Warning: suicide ideation near the very end. 

RAVEN STOOD before the Lockwood Mansion with Stefan at her arm, a wild flurry of thoughts spinning in her head. She wore a satin orange dress, a few silver rings, and let her hair fall loosely past her shoulders. Her heels sank in the vibrant lawn. Each blade of grass was almost symmetrical. Charming smiles painted the faces of each guest, but each smile held secrets. She should know. She could be standing beside one of them.

Gossip was never Raven's style. Sure, she was a teenager. And she was best friends with Caroline Forbes. She'd heard plenty of rumors, but she didn't just believe them. After all, people had said many things about her—it didn't mean they were true. That's why she tried to give Stefan the benefit of the doubt.

After the cemetery, she went home to get ready with Bonnie. And Bonnie had told her something. Something that had been twisting in her mind all day, wrestling between being spoken and being forgotten.

It turned out Damon had told Caroline a story. And Caroline, being the girl she is, immediately told Bonnie...who told Raven.

According to Damon, he and Stefan both dated Katherine. That much, she'd already figured out. But then came news that she hadn't known: that Katherine chose Damon. And Stefan couldn't take it so he manipulated Katherine with lies to turn her against Damon.

Raven peered at Stefan. His eyes raked the room, absorbing the surroundings. The distant melody of a small orchestra wafted past the door. Busy chatter filled every corner of the house. In true Mystic Falls fashion, the mountain lion was forgotten. The deaths of Miranda and Grayson Gilbert—the cornerstones of their small society—were forgotten. Raven's new wounds were old news.

How could this town be so heartless?

Everyone around her seemed so polished and clean. Glamor and suave replaced souls. She wondered if Stefan could be one of them—like the home of a hidden hoarder, beautiful to look at but filthy on the inside.

Stefan met her eye and smiled. She smiled back but averted his gaze.

"You okay?" He asked.

She hesitated. She didn't know the full story between Stefan and Katherine. This was her chance to ask him.

"About—"

"Raven!" Mayor Lockwood suddenly emerged, shining a pearly white grin. "Come on in!"

He ushered Raven and her date inside. Instantly, the air changed. The walls were a rustic yellow without a single scratch. Homestead furniture occupied every space. Warm lights glittered from chandeliers. Tall, vivid flowers sprouted from stone pots. Velvet curtains hung before decorated windows. Antiquated mirrors, candles, and champagne glasses gleamed everywhere. This place looked almost as old as Stefan's house.

Earlier today, the thought of attending this party with Stefan was exhilarating. But now...

Raven couldn't shake Bonnie's warnings from her head.

The black-haired girl didn't know what to believe. Bonnie wasn't one to cause trouble. And Caroline always meant well. But Damon...he must've known that Caroline was a chatterbox. He must've known that the story would get back to Raven, even if she and Caroline were on the outs. Which meant that best-case scenario, he was trying to drive a wedge between her and Stefan. Worst-case scenario, her arm was locked around a psychopath's.

Amongst the guests, Sheriff Forbes stood by the sliding glass doors, surveying the room. Even at the most boring party of all time, she was keeping an eye out for trouble.

"I'll be right back," Raven told Stefan, leaving before he could get a word in. She approached the wary sheriff, who lit up when she saw the teen. "Hi, Mrs. Forbes."

Sheriff Forbes pulled her into a brief hug. "I told you, call me Liz. We're practically family."

"Are there any updates on Ryder?"

Mrs. Forbes' smile faded. Her warm demeanor clipped into the manner of a jaded sheriff living in tragedy. She lowered her voice. "Why don't we talk about this after the party? You should have some fun, enjoy yourself."

"What did you find?" The words rushed from Raven's lips. A knot tightened in her chest at the pity written all over the blonde cop's face. It was like the funeral all over again. "How did he die?"

Sheriff Forbes could hardly meet her eyes. "It was an overdose."

Raven had thought that the confession would unravel the knot, but now it wrapped around her heart, constricting all that was left. 

That couldn't be true. Ryder sold drugs, yes. But after being admitted into the center, he was forced to stop. He'd barely touched them since, unless he was exchanging them in plastic baggies.

"Can I see his body?" Raven hated the slight crack in her voice. But right now, she couldn't ruminate on that.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Sheriff Forbes said hesitantly.

"Why?" Raven asked, sharper than she intended.

Sheriff Forbes sighed. "When he died, the mountain lion feasted on his remains."

Raven kept her expression steady.

Sheriff Forbes was lying to her face. She'd seen the body. She didn't think she could forget how gray and swollen he'd looked. But why on earth would the sheriff lie about it?

The sympathy in Mrs. Forbes' eyes deepened. She placed a hand on Raven's arm. "I'm sorry, Raven."

And with that, she was gone.

◇◇◇

Raven didn't know when or how, but she found her way at the display table in the registry. It was in an isolated wing of the Lockwood Mansion that even the orchestra couldn't reach.

She was alone with her thoughts, items from the Gilbert family line, and Ryder's death.

Her family's watch wasn't anywhere to be found. She supposed Mrs. Lockwood had it among some other collection, but at the moment, she didn't care to ask.

Silver rings locked around black polyresin hands. Before them, a small white sign read ON LOAN FROM GILBERT FAMILY: WEDDING RING.

Once upon a time, Raven thought that she would marry Ryder. Not because she was hopelessly in love with him, but because she'd been convinced that they were the only people who'd fully know each other. When Stefan came along, she'd felt...seen. Heard. Maybe even understood. The same way her parents seemed to click into place, like the universe had welded two halves whole.

But she was living in lies. Either Damon or Stefan was being dishonest. And worse, the town's protector was keeping secrets as well. Raven didn't know who to trust—and after Homecoming, when she'd thought that she saw Stefan's hand bleeding, she couldn't trust herself either.

If only Homecoming had ended at the beginning, with the beautiful pendant dangling above her chest. Then, it was a special gift. Now, it was a cold anchor weighing her down.

Delicate hands grazed her skin. 

She gasped softly, caught by surprise, but knew that touch from anywhere. Stefan came to her side, a quick smile chiseled on his face. He frowned when he saw the ring display. "Your parents?" He asked, his voice low.

She nodded and glanced at those rings again, tucking her hair behind her ear. Everyone knew the name attached, but never the faces. The voices. The small prints they left on the world. One day, all of Raven's pain would be just another grain of sand in an endless desert. She would die, just like the Gilberts before her. Nobody would remember her or Jeremy. The townspeople walked around, slinging expensive watches and ageless beauty, but they would be forgotten too.

Everything always felt like too much. It was strange thinking that one day, she'd be nothing at all. Just a name. Just a grave. Just dust beneath the ground.

"There's a lot of history here," Raven murmured. She snapped her head away, escaping the fog that invaded her head. She wandered around the room, soaking in all the other legacies and family names.

In the corner of the room, grungy and foxed paper was displayed against the wall. A list of names was sprawled neatly in blank ink, covering the entire page. There must've been dozens of names on this list. "Oh wow," She breathed. "It's the original guest registry."

Raven's eyes skimmed the paper, vocalizing each name in amazement until...

She blinked. "Does that say Damon Salvatore?"

Above his name, another glowed. Stefan Salvatore.

Alarm raced through her body. Her eyes shunted to Stefan, begging for an explanation. Panic flickered in his intense stare. She started to press him further when another voice cut through.

"The original Salvatore brothers."

She and Stefan spun to face the source.

Damon Salvatore approached her with taunting, meaningful strides. Caroline followed his pace, offering a bright smile to Stefan. She wore a short gray dress and white cardigan. A shawl covered her neck, pinned with a matching fake flower. She'd braided her hair into a cute headband. Crystal balls dangled from her ears.

She looked beautiful. Raven wanted to tell her that. But when Caroline saw her, her smile quickly vanished, and she acted as if Raven were invisible. Raven cast her eyes to the floor, then back at Damon's cocky expression, and grit her teeth.

"Our ancestors," He continued, hardly noticing. "Tragic story, actually."

"We don't need to bore them with stories of the past," Stefan said, his gaze meeting Damon's evenly. Stefan spoke with the same reservation he had at the dinner when Damon mentioned Katherine's death. Did he seriously not want Raven to know anything about him, even things that happened hundreds of years ago?

Her mind played tug-of-war between confusion and hurt. What if he really was toying with her? What if he'd just charmed his way into her life, getting to know her, but only ever meant to keep her at arm's length?

He'd sat with her in the cemetery. He'd given her that necklace. She couldn't forget the moment at the festival. She'd been so worried that she couldn't open her heart to someone else—and she couldn't. Never. But with each day, he saw another piece of her. That terrified Raven. But what almost terrified her even more? The realization that she'd never even see half of him.

Damon smiled, but it wasn't a friendly gesture. It was a challenge. That elaborate story he'd concocted of Stefan being a crazy ex-boyfriend had to be another one of his games. But Raven couldn't ignore how private Stefan was. He didn't even want to talk about his family's history. What else could he be hiding? What was lurking beneath his secret half?

"It's not boring," She spoke up. Stefan looked at her. "I'd love to hear more about your family." He already knew so much about hers.

Stefan turned back to his brother, who smiled like he'd won the lottery and was trying to hide it. It was one of those arrogant smiles, like he knew the universe's secrets, and was amused that everyone else walked around clueless. Before Damon could elaborate any further, Caroline piped in. "Well I'm bored," She said. "I wanna dance. And Damon won't dance with me."

Damon shook his head. "Mm-mm."

Raven's smile turned testy. "That's not very gentleman-like of you," She said. His gaze turned to her. He wasn't offended at all, simply entertained. She wished he would choke on that amusement. "You won't even dance with your date?"

Without missing a beat, Caroline said "Can I just...borrow your date?"

The question seemed innocent enough. Raven had no claim over Stefan. The two of them were just friends.

But Raven knew Caroline. Everything she did had purpose—even if it was petty, she knew better than to underestimate the peppy blonde. If she was trying to steal Stefan from her, she couldn't. Because he wasn't Raven's. She and Stefan had made sure of that. But her heart clenched at the thought of them dancing. Would he hold Caroline close, rest his hand on her back the same way he'd done to her? Would they make excruciatingly intimate eye contact like they'd seen each other's beauty for the first time?

Of course not. Raven was being ridiculous—and even if she wasn't, why should she care? She couldn't be in a relationship. Holly had already told her that several times and she was right. Her therapist had unmatched intuition, the kind that would make Raven think she was psychic.

Besides, Stefan was so awkward and uncomfortable with human contact. Even if Raven's nerves were slightly grated by the request, she was more concerned about his well-being.

Stefan forced a chuckle, shaking his head. "I don't really dance."

"Sure he does," Damon intervened in that mock-charming way. "You should see him. The waltz, the jitterbug, the moonwalk. He does it all."

Raven faked a smile, sensing that she'd been backed into a corner. She was already struggling with Caroline. She didn't know if this was some twisted way of her friend getting revenge, but she decided to let her have it. "It's up to Stefan," Raven said simply, eye twitching, but a minuscule part of her secretly hoped that he would protest.

Unfortunately, he didn't. Caroline reached for his arm, grinning. "Well sorry, but I'm not going to take no for an answer."

As she pulled him away, Stefan glanced at the artist, his eyes shouting "Save me" Raven mouthed a small "Sorry" and watched as he and Caroline weaved through the crowd outside of the room. Damon watched them go as well, unnerving satisfaction plastered on his ridiculously handsome features. Definitely a hoarder, She thought as he faced her once more.

She'd been weak at the homecoming game. Running from the chaos, desperately searching for an escape. So desperate that she accepted one from Damon of all people. But now she wanted answers.

She opened her mouth to speak, but he beat her to the punch.

"I want to apologize to you for..." He sighed. "Being such a world-class jerk. The other night when I tried to kiss you—there was no excuse. My therapist says I'm...acting out, trying to punish Stefan."

Raven narrowed her eyes. That did sound very therapist-like, like something Holly would say. But he'd disarmed her before. "For what?"

"It's all in the past. I don't even wanna bring it up."

There it was. The classic Damon move: I'm going to keep bringing it up to get into your head, but then I'll pull back to maintain intrigue. She wondered what else was in the Damon Salvatore playbook. Did it include tears? She couldn't imagine someone like him crying, even if it was a tactic.

Then again, he'd lost Katherine. He must've cried then. The image of him mourning Katherine, tears falling from those strikingly blue eyes, shook her resolve. Sometimes, Raven looked at him...and she swore she could see an actual human being.

Not just Caroline's shitty boy toy or Stefan's shitty brother, but a person beneath the mask he'd carved for himself. A person who loved and lost, who laughed and cried. But then he'd look at her the way a fox eyes his prey, and the mask concealed him further.

"Let's just say that the men in the Salvatore family have been cursed with sibling rivalry." Damon tossed his index finger up, lazily pointing to the original guest registry. "It all started with the original Salvatore brothers. In the battle of Willow Creek."

Raven pursed her lips. She'd briefly learned about it in history class. Back when Mr. Tanner was alive...before that vampire, whoever they were, tore his life away from him.

The story was simple: In the 1800s, during the height of the Civil War, confederate soldiers fired on a church with civilians inside. It was one of their most shocking displays of violence, but it didn't end there.

"What the history books left out..." Damon continued, leading her to another display near the door. A small wooden building painted white, modeled after the church. "...Was that the people who were killed, they weren't there by accident. They were believed to be unit sympathizers. Some of the founders on the confederacy side back then wanted them rounded up and burned alive."

Raven followed the older Salvatore brother to the model church. She lived in a southern state of America. Even if nobody liked to reminisce, these grounds were soaked with blood. Everyone loved to idealize the founders and their legacies, but many of them were unclean. Hearing that they wanted to keep slavery and were willing to massacre anyone with a sliver of humanity wasn't surprising. And any treasure built on the blood of innocents was not a treasure worth carrying, even if it was worth trillions. Raven couldn't help but wonder what side her ancestors were on.

Damon's eyes wandered to the red doors of the church. A sharp cross was perched on a gray tiled roof. He looked beneath it. But it seemed to stand above his shoulder, inescapable. "Stefan and Damon had someone they loved in that church."

His voice adopted a delicate edge. As he told the story of his ancestors, he almost sounded like he had at the dinner—impure motives, but a sincerity that Raven instinctively gravitated toward. Maybe it was his way with words. Maybe it was that he believed he spoke with emptiness, but she could feel the emotions drip from each syllable.

"And when they went to rescue them, they were shot." Raven swallowed hard. Leaving the church, his eyes found hers. "Murdered in cold blood."

An involuntary chill passed through her body. Murder. Blood. Ryder. Tanner.

Her breath caught in her throat.

Robert.

She stiffened. No. She couldn't do this. Not now. Not in the middle of this party, surrounded by importance. Not in front of Damon, who'd already unraveled her before.

He regarded her with curiosity, intrigue shooting from sparks of duplicity. Suddenly, the two of them had equal footing on shaky ground. She had questions about him...but he had questions about her too. Whatever she did, she couldn't let him get those answers.

So Raven shattered the silence, using her words as a life vest. "Who was in the church that they wanted to save?"

"A woman, I guess." His eyes held an intensity, like he was trying to gauge her response. "Doesn't it always come down to the love of a woman?"

He tilted his head, as if trying to ask if she understood. Raven scoffed quietly. Of course. This was another one of his sick twisted mind games....right?

"Look..." She began, stepping closer. People put distance between things that they feared. She wasn't afraid of him. He needed to know that. "I'm sorry that you and Stefan have this thing between you but I can't get in the middle of it, Damon. I just...hope you two can work it out."

"I hope so too," He whispered. Her frown softened. Either he was really good at playing this game...or he was ready to get benched.

She knew what it was like. Constantly fighting with her younger brother, hoping for reconciliation, but knowing that it was probably impossible. Sometimes the conflict seemed easier than the resolution.

Occasionally, the thought of leaving Jeremy alone drifted in her head like a feather in the wind. She tried pushing him away from his grief, but it only pushed him away from her. Would he be better off if she left him to his troubles and let him pull himself out when he was ready? Did she have it in her? To abandon him? To be his #1 enemy if it meant that he could save himself?

The thought of them becoming like Stefan and Damon tore her apart.

"We should find the others," Raven said, realizing that she'd been staring at Damon this entire time. A minute longer and Stefan might pass out from interacting with Caroline for too long.

He held out his hand. She hesitantly accepted, reminding herself that this wouldn't be another homecoming situation, and beelined for the door.

◇◇◇

"What'd we miss?" Damon asked as he and Raven joined Stefan and Caroline at a refreshments table outside. Their arms were no longer linked. She'd made sure of that, ensuring that Damon wouldn't use it as ammo against Stefan. 

Bright lights strung across the gazebo. The sun had long dipped beneath the horizon, and the distant moon took its place.

"We were just chatting," The golden-haired Salvatore answered casually. He raised a glass of champagne toward his brother.

Damon stared at the glass with razor-sharp focus, as if it'd been doused with poison. "No, thanks. I'll pass."

Raven didn't miss the way his jaw tightened. How dysfunctional was this family that they couldn't even accept drinks from each other without getting upset?

If what Damon had said was true—if he truly wanted to resolve his issues with Stefan—why was he so...stiff? Why did he seem to care so little? Was it possible that Stefan really had done everything that Damon said he did? Had he run because of shame, trying to forget his past, but Damon returned to taunt him with memories?

Raven hated to admit it, but it made sense. And just because Stefan had been terrible back then didn't mean he was terrible now.

Unless this was all a hoax...but why befriend her of all people? Was it because of her chance meeting in front of the bathroom? Did he perceive this as a sign that she could be his new target?

She drew a breath. She didn't even know the whole story. It was easy to accuse, hard to trust. But if trusting Stefan meant that she could get closer to him—and by extension, the truth—she wouldn't pass this up.

"Wanna dance?" Raven offered. She raised her eyebrows, giving him an exit.

Stefan smiled. "Absolutely."

The lack of hesitation did something to her. When he took her hand, sparks raced up her arm.

He guided her to the center of the gazebo. She was enveloped by dancers, but when he brought his hand to her back, nudging her toward him, it was only his touch that matter.

The light seemed to fall around her, like an invisible umbrella was suspended in the air. Her heartbeat drowned the sounds of music, laughter, and scattered conversations.

Raven lifted her arms around his neck like she'd seen the other women do. She hadn't taken the time to digest his suit. On the way to the party, she'd been so wrapped in her worries and doubt. But now...his electric touch melted all of that away.

It felt so good to just...breathe.

"Stefan..." She cleared her throat. "There's a chance I might step on your toes."

"Is that why you wanted to dance?" He asked teasingly. "Revenge?"

A smile spread across her face. "You looked like you could use a getaway."

"Mm, is that what you are? My getaway driver?"

"Among other things," She giggled. His smile glowed brighter than the lights surrounding them. Stars swirled in his bluish-green eyes, which bore into her own eyes with a quiet hunger, as if he wanted to memorize every detail.

"Don't worry," Stefan whispered, pulling her closer. "Just follow my lead."

She swayed side-to-side, letting him guide her. Her mother had tried to teach her dancing lessons for events like these, but Raven couldn't be bothered to learn. Now she wished she'd paid attention, the same way she had to her father's diagnoses.

But with each turn, Stefan burned every shred of guilt. Suddenly, not knowing didn't bother Raven. Because it meant that she could learn...and she couldn't think of anyone better to learn with.

Holly had told her not to get this close. To anyone. Especially not to a stranger she'd met in the cemetery. But how could a stranger hold this much of her heart? How could a stranger see so deeply through the wall of clouded mirrors she'd set before her? How could a stranger's touch feel like a live wire, sparking and exhilarating, giving her a rush of danger and excitement all at once? How could a stranger's arms feel so wrong but so right?

Raven should've pushed him away.

She should've stepped on his toe or created some distance.

But she lost herself in the rhythm of their bodies, pushing and pulling, turning and swaying. His eyes seemed deeper than ever. They pulled her in like a magnet, leaving her no choice but to succumb.

She'd never been so glad to be so powerless.

"I, uh..." Stefan's voice was soft, barely breaking through the mist he'd left in her head. "I hope Damon didn't drive you too crazy."

The words took a moment to process. She hummed. Damon. Right. That was part of the reason she'd wanted to dance. She wanted answers. Needed.

Raven shook her head. She had to get a hold of herself.

"No, actually..." She replied. "He apologized and explained why he is the way he is...said it went back to Katherine."

Holding her breath, she studied his reaction. "Hm," He said thoughtfully. He offered a shaky smile, nothing more, and twirled her around.

Raven frowned. She didn't think she'd ever met someone so stubbornly reserved. It should've comforted her—finding someone so similar to herself. But this particular resemblance sent a chill down her spine.

"Why don't you tell me about her?" Raven asked, rubbing his shoulder. Tragedy and secrets—the two things that connected them. No matter the circumstances, he knew the stench of grief, how it stuck. Even holy water couldn't rinse it off.

Raven didn't want to know everything about him. She didn't want him to know everything about her. She only wanted to wipe one foggy lens clean, to see through the walls he'd boarded up. To see enough to know that he could be trusted; that she hadn't been so stupid that she'd pour her heart into him, just for him to rip it out.

Was he the Stefan Salvatore you'd grown to care for beyond belief?

Or was he another Dr. Blake?

"What happened?" She pressed, her voice rising slightly, but never abandoning its tenderness.

Stefan glanced away, breaking their mutual hold. "It's not something I like to talk about."

She understood. She did. If someone asked her about the trauma center, she'd lose all motion in her limbs.

But the center...that was different. She wasn't a danger. Not anymore. And not to the ones she loved. But all of these details—manipulation, death, secrets that Stefan guarded like a lifeline...she needed to know if he posed a threat. And if so, how big?

He may not have know all of Raven's trauma. But at least he knew her. Could she say the same for him?

"I get that," She said. "I just want you to know that you can. I mean, I burden you with all of my drama, and I want you to do the same."

Stefan nodded. "I know. Thank you."

Pieces of a picture snapped in place. Raven imagined a scenario in which Stefan wasn't a monster or master manipulator, but a victim. A boy who'd lost his parents, and then the girl he loved twice—once to his brother, once to death. The grief must've swallowed him whole. But he tucked that pain from sight, keeping it only to himself. He didn't let anyone in. All he had was you.

That was no way to live.

A part of her hoped that he was the bad guy after all. She could live with that...but she couldn't live with the thought of him being alone.

"The truth is..." Her heart hammered in her chest. It was time for answers. Now or never. She allowed the words to flow before she changed her mind. "I don't really know that much about you and I would really love if you opened up to me."

The gears in his head seemed to turn when he looked at her. Suddenly, she wasn't Raven. She was a challenge.

He stopped in his tracks. She followed abruptly, then staggered back under his scrutinizing gaze. "Damon said something to you, didn't he?" His tone was taut with accusation. Not toward her, but it stung nonetheless. Could he really not see that she was scared for him? Couldn't he see that the fragmented identity he presented hurt like shards of glass under her bare feet? "He likes to play games and cause trouble, Raven."

"This isn't about Damon," She insisted. "This is about you. Getting to know you. Look, you're the mystery guy. And I like that. But with mystery comes secrets...and this thing with Katherine–"

"Let it go," He said sharply. "I...I don't want to talk about it."

His words cut deep. Raven could barely control the hurt on her face, but it flashed to anger in an instant.

"I know your favorite color," She said, trying to keep her voice steady. "And your taste in music. I know that you like to read and write but...I don't know you." His gaze darted to her and away. "I don't know your hopes and dreams for the future. I don't know who you want to be, what keeps you up at night, why you're the way that you are. If you lost someone that you loved...or if you hurt her."

He tensed. But Raven continued. "And I know that we just met but if you don't tell me anything, all I have is what other people tell me. And they're not good things, Stefan. I don't want to see you that way. So please. Tell me something about you—anything."

"Don't you see what Damon has done here?" Stefan asked. Raven scoffed. Damon, Damon, Damon. Why did it always have to be about Damon? Why had he only hung onto the trail his brother had left behind, but not the pain accompanying her words? "He's trying to get you to turn against me."

She shifted her gaze to the refreshments table. Damon was long gone, as was Caroline. But there were still plenty of drinks to drown in. "Well then," She snapped, looking at the younger Salvatore. "I guess it's working."

She stormed past him without another word, not noticing that Damon stood several feet away, watching her with a smile.

◇◇◇

After the ordeal with Stefan, even a drink couldn't help Raven. Or five. 

She'd spoken to Bonnie, who felt awful for "planting seeds of doubt" as she'd called it, but it wasn't her fault. The conversation would've happened eventually, even without Bonnie's intervention. Plus, Raven couldn't fault her for trying to help a friend.

Mrs. Lockwood had interrupted her lament session, asking about her family's watch. Apparently, it'd been missing from the collection. Raven had one guess as to why that could be, but she was in no mood to jump from one argument to another.

She did the first thing she could think of: find a private place (which, in this case was the powder room) and dial Holly's number.

During the homecoming game, Holly was nowhere to be found. Raven had only spoken to her once since and she apologized profusely, promising that next time she'd be available. Raven decided to put that vow to the test.

Three rings later, Holly picked up. Raven immediately spilled her guts to her. The red-haired therapist offered her advice—something about overextending herself, anchoring herself instead of relying on others, and not being hypocritical.

Raven tried to listen but her brain refused. This wasn't just about vulnerability. It was about trust. Damon had already proved that he was bitter and disloyal but people were multi-faceted. Stefan had proven that he had secrets...and Damon knew Stefan far better than she did.

The door creaked open. Heels clacked against the polished floors. Raven muttered a quick thanks and goodbye, then hung up. She shoved her phone into her purse, wheeling her gaze to the door. Caroline looked at her sparingly, then headed for the mirror. Raven braced herself.

For the first time, the two of them were alone. This could be her chance.

"Look, Care—"

"I'm not talking to you," Caroline sneered, not even giving her a chance to make amends.

"I just want to apologize." Raven sighed. "You were right. I should've called or explained. I'm so sorry for abandoning you."

Her eyes pricked with tears. Tonight had been an emotional rollercoaster, but this conversation with Caroline had been the most wild and nauseating.

Caroline already had abandonment issues because of her dad. He'd discovered himself—but at the cost of his family. He got married and left the most important girls in his life behind.

Raven still remembered the day Caroline had come to learn he was gone, leaving nothing but a clumsy apology and divorce papers on the kitchen table. He'd still called Caroline every now and then, invited her to stay with him and his husband during the summers. But she knew that fracture could never be healed. He'd done the unforgivable. And so had Raven.

"I don't deserve you," She went on. Caroline leaned toward the mirror, applying lip gloss, pretending not to care. But she could see the tension in her shoulders. The brief moment her eyes shuttered with regret. "Caroline, you're amazing. Okay? You—"

Raven froze.

Her mouth hung open. "What the hell is that?"

"What?" Caroline followed her gaze. A red mark punctured her neck. It was deep, surrounded by dried blood. Raven pulled the scarf from her neck. Caroline slapped her hand away, but the damage was done. A long, jagged bruise went down the blonde's neck, like a wild animal had ravaged her repeatedly.

"Nothing, okay?!" She snatched her scarf away and hastily tied it on.

Horror gripped Raven. "That's not nothing!" She shouted. The image of that scar was ingrained in her mind. Even while dealing with vampires, she hadn't seen anything quite like that. "Did somebody hurt you?"

"No! Okay? It's nothing." Strained laughter followed her admission. She took a deep shaky breath and returned to her tube of lip gloss. "It's just...my mom would kill me."

Raven stared at her friend's sweater. She hadn't noticed it before but...the purple mark beneath the white holey cardigan stuck out like a torch in the darkness. She didn't give Caroline the chance to protest. She tore the sweater down. Another bruise stared at her. But it wasn't like the other one. It was a...bite mark?

Raven's heart pounded in her chest. "Did Damon hurt you?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

"No! O-of course not!" Caroline stammered. Raven reached for her again, but she jolted back. "God, just stay away from me, Raven!"

She pulled her cardigan over her skin and stormed away. Raven's skin was red-hot. Caroline hadn't started wearing those scarves until she met Damon. That couldn't be a coincidence. What else had he done to her? Her stomach capsized at the thought of him hurting her precious friend.

She felt like such a fool. Every time she thought she'd seen a spark of humanity in him, she was acquainted with his current of sin.

He distracted her again. This whole time, he was turning her attention toward Stefan—when really, she should've been focused on Caroline.

Raven clenched her teeth and charged for the door. He may have scored another point. But the games were officially other.

◇◇◇

Raven found Damon relaxing under a gazebo, not a single care in the world. She wanted to grab him by the throat and squeeze until he saw stars.

When he saw her, he smiled smugly. She seized him by the collar and shoved him into the gazebo's posts, hoping he cracked something. A glimpse of shock rattled his mask.

"There is something seriously wrong with you!" She hissed. A few of the guests began to stare and whisper, but Raven could barely hear them above the angry thoughts droning in her head. In his face, every trace of arrogance was gone. "You stay away from Caroline or I will get straight to her mother! The sheriff. You got it?" She shoved him again for good measure. "Stay away from her!"

She spun on her heel and stomped to the waterfront. 

Stefan stood at the edge of the lake, his hands in his pockets, staring ahead at the emptiness.

"Stefan!" She called. He slowly turned around. Her heel plunged into the ground with each step but she didn't care.

If Stefan decided to never open up to her, that was his prerogative. Raven couldn't trust Damon. And maybe she couldn't trust Stefan either. But she would let that be her decision. She was no longer a pawn in Damon's games, and neither was Caroline.

"You were right!" Raven huffed, so wound in her rage that she couldn't catch a breath. "I'm sorry. I take it all back. Damon is an evil prick and I never should've listened to him."

"What did he do?" Stefan asked, frowning.

"There were bruises all over Caroline's body!" She exclaimed. That nauseating scene would never leave her. "Bite marks! And he has her all confused and messed up in the head like—like some kind of Stockholm syndrome! And—" She took in his expression. It hadn't changed at all. Fury molded into realization. "Why don't you look surprised?"

"Um..." He blinked. "I'm handling it."

Raven couldn't believe her ears. "Handling it?" She repeated. "He should be arrested! How could you? How could you let him hang around my best friend knowing what he's capable of?"

"Raven..." His voice trailed off, like he was sifting his brain for the right words to say. "P-please. I...I don't expect you to understand."

He grabbed her hand, trying to calm her, but she yanked away from his touch. "Understand what?" She snarled, nails digging in a closed fist. "That you're a liar? That your secrets put my friends in danger?"

"Look. There are things that you don't know. Okay?" He was deathly serious. But she was sick of the excuses and lies. She needed an explanation. Soon. Otherwise, she might be the one to end up in jail instead of Damon. "Things that I want to tell you but I can't. And I may never be able to. And I just need you to trust me."

Trust?

Trust?!

"What the fuck do you think I've been doing?!" Raven screamed, unable to take this anymore. God, she had been so stupid. All this time, she'd been torn between trusting Damon and Stefan. Now the answer was clear. Neither of them were worthy.

Stefan looked away. A second passed...and his eyes widened. "I'm so sorry," He whispered. "I have to go."

He brushed past her, sparing her an apologetic glance.

Just like that, she was a memory. Her anger was forgotten, swept to the side, as another priority took place. She didn't even turn to see what had grabbed his attention. She was so angry she could scream.

This was a mistake. All of it—befriending Stefan, inviting him to this stupid party in a moment of weakness, not ripping Caroline from Damon's grasp sooner.

Why did she think she could handle this? Having friends? Helping her brother? Being something other than this stupid, damaged girl?

Her heavy gaze meandered along the lake. Moonlight reflected off its inky surface.

She could end this. She had alcohol in her system—the guests had seen her outburst. If she stepped into the lake now, everyone would think it was an accidental drowning.

Jeremy wouldn't hate her anymore. Stefan wouldn't pin her down with his lies. Caroline would have Bonnie to be her voice of reason. They would lean on each other. Sheriff Forbes would destroy Damon in an instant.

This could all be over.

One step.

One step and this nightmare would end.

Raven would never learn who killed Ryder or Mr. Tanner.

She would never discover what Sheriff Forbes was hiding.

She'd become a memory. A distant, floating memory.

Only this pendant to remember her by.

She stepped toward the edge of the lake.

Cold water rushed between her toes. She jolted awake, breath catching in her throat. What the hell was she doing? Did she just—

"Raven?"

She slowly turned around. Bonnie gaped at her, tears glistening in her eyes. "Let's go home."

Raven nodded, having no strength to argue. If Bonnie had realized what she was going to do, she didn't say anything. She simply looped her arm around Raven's and followed the lights hanging in the courtyard.

Many guests had gone. Raven must've been standing on the lake for a while. It was probably past midnight. She explained everything to Bonnie—how Stefan's silence went beyond manipulation, and how Caroline had become collateral damage in the feud between him and his brother. By the time she finished speaking, Bonnie was as angry as Raven was.

"I'm calling Caroline," She decided, eyes blazing. She fumbled through her purse for her phone. Raven listened to the dials, mindlessly strolling through the lawn. Her eyes roamed the yard, searching for something, anything to anchor to. And that's when she saw her.

Caroline stood a several feet away, her back facing Raven but her outfit unmistakable. Her sweater was smudged with dirt. Wet grass clung to her radiant skin. Her beautiful braided headband was completely disheveled.

"Caroline?" Raven whimpered. Caroline didn't move an inch. Without a word, Raven and Bonnie stumbled to her side. "Bonnie's been calling you! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," She said, her voice breaking. She trembled like a leaf. Her chest rose and fell like she was struggling to breathe.

"Caroline, what happened?"

"I'm fine," She repeated, the same brokenness, like if she said it enough times, eventually it would ring true. She breathed in and out until she was hyperventilating, her words a flimsy string holding her together.

Bonnie looked at Raven, concern written all over her face.

"You're shaking," Raven murmured, reaching for Caroline's arm. This time, she didn't pull away. "Caroline, what..." She continued to gasp, choking on her rising tears. Raven pulled her into a hug.

"I'm fine!" She shouted. Bonnie wrapped her arms around her friends. Caroline broke into sobs. Her broken cries echoed through the night, rippling through the lake where Raven had tried to end things.

Shame burned in her chest. Caroline was going through hell—and she was just going to leave her again, permanently.

Never again. Raven had to stay. She knew what it was like to be left behind, to wonder what she could've done differently, anything to reduce the guilt that buried her alive.

If she wasn't going to live for herself, she had to live for her. For Bonnie. For Jeremy. For Jenna.

And for answers.

There were monsters in Mystic Falls. One was a vampire. One was Damon Salvatore.

And Raven was going to stop them both if it was the last thing she did. 

--- 

So sorry for the late update! Today was a busy week. 

I celebrated my birthday over the weekend so that was fun. And work drained me so I was pretty tired. Then when I thought things couldn't get anymore tight, I got sick! I've been fighting an illness for the past 5 days, taking cough drops and mucinex and nasal sprays. When I'm not working, I've just been sleeping tbh. I'm almost over my sickness and I have work in the morning (it's currently 11pm) but I thought I'd release this chapter before I went to bed. There's a chance that this has a million editing errors so I'll go over it tomorrow evening.

I hope you guys enjoyed and remember that I'm always open to hearing your thoughts, good and bad. As always, thanks for reading!