Chapter six:
"Secret Passion"

? POV

What am I doing right now?

This isn't helping anything.

I shouldn't be in here, like this... regardless of what I want... or don't want.

Or what he wants... or doesn't want.

I sighed to myself.

Are we ready for this?

Can we handle it?

I shouldn't be waking him up right now.

I held my breath and cracked open the door, tiptoeing on the light carpet, over to the bed. Nerves washed over me as the scent of him became stronger.

He looked so peaceful as he slept... Like he was in some type of magical world, with nothing to do but fly around...

For a brief second, I wished I could somehow climb into his body and share that dream with him... escape from everything... from the reality of this world, of our relationship - or lack there of, thanks to me and my relentless thoughts.

I'd give anything to escape right now.

And try to forget that if we take this step which I'm about to begin, there is no turning back.

We'd never be the same.

We'd never look at each other with the same thoughts as we used to... and it'd all be my fault, if this ends badly.

I sighed, running my hand along his bare back. Please just let this night go okay... please don't let me screw this up.

I twitched my lips, watching my hand tremble along the white sheets he was covered in.

It wasn't that I felt guilty for wanting to be with him, that wasn't the case here.

It was the idea of waking up tomorrow, when all was settled and done, and feeling the entire universe shift in the sky.

It was the nervous and terrifying anticipation that this could make or break us completely.

I took a staggering breath, leaning down to his ear, running my left hand along of the back of his hair line.

"Hey you," I whispered, clutching the towel I was wearing around my body tightly.

He nuzzled his face into the white pillow, not opening his eyes, "hmm?"

I smiled, caressing the back of his head. "Hey... can you wake up for a second?"

He nuzzled his face again, and rose to his elbows, lifting his chest from the bed and looking around.

"Are you all right?" he whispered, his voice scratchy as he blinked at me.

I nodded, my heart pounding through my chest.

He took another squinty look around the darkened room, his eyes focusing on the fireplace I lit for us.

Then he glanced back at me, his eyes trailing down my body as he took in my half-naked appearance. "What's going on?"

I bit my lip, holding my breath, "can you wake up?"

He furrowed his brows in confusion, but nodded shortly after, pulling himself up and twisting around so he could sit.

"What's going on?" he asked again, still confused.

I was sure the last thing he expected was for me to be in here like this, wearing one tiny, thin garment.

I chewed the inside of my bottom lip, fixating myself on his eyes. His warm, glowing, dark eyes...

I licked my lips and rose to my feet beside the bed, not removing my eyes from his.

"Are you all right?" he asked, tilting his head, more confusion crossing his face.

I nodded, taking a step back, my heart pounding through my throat.

He started to speak again, but stopped himself as he scratched his head.

I could tell I was making him nervous.

He never liked being out of the loop.

I gripped the top hem of the towel in my fingers, not removing my eye contact with him.

After taking a few deep breaths, I pulled the towel from my body, my arms extending outward, and dropped it behind my back.

His breathing stalled as he refused to look at my body.

"What are you..." his voice trailed off as he began to fidget.

I glanced at the floor for a brief second, before bringing my eyes back to him...

He ran his hands over his face a few times, before blinking and looking back at me.

"I'm confused," he whispered, creasing his forehead.

"I know you are..."

"Can you tell me what's going on? This isn't like you."

I nodded, pulling my lip back through my teeth.

He waited for me to speak, but when I didn't, his forehead crinkled more.

I walked over to him, slowly, and reached out my hand.

"What?" he asked, staring at my palm.

"Take it."

He swallowed hard, reaching his left hand out and placing it on my palm.

I tugged on him slowly, motioning for him to come to me.

He hesitated for a few seconds, trying to still figure out the situation at hand.

"It's okay," I whispered to him, my voice as soothing as I could get it, with my thudding heart.

After staring at me for a few seconds, he slowly crawled on his knees, scooting toward the edge of the mattress.

I continued to walk backward, slowing my steps, as he followed me, stepping down onto the carpet.

The fireplace sparked and crackled behind us as he rose in his pajama pants, following me with a nervous expression.

"What's going on?" he asked, his own hands trembling in mine.

I held my breath, pulling him closer to me and placing both his warm hands on my naked hips.

"Uhhh," he said, his face showing nothing but confusion and fear, as well as lust... which he seemed to be trying to shake off.

I was intimidating him.

I took the final step toward him, pushing my bare chest into him.

He tried to raise his hands up in the air from me, in a freeze position, but I refused, gripping his hands on my hips and not allowing them to budge.

"What's gotten into you?" he asked, shaking his head as his breathing became shorter.

"Isn't it obvious?" I replied softly.

He shook his head, his eyes never leaving mine "not really... just confusing..."

I tilted my head, watching him become more nervous and tering.

"I'm not s-sure what you are ...uh..." his voice trailed off, as he took in my appearance.

"Yes?" I pressed, dipping my head to keep eye contact with him.

"Uh, I'm not sure what you're trying to do, here..."

I rose on my tiptoes, bringing my face inches from him.

He moved his face back so he could continue to look at me, but I shook my head as I slid my fingers up his hands, along his arms, across his shoulders, around the back of his neck, and not resting until I cradled his line between my hands, pulling his face down to mine.

I heard him gasp as I pressed my lips to him, his entire body locking tight.

I continued to kiss his frozen lips, forcing his mouth to part along mine. His hot, sweet breath crashed over me as his lips trembled against mine. I gripped the back of his hair with my fingers, pulling him to me as I deepened the kiss. I tilted my head, dragging my tongue out slowly, placing it on his bottom lip.

He started to pull away again, but then had some kind of inner battle with himself as he stuck in his bearings.

I felt his hands come along my body, grasping my wrists in his strong fingers.

I expected him to pull away from me.

I expected him to gasp for air, shaking his head as he backed off, trying to figure out what was going on with me.

So when he stood there, thinking in his head but allowing my mouth to take over his... I knew I was winning.

After a few minutes of my continued intentions, he broke loose, kissing me back.

It was slow at first, but the further I pushed it, the more he seemed to respond. I felt his tongue trace along my bottom lip, and I closed my eyes, ring the teasing he was giving me. I parted my lips wider, begging him for ance. He sighed, plunging his tongue into my mouth and jerking my body against him. His fingers gripped my hips with force as he pushed his face into mine roughly.

He was still battling with himself... but the lust was taking over.

I threw my arms tighter around him, begging for the final inch between us to dissolve.

I needed the contact.

He jerked my hips into him, his tongue and lips increasing their friction. I tangled my fingers in his hair as he trailed his hands along my body, from the small of my back, up my spine, around to my rib cage, and down to my hips. Then he gripped me tighter and lifted me up in the air, and instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist, moaning into his mouth.

He twisted around and walked back to the bed, his tongue battling for declaration with mine. He tasted sweet, sweeter than I'd ever tasted before...

My eyes sealed tighter as his bottom lip dragged along mine in a sweet, endearing way... God, he was an incredible kisser.

He leaned me back, placing me gently onto the mattress as he hovered over me. He pulled himself up a bit, taking a good glaceglance at me as I smiled up at him.

Is this happening? was the expression on his face, a mixture of confusion and wanted desire. Am I allowing this to happen?

I nodded, trailing my cold fingers along his defined chest, up to his neck. I wound them around his skin, pulling him down slowly.

He stopped an inch from my lips, taking a deep breath.

"Wait, wait, wait a second!" he gasped, shaking his head. "Are we doing this?"

I nodded again, smiling to him as my heart rate slowed down...

"Are you ready for this? Because if not, we c-"

"No!" I said, covering his mouth gently. "I'm ready."

I was beginning to feel more comfortable around him... more secure.

Because maybe this was the right thing to do.

Maybe it was the right time for us.

He kissed me hard, his tongue entering my mouth at a rapid pace.

I moaned into him, bringing my legs around his waist as our hands began to explore each other.

Caressing... massaging... memorizing...

He sucked on my neck, his hot tongue sliding along my skin.

I shut my eyes, enjoying the sensation all too much.

My hands trailed between us, to the drawstring on his pants.

He pulled his face back, placing a few small, warm, delicious kisses on my bottom lip.

He helped me remove his pants, allowing them to slide down his legs with the help of my feet as I pushed them down.

He spread my legs apart, gently with his warm hands, and then he climbed above me but careful not to crush me with his weight.

He ran his fingers along my face, moving my hair out of my eyes then using the back of his hand to caress my cheek. "You know this changes everything, right?"

I held my breath for a few seconds, as the scent and taste of him soaked into my mouth and nose, where I wanted it to remain. "Yes."

He kissed my eyelids as my lashes fluttered shut, my hands trailing along his back.

"And you're..." his eyes met mine, warm and hooded, "...you're sure about this?"

I tilted my head, glancing at his eyes for what seemed like an eternity.

I didn't know anything. I didn't know what I was sure of... but I knew I didn't want to stop, for whatever reason... that has to count for something, right?

And tonight, I didn't want to be alone, and I didn't want him to be alone either.

I wanted to be together tonight...

...Even if it killed me tomorrow.

"Yes," I replied, my voice barely a whisper.

He smiled, his wet lips warm and glowing in the light of the orange fireplace.

Then he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, causing my heartbeat to rise all over again...

-

Taehyung POV

When I woke up in the morning, everything was hazy.

I rolled over onto my back, the sheets tangled around my legs in an ungodly fashion.

I groaned, rubbing my palms on my face.

Then my eyes popped open and I held my breath, glancing around the room.

I was alone.

I sat up on my elbows, squinting my eyes as I glanced around the empty walls.

The fireplace was still lit, crackling and popping away.

My eyes settled on the dust floating around in the air, from the window above my bed as the sun cast its way in.

This wasn't how it was supposed to happen, I thought to myself.

I knew I was in the wrong... what did I do?

I listened in the bathroom for any signs of movement, but there were none.

Then I moaned as I flopped back i the mattress, throwing the covers over my head with a groan.

What the fuck happened last night?

How did everything change with me?

Why did I let myself get to that point... so vulnerable?

I never get that loose... I never break down my armor, not for anyone.

I laid there in silence, listening to my ragged breaths as my body tightened and clamped up.

"This is going to be a bad fucking day," I said loud to myself as I slapped the pillow on my head.

A really bad fucking day...

Dammit, Taehyung.

-

Luna POV

I woke up laying on my side, my hair spread out along the pillows.

I blinked a few times, glaring at the large windows, as the sun reflected from the snowy ground and blinded me through the glass.

I covered my eyes with my palm, glancing down at the fireplace. It was almost put out.

What time did I even go to bed?

I couldn't remember, with everything else that happened yesterday...

A lot happened yesterday... stuff I couldn't take back.

I rolled onto my back, noticing the bed empty to my left, and made up neatly on Yoongi's side, with his dark pajama pants folded neatly on the end.

I held my breath, listening for any kind of movement in the bathroom or in the hallway.

Nothing... just silence.

I pinched the bridge between my nose with my fingers, as my blood pressure began to climb.

I suddenly felt nauseated. And panicked. And empty.

Luna, what did you do?!

I shook my head, rising up slowly to a sitting position, wrapping the covers around me for warmth.

I blinked a few times, letting my eyes adjust to waking up.

Then I staggered to my feet, swaying a little.

My body felt like rusting metal.

Sore.

Aching.

I trailed into the bathroom, placing my ear on the door to Taehyung's bedroom, in hopes of hearing him moving.

Nothing.

I locked the door, and walked over to the mirror, taking a glance at my haystack on my head and shaking my head as I glanced into the mirror.

"This is going to be a fucking bad day," I said out loud to myself, as I turned on the cold water, splashing it on my face.

Good going, Luna.

-

Jennie POV

I woke up to the sound of Jungkook swinging open the bedroom door, plopping down in the bed beside me.

I flipped my body around, blinking my eyes to focus on him.

"Where were you last night?" he asked, throwing the covers over his body and kicking off his shoes.

I shrugged, not wanting to answer that question. "Where were you?"

"I was with Yoona," he muttered, tucking the pillow under his neck the way he wanted it. "We didn't get much sleep..."

"Oh."

I rolled onto my back, staring at the popcorn ceiling above me.

It was silent for a few minutes, as things from last night began to enter my mind.

How could I be so foolish?

So selfish?

This wasn't like me... I was more chipper when I wasn't on vacation, it seems.

And a lot wiser too.

"Were you hanging out with Taehyung again last night?"

"Yeah," I nodded, throwing my fingers over my face and tugging my hair as I tried to shake off Taehyung's expressions and words last night. "we hung out pretty late."

"I don't get you two sometimes," he said, flipping his body around to a more comfortable position.

"How's that?" I asked nonchalantly as my body began to quiver.

"Girls and guys can't be just best friends, Jennie. It doesn't work... eventually, there's always going to be a want, or some kind of need that gets thrusted between them."

I closed my eyes, trying to avoid the tears that were welling up.

"Ye-eah?" I asked, my voice shaking.

I never told Jungkook what happened between Taehyung and me that night he consoled me. I just told him I was having a bad night, and he never asked for the details. Thank God.

"Yeah," he sighed "eventually... something's going to happen, whether it is for the good, or for the bad."

"How do you know?" I replied, my hands trembling as I pulled the covers over my suddenly-cold body.

"Because it's happened to me," he croaked. "...a long time ago. We lost our friendship over it, eventually... Things were never the same again."

I sealed my eyes shut, the tears escaping the corners and sliding down my face onto the pillow.

"You... you never know," I answered. "I think Taehyung and I have been friends long enough to make it work out for us... In one way or another."

He was quiet for a few minutes and I thought he fell asleep.

"True," he finally responded, nestling into the mattress. "...Let's hope so, right?"

"Right," I whispered, shaking my head.

This was going to be a bad fucking day, I could tell all ready.

How stupid are you, Jennie?!

-

Yoona POV

I didn't sleep very well last night.

I couldn't, after everything was said and done.

I felt my heart rate pick up around three o'clock this morning, and it never died down again.

After everything happened, I tossed and turned, alone in my bed, flashes of yesterday cramming into my head.

Why did you do that, Yoona? I asked myself as I continued to beat myself up for the hundredth time.

I've done some crazy, foolish, stupid shit in my life.

But nothing could have prepared me for the decision I was faced with yesterday.

The decision that didn't affect just me.

I sighed, rising to my feet and staggering to the bathroom.

I didn't know if I wanted to face anyone today, or if I could face them.

I didn't want to have them reading my expression, and figuring me out.

I didn't want to appear vulnerable, or confused to anyone... especially not him.

I brushed my teeth, staring at my empty expression into the mirror.

You did the right thing, I told myself. You always do.

You make a decision, and you stick by it, no matter what the cost.

There are no mistakes.

Just what you do, and what you don't do.

Well, I did something yesterday, and the mere thought of it shook me up.

I bent over the sink, spitting and rinsing out my mouth.

And when I sat back up and glanced at my torn expression, I frowned, feeling my heart try to escape from my chest.

It was wrong. I shouldn't have done it.

What were you thinking, Yoona?! I scolded myself, jerking the brush through my tangled hair.

I listened as the fireplace crackled to a halt in the bedroom, and shut my eyes tight.

"This is going to be a bad fucking day," I said to myself, shuttering at the image of the people downstairs, waiting for me.

Pull it together, Yoona, I thought shaking my frame around. You made your grave, now you lie in it.

-

Yoongi POV

I jogged down the stairs, skidding into the kitchen.

I found Yeri and Jimin leaning against the counter, laughing into their cereal bowls.

I smiled at them slightly, but couldn't glance in their eyes as I opened up the fridge.

Yoongi, what did you expect to happen? I repeated to myself for the billionth time. You're the one who said okay!

I thought I could shake it off, come downstairs, put on my mask for the day, and act like everything was normal.

But everything wasn't normal.

And I wasn't okay with what I allowed to happen.

I pulled out the milk, pouring me a tall glass as images of yesterday flashed through my mind.

Luna's eyes, Luna's lips, Luna's tears, Luna's gasps, Luna's touch, Luna's trembles... Luna's kiss.

I bit my lip, closing my eyes as I shook my head.

This was all my fault. I let it get this far... I should have been more responsible with us.

Now I was in the deep end.

Without a fucking paddle, a life jacket, or a boat for that matter.

Because she still loved him, though she was with me... officially commited to me.

"Uh, Yoongi?" I heard Jimin call from behind me, snapping me out of my daze.

I glanced around to him, to find his expression wide eyed and staring at me.

"Yeah?" I squeaked out, my hands trembling.

"Dude, you're overfilling your cup."

I glanced back over to the counter, to see the milk overflowing from the glass, all over the counter.

In a shocked reaction, I released the milk jug and it dropped to the ground, milk flying everywhere, all over the cabinets.

"Shit!" I cursed, squatting down and grabbing it.

Yeri hopped off the counter and grabbed some towels, helping me mop it up.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I said to her. "I wasn't paying attention."

"It's okay," she replied, helping me rise to my feet. "Are you all right?"

I nodded, sitting the half-empty jug on the counter with the blue cap beside it, "yes. I'm fine."

"You sure?" Jimin asked, tilting his head in my direction.

I nodded, taking a deep breath as my frame trembled.

This was going to be a bad fucking day; I could sense it in the air.

Great fucking work, Yoongi.

-

Taehyung POV

I waited until as long as humanly possible to get out of the bed.

Then, around one in the afternoon, I staggered into the bathroom, hissing as the cold floor touched my warm feet.

I hurried over to the toilet, relieving myself from all the tension I let build up in my bladder.

My head pounded, my mouth was dry, my stomach was in knots, and my heart felt like it was on fire.

I flushed the toilet and turned on the shower, as hot as it could go.

My body ached from all the twists and turns I did, and was desperate for any kind of relief I could give it.

I dropped my dark pajama pants and climbed in, sighing loudly as the hot water hit my body.

What am I going to do now?

What could I possibly do to mend this?

To fix myself?

To fix her?

Could I fix anything I helped cause?

Or was it too late?

I threw my head back, allowing the scorching water to cascade on my scalp and down my back and chest.

I scrubbed my face with my palms, whining internally over the disaster I allowed to unfold yesterday.

I could have stopped it. I know I could have.

I could have said something, done something... but I didn't.

Because I fucked up.

I lathered my scalp with my fingernails, growling out my frustrations.

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" I spat, bending my head forward and allowing the water to rinse out the shampoo.

After I was all washed clean, I stood in the mist, shaking my head.

I almost wanted to cry, that's how frustrated I was. And I don't cry that often.

I've never let anything in my life be this confusing... not even when all that crap happened between Luna and me so many years ago.

Suddenly, I wished I could go back to that moment, and change my decision, and hers as well.

Or possibly even further... before I met her, so I could have a complete do over.

Or if we did have to split... maybe it could have been on better terms.

Then none of this could have happened.

Maybe she wouldn't be with Yoongi; maybe things wouldn't be so fucked up between Jennie and me... not to mention there wouldn't be any Yeri or Jimin drama.

I rested my forehead to the wall, gasping for air.

I didn't want to face anyone downstairs.

They'd all see right through me, I knew it.

I closed my eyes, begging for God to allow me to shrink to the size of one of these water droplets and sink down the drain, becoming lost forever.

After about ten minutes, when the water began to get cold and I realized He wasn't listening to me, I sighed and shut off handle.

"Guess you have to face the fucking world after all," I said to myself as I climbed out of the shower and wrapped the towel around me.

Right then, the door swung open, revealing Luna in an all-blue velvet jumpsuit, her hair with curls in it, and wide eyes.

We both froze.

"S-Sorry," she stammered, turning her face, "I didn't know you were in here."

"That's okay," I replied, turning to face the opposite direction, "I'm ...um, almost done."

I held my breath, as we both faced opposite walls and didn't move. I didn't want her to see my face. I didn't want her to figure me out.

And for some reason I couldn't figure out... she seemed just as uneasy around me.

Oh fuck.

This can't be good.

I shut my eyes, wanting to crumble on the floor.

"Are... um, you okay?" she asked heavily, not looking back at me.

I nodded, "yes. Are you?"

"Yes... I, um, I'm just gonna go use the other bathroom. See you downstairs."

"Okay, see you."

Once she closed the door behind her, I gasped, sitting unsteadily on the toilet lid.

She was nervous, I thought. What was she hiding?

I ran my hands through my hair, tugging lightly as I rose to my feet.

All I could picture was her and Yoongi... together... kissing... touching... being intimate.

I threw on my boxers, jeans, and blue, button-down t-shirt.

After applying deodorant, Axe spray, and fixing my hair, I decided it was now or never.

-

Lunch was fucking brutal.

I'd never felt so suffocated.

It was as if there were eight of us squeezed into a tiny fucking closet with a large fucking elephant sitting on our heads.

The only conversation was between Yeri and Jimin, at the far end of the table.

They were discussing his need to constantly have his phone, since he was highly involved in the stock market and trades. He was a broker. A rich broker, at that.

Yoona sat across from me, twirling her fork around her untouched macaroni-and-cheese, until the noodles were smashed into oblivion.

Jungkook sat to my right, half asleep, his head in his hand as he forced down his hamburger. He looked exhausted.

Jennie sat on the far end, never once meeting my eye or saying hello to me, fingering her ench fries.

Yoongi sat beside Yoona, glaring at his food on his plate with his hands on his lap. He looked awful. Stressed. Broken even.

I didn't want to think about it, or him with Luna, so I jerked my eyes away from him.

Then, to my far right, on the other side of Jungkook, by Jennie, was Luna.

She had her plate pushed to the middle of the table, also untouched, and was strumming her nails lightly next to her wine glass that was filled with ice water.

None of us seemed like we were even breathing.

And as I sat here, picking apart the top of my hamburger bun, I almost felt relieved.

Because as long as they were all focused on their inner-dramas, whatever they may be, no one was focused on me.

I took a quick peak over at Jennie, and she dropped her eyes from me quick, glancing back at her plate and shoving a fry in her mouth.

I pulled in my top lip, biting it hard as I stared at the table.

I felt sick.

I felt clammy.

I felt like a fucking asshole.

I shook my head, burying my face in my hands. I was disgusted with myself.

And I couldn't handle this shit anymore.

"Excuse me," I coughed as I rose to my feet, the same time Yoongi did.

We froze, staring at each other, our eyes wide.

My heart began to clench, as I held him in my grasp with my glare.

Why did he have her?

Why did this situation constantly get more fucked up?

He was the first to look down, moving his chair back with his right hand so he could squeeze out. He walked into the kitchen, carrying his plate and scraping off the food.

They all sat perfectly still as I stood in my spot, watching him move around.

After he was done, he walked over and patted Jimin on the shoulder. "Thanks for lunch, Bro."

"Yeah, no problem."

And as Yoongi walked away, my eyes trailed down to Jimin and Yeri... or more less their hands, which were intertwined.

What the fuck is going on with this world?

With that note, I departed from the table, catching quick glances from all four girls as I passed.

I ignored them, tossing my plate onto the counter, grabbing my jacket from the hanger, and walking outside.

It was freezing and snowing outside, as I headed toward the patio with the fireplace. I slid underneath the canopy part, dragging a chair with me to the fireplace. I dusted off the snow and sat down, burying my face in my left hand as I lit a cigarette.

And as I took my first inhale, staring at the flames, visions came crashing over me again.

I closed my eyes, trying to burn them out of my memory.

You're going to have to face this shit, I told myself. Stop being a fucking pussy and man up.

I scoffed, sitting back in the chair and bouncing my feet on the concrete.

I had no fucking clue how to handle this type of situation.

I'd never been here before.

I've never had my best friend confess her feelings for me.

I've never been in love with someone else.

I've never not had the answer... all the way until now.

-

Luna POV

I washed the dishes, staring out at Taehyung to my right, sitting on the patio.

He looked so heartbroken. Confused.

You're not the only one, I thought to myself as I scrubbed the frying pan.

I felt a touch on my back, a slight caress, and sighed.

"Hey Yoongi," I whispered, closing my eyes.

Yoongi walked beside me, turning on the water to help me rinse. "You doing okay?"

I nodded quickly, finding his eyes and giving him my best smile.

He nodded, turning his attention to the plate he was rinsing off.

I felt the tension between us, much different than yesterday.

And it was all my fault.

Because I was too stupid and didn't recognize the consequences for what they really were.

After a few lingering moments of awkward silence, he reached out, his wet hand finding my soapy one.

"Hey, Luna?"

I glanced up at him, finding his normally-warm eyes darker... It was painful to look at him, knowing what I started.

"Yes, Yoongi?" I whispered.

His eyes glanced around my face, looking at features I wasn't aware of. Then, they unsteadily found mine again.

"Nothing," he replied softly. "We'll talk about it later."

"Are you sure?" I asked, my heart clenching for him, for us.

God, this was so awkward.

And not at all what I was wanting for us.

"Yes," he said, rinsing the last soapy cup.

He dried off his hands, before bringing his right hand to my cheek, caressing it gently with his thumb.

I heard the door behind him open, as Taehyung shuffled back inside.

I jerked my eyes back to Yoongi, my boyfriend, and gave him my best smile.

"I'm here for you whenever, Yoongi," I said convincingly.

He nodded, kissing my forehead and walking away.

I noticed Taehyung drop his jacket on the hook, and shuffle up the stairs, not bothering to glance at Jennie.

That shocked me.

They were always around each other...

She shuffled in a few moments later, pulling out the trash bag from the roll out drawer in the cabinet.

"H-Hey Jennie?" I said as I watched her tie it up.

"Yeah?" She didn't even look at me.

"Is... um, everything okay with you and Taehyung?"

Slowly, she stood back up from her crouched position, her hands clasping together as she closed her eyes"no. Not really."

I pursed my lips, feeling awful for her. "Hey, can I ask why? What happened?"

She took a deep breath, running her fingers through her pointed black hair"because I made an awful mistake with him, and I can't take it back."

I squinted my eyes, trying to process the information. "What kind of mistake?"

She shrugged, shaking her head as she glanced at her shoes "the kind you can't take back, unfortunately."

I nodded, as we stood in silence for a few moments.

"You still, um," I cleared my throat. "but, you still love him, though, right?"

"Sure," she replied gently, placing her hands on her hips, "but I'm not in love with him. Not like I thought I was before."

My heart fell down into my stomach. "H-How do you mean? How can you just turn it off like that? That fast?"

She took a deep breath, throwing the heavy bag over her shoulder.

"Well, when you get caught up in the middle of something, and he confesses that you're not the girl for him, it kind of puts things into perspective for ya," she sneered at me as she began to walk out the kitchen.

Then she skidded on her heels, and turned to face me again. "Or," she continued, "if you fuck up twice... That really puts things into perspective for you."

I turned away the same time she did, clenching my eyes tight.

This wasn't helping anything. This just made me more confused.

-

Jungkook POV

I pulled a silent and stiffened Yoona onto my lap as I leaned back in the chase. Jimin and Yeri had a movie blaring through the surround sound, Forgetting Sarah Marshall. They were leaning into each other, laughing their heads off as they held hands... held hands. Like a fucking high school couple.

And Jimin was a player. We all knew that.

So what the fuck was he doing?!

I sighed, adjusting Yoona in my lap.

She trembled above me, her eyes bouncing around and refusing to focus on anything in particular.

I tilted my head as I stared at her face, running my hands along her long hair, "what's wrong?"

She gasped, closing her eyes. She covered her face in her hands, leaning toward our laps.

"Yoona," I whispered, pulling her closer to me, "tell me."

"I just... can't... stop... thinking... about... yesterday," she replied through breaths, shaking her head.

I pulled her closer to me, wrapping my arms tightly around hers. "About the accident?"

She nodded, her entire body in shivers.

I reached over the arm rest, grabbing a cover from the wicker basket and throwing it over us. I straightened out her legs so she could sit easier on me, and then began to massage her shoulders. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I cannot imagine how scary it was for you."

"I could have killed us all," she moaned in her palms. "I could have killed my sister. Everyone here that we all love! I knew I shouldn't have driven your Jeep, Jungkook! I didn't know how to handle it, and I wrecked it, and I'm sorry."

I sighed, twisting her body around to where she was laying over me, chest to chest, "Yoona, listen to me. You did everything right, okay? You were smart, you reacted smart... you handled it more perfectly than anyone around us could have. Including me."

She shook her head, sobbing along my right shoulder.

"I don't know how to tell you in any other way that I'm proud of you. I was never upset about the Jeep. Geico all ready came out and did the survey on it. It'll be fixed before this winter break is even up."

"But, I just," she cried, "I just... like you, so much. More than anyone, ever, and I'm so afraid you're gonna hate me over this."

"I could never hate you," I replied, squeezing her tight, "ever. I know we've only really gotten to know each other a few days ago, but my feelings for you grow by the second... and they aren't going to fade away because you reacted on instinct, Yoona."

"You don't have to say that to make me feel better. You can be honest with me."

"I am," I chuckled, bringing her trembling palms up to kiss them, "trust me, I am. I care about you, in more ways than you know. I've never had a meaningful conversation with anyone, like I did with you... It really meant a lot to me. You mean a lot to me. So stop worrying you're gorgeous little head about it!"

"But-" she started to say, but I squeezed her lips together with my thumb and index finger.

"No but's, dammit," I replied, laughing. "Now crawl your beautiful, tight ass up here and kiss me."

Her damp eyes sparkled as she laughed and did what she was told. And as she crushed her lips to mine, my stomach got butterflies.

Fucking girlie butterflies.

And I liked it.

Because I'm Jungkook, and I can rock the fucking butterflies and make it cool.

It's who I am.

-

Around eight o'clock, I noticed it was too fucking quiet in the house.

The only sound was the wind passing along the cabin with brute force, and the latest Bond movie on the screen.

Yeri and Jimin were cuddled up on the love seat, taking a nap.

Yoona and I were still parked on the chase, loving every second of each other's company.

Jennie was sitting on the long couch, and Yoongi was beside her. They looked like they were focusing on something intense, like a crossword puzzle of some sort.

I didn't even know they were friends.

Where the hell have I been?

"I think they'd make a cute couple," Yoona whispered, as if she could hear my thoughts.

I furrowed my brows at her, and glanced back over at them.

Sure, they had appeal.

But he was with Luna... and I know that it took him a long time to get there.

And I think she has some kind of mad crush on Taehyung... which she'd never fucking admit to.

And that'd be really fucking bad if that became a love-square of some sorts.

So I glanced back down to the beautiful girl beside me, kissing her forehead gently.

"I think we'd make a good couple," I said to her as I raised her chin to apply a slight kiss to her lips.

And when I noticed her eyes widen with joy, I thought I knew she agreed with me.

"Will you be my date for New Year's?" she asked with a wide smile.

"Date? Aren't we going to be here?"

She nodded, but I think we're gonna get everyone to dress up and throw a little party here. Luna and I, we have family friends that come over sometimes, maybe we could invite them... They're a few married couples, but they're cool... What do you say?"

I took a deep breath, pretending to ponder on it for a moment.

"Fine," I exhaled, "on one condition."

"What?" she giggled.

"I'll be your date for New Year's... if... you'll be my girlfriend for... ever."

She gasped, throwing herself on top of me.

"I'd love to!" she shouted, hugging me tight as we laughed.

"Good! Because I'd love to be your date!"

-

Taehyung POV

I walked through the pool room, down the side, toward the rock wall with the secret door that led into the grotto.

I took a glance around me, making sure no one was behind me, and opened it slowly, sneaking in and closing it behind me.

I turned the jacuzzi on high and sat my beer next to it.

I really needed a fucking place to just sit and think.

I needed to clear this head of mine and come to a rational decision.

It took me a good five minute to climb in, being that it was so hot.

Once I settled though, I leaned back and stared at the stones surrounding the room in the dim green and yellow lights.

It took a lot of work to put all those stones up, thanks to my dad, Luna's stepdad and myself.

But it was pretty damn cool to see the end results.

I splashed my face with the hot water, running my wet fingers through my hair.

Then I closed my eyes, ening to the jets come to life as I thought about my life.

Or the girls in my life... like Luna, and Jennie, and Yeri.

And the mistakes I made along with it... like cheating, and hooking up, and making wrong decisions.

I knew I shouldn't have cheated on Luna. Even while I was doing it.

Sure, I was drunk, but that didn't excuse any of it. It was still wrong, any way you look at it.

It was at her dad's old house, for Christ's sake.

It was with Yeri... a girl who tried so hard to be Luna's friend in high school.

It was only a few months until graduation.

Why couldn't I have just ignored the adults and made my decisions for myself?

Why couldn't I just shake it off, and prove to myself how much my girl meant to me?

I groaned, rubbing my face hard.

It was too fucking late to do anything about it now.

I was too late.

I covered my face, refusing to accept any apologies or negotiations I tried to make myself.

This was my fault.

All of it.

I heard the door slide open and exhaled. "I'm not in the mood for company," I growled under my palms.

"Okay, I can go."

My eyes popped open to find Luna, in a navy blue, 2-piece bikini. God she looked good.

I sat up, sliding to the other side, toward her.

"No, no," I stammered, motioning for her to stop, "please, don't."

She stared at me for a few minutes, then closed the door and dropped her towel next to mine.

She started to stick one foot in, but yanked it back really fast.

"Ouch," she hissed, grasping her foot with her hand.

I slid next to her, grabbing her foot between my palms. Just this simple touch broke my body into tiny pieces.

The electric current flew through us, something that never happened with the other girls... not with Yeri, or Jennie, or with anyone else I had been with.

"It helps if you rub it as you climb in," I whispered to her.

She raised her ebrow as she sat down, refusing to put any part of her body in.

I smiled the best smile atld muster, pulling her left leg out to me, "here, I'll do it."

She trembled as I massaged her foot, dipping it slowly into the tub.

She held her breath, but sighed as I began to caress up, along her calf as I continued to pull it in.

Once she could sit outside and have that leg up to her knee, I began working on the other foot. Slowly.

"You looked so distraught today," she whispered to me with a sigh.

I closed my eyes "yeah, I had a lot on my mind."

"Me too."

I looked up at her, our eyes locking. "Really?"

She nodded slowly.

Once her other leg was dropped, I slowly climbed to my knees on the seat in the tub, between her legs.

She gasped as I grabbed her hips, and we both froze as soon as she placed her hands on my shoulders.

After a few untimely seconds, I began to bring her inside, slow at first as I caressed her inner thighs.

She squinted her eyes a bit as I moved her with me, the heat beginning to get stronger.

"Are you okay?" I whispered to her, slowing down.

She nodded, closing her eyes tight.

I lowered her all the way until she was straddling my legs, her back pinned up against the stone wall.

Once she was adjusted, I slowly scooted back and released her to sit as I moved back to my side of the wall.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, allowing the water to bounce around our skin as the current flew around us, swirling around in a whirlpool mixture.

She reached over and grabbed my beer from me, taking a long sip of it.

I smiled as she pulled it away, noticing a bit of the wet on her bottom lip.

I wanted to lick it off.

God I loved her so much.

Still.

I looked away, focusing my eyes on my crinkled fingertips.

Waterlogged.

But there was no way in hell I was leaving her presence.

Ever.

"Hey, do you know what I was thinking?" she whispered.

I raised my eyebrows, looking up to meet her again, "what's that?"

She took a deep breath, running her hands along her arms with the warm water. "I was thinking about our first time."

I snickered, shaking my head and looking down, "or lack there of, right?"

"No... I don't look at it like that."

I scrunched my forehead, looking at her piercing golden eyes again. "I thought you did... that's why, you know, you told me it didn't count."

"I said that because I was upset, Taehyung."

I tilted my head at her, adding this onto my stack of confusion.

"Well," she explained, taking another sip of my beer, "it was very much real to me..."

I nodded, looking down at her collarbone. She had on her necklace.

Just as I did.

"Me too," I whispered, struggling of air.

I didn't know she was wearing it again. I know she didn't have it on before...

"I wish we could have... finished all the way..." she said, letting out a big breath, "it's weird, being back in that bedroom... I sleep in there every night, and suddenly, all those memories from it came crashing over me last night... and I almost felt heart ache because I wanted to go back there so bad."

"I didn't want to hurt you though," I replied after a minute of silence. "It was hurting too much for you, so it was best we stopped."

"I know," she nodded, swallowing hard, "but I still count you as my first, Taehyung. It was on my birthday, and it was with my true love... I'd never change it for anything. Regardless of if we never got to try again."

I smiled at her dimly, not able to look at her in the eyes at the moment, "I wish we could have finished, too."

"Yeah," she exhaled, watching me light my cigarette, "...so, tell me, how many girls have you been with?"

I closed my eyes, taking a big puff.

"Do you really want to know?" I asked, letting the smoke out.

She nodded, her eyes on my lips.

I licked them, watching her eyes part slightly.

"Six," I replied honestly. "Six, counting you."

She nodded, looking a little shocked as she met my eyes again. "I thought it'd be more than that... from all the rumors and stuff."

"Don't believe everything you hear," I replied.

She nodded, a smile rising on her face.

"So?" I said, raising my left eyebrow, "...your turn."

She closed her eyes, her cheeks turning my favorite shade of pink, "three, counting you."

"Three?" I teased, running my fingers through my hair. "Not what I expected, but it settles for you."

"What did you expect?" she giggled, curling her knees up to her chest.

"Two, I think."

"Who? You and Yoongi?"

I nodded.

"No. I've never had sex with Yoongi."

I tilted my head "but I thou-"

"No" she shook her head as she cleared her throat "just you, and a guy named Mingyu, who I dated on and off during my first year of college, and a guy named Mark, who I wish more than ever I could take back."

I thought for a few seconds, rubbing my jaw with my fingers. "So... how's Yoongi dealing with that?"

She shrugged, "I'm, um, not really sure."

I pursed my lips, staring at her necklace for a good five minutes.

"Do you love him?" I finally asked, my stomach twisting in knots.

"No," she answered, her voice gently"not like that."

"Perhaps, one day?"

"No. I don't think so. What about you and Jennie?"

I shook my head with a frown "no... not more than my best friend. She'll always be that."

"Taehyung, I really do forgive you... for the whole Yeri thing. All of it. I want you to know that."

I nodded, my head swimming in different directions, "I forgive you and Jimin too. Honestly."

"Good," she beamed, "and... if that's what is stopping you from moving on, please don't let it."

I found her eyes again, and she gasped at our contact.

"It's not what stopped me, Luna. Yes, it sucked and I was pissed about it and became sort of a dick to you over it... but that's not why I won't move on from you."

She tilted her head in the opposite direction as me, penetrating me with her stare. "Oh. Then why, Taehyung?"

We sat there for about six minutes in pure silence, staring at each other intensely.

Then I broke our gaze, taking the final sip of my beer. "Because I still love you," I said as I sat it down on the edge.

She gasped, but I could almost hear her heart pounding from here.

I met her eyes again, to find them broken, and confused.

"You don't have to say it back," I said with an awkward chuckle, "I just ...wanted you to know how I felt."

She nodded, her right hand covering her chest.

I began to fidget under her silence, wondering if I just made it worse for us.

Then she slowly reached out her hand for me, which I took.

I let her pull me toward her, and once I became still between her legs, with my knees on the ground and my head barely above the water, she gave me the strongest hug ever.

"I still love you too," she whispered, hugging me tightly in her grasp.

I ran my hands along her spine, as both of our hearts ached but blended together with our chest-to-chest contact.

I buried my eyes into her damp, right shoulder as she ran her fingers through my wet hair.

"This is so complicated," she whispered through sobs.

I nodded, trying not to let the emotions get the best of me too, "I know."

"And I don't understand any of it," she cried, pressing the right side of her cheek to mine.

"I don't either," I chocked out, gripping her skin tighter with my fingers.

"But I do know that I love you," she said with a nod after a few minutes.

"I love you too, Luna," I said, for the first time, officially.

"With all my heart," she sobbed.

I nodded, "me too, Angel."

We held each other for the longest time, until we almost locked together.

I didn't want to let her go.

I didn't want to face the real world.

I didn't want her to head back to Yoongi.

Because I didn't want her to go to anyone else but me.

After about an hour, when we were so water-logged that we could become sick, I lifted her out of the tub and followed behind, wrapping a towel around her body tight and rubbing her skin.

"What do we do now?" I asked, trembling in the cold.

She bent down and grabbed my towel for me, winding it around my waist.

"I don't know," she sobbed, "I don't want to hurt him."

"I know. I don't want to hurt anyone, either."

She nodded, taking a deep breath, "this is going to be really hard... for all of us."

"Yes, I know."

"But I'm going to tell him," she said, sniffling as she looked back up at me. "I have to. It's for the best."

I tensed up, not removing my eyes from hers. "Are you sure that's such a good idea? I mean, we are all here for another two weeks."

"I know," she replied, shaking her head. "I know that, Taehyung. But I have to tell him that I still love you, and I cannot be with him. This suspense is killing me."

"Okay," I whispered, bringing her into my chest so I could wrap my arms around her, "I'll be around, if you need me."

She nodded, hugging me back.

Again, we didn't let go for a long time.

Possibly fifteen minutes, since my hair became dry and her ends were dry.

Then we both took a deep breath and separated our hands on each other's biceps as we stepped back.

"I'm telling him everything, Taehyung. Tomorrow. That way there's no confusion."

"Hey," I swallowed, taking another nod as I watched her walk toward the door. "This is going to piss a lot of people off."

"I know," she said, opening the door, "but I don't regret what happened last night, not even for a second."

I smiled, blinking slowly, "I don't either... I could never regret you, Luna."

Her eyes sparkled bright, as she tilted her head at me. Then her smile grew more sincere "I'm counting on it."

-

T

he emptiness I felt as we departed ways was devastating.

I went straight to my room, collapsing onto my bed.

I scattered all the pillows around as I scooted myself up on the mattress, until I was all the way on my stomach.

I listened for sounds of them arguing, but there wasn't any.

Then I remembered her telling me she'd tell him tomorrow...

And then it'd all unfold.

But for now, I could close my eyes and bury my face into the sheets and remember every little detail like it was only a few seconds ago.

Sure, it wasn't how I would have planned it out, if I had the chance to think about it.

But it was definitely special, because it meant something.

Regardless of everything else, of all the fighting, the confusion, the other relationships, and all of the drama...

I loved her.

And she loved me.

And I could wait forever for her, now that I knew that fact.

...It's a great fucking day.

-

A/N
That was a... Alot. So they're slowly mending their hearts even though some hearts are going to be broken in the process.
Love is selfish sometimes.
Also, i started watching "Our beloved summer" and so far i love it! If you're watching it too feel free to come talk to me about it :))
Anywayyyy please let me know what you think and I'll update very soon. xo