K E I R A

Chicago, USA

It was impossible to comprehend everything that was happening around me, and then there was Niko, laying with his head in my lap, wheezing, his face twisted in pain. My blood ran cold, and while I'd been afraid of many things in my life, I'd never felt fear like this omnipotent presence at my back, pushing me towards an abyss. Almost like the little monster was creating a mirage inside my head for all the ways pain laid ahead for me. Nikolai whimpered, and I looked at his beautiful face, which had started going grey.

"No..." I leaned forward to apply pressure on his wound, but the blood kept oozing from his side, and I looked at Kyzer, waiting for him to say something.

"He doesn't have long, Kyzer." Angelo cajoled, "Unless you want her to suffer, I suggest you agree. And don't forget, the next bullet will hit her."

Kyzer stared at me, his gaze apologetic, and I shook my head, tears flowing freely from my eyes.

"Fine." Kyzer walked towards us, and helped me get Nikolai up. "I'll fucking marry your daughter. But only if he lives."

"Oh, he'll live." Angelo nodded at his men, and they helped Kyzer take Nikolai to Kyzer's car.

I sat in the backseat with Niko, his head in my lap, praying that he made it. I'd once believed I could live without him, but now that I'd just gotten him back after years of pretending that the perfection I'd once held in the palm of my hand was only fictional, I didn't think I could survive the slow bites of longing in my soul.

They say every blessing is also a curse in disguise, I'd never thought more of the saying, but now, sitting in the backseat of a car with Nikolai bleeding, I could see the truth behind the words. After all, loosing the greatest blessing could come with an everlasting pain, which then became the curse of the living.

I didn't bother wiping away my tears, running my hands through his hair instead. Nikolai coughed, his eyes opening, and I wiped away my tears frantically, but nothing could stop them.

"You have to promise you'll stay with me, Niko."

He coughed, "If..." his words broke as his features distorted with pain, and it felt like someone was squeezing my heart in their hands. I moved my hand to his neck, my fingers right above his pulse, "Keira. Sweetheart... Don't be like me. I—"

"No, stop." I pressed my finger against his lips, "Save your energy. And I'll ask again when you're better."

"Find.... someone...." The words died on his lips, and his eyes fluttered close, and he stilled.

I blinked, unsure if this was indeed happening, and I twisted my head towards Kyzer in the driving seat.

"You need to do something! You said this wouldn't happen, Ky!"

I was screaming at this point, however, I felt like I was floating in an abyss with nothing to anchor me, and it was as scary as it was depressing.

"We're here." Kyzer hit the brakes in front of the emergency gates of the hospital, and after that it was all a blur of doctors asking for details, and waiting.

So much waiting.

I sat in front of the operating room, waiting for anyone to come out with information. My clothes had blood on them, and so far I'd refused when they'd suggested I get my own wounds looked at. Kyzer came and sat beside me, placing his hand on my shoulder,

"Go and get checked." He whispered like he was talking to a child, "wear some clean clothes. I'll stay here."

"I don't want to leave him, Kyzer..."

"You won't be gone long, and I'll come find you if I have some news."

I nodded, and then Kyzer looked towards the side, ushering a nurse, sending me with her.

*

It felt good not to have his blood on me and see his bleeding form on my lap every time I closed my eyes, but I was eager to get back to Nikolai. It had already been five hours since they took him inside. I turned the corridor and saw Kyzer huddled with Samuel. Fisting my hands at my sides, I stayed where they were, trying to catch their conversation.

"What the fuck did you do with the bullet-proof jacket?" Kyzer hissed at the man who merely stared at my brother blankly.

"He wanted Keira to have it, which is why I shot at her."

"Motherfucker...." Kyzer ran his hands through his hair, "He knew the plan, fucking hell..."

My blood ran cold at the realization that Nikolai had let me have the jacket, and still, he took the fucking shot. When he woke up, I was going to kill him myself.

"And why didn't you tell me that?" I walked closer to the two men, my eyes narrowed, "I suppose it's too easy to hide stuff from me now?" I glared at Kyzer, who only looked at me.

"I'll get going. Give Chernov my regards." Samuel nodded at me and left.

"Keira, I wouldn't put you in harm's way without a backup. I have no idea why he couldn't just stick to the plan..."

"You still could've told me..." I wrapped my arms around myself, "you didn't even tell me about mom and dad..."

Kyzer ran his hands through his hair twice before tilting his head to face me, "I just didn't know how..." He shrugged, "It was too much, Keira. I—" He exhaled, his eyes reddening, "I hate them for making me, and I hate Astley for putting them in a position like that. I fucking hate myself for killing them too,"

I shook my head, "Oh, Kyzer." I covered the few steps between us and wrapped my arms around Kyzer's shoulders. He stiffened for a minute before wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tightly. "It's not your fault." I whispered against his neck, my own tears flowing freely, "You didn't kill them, and it shouldn't have been your burden to carry."

He moved his head against my shoulder, and I tightened my arms around his shoulder, knowing he needed this more than I did. Kyzer didn't have emotional displays. He'd always been the one to lock them up in a box and throw them in the sea. He might've made himself unpredictable and threatening, but he was never that for me.

"I love you, Kyzer. It will never change." I said as I pulled back, and he nodded, some of the lightness returning back to his eyes, but I knew better than to fall for it. He was a master at deflecting hard truths.

"I love you too, Keira." He whispered, his voice raspy, "and you could've told me about Nikolai sooner too you know, who knows maybe Angelo might already be dead then."

"You wanted to marry Mallory, right?"

He nodded, and I asked, "What are you planning?"

"Don't ask me that." I opened my mouth to argue, "Please, not now."

"Okay."

"At least we'll both be in Chicago now," Kyzer smirked, and I shook my head, unable to fight my own smile.

"That's a silver lining to this shitshow."

He turned around and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, "It'll be fine. Oh, and let's get you back to your husband. They moved him to a room."

"And you're telling me this now?!" I whisper-hissed, and he shrugged.

"We had to get that mushy shit out of the way, and his grandfather will be coming here too. I didn't want to have to do this with him here."

"Okay." I smiled and leaned up to press my lips against his cheek.

"I thought I told you we weren't doing this." He smirked before wiping his cheek jokingly the way he used to do it when we were kids. He was always telling mom not to kiss his cheeks, grinning, and then protesting if she actually forgot to do it.

I shrugged the memory away and let Kyzer lead me into Nikolai's room.

It was bizarre to be in a room that Nikolai was in, yet it smelled nothing like him and more like sickness and death. He looked so small, lying in the bed with tubes surrounding him, and I had this strange sense of deja vu. Except the last time I'd watched him lie in a hospital bed, I'd known he wasn't barely alive. I wrapped my arms around myself as I took a moment to collect myself before approaching Nikolai's comatose form. It was like a ghostly cord was wrapped around my heart, and it just wouldn't loosen up, and the monster inside my head was still whispering all the awful things that could have happened today, almost creating a mirage where I believed Nikolai really was gone, but between the ruckus of my conflicted feelings, I was also livid.

I was fucking angry at Nikolai for putting himself in that position and for telling me that I'd find someone else. I was grasping at the straws to stay mad because if my blood weren't boiling, the emotional debt I was carrying would crush me, and I feared this time I wouldn't be able to get back up.

I collapsed on the chair beside Nikolai's bed and sighed, my eyes refusing to move away from his face lest he was just a fragment of my imagination. Kyzer leaned in the doorway, his legs crossed at his ankles,

"I'll be right outside, and when he wakes up, I need to have a word with the bastard."

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion, "About?"

"About how he wasn't supposed to fucking gamble with his life."

"And you care about him?" I was genuinely surprised, considering my brother's reluctance to form emotional bonds with people was not related to.

Kyzer shrugged, "I care about you." I shook my head, smiling, "and he's alright too, I suppose." He turned out and left the room, closing the door behind him.

I leaned forward and took Nikolai's hand in mine, tracing his knuckles with my fingers, breathing a sigh of relief at the steady beat of the machines indicating his heartbeat. I rested my head against the back of the chair, closing my eyes for the briefest of seconds, just to rest my eyes.

* * *

I know, I know you all want to know if he wakes up, and well, the next update won't be long, and it comes with the epilogue!

In the meantime, you can let me know what you think. Any theories? What about Kyzer and his secret? 

Thank you so much for reading. Please don't forget to vote & comment!