↻ AUTHOR ࿐྄ྀ Appy008
↻ REVIEWER ࿐྄ྀ lilacgyu

First Light :: 12/20

» Title :: 2/5

The title is apt to the story and the plot. However, it isn’t very unique. It’s a common title and is not very interesting either. To attract readers, it is necessary to have an eye-catching title, and ‘Beating Heart’ does not really fulfil its purpose of attracting readers.

» Cover :: 6/10

The cover of the book is simple, but well made. It contains all the necessary parts of a cover- the title, subtitle/description, and information on the author. However, it is a bit underwhelming. The colour palette was perfect for the theme of the story, and the female face claim matched the description in the story.

» Blurb :: 4/5

The blurb delivers what it is meant to perfectly. It gives just the right amount of information to leave the reader questioning how the story will move forward. Good job!

However, I found a few punctuation mistakes in the blurb.

Due to financial constraints, and to fulfil her responsibility towards her grandmother and younger sister. she leaves her small town and moves to New York City. Where she will meet the love of her life, Ethan Walker.

Here, fullstops have been used instead of command. This whole excerpt must be written together as a sentence. The correct blurb will be :

Due to financial constraints, and to fulfil her responsibility towards her grandmother and younger sister, she leaves her small town and moves to New York City, where she meets the love of her life, Ethan Walker.

[Suggestion : Firstly, I suggest changing your title into something more unique, refreshing and intriguing. This will help attract readers to the book. Secondly, the cover can be improved. It’s way too simple to catch viewers' eyes. Editing your blurb to free it off grammatical errors will also help.]

Dawn :: 7/10

The book starts off with an introduction to the protagonist and her family and friends. This part was greatly done, and the readers could get a glimpse of the personality of the protagonist. However, at one point in the starting, it felt like way too many characters were being introduced, a few of them seeming quite unnecessary to the plot. The number of characters being introduced made it quite confusing to understand the plot.

The flow, pacing and descriptions of the start of the book were great. The book flowed smoothly apart from the abrupt introduction of a few characters.

[Suggestion : My suggestion is to reduce the number of characters being introduced. Introducing the protagonist, her family and best friend is, of course, necessary for the plot. But introducing a few unnecessary characters (like Glowey’s friends) feels like an intervention in the story.]

Plot and Idea :: 17/20

The main idea and theme of the plot isn't very unique, the trope used is quite common. An ambitious protagonist dedicating their life to saving their family, and love coming in the way. This trope has been used by a lot of people on wattpad, and you’d have expected it to be stale by now. But the way the story was taken ahead was quite interesting. Unlike many other books that fall under this trope, this book actually has interesting elements to it, the great writing helping in enriching this.

[Suggestion : The plot of the story was executed well, although the main trope was quite cliche. There are many unique elements to this book, however, my suggestion is to add a few more. Instead of taking this book in the same direction as the other books, think of a new direction you can take it to. This will surprise and interest readers.]

Characters and Emotions :: 12/15

The descriptions were great! There was a generous use of metaphors right from the first paragraph of the book. And a good description means a great connection with the readers. There was just enough description to keep the reader hooked, but not get bored. However, at a few places, I found that the descriptions were under-done. These places felt quite bland. There were also many words throughout the book that were used over and over.

[Suggestion : I suggest proofreading. This will help you spot places which need to be described better. I also suggest hunting for synonyms as you write. Using synonyms of a word instead of reusing the same word repeatedly will help keep the readers engaged.]

Writing Style :: 11/15

Your writing style was quite enjoyable. With loads of metaphors, it was pleasant  to read. The descriptions-although quite uneven-were done well, and this helped in getting the readers hooked to the plot.

One problem I found was the vocabulary. The vocabulary range used in the book wasn’t very wide. Like I already mentioned, the same words were used throughout the book, making the description bland in a few places. I also found that a few events were greatly described while a few were described blandly, almost brushed away. This uneven description makes the book boring and uninteresting. 

[Suggestion : To improve vocabulary, I suggest synonym searches. This will improve your writing while at the same time reduce the number of times a few words are used in the book. To improve the uneven description, proofreading is the only solution.]

Grammar :: 13/20

» Wrong usage of adverbs : In a few places, I found that instead of a verb or an adjective, an adverb has been used. Here’s an example:

“I’m sorry!” I said embarrassingly.

This sentence is supposed to show the embarrassment of the protagonist. Here, the word ‘embarrassed’ must be used instead of ‘embarrassingly’. Using the word ‘embarrassingly’ changes the meaning of the sentence. Here’s another example:

He looked towards me disappointingly.

This sentence is supposed to show that ‘he’ is looking at the protagonist with disappointment in her decision. Here, using ‘disappointingly’ will change the meaning of the sentence. The correct sentence will be:

He looked towards me disappointedly.
[or]
He looked towards me, disappointed.

» Tense inconsistency : Tense inconsistency is when words of different tenses are used in the same sentence or paragraph. This is a mistake I found scattered throughout the book. Here’s an example:

“I want to go to New York.” I finally said it. Grandma and Gloria both were staring at me.

Here, ‘finally said it’ is in the past tense, while ‘staring at me’ is in present continuous tense despite both the events occurring at the same time. The correct sentence will be:

“I want to go to New York.” I finally said it. Grandma and Gloria both stared at me.

» Punctuation errors : I found various punctuation mistakes throughout the book. The major mistakes I found were the omission of commas (as I mentioned under blurb) , and the continuous use of exclamation marks. Using exclamation marks instead of periods makes the dialogues sound way more excited and exaggerated than they are supposed to be. For a good part of the book, I hardly saw the usage of periods in dialogues.

» Repeated usage of specific dialogue tags : I noticed the continuous usage of tags- ‘said’ and ‘used’ which are in general quite overused. This makes the writing boring.

[Suggestion : My first and foremost suggestion to correct most of this is- editing and proofreading. This will help correct punctuation errors and wrong usage of adverbs. I suggest some research for correcting the constant usage of specific dialogue tags and inconsistent tense. I also suggest reading a bit more so you get an idea of the same.]

TOTAL :: 72/100

Reviewer's Note :: The book was a great read! Although based on a cliche trope, the plot was taken forward in a unique way. A bit more proofreading, research and reading and you’ll be good to go! With that said, I hope my review helped! All that I mentioned above was constructive criticism, and I don’t intend to offend or hurt you in any way. All your book needs is a bit of polishing, and you’ll be good to go. You can contact me if there are any doubts, or if I haven’t covered anything properly. Thank you, and all the best! :)

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Yours Truly,
SeeSaw Fam.