long began to break through.

And then, it happened.

A tear slipped down my cheek, and before I could stop it, more followed... My chest tightened again as everything I had been holding inside threatened to suffocate me... I didn't want to cry in front of him... I didn't want to show any weakness, especially not now, but I couldn't stop.

Orhan's gaze softened, and without a word, he closed the distance between us... His arms wrapped around me gently, pulling me into his embrace.

"You're crying" Orhan murmured, his voice thick with concern "What's wrong?"

I shook my head, pressing my face against his shirt, trying to hide the tears that wouldn't stop flowing... His concern was palpable as his hand gently ran along my back, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him everything.

He stayed silent, continuing to run his hand through my hair as if giving me space, then gently pulled me into one of the long wooden chairs.

"I miss my mother... my family" I whispered, my voice breaking slightly "It's not that I hate this place... or your family... It's just that sometimes, I feel like I don't belong here"

He didn't respond right away... Instead, he reached up and gently brushed the stray tears from my cheek with his thumb.

"I understand" he finally said softly, his gaze moving back to the table filled with candles in front of us "In fact, you've been doing well since you got here"

I lowered my head at his words... I wouldn't deny that, despite my constant longing for my family, I had genuinely enjoyed my time here at first... I liked the people who treated me kindly, and things seemed to be going well.

Yes, I loved Orhan and his family, but my problem was with this place... It would never feel perfect, not after I realized I would have to face Rana and Fatma every year, potentially enduring years of harassment... I wasn't sure if I could handle that kind of life... Then, what Isabelle had said about possibly not seeing Orhan everyday troubled me deeply.

"Listen, Helena" Orhan said, his voice taking on a seriousness that snapped me out of my thoughts "You already have a family here... You're part of us, even if you don't realize it yet... Everyone loves you... My mother talks about you all the time, and Zeynep always wants to go out with you for a walk, but sometimes she holds back because she's shy and afraid she might bother you" He smiled a little "Ahmed loves your jokes and he says he loves making you chase him around the garden"

He turned to me, and his gaze lingered longer than I expected, making me feel self-conscious, like something was wrong with me... But then he reached out and tucked a few stray locks of my hair behind my ear "And I enjoy watching all of you from the balcony"

Though the timing was far from ideal, I felt a blush rise in my cheeks... His words wrapped around me like a warm blanket, easing some of my doubts and enveloping me in a truth I longed to hear.

"And Aysel" he continued "there's no need to explain... She's already started copying your walk and the way you talk... She even wonders why her hair is blonde and not chestnut like yours" He raised an eyebrow with a hint of teasing in his tone "By the way, she's mad at you"

"What!...Why?" I asked, suddenly concerned... For a moment, all the swirling thoughts in my head stopped as my mind fixated on the fact that Aysel was upset with me.

"She said you backed out of wearing a matching dress with her" he said, nodding dramatically "For Aysel, that's considered a major betrayal"

"Oh" I blinked, then smiled at his teasing "I'll make it up to her... I only told her we'd have to postpone it until tomorrow"

"Are you going to join us for iftar tomorrow?" he asked, looking at me with a mix of curiosity and something else in his eyes.

His gaze made me wonder if my absence today had been perceived as a sign of disrespect, or perhaps he thought I was refusing to be part of their traditions.

"I ... think so" I replied hesitantly, lowering my eyes as I nervously toyed with my ring "Do you think it's the right thing to do?" I asked the question carefully, especially after what Rana had said about how my presence seemed unnecessary since I wasn't fasting.

"Of course, your presence is important, Helena" he said, sitting up straighter as if he were about to say something more but stopped himself... he placed his hand over mine, sighed, and then met my gaze "If you continue to isolate yourself, you will never feel like you're truly part of us... Your presence matters, Helena.. I know how intelligent you are, and I expect great things from you"

His last sentence left me feeling a bit puzzled... It was vague and ambiguous, leaving me wondering what exactly he meant by "great things" and what he expected from me... I couldn't quite grasp the significance of it, but it seemed like he noticed the confusion in my eyes and Instead of clarifying, he let me work through it on my own.

I turned away, my gaze returning to the flickering candles... My mind was in turmoil, overwhelmed by thoughts... Orhan was right.. if I wanted to truly belong, I needed to assert myself, to establish my place... Not as Helena, the princess this time, but as the Haseki Sultan.

The day that Fatma and Rana were to come, Turhan Sultan sent Zeynep to inform me about my position.. It wasn't a random gesture... it was a reminder of my position, a subtle nudge that perhaps I should use that position against them... Who is Rana compared to me? That's the question I needed to answer.

This wasn't just about a kind princess from across the world anymore... It was about who I was becoming.

That day, in bursa ... I asked myself what my legacy would be, and I realized it was time to break free from the chains that had bound me and find that out for myself.

Orhan and my mother shared the same ideas ...They both believed I was part of this now, and to be honest, I knew I wouldn't just be a fleeting moment in history... I had the power to do something greater.. I could create something beautiful for myself.. something that would leave a mark, something that would make me unforgettable.

As these thoughts swirled in my mind, I turned back to Orhan... He, too, seemed lost in his own thoughts, staring intently at the candles.

A soft, almost imperceptible smile spread across my face as if I were being awakened from a slumber.

In that moment, I squeezed his hand gently, leaned in, and placed a kiss on his cheek..