↻ AUTHOR ࿐྄ -taeguccihoe
↻ REVIEWER ࿐྄ PLUM_PUDDING_STORIES

First Light :: 11/20

» Title :: 3/5

Title is a label of a book that gives your book an identification and also the first time you connect with  your readers. The title you've created goes well with the story of your book and the reader is able to  gather some knowledge about what your story will be. But there is a grammatical error in your title, it should be 'Stepbrothers' the apostrophe should be  excluded as it gives a different meaning.

This title is common among many fanfictions if you want yours to stand out it should probably be  changed. Create a title that's unique and it should arouse curiosity to leave the readers hooked up. Add  up a bit of an attraction to the title and you are ready to go.

» Cover :: 7/10

Book cover is a vital illustration of your book. It's a visual representation that lets the readers create a  picture in the minds and imagine them in the course of the story. Covers should be as attractive as  possible to grab the attention of the targeted audience. 

The color tones were used in an attractive way to bring out the theme of your story and the  background image added up well to it expressing the necessary emotions. You've conveyed your  message clearly to your readers.

The font color of the title needs to be changed to give it more recognition and Author name is quite  obscured and the font color used doesn't match well which is a negative point.

» Blurb :: 1/5

The blurb is terrible to be honest it didn't contain any piece of information worth reading. Nothing was  there to grab from it except some words just wrapped together in pointless sentences. It seemed as if you didn't care about creating an important blurb and just got on with it. Start the blurb with a powerful hook that contains intense emotions. The main characters need to be in  the blurb in a way that readers feel 'wow'. Introduce the personality traits of your characters and wrap  them up in good attractive vocabulary words to make your blurb intense which will help your readers to  give a first good impression of your writing talent as well. Research some blurb samples. Your blurb should contain a short summarized version of your plot. Don't  reveal too much. But add in some lines where you are about to reveal but stop without revealing  anything. Balance the length of your blurb and construct it more carefully with all the necessary elements.

Dawn :: 7/10 

The dawn was quite good, with character introductions helping readers to understand their personality  traits and how they behave in the course of the story. The trailer was really impressive which really  helped you to garner lots of reads. It certainly drew in an attraction to keep reading your book to find out  more and kept the readers hooked up. I personally liked it a lot! There were minor drawbacks such as spelling mistakes and the spelling for 'characters' are wrong as well.  And some words were misplaced in character introduction quotes. And many authors ignore and forget  this, please add in a disclaimer to claim this book as your legal work. If your book gets plagiarized you  wouldn't be able to claim it as your own. In the wattpad desktop version you can move and adjust the  chapters so replace the disclaimer as your chapter.

The first two chapters were written quite well with atmospheric changes between the family and it was  quite a good read except for some sentence structure errors. 

Make sure to start in a way that makes the readers concentrate in every single word you've  constructed. You could draw in the readers with a powerful voice, starting at a moment of confusion. Don't  just start off by exposing the character's background. Just imagine the whole history being exposed at  once. When you create a certain time lapse it will keep the readers at bay and it keeps the readers hooked, craving to unravel the secrets. End the first chapter with a killer cliffhanger.

Plot and Idea :: 15/20
 
The general theme and the central theme is certainly attention grabbing. After the teaser everything  went on so well with the unravel of family secrets and unknown family backgrounds about the  characters. It was neatly planned out well and constructed in a neat layout with something to ponder  about until the next chapter.

But sometimes the pov was confusing but the dialogues made the plot alive with the necessary emotions. There were certain changes that I found interesting. All in all up to now the plot is good and the general theme and ideas are constructed well.
When you continue on with the rest of your chapters make sure to add an attention grabbing title to your  chapters and end the chapters with cliffhangers which keeps your readers hooked up. Add in some  actions and details, make sure to describe them well. Plan out the conflicts beforehand so you can insert  them at the proper moment.

Characters and Emotions :: 11/15
 
This is the most difficult part of a book. Evoking emotions and making them invested in your characters  is real hard work. Readers should feel absorbed towards the characters. When they are invested they  have already gained knowledge of how they will act. Readers want to get emotional when they read  your work and exclaim comments such as Oh no!! or Woow!! or I feel bad for him/her, this shows their  engagement with your characters and how much they are bonded. Don't rush the feelings or emotions of the characters that characters produce, move the time in a controlled pace so the  readers get plenty of time to feel more about the scene that they're reading. And when you introduce  your characters elaborate more on their physical appearances as well.
Everything needs to be in planned out details to convey the feelings to your readers.

Writing Style :: 10/15

The importance of writing style is to ensure the accuracy and the style of your work. It ranges from  every author and some may even have the same styles. But every author is unique in their own writing  styles. Well, story writing is basically divided into descriptive and narrative writing so you need to have a  thorough understanding about these two writing styles because when you start from scratch there is so  much planning to do. Your styles, techniques and skills were quite alright.

But add in more action scenes with suitable descriptives for the readers to delve into more details to get immersed and absorbed in the story.
Your vocabulary skills are on a good level but there were some sentence structure errors and word  misplacings. Other than that it was quite alright. But learn some other good action vocabularies to  improve and enhance the quality of your writing.

Grammar :: 16/20

Grammar was quite alright except for some minor noticeable errors. I'll list them down below and look into  the errors more carefully to produce a clean read and to avoid the disruptions in the flow of your story.

01. Missing punctuations
02. Minor spelling mistakes
03. Sentence structure errors
04. POV changes

Many apostrophes were misplaced as well. I've corrected some errors below. she placed her phone in her back pocket walking out of the mansion into the darkness of the city.

He sat on the chair nearby, watching the girl...

as she stopped what she was doing...

it's not plump it's pulp.

TOTAL :: 70/100

Reviewer's Note :: It was a good read, focus on the above mentioned errors and you are good to go. Good Luck!

●◉◎◈◎◉●

Yours Truly,
SeeSaw Fam.