↻ AUTHOR ࿐྄ྀ  everydaydreamingxxi

↻ REVIEWER ࿐྄ྀ  little_squishy_bun

First light :: 15/20

» Title :: 4/5

The title, though fairly unique and different, it’s not very creative, since it’s actually based on a famous story. That’s where you lose the one mark. Maybe something completely original and new would’ve been better.

But again, it suits the book very well, considering it revolves around a Bluetie, and the antagonists are the Beasts.

» Cover :: 8/10

The cover is really catchy, and looks very attractive. It goes well with the theme of the book; it did not fail in hinting that the book would be thrilling, adventurous and maybe action too. The font placement and font type is also suitable for the cover, and it’s really good to see the font right where it doesn’t disturb the images.

But the small blue flash streak near Jimin’s chest isn’t going well with the entire color scheme of the cover, maybe distractive for a moment.

Though it is the reaction of a sapphire blue ties to physical attack, lessening its brightness or maybe removing it would’ve been better. This change could be made, or else, you could try making the cover of the color-scheme blue and red, instead of completely red, so that that single flash doesn’t seem left out or oddly mismatched.

» Blurb :: 3/5

The blurb is totally relevant to the book; it’s interesting and quite intriguing too. But as it develops, it’s fairly confusing. Like, it starts off with a small description of the story base, but continues to the deeper part of the story, which seems slightly confusing at first.

I suggest focusing on one particular aspect of the book, starting slowly and trying to make it clearer. Or maybe you can just make it more clarified and less complicated so that it is just as interesting. Elaborating slightly, enough to keep the suspense but enough to tell the reader something more about the story.

Dawn :: 8/10

Considering there was no prologue, this score is based on the first three-four chapters.

The start was impressive. It was quite appealing; the way you started with describing the environment or surroundings and then the protagonist was portrayed casually, is elegant. The start, though not very interesting, is fairly well-written and it shows that you are a professional at this, impressing the reader.
There are some slight mistakes with the tenses used in the chapters, which can be confusing at times; confusing in the terms of the tense the story is being written in.

I suggest reading through it again, and trying to change the verbs to their appropriate tense which suits the story flow.

Plot and Idea :: 13/20

Though the story plot has almost no plot holes or inconsistency, the plot seems somewhat cliche at places.
The cliche could be due to the similarity of the plot base with a typical zombie book. The start, which is the mention of viruses and the categorization, somewhat reminded me of zombies, but as the plot proceeds, it’s really new and unique. Quite creative, to say the least.

The plot also moves at a constant pace, making it enjoyable and understandable. Though there are times when you jump to another scene, and the past is shown in a flashback. It could be confusing sometimes; not telling you against it, but it would be better if the flashbacks were shortened.

The idea is quite nice; especially the categorization of the humans based on the effect of the vaccine. It’s new, and I think it’s executed very well too, making the book a good read.

Characters and Emotions :: 8/15

The character portrayal is done fairly well. The characters are quite unique, strong and justified. I liked the way their actions and thoughts were shaped, considering their personality and character. Also, their actions were justified, and they haven’t acted out of character anywhere.

But the emotions weren’t conveyed successfully. I think you could’ve done it in a better way. Their emotions, though mentioned, weren’t quite affecting or binding me to the book. There are many places where a better job could’ve been done with the emotions. Also, emotions help justify and display the strength of a bond between two people, but in your case, it wasn’t so.

The emotions could’ve been portrayed in a better way through some actions or conversations between the characters. Maybe, showing their thoughts and ponderings, and adding some descriptive emotional paragraphs might help with it.

I suggest working more on the emotions and ways to convey them; the book can seem bland at some points due to that, and there might be a few places where the characters seem to be absurd since their actions aren’t justified through their emotions.

Writing style :: 12/15

Must agree to the fact that your writing style spiced up the story, and made it possible for your thoughts to reach the reader. The credits for the correct conveyement of emotions partly belong to the writing style.

But sometimes, the writing style made the story long, and boring at times.
There are a few chapters where you get over-descriptive; try lessening it, or else the chapters get long and boring.
Also, you seem to lack description and clear portrayal when it comes to action. Considering the book is an action-thriller, this could be a negative point as an author for you.

I suggest elaborating more on the action scenes, and trying to be less descriptive with the normal scenes and happenings.

Grammar :: 15/20

There are not many grammatical mistakes through-out the book. But a few were made due to lack of attention and proof-reading, I presume.

Like I mentioned earlier, the tenses are being flipped from one to the other, and that makes it difficult for the readers to actually know the one tense you’re writing in. Though it gets fixed as the chapters move on, I suggest editing the chapters at the start to give a clearer view of the tense you’re using throughout the whole book.

There aren’t any typos, and not many punctuation mistakes either. But I would like to suggest one thing here:  using numerous punctuation marks to indicate extreme emotions in the dialogue isn’t very professional and appreciated. It is better to use just one exclamation mark or question mark to end the sentence; it is more correct and professional.

There have been several places where you forgot to capitalize the first letter of a sentence, mostly, it’s a dialogue. It could show the lack of attention to writing, and editing it after proofreading is the only solution to avoid such small mistakes.

TOTAL :: 71/100

Reviewer's Note :: The book is really cool. It’s everything an action-thriller needs. The story isn’t really much about the romance, but that’s fine because too much romance would’ve diverted the genre of the book itself. So, all the book needs now is some editing and a lil bit of improvement with the conveyement of emotions.
Good luck for the future! I hope my review was helpful and you’ll keep these points in mind!

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Yours Truly,
SeeSaw Fam.