Thomas whistles as he adjusts the poorly drawn marker mustache on his face, spinning around in front of the mirror like he's a movie star. "How do I look?"

"Like a knockoff Mario," I mutter, tugging my hoodie tighter around me.

Newt snorts behind me, and I glance back to catch him hiding a smirk. It's the first time tonight he's looked at me without that wall of awkward tension between us.

"Ready?" Minho calls out, holding up a pillowcase already half-filled with candy. "Because the real fun begins now, ladies and gentlemen."

"I'm not going," Newt grumbles, crossing his arms.

"Yes, you are," Minho replies cheerfully, looping an arm around Newt's shoulders. "You can't just sit around brooding all night. It's Halloween, man! The one day we can all act like idiots and no one cares."

"You act like an idiot every day."

"Exactly. I've got experience. Now let's go."

Newt shoots me a helpless look, but I just shrug. I'm not about to save him from Minho. Besides, I don't mind having him around, even if we're still figuring out... whatever this is between us.

The neighborhood is packed. Kids in costumes dart between houses, their laughter echoing through the crisp October air. Thomas and Minho immediately dive into their roles, running ahead to snatch as much candy as possible.

"This feels ridiculous," Newt mutters beside me, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Ridiculous is Minho carrying a pumpkin bucket meant for toddlers." I nod toward our friend, who's currently pleading a six-year-old to trade his chocolate bar.

Newt huffs a laugh, the sound warm in the cool night breeze. We trail behind the others, walking side by side in silence. It's not awkward exactly, but I've had more comfortable moment.

Finally, I can't take it anymore. "About earlier—"

"I don't want to talk about it," he interrupts. "Not now."

I stop walking. "Newt, come on."

He stops too, turning to face me with a tired expression. "What do you want me to say? That I regret it? Because I don't. There's nothing to talk about right now."

The honesty in his voice catches me off guard. I don't know what to say.

"But I also don't know how to do this." His gaze drops to the pavement. "So let's not talk about it here."

✧

"Sandy!" Ledger waddles over to me the second the caregiver opens the door to his new bedroom.

"Hey." I lift him up, pressing him closer against me than ever. "How're you?"

"Good! Me got candy." Ledger unexpectedly jumps out of my arms, stumbles onto the ground, but also gets up without complaints so he can grab the pumpkin basket off his nightstand.

"Wow, you celebrated Halloween?" I gasp. "Did you trick and treat?"

He nods heavily. "Love it!"

At home, we never really celebrated holidays. Once Helen was old enough, she would take us out to go trick and treat, but Mom didn't involve herself.

I begged for a Christmas tree. Years long. It didn't even matter to me if it had baubles or not, I just wanted our house to look just as pretty as Sonya's did during December. They always had this giant tree with flickering lights and baubles from every vacation they went on.

On Christmas Eve, she put the tiniest fake tree down in front of my house, rung the bell, and ran off. I cherished it with my life, taking it everywhere until I lost it somewhere below all the garbage spread through the house.

New Year's was unavoidable, even though Mom put us to bed before midnight. We'd secretly watch the fireworks from our windows.

Easter might've been the worst of all. I'd heard stories at school and was convinced to find eggs outside and around the house, but I never found anything. I began crying and told Mom I wasn't able to find them, then she gifted me the hard truth and said the Easter Bunny wasn't real and that she would never engage in something like that. The next year, I hid a box of crackers and some leftover candy for my siblings to find, just so they wouldn't have to go through the same.

Thanksgiving meant nothing to me until I met Sonya at eleven. She was highly offended I never celebrated and invited me over for dinner. Her parents were a bit upset by how greedy I was for the turkey and the other food, but I had never seen such a buffet like it. It was the best.

As mentioned before, our birthdays weren't a big deal either. The household was too big to put one person in the spotlight. Mom would give us a cupcake if she was in the mood, though.

"And you, Krista?" I shake the memories out of my head and walk over to the thirteen-year-old girl. She's sitting on her bed, bored. "Did you trick and treat?"

She points at a basket on her nightstand.

Krista's never been one to talk a lot. She's the silent type, unlike the rest of our family. She has raven-colored hair, eyes so blue that they're a bit intimate to look at for too long.

Every other sibling has brown hair and brown eyes, genes from both parents. So it might be possible that Krista is not... Dad's daughter.

I glance at Krista's candy basket, then back at her. "Did you have fun?" I ask, sitting at the edge of her bed.

She shrugs, fiddling with the edge of her sweater sleeve. "I guess."

I wait, hoping she'll say more, but silence stretches between us. Krista's never been much for opening up unless you ask gently—too gently, and she stays silent, but too firmly, and she shuts down completely.

"Who'd you go with?" I ask after a moment.

"Ledger," she mutters, looking down at her hands. "Just me and Ledger. Claire was throwing a tantrum, Melvin didn't feel like going, and Bard's too young."

My chest tightens. "No other girls here? Or boys? People you like?"

She shakes her head.

It's not hard to imagine the others at the group home leaving her out. Krista's a bit odd to kids her age. She doesn't like loud noises, doesn't like crowds. She likes cryptozoology and collecting bugs and buttons—which is a tad more strange as my stamp collection, but still lovely. If she was more talkative, I'd definitely want to know all about her hobbies. I'm sure there's more.

"Well," I say, "looks like you got more candy than Ledger did."

Her lips twitch slightly, the ghost of a smile, but it fades as quickly as it appeared. I lean closer. "Krista, is something wrong?"

She finally looks at me, her sharp blue eyes locking onto mine. "Why are you here?"

The question throws me off for a moment. "What do you mean?"

"You're not really with us that much," she says bluntly. "You're always with your friends, or at school, or with Sonya. You're never here."

"I..." I don't know how to respond to that. She's not wrong. Since moving out, I've spent more time trying to keep myself together than thinking about what my siblings might need from me. I was just so happy to rest for once.

I mean, I did show up a few times, but surely not as often as the kids would wish. And I fully understand how that might make them feel. 

Krista looks away. "I just don't get why you came tonight."

"Because I care about you. About you and Ledger and everyone else. Even if I'm not here as much as I should be."

She doesn't say anything, but her shoulders relax slightly under my hand.

"And hey," I add, forcing a smile, "new place, new chances, right?"

They're staying at a group home for now. The caretakers are trying to find a new home for them, like a foster family, but for some reason, I don't like that idea. I'd much rather wait a few more years and have them live with me.

"I guess so. They do have computers here."

"Have you figured the Loch Ness Monster out yet?"

Surprised, her head snaps up. "How do you know I'm researching that one right now?"

"I meant it when I said I do care about you."

Another tiny smile forms on her face. "I'll send you my eventual results."

"You better." I stand up again. "If you don't mind, I'm going to check up on Claire and Melvin now, okay?"

She nods. "Okay."

"You can always call me." I know she doesn't like hugs, so I just smile at her before walking off. Ledger wanders after me.

The caretakers told me that Krista wanted to stay with Ledger, while Melvin and Claire wanted to stay with people their age. I really hope they found some nice friends. I can never truly explain how much I value the friendship between Sonya and I, even though we might not talk as much now that I'm at college.

"Sander!" Claire's scream echoes through the whole place before she runs up to me, attacking me with a hug before she also hits me across the face for some reason, then clings to my leg and also pretends to catch my nose between her fingers.

"Did you bring Newt?" She asks after the... lovely greeting.

"Is he seriously the one you worry about when your brother—by blood—is in front of you?"

I stop her right before she smacks me in the face again. She doesn't actually want to hurt me, she just wants to show off both her excitement and strength, not understanding that it may hurt others.

"Mini!" Ledger then screams. "Mini funny! Mini where?!"

"I'll bring them next time, okay?" I sigh out. "Do you like it here, Claire?"

Ledger replies before she can, "No choco pudding here! Only when Newt and Sandy."

I look down at him. "Yeah, that's why you need to stay at ours more often. You'll get all the chocolate pudding you want."