↻ AUTHOR ࿐྄ྀ  BestOfJJK
↻ REVIEWER ࿐྄ྀ  TaesNemo

First Light :: 8/20

» Title :: 2/5

Titles need to be crisp yet informative at the same time.

One, your heading is too long; it's almost equal to a whole sentence. Two, it does relate to the book but the plot doesn't only speak about snowflakes or winter, it talks about love and nostalgia, misunderstanding, hurt and longing, all of these emotions aren't conveyed by the title.
Unique adjectives added to the topic in focus— love; ephemeral love (love that lasts for a short time), evanescent days (days that seem to fade from memory in a short time).
Simple phrases that relate to both winter and love or words that give a deep meaning related to longing and love. These are a few ideas, which you can work on and find creative titles.

» Cover :: 3.5/10

Covers convey the main message of the plot pictorially so a lot of focus must be put on making it clear and easy to interpret for readers and neat at the same time.

The cover is just a plain background with Jungkook's face claim pasted on it with a font for the title. The cover can be simple but not uninterpretable, the current cover only shows that it's a jk ff with a soft theme. That definitely is not enough considering the plot you have created.

Try making jk's picture smaller with a light shadow, maybe, so it blends with the background, the fonts need to be changed, try incorporating a snowflake themed font or something related to winter. Change the placement of the subtitle as well. It seems to be hanging in the middle without a perfect place for it.

» Blurb :: 2.5/5

The blurb in itself is a piece of writing with a proper start and ending to it. It is not supposed to be vague and random lines explaining the plot.

The current blurb simply talks about the main leads' separation and meeting again due to unknown circumstances that you wanna call fate. But the whole story, at every point, is related to the beauty of winter while the blurb has nothing.

The blurb is where you spend extra time and play with your vocabulary and create an attractive and interesting synopsis. Talk about the beauty and coldness, the fragile and deceptive nature of winter and relate it with love and the characteristics of the characters in the story.

Dawn :: 6/10

I stop with a six because of a few reasons I'll point out below.
First the starting was pretty good. The content in the first chapter that talks about the OC's broken love and winter I would call was pretty blurb-worthy. But you can be more descriptive and good at writing. It only takes practice and improvement.

The next two- three chapters were written well but not systematically. By that I mean the sentences were broken frequently and written in bits one after the other.

"She gulped as she felt a hard lump on her throat
Even after all these years…
After she thought she forgot him."

This doesn't necessarily have to be written in three small lines instead can be combined and written as a paragraph with more description and elaboration on certain topics.

"Standing there, reminded of the infinite number of sweet memories, it became hard for her suck in the air she needed. The lump in her throat hurt but not anymore than the thoughts hurt her. All those years, the past that she expected to have faded from her mind still flashed fresh in front of her, overwhelming her in ways unexplainable."

This is just an example I came up with to show what I meant by elaboration and description. Everytime a flashback is over and the story comes back to the present the feeling you want to explain has been written in bits, avoid that and try writing in detail.

The grammar and punctuations also went wrong in a few places. I'll elaborate on those topics in further categories.

Plot and Idea :: 9/20

It's a simple and cliche plot, and there isn't anything that makes the story stand out despite being cliche which makes the story uninteresting and common.

Every reader wants something different, unique or interesting out of the normal in the books they read. Try incorporating thus said elements— thrill, suspense, plot twist; unique ones, cliffhangers, open endings (how the plot ends). These factors can make even a cliche idea unique and read worthy when written well with a well planned and executed plot/storyline.

Characters and Emotions :: 10/15

The characters didn't have a balanced physical and mental description. Mentioning physical appearance is just as important as writing about the mental framework of a character.

The part where Rin finds an unknown guy standing inside the highschool. It is said he was wearing a hoodie. Just a hoodie? On a winter night? During Christmas? Now that insufficient information and to say the unknown guy got one line on his physical appearance when Ron's clothing or appearance was never described till now.

There weren't any major details given about Rin's fiance after he was introduced in the story. Every chapter contained detailed information on how both Jk and Rin felt every minute when the other character's emotions weren't given much attention to.

Try balancing each character, when writing about a situation where the specific character plays an important or major role try adding in descriptive details about them and move on to another character and write a little about them keeping in mind to balance emotions and character traits. This way every character will have their share of description in every other chapter.

Writing Style :: 6/15

For a romantic storyline that's related to winter as a beautiful climate every now and then description is very less and writing style is blunt.

I know you have given author notes saying you are a rookie at writing and that's totally fine but there is always plenty of room for improvement.

I suggest you read books related to your genre. Read a lot of best selling books or ones by well known writers that have a good writing style and plot work. Doesn't have to be traditionally written books with OC's, it can be ffs also but stick to reading ones with a hold in good vocabulary and writing experience.

Reading can help get a good idea on the different ways a situation, feeling or character can be described. Reading about literary devices and their correct usage can also help give a idea on how you can describe a particular situation or character more beautifully and in a better sense using the correct literary devices.

For example, a literary device namely.

Grammar :: 16/20

Frequent misuse of ellipsis is one main error I saw in every chapter.
Ellipsis is the three dots (...) That's used to denote suspense, inadequate information or cliffhangers at times in stories.

Limit to using only three dots and not too many and at the end of every sentence. Ellipsis can be used to show a word or words have been removed from a quote. It can create suspense by adding a pause before the end of the sentence. It can also be used to show the trailing off of a thought.
Dialogues generally have commas (,) in the end before it's closed off by a double quote (") if the character hasn't finished their dialogue or wishes to prolong for some time. At places where commas need to be used you have used ellipsis and that is a punctuation mistake.

I suggest either getting help from an editor who can correct the grammatical mistakes and guide you to write better or reading more to enhance your vocabulary and writing style and reading articles that can help you understand the correct usage of punctuation marks and literary devices.

TOTAL : 55/100

Reviewer's Note :: Lastly I hope my review was helpful for you and can improve your writing for the best. Hoping to read more works of yours in future. All the best!

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Yours Truly,
SeeSaw Fam.