"Mom, no—"

"Yes, Sander."

"I have school. I don't have time to—"

"You think I have time? With five kids at home, half of them sick all the time? I need you to take Claire and Ledger. The rest is old enough to take care of themselves, and I can focus on Bard."

"Melvin's ten and Krista's thirteen, you can't just neglect them." I throw my hands in the air. "Claire and Ledger won't be better off with me!"

Claire's six and Ledger's three. How am I supposed to take care of kids that young, while also dealing with school? And a roommate that won't appreciate this situation for sure?

"I don't have time to take care of them all. I'm just as busy as you, so just take two of them for a week— please." She puts her cigarette down.

I clench my jaw. This morning, some weird man left the house just when I entered. The house smells like cigarettes and something rotten. Everything's a mess and I don't have time to clean— traveling to Elmsville already takes forever.

"Here." She pushes Ledger in my arms, then yells for Claire to come over here. "Helen will be home for Christmas, so you better make sure you have time to celebrate with us."

I could just walk off right now, but that feels the same as leaving my siblings to die. So eventually, I mumble a quick 'bye' and leave with Ledger in my arms, and Claire by my side.

For her age, she's quite tall. Her hair is thinner than mine, but the same brown color. Ledger's hair is shortly buzzed, his body still chubby.

"I don't want to go," Claire complains.

I pull her arm. "I don't have time for this. If you stay calm the whole time, I'll get you some candy once we arrive. Got it?"

She has ODD, and it's not easy to deal with.

"Fine," she groans out.

✧

By the time we arrive at the dorm, Ledger's diaper is full of shit and Claire is bawling her eyes out because she was unable to play a game on my phone–I ran out of data and haven't got the money to pay for extra.

"We have wifi at home," I tell her for the millionth time, unlocking the door. Twilight has fallen. The silhouettes of trees are etched into the dark hallway. Inside the dorm, it looks more pleasant.

The lights are on, soft and orange-ish. I'm still in love with the dark green color on the walls, and the fact that it's always perfectly clean, but not scarily clean.

Vaguely, I hear water running. Newt must be taking a shower. "Come on." I put Claire on the couch, handing her the remote of the TV with ease. In order to change his diaper, I lie Ledger down on the kitchen counter.

Newt enters the room a few minutes later. His hair is anything but dry, the usual blonde color replaced with something darker. He's wearing comfy-looking pants, along with a gray sweater.

"Are we a daycare now?" He glances at the two kids. Ledger is next to Claire by now, all fresh.

"I'm so sorry," I apologize. "My mom refused to listen to me. I had to take them. It'll only be for a week or so. I'll try not to bother you, but Ledger's only three and Claire has ODD, so–"

"It's fine," he murmurs unconvincingly. "Don't worry. Sonya told me about..." a frown appears on his face. "...about the number of siblings."

Ashamed, I look down with a nod. "Do we have an air mattress or something? Claire has some sensory issues. Sleeping in the same bed as her will make her whail all night long."

I bite my lip out of frustration. This will never work out. The three of us don't fit in my bed, but I can't leave Claire and Ledger alone in one room as I sleep on the couch. Ledger might wake up, and if that accidentally causes Claire to wake up as well, then it'll be like a bomb exploded inside of her. But Claire will probably complain in the first hour, which means Ledger won't be able to fall asleep, which means he'll cry, and then Claire won't be able to sleep because he's crying, and–

"Ehm." Newt rubs his eyes. "I'll just take the boy."

"Huh?" My head snaps back up.

"Let me take the boy. He'll sleep with me... can't be too difficult to deal with, right?"

"I hope not," I mutter. "Thank you, Newt."

Newt walks over to the kids without another word. "Hi. I'm Newt, Sander's roommate."

Ledger looks at him with some kind of interest and Claire keeps her eyes on the TV, unbothered.

Newt clears his throat. "What're your names?"

"Ledger," the little boy says.

"Claire," I warn when she still doesn't look up. "Be nice and introduce yourself to Newt."

She gives Newt a pointed look. "I'm Claire." And turns back to the screen in front of her.

"He's a bit clingy," I say when we look at Ledger again, who has scooted closer to his sister. "It's late. He'll probably be asleep as soon as you lie him down."

Newt crouches, extending his arms to Ledger. "Think we can handle that?"

Ledger glances at me for reassurance, and I give him a small nod. Slowly, he waddles over to Newt, who lifts him with surprising ease. Watching Newt hold my brother feels... odd. My chest tightens, and I can't decide if it's relief, gratitude, or something else entirely.

"Alright," Newt says. He turns toward his room, leaving me alone with Claire, who's flipping through TV channels like she's looking for gold. I sigh, dropping onto the couch beside her.

"No cartoons?" she complains, tossing the remote into the cushions with more force than necessary.

"We'll set up the streaming app once I connect to the Wi-Fi with the TV. We normally never use it." I rub my temples. The exhaustion is creeping in fast. "Just be patient."

She stands up and starts pacing around as she fidgets with the hem of her shirt.

"What are you doing?" I ask, trying to keep my tone gentle.

She doesn't look at me. Instead, she starts circling the table, dragging her feet with slowness. "I'm bored," she grumbles. "Bored, bored, bored..."

I pinch the bridge of my nose. "I know. I get it. But there's not much we can do right now." I try to sound casual, but I can feel the pressure building. This is when Claire gets tricky.

"You don't get it," she says. "You don't get anything."

I push myself off the couch and walk over to her. "Hey, I get it more than you think. But right now, you need to chill, okay? This is Newt's place as well, and we need to be cool."

"I don't want to chill."

"Claire. I'm serious. Stop acting like this. I'm tired, too, you know."

Her face crumples for a second, like she's trying to figure out if she should keep fighting or not. "Well, I don't care. You're not my boss."

I bite my lip to stop from snapping back. "You're right. I'm not your boss. But I'm the one who's stuck watching you right now, and you need to stop with the attitude." I take a breath. "I'm trying to make this work. Can you just let me do that?"

Claire glares at me. She's so small, yet when she looks at me like that, it feels like she could tear me down. Then, her face softens just slightly. Not enough for me to call it an apology, but it's enough to make me think she's trying to get a grip.

"I don't like it here," she says quietly. "I miss our TV at home and my toys." She kicks the floor. "I don't want to stay here. I want to go home."

I kneel down to her level. "I know you don't like it here. But we don't have a choice right now. We've got to hold on. Just for a week, okay?"

She folds her arms tighter, her lips pressing together like she's about to argue again. But then, she glances at the TV and grumbles under her breath. "I don't want to watch this show anymore."

"Okay, so what do you want to do, then?"

Claire shrugs dramatically. "I don't know. Maybe you can play with me."

"Alright, fine. What do you want to play? We have cards here. What about that?"

Claire tilts her head, considering it for a moment, then nods. "Yeah, okay. But if you lose, you have to do the chicken dance."

"The chicken dance? Seriously?" I force an offended gasp to leave my mouth.

She grins, eyes twinkling. "Yep."

✧

About an hour later, Newt and I are left alone on the couch. I'm too tired to say much, but I nod in acknowledgment.

"Thanks," I say quietly.

"Don't thank me yet," he replies, his eyes narrowing slightly. "I can handle Ledger for one night, but a week? Sander, what the hell are you going to do? You're exhausted already."

"You think I don't know that? I didn't exactly have a choice."

"You had a choice to say no to your mom."

"Oh, great. And leave them there? You didn't see the house. You didn't see how she—" I stop myself, shaking my head. "I couldn't just leave them."

Newt leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I get that. But you've got finals, classes, and—what? A three-year-old and a six-year-old who need constant attention? How is this supposed to work?"

I hate that he's right, but I'm too stubborn to admit it. "It'll work because it has to."

He scoffs. "That's your plan? Just brute force your way through this?"

"You... you shut up! You can't complain about how I bring my siblings while you're the one who brings naked girls inside."

The words fly out before I can stop them, and I immediately regret it. But Newt doesn't even flinch. He just opens his mouth, then closes it. His jaw tightens like he's holding something back. After a long breath, he says, "I know."

I was expecting him to snap back at me, but he's just... listening.

It pisses me off. I hate it already.

And I don't know why, because I've been practically begging him to change.

I stare at him, my mind racing. This isn't how I wanted this conversation to go. I wanted to be mad at him, to tell him to back off, to remind him that I don't need his pity.

I realize that he's waiting for me to say something. But I don't know what to say.

Instead, I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, "You're really annoying, you know that?"

"Heard that before," he confirms, squinting his eyes.

"What?"

"You're weird. You argue with me all the time, telling me to change, and for once, I try to be understanding, and you just... I don't know– neglect it completely. But whatever, I'm going to bed before we argue again–like always."