↻ AUTHOR ࿐྄ྀ cloudistay
↻ REVIEWER ࿐྄ྀ astrxzaki

First Light :: 6/20

» Title :: 2/5

A title’s purpose is to give readers an overview as to what the book will be like. And since yours is titled ‘Before I Knew’, I’m guessing it has something to do with Mingi before he knew about the truth. Whilst it is pertinent to the book’s plot line, it’s unoriginal and common. There’s nothing wrong with it, but if you want your book to stand out against the rest, I suggest changing it to something more unique, more eye-catching, but still regains significance.

» Cover :: 3/10

The cover doesn’t quite fit the book’s storyline. Angsty stories are meant to have dark melancholic themes while books with pure fluff tend to be the exact opposite, so I was a bit perplexed when I saw your cover and read ‘angst’ in the book’s bio.

The editing in general, whilst not all that bad, isn’t better than decent either.

There is no clear color scheme, and whilst the background showed letters (which I know is somewhat crucial to the plot), it’s…unfitting, for lack of better wording. The font of the title and subtitle is too basic, and the cut out pictures of the two idols seem too rough and out of place too, seeming like the two photos were just hastily and carelessly edited onto the cover. It didn’t blend with the background at all, which is a bit unpleasant to the eye, if I’m being honest.

I advise sticking to an appropriate color scheme, like black and red or black and navy blue, and tweaking the background a bit so it’s more fitting. I also advise changing the title’s font to something less generic yet suitable.

» Blurb :: 1/5

A blurb, similar to the title, is meant to give readers an insight into what the book will be about. However, all I saw in your book’s bio― that is related to the story itself― is one quote from the book that, in my opinion, barely describes anything about the plot.

In order to garner more readers, I suggest summarizing the story into a few paragraphs (two or three will do, I suppose). You can briefly write descriptions about Yeosang’s disappearance and how it affected Mingi and his everyday life, seeing as those aspects were included in the story’s main plot. But make sure not to give out too much information (especially the important plot twists in the end), so the audience won’t be spoiled.

Oh, and this may just be me, but I suggest refraining from using fonts anywhere. Because of some circumstances, I had to read your book and write most of my review on my old laptop, so I didn’t get to read the quote properly until I got my new one back. I don’t think any kind of special fonts will show up in any old device screens so, like I stated, please refrain from putting fonts anywhere important.

Dawn :: 6.5/10

The first chapter went off to a great start. I honestly wasn’t expecting letter-style writing at all, but it was nice. This chapter gave us a bit of context of what Mingi and Yeosang’s relationship was like, how they met, what they thought of each other and more, which is needed so the readers can sympathize with Mingi (and Yeosang).

Though something that bugs me was that I noticed how there is no proper disclaimer and/or ”important author’s note” part. It just goes straight to chapter one. There were also no trigger warnings listed in any part of the book, and this is something that bothers me quite a bit, especially since this is a book that includes serious topics like death and suicide.

I advise you to make a separate chapter― preferably at the beginning― giving proper warnings so readers will know (or at least, somewhat know) what to expect. Some might not understand the importance of this, and some might not even care. But if I were to put it plainly, putting trigger warnings before the start of the chapters are a must so readers, especially those who are sensitive about specific topics, will know to proceed with caution.

Plot and Idea :: 9/20

Coming up with a unique plot with original tropes and details are essential when writing, for the main reason so that the readers won’t find your story ‘cliche’ or ‘ordinary’ and sink into boredom when reading.

Whilst the ‘dead lover’ trope is quite a popular one within different fandoms, I’d say that Yeosang’s (and, by proxy, Sanghee’s) backstory is something I’ve never really recalled reading before. Though it is a neat idea and would explain Yeosang’s suicide, I do have a bit of trouble with the storyline’s execution in writing― that will be explained in the ‘characters & emotions’ and ‘writing style’ sections of this review.

In summary, you thought of a decent plotline, with a backstory that’s distinctive and makes your story stand out from the rest. Props to you for that.

Characters and Emotions :: 4.5/15

In order for a reader to fully enjoy a book, they must feel as though they themselves are the ones who experienced or at least be well aware of what the characters are going through; seeing what they see, knowing what they think, feeling what they feel. I think this definitely plays a crucial role in one’s personal enjoyment.

I’ll be blunt about this― because of the fast pacing of your book (which will also be brought up in the ‘writing style’ section), I found it hard to sympathize with the characters. Mainly because of the sudden turn of events in the later half of the book that weren’t written long or well enough, if I’m being honest; along with the immediate information dump on Yeosang’s background, all of which happened in a span of a few chapters.

I recommend letting the story stew for a bit, making the chapters’ lengths a bit longer and gradually begin to drop hints of what Yeosang’s side of the story was. Not everything in one’s story has to be explained by the author. Let the readers think of what might’ve happened and let them connect the dots you’ve placed.

Also, this may just be me, but explaining a character’s complex background in the form of dialogue is inconvenient and hasty. It ruins the overall ‘vibe’ of the story, for lack of better wording. Flashbacks are usually suited for these kinds of scenarios (?), so I suggest you write Yeosang’s side of the story as a separate chapter instead.

Ah, and on a side note: is ‘Aliseu’ meant to be ‘Alice’ but in Korean? Yes, ‘Aliseu’ it’s pronounced in Korea and written in Hangul, but you don’t necessarily need to write the Hangul-romanized (?) name. You can just put it simply: Alice.

Writing Style :: 7/15

Your writing style is simple and straight to the point. You don’t over-narrate or overwrite, and though you mostly focus on describing what the characters felt instead of where they are or what else was simultaneously happening around them, the descriptions of each scene are decent and easy enough to understand― which is a good thing, especially for readers who are knew to the fandom/the Wattpad community or new to reading (or both).

Though you did mention something about the chapters of the first half of your book being short, I still think your regular chapters are borderline average in length, if not leaning more on the short side. There isn’t really much you can do to add to your chapters’ length without writing more (which will no doubt take more time).

And since we’re on the topic of length, I’d like to bring up the pacing of your story once more. Your story’s pacing from the beginning was well-timed; not too slow, but not too fast either. But it all went downhill the moment Mingi started finding out about what truly happened to Yeosang.

Like I’ve said in the section above, the sudden information dump was too much and, in my opinion, ruined the entire atmosphere and gloomy aura the book had built up from the beginning. Yeosang’s entire backstory, as I’ve stated more than a few times before, seemed like it was written in a hurry and was all crammed into three to four chapters― no offense. I really recommend writing Yeosang’s story in a more detailed way, maybe as a separate chapter for when Mingi finally uncovers the entire truth.

Ah. Another thing I’d like to add is the occasional switching between past and present tense. I advise you to stick to one tense only to avoid possible confusion (and so the paragraph will look neat and uniformed).

Examples:

Present tense: I weave my way through all the different stones, making sure not to drop the flowers in my hands. I stop in front of a specific gravestone.

Past Tense: I weaved my way through all the different stones, making sure not to drop the flowers in my hand. I stopped in front of a specific gravestone.

(notice the distinct yet relevant difference?)

Grammar :: 8/20

Since it’s already decent, I don’t really have much to say about your grammar. Similar to the way you write, your grammar is decent and simple enough to understand, to put it plainly. Though, I do urge you to expand your vocabulary and use similar terms to avoid repetition of words that might be bothersome to specific individuals.

Example:

Softly can be replaced with quietly, silently, in a hushed whisper, in a low tone, and more.

Punctuation-wise, you’re adequate in that department as well, so I don’t have much to say there, too.

Something that does bother me is how you use ‘you’ in both Yeosang’s and Mingi’s POVs, referring to their significant other. To be honest, it is quite perplexing when phrases like ‘you stared at her’ or ‘you sigh’, especially when that significant other is joined by other people (I’m referring to when Mingi was with Aliseu in the later chapters). I recommend you use Mingi’s name or pronouns instead of ‘you’, and also the same for Yeosang when it’s Mingi’s POV.

TOTAL :: 41/100

Reviewer’s Notes :: I hope you aren’t offended with anything I said. It was not my intention to do so. I do, however, apologize if I did offend you in any way.

Although I’m not much of an Ateez fan myself, reading ‘Before I Knew’ up until the very end was fun and relaxing for me. I truly enjoyed it, if I do say so myself. I especially liked the first few chapters, all written out as if they were heartfelt letters Mingi and Yeosang gave to each other before parting ways.

There isn’t really much you need to work on since your writing is already good, but I hoped I was somewhat able to help you. Looking forward to reading more books! Until next time. :)

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Yours Truly,
SeeSaw Fam.