"SURPRISE!"

When Raven saw who was on her front steps, suddenly she wished it was Sheriff Forbes. Because standing in front of her was the sheriff's daughter, in a sleeveless olive green dress, a scarf draped around her neck, and a red velvet cake in her hands...and behind her was Damon Salvatore. Multiple replies ran through Raven's head, ranging from "What the hell?" and "What the fuck is he doing here?" and "Why are you at my house?"

But the only words that came were "Uh...what?"

"Bonnie said you were doing dinner, so we brought dessert!"

"Hope you don't mind," Damon added. Before Raven could say that she did, in fact, mind, Caroline strutted inside.

"Um- okay, you can just...put the cake on the counter!"

Even though she and Damon had completely crashed her plans, Raven found it hard to be annoyed when she'd ghosted her for an entire summer.

"What are you doing here?"

Raven jumped. She hadn't even heard Stefan coming, but now he was standing at her side, looking oddly alarmed. Damon stepped toward the threshold, staring his brother in the eye. "Waiting for Raven to invite me in."

Damon looked at her expectantly. She smiled uneasily. "Sure—"

"No, no, no," Stefan quickly interrupted. "He can't stay." Her smile faded. He looked like he was one head-shake away from getting an aneurysm. Raven furrowed her eyebrows as he met his brother's eyes. "Can you, Damon?"

Locked between them, she felt an odd rush deja vu. Something was happening here. A dangerous game between the two of them, and she had a feeling that Damon was used to scoring. She wanted to know his angle, to show Stefan that he had no reason to be nervous. She could play games too.

Forcing another smile, Raven grabbed Stefan's arm. His confused eyes met her calculating ones. "It's alright," She murmured. She turned to Damon and cleared her throat. "Come inside, Damon. The more the merrier."

Raven moved aside. Damon stepped past her. He stopped, taking a look around, and turned. "You have a beautiful home, Raven." As she thanked him, he gave Stefan a smug look. Stefan's jaw tightened. Raven winked at him, offering a mischievous smile. Damon didn't know it, but now it was two versus one.

His eyes met hers again, this time almost tauntingly. "I bet being away from it was difficult."

She blinked. "What?"

Damon frowned, as if not understanding the impact of his words. "Caroline mentioned that you...disappeared this summer." Raven hated the way he said it, the way his eyes seemed to pierce hers, and his taunting smile, like he could uncover all of her secrets with a single look.

Secrets. A surge of memories flooded her mind. White halls, white floors, white gowns, white teeth all turning red. Shavings of wood dusting the floor. A glass slipping from her hand, bloodthirsty eyes unraveling the quiet presence she'd tried so hard to keep.

"Raven," Stefan said softly. She blinked out of her trance. Tears stung her eyes, as if she'd stared at the sun for sixty seconds. Questions and concern stirred in his eyes but she smiled warmly as if nothing had happened.

"Looks like the party's in the living room," She said, noting Caroline's laughter from the next room. "I'll clear the table and meet you there."

Before Stefan could protest, Raven made her way to the kitchen table. She grabbed each plate carefully, listening carefully for footsteps. When she was sure that the Salvatore brothers left, she placed the plates in the sink and took a deep breath. You're safe now.

"I'm safe now," She whispered. Then she sighed. One point for Damon Salvatore.

◇◇◇

Raven almost dreaded joining her guests. Third-wheeling was bad enough but fifth-wheeling?

Besides, with Caroline here, the opportunity for Stefan and Bonnie to quietly bond was thrown completely out of the window. 

While Raven sat a little too close to Stefan (when did the couch become so small?), Damon and Caroline practically snuggled in the chair to her left. Bonnie sat comfortably across from them, sipping her cola.

The blonde cheerleader went on and on about different topics—future events, school drama, the ever-rampant rumor mill in Mystic Falls. Damon was only making it worse. She'd never seen Stefan so tense. When Mr. Tanner and Tyler Lockwood were on his back, he shook them off with ease. But something about his brother sent him completely on edge. Raven tried not to let it worry her—it was his family business, after all. But she couldn't ignore how his jaw clenched, how he was incredibly quiet even for himself, and how his entire body locked with tension.

She wanted to reach for his hand...but Caroline's eyes were everywhere. She was already in speculating mode—if Raven did anything remotely affectionate, the rumors and elation would spin out of control.

"Raven, didn't you use to date Tyler?" Caroline asked sweetly. All eyes turned to her. 

You cleared your throat. Stefan's gaze was thick and expectant. You didn't want to imagine Damon's mocking expression. "I wouldn't say we dated." You sipped your drink coolly.

"But you banged, right?"

Raven choked on her drink. Damon peered at her, amused. Bonnie laughed awkwardly. "Caroline, that's not..."

"What? I'm only asking. Raven doesn't mind. Do you, Raven?"

Raven kept her eyes on Caroline, her lips stretched in a neutral line. "We kissed. One time. I barely remember it. I guess he didn't leave much of an impression."

"Hm." Caroline nodded thoughtfully.

Bonnie's eyes darted between  her friends. She forced a smile. "Hey, Caroline, did you hear about Stefan making the team?"

Caroline's eyes lit up at a new opportunity to gossip. 

"I cannot believe that Mr. Tanner let you on the team," The perky blonde babbled excitedly. Between Stefan's stress and Raven's small incident, it was getting increasingly harder to focus. Why couldn't her glass be filled with wine instead of coke? "Oh, Tyler must be seething." Caroline chuckled, as if imagining the look on his face. "But good for you. Go for it."

"That's what I always tell him," Damon interjected. "You have to engage. You can't just sit there and wait for life to come to you. You have to go get it."

Stefan looked like he was going to go get a shotgun and show Damon who's boss.

"Yeah, Raven wasn't so lucky today," Caroline said semi-sadly. Raven wondered how on earth this conversation came to her and she hoped it would pass quickly. But when Caroline looked at her, the hope slowly dwindled. "It's only because you missed summer camp. God, I don't know how you're ever going to learn the routines."

"I'll work with her," Bonnie offered, trying to take the heat off of her friend. "She'll get it."

Raven gave her a grateful smile. But Caroline didn't seem to get the memo. She tapped her finger on her chin, thinking. "I guess we'll put her in the back..."

Of all the terrible things that had happened this year, failing at cheerleading wasn't exactly Raven's #1 tragedy. She couldn't even really bring herself to care about the sport, but after leaving Caroline all summer with zero explanation, she couldn't just quit the one interest they both shared. Cheerleading was Caroline's life. Even if it was slowly becoming Raven's Hell...she deserved it. Which made it all the worse when Damon commented "Hey, you don't—you don't seem like the cheerleader type, Raven."

"Oh, it's just 'cause her parents died," Caroline replied. Raven froze. She had just mentioned the worst thing that'd ever happened to Raven as if it was the easiest thing in the world. "Yeah. I mean....she's just totally going through a blah phase. She used to be way more fun."

And just like that, Raven's heart cracked into two. "I'm sorry that my parents dying is such an inconvenience for you," She snapped. 

Her mind buzzed with simmering rage. Her heart thrummed so slowly in her chest, if she hadn't been clearly alive, she would think that it stopped. Caroline opened her mouth to apologize—and maybe she did, but Raven had looked away so quickly, her senses clouded with anger that she wasn't sure. And to be honest, she didn't care.

A hand slipped into hers, squeezing gently. Cold metal touched her finger. Stefan's ring.

"I'm sorry Raven," Damon said sympathetically, but his tone was so insincere, she couldn't help but look at him with disbelief. "I know what it's like to lose both your parents. In fact, Stefan and I have watched almost every single person we've ever cared about die."

"We don't have to get into that right now, Damon." As Stefan spoke, his hand tightened around hers. Raven didn't think he even realized.

Damien sighed innocently. "You know what? You're right, Stefan, I'm sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was bring her up." He chuckled and forced a tight smile as if to say silly me for making that mistake.

The wheels turned in Raven's head. Her. Katherine. She released Stefan's hand without even realizing. Katherine wasn't just some ex-girlfriend...she was his late ex-girlfriend. Even if she'd broken his heart, losing her couldn't have been easy. Raven remembered the look on his face the first time she'd mentioned her name.

She wondered who else he'd lost. No wonder he was so reserved. All that pain he was carrying...

"It was a long time ago," Stefan whispered after a moment of silence. That's also what he'd said at the festival, as if time healed all wounds.

Raven nodded slowly. She wished she could read him. Was he angry? Sad? Hurt? Did he even see Katherine's death as a loss? Had he ever? All she knew was that she didn't want to be another wound he'd come to avoid. 

"I'm thirsty," Bonnie suddenly announced. "Does anyone want a refill?"

A round of no's scattered across the room. Stefan gave her a small thankful smile. It looked like Operation Bond Stefan and Bonnie was a success.

"That's fine," Raven said, rising to her feet. "I should be going to bed soon anyway. You guys can talk while I wash dishes."

She'd had enough tension, rumors, and sadness for one night. Breathing alone didn't sound too bad.

But somehow, the kitchen seemed...lonely. The last time she'd had this many people over, laughing over food and drinks...was the night her parents died. Family game night with Jenna. When Jeremy wasn't an addict. Jenna wasn't always frazzled. Of course,  Uncle John hadn't been able to make it as usual. But in her small, happy family, it never felt like anything was missing.

Scrubbing the dishes, Raven could almost hear the way her mother giggled at her father's stupid jokes. She wished she could reach into her own head and bury her brain in dishwater, scrubbing it clean of all these taunting memories. Memories reminding her of what she'd never have again.

The glass she'd sipped cola from seemed especially fragile in her grasp. Her mother used to use them for every meal because they were "classy." Even though it was kind of ridiculous, Miranda had insisted that Raven and Jeremy deserved the best. Jenna seemed to prefer plastic. Plastic cups meant fewer accidents and fewer memories.

"Hey," A deep voice called out. Raven stiffened immediately. "Sorry. Did I startle you?"

"A little," She admitted.

"One more," Damon announced, holding up a glass.

"Oh. Thank you." She reached a soapy hand for the glass, but her grip wasn't as tight as she expected—as soon as it made contact, the glass slipped through her hand. She gasped quietly, scrambling to catch it, but Damon was quicker. The glass landed perfectly in his hand. She sighed with relief, an airy laugh escaping her lips. "Nice save."

He held the glass to her. She gently reached for it, and accidentally brushed her fingers against his. They rose slightly, almost like her touch had awakened them.

"I like you," Damon remarked teasingly as Raven returned to washing dishes. "You know how to laugh."

She scoffed, though for the first time that night, she could stand his presence. "Thank you. It's one of my many hidden talents."

"And you make Stefan smile," Damon added, joining her by the sink. He turned on the faucet and started to rinse the dishes. "Which is something I haven't seen in a very long time."

"You mean since Katherine?" She asked hesitantly. He nodded. "I...didn't realize that she died. I assumed they just—"

"Broke up?" He finished. "If only it were that simple."

"How did she die?" Raven asked, then realized how tasteless that might seem. "If you don't mind me asking."

"Fire," Damon replied flatly. "Tragic fire."

"Recently?" She hoped she wasn't pushing his boundaries.

"Well it seems like yesterday."

Raven paused, instantly forgetting her chore. That was the most sincere thing he'd said since they'd met. She nodded and glanced away, suddenly feeling like she saw too much. Still, she wanted to hear more. This Katherine person seemed important to Stefan. If she was going to understand him, she wanted to know exactly how forbidden this topic was. "What was she like?"

Damon's eyes wandered away. He took only a moment to think, before looking back at her. "She was beautiful," He decided. "A lot like you in that department." Raven forced a smile. Somehow, hearing him talk about his brother's dead ex-girlfriend made it feel kind of rude to roll her eyes. "She was just very complicated. And selfish. And at times, not very kind." She bit her lip. That sounded uncomfortably familiar. "But very sexy and seductive." Okay, that didn't sound familiar.

Raven went back to washing the very last dish, a golden plate. She couldn't help but notice that while Damon was speaking, he didn't really maintain eye contact. And the way he described Katherine...

"So..." She drawled, holding out the sud-covered plate. "Which one of you dated her first?"

Damon chuckled, taking the plate from her grasp. "Nicely deduced." He began to rinse it. "Ask Stefan. I'm sure his answer differs from mine." He set the dish in the rack to dry. She frowned. Was it possible that Katherine had gotten between them? Was that why they were feuding?

Damon shook his hands dry. Raven dipped her hands under the running faucet and did the same. His gaze thickened into her every action. She didn't like how he talked about Stefan...what had Damon done to him? Why was Stefan so...afraid?

She swallowed hard, not wanting to find out, and spun toward the table behind her. A pile of placemats was asking to be folded...and she wanted to put as much distance between her and Damon as possible without seeming rude. Damon didn't seem to get the memo.

"I'd quit cheerleading if I were you." He followed Raven to the table and sat down. She couldn't tell if that was a threat or a friendly suggestion.

"Why do you say that?"

"Oh I saw you at practice today," Damon said. She remembered seeing him drop Caroline off earlier that afternoon. It'd been so shocking because for once in Caroline's anal life, she was late to practice. Raven might've given Damon a dirty look. Possibly. But she almost regretted it when he said "You looked miserable."

"I was." There was no point in hiding it. Besides, what was Damon going to do? Tell on her? This was the first heart-to-heart between them, and she was planning for it to be the last.

"So why don't you stop?"

Raven sighed. "I promised myself that I wouldn't change." Openly, at least.

"Well given what you experienced, that seems a little...unrealistic to me."

"It probably is." She chuckled humorlessly. "But, uh...I don't break my promises."

"And what happens if they break you?"

"It won't." She didn't mean for her tone to come out as sharp as it did. Damon didn't seem offended, but he didn't press either. He just smiled, albeit uncomfortably, and nodded.

She watched him for a moment, realizing something that she hadn't before. Beneath the shallow charm and fake smiles must've been a whole lot of pain.

"I'm sorry," She said gently. He frowned. She captured the look of genuine confusion on his face and clarified "About Katherine. You lost her too."

He blinked. Her words seemed almost foreign to him, like he couldn't remember the last time someone expressed sympathy or care for him. He held Raven's gaze, eyes softening. His eyes seemed less like a weapon to uncover someone else's pain and more like a window to reveal his own. She offered a smile, and for once, he seemed speechless.

Raven hadn't known it then, but one point for her.

◇◇◇

The rest of the night raced Raven by. Bonnie had unknowingly interrupted her special moment with Damon...which totally didn't nag at her at all. Afterward, Damon left, probably to torment Stefan, and Caroline joined her in the kitchen. The blonde had immediately apologized for being insensitive and with Caroline...well, it was hard to stay mad.

Now, Raven was drifting off to sleep, exhausted by the night's events. Sleeping was easier than she thought it'd be. It was the dreams that proved to be difficult.

She dreamt that she was sitting on her bed, speaking to Ryder. Seeing him, it was like he never died. He talked to her about nonsense. And then out of nowhere, he leaned forward and kissed her. She welcomed the feeling of his lips on hers, not taking a moment to think. He hovered over her, pressing her against the mattress, and desperately unbuttoned her shirt. But when she pulled back for air, it wasn't Ryder's face she was looking at.

It was Damon's.

Raven jolted awake, breathing heavily. "Three," She panted. "Six...nine..." After a few seconds, she caught her breath. What the hell was that? Why was she having dreams about making out with her crush's—uh, her friend's brother? What was wrong with her?

Damon was hot, yes, but she wasn't attracted to him. The opposite, actually. No matter how...human he seemed for a minute. Besides, he was Caroline's boyfriend. Raven needed to pull herself together. "It's not real," She murmured. But the sensation of his lips meeting hers....it felt more like a memory than a dream. She'd heard of phantom pain, but phantom makeout sessions? Was that even a thing?

She shook her head and closed her eyes. "It's not real," She whispered. She repeated those words again and again until she drifted off to sleep, unaware of the black crow perched on her windowsill. 

___

I am so mad at myself right now! I accidentally wrote two versions of the SAME CHAPTER so I had to update this 🤦‍♀️ I really hope it flows nicely...sorry about that y'all