K E I R A
Moscow, Russia

"What if I want this to stop?" I swallowed, wiggling my hand between us. I didn't miss the way his hold around my throat tightened ever so slightly and his hooded gaze narrowed, his eyelashes sweeping across his cheeks beautifully. He tugged at my hair, forcing me to keep my eyes locked on his as my breasts brushed against his crisp shirt, oh so deliciously.

The side of his lip rose as his eyes went dark in a way that said 'checkmate' and I hadn't even heard what he had to say yet, "If you want it to stop... tell me you love me,"

"That isn't fair!"

"Tough shit, life isn't fair!" He leaned forward, trailing the tip of his tongue down the column of my throat, and I lost the ability to think. He brought all of my whims and desires back to how much I wanted his hands on me like gravity. I wanted to fall for it. Wanted to live in his hate, and breathe it like my personal medal until he realized he only wished he hated me. "So what's it going to be?"

My eyes fluttered close as his kisses went from subtly violent to savage, his teeth nipping my skin. My thighs quivered when his hand inched up my thighs, disappearing beneath my dress, and brushing against the lace of my panties. We hissed as my wetness coated his fingers, and he kept on circling my entrance through the fabric. I was certain my legs would have given up if he hadn't been holding me. It was all too much, and I found that I couldn't breathe without breathing him in nor did I want to, however, it was overwhelming. Unlike the other times Nikolai had been close to me, he hadn't turned me around so as to not look at my face. Now he stood merely inched away from me, his mouth lingering above mine expectantly, and his eyes seared into my soul with their cool intensity.

"What if you say it?" His fingers stilled against my wetness as I whispered, not even sure if I wanted him to answer it.

A dark look crossed his eyes before he steeled himself again, "I won't—"

I pressed my fingers against his lips, stopping him from saying anything. "I think I'd like to hold onto a sliver of hope for a little longer."

"Suit yourself." His fingers twined around my wrist and he pulled my hand away, dropping it at my side as he held my jaw with his other hand, "you'll be thoroughly disappointed."

"Then I'll be disappointed."

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

"I don't need your warnings, Niko." I gasped dramatically, "oh, wait, is that off-limits too?"

He tilted his head, assessing me with dare I say, amusement? His silence irked me, the mayhem behind his leaden irises killed me, but for the life of me, I wanted him. I wanted him so much that it hurt, and after eight years I didn't care that his venomous love would end up killing me. I just cared that if I'd had to die, it would be better if it was by his hand.

So I gave him my answer. I crashed my lips against his bruisingly. However, I didn't get to keep my control as Nikolai tilted his head, the anger behind each stroke of his lips against mine apparent and delivered right to me with ferocity. His tongue tore past my lips without warning, and a low whimper escaped my lips when his hand left my jaw to fondle my breasts. My back arched as I pushed myself further towards him, and my mouth fell open to scream, but no voice left me as he took every single moan of mine with a swipe of his tongue against mine. He kissed me with the sole purpose to steal my sanity and make me beg, and I would if only it meant that he'd keep kissing me like this.

I hadn't realized that he'd been backing us up inside the room, and when the back of my legs collided against the side of the bed, and that moment before hitting the soft sheets when I was in the air? It felt a lot like falling for him.

I'd fallen for Nikolai when I was a girl, and he was a boy.

I'd kept secrets from him during our marriage, inevitably breaking us apart.

I'd also broken him. Broken us.

But in this moment with his hands holding me firm, and as he landed on his elbows above me, his face buried into my neck, his hands wandering everywhere from my tits to my ass. I fell again. Just this time I fell for this broken, dark man who was scared of himself the same way he was scared of this.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have thought I could fix us. I supposed it was easy to forget that you couldn't catch sand. It always, always slipped through your fingers, and before you knew it, you were left empty-handed, staring at the unforgiven souvenirs of what had once been a fond memory.

Nikolai hissed when I untucked his shirt and slipped my hands beneath the cool fabric, moaning when my fingers slid across his warm, almost feverish skin. Wanting more, I moved my hands until I was fumbling with his belt, and once I'd successfully loosened it, and undone his fly, I slipped my hand through his pants and boxer briefs, my fingers stroking his hardness. Nikolai bit down on my lips, and when I felt a metallic tang, I knew he'd drawn blood.

I suppose it was only fair our kisses simmered with the same violence that ran in our blood, but I didn't feel pain. Surprisingly all I felt was liberated, and euphoric. With his body weight on top of mine, this was the happiest I'd been in years. He hissed as my fingers tightened around his shaft, lifting his head to meet my eyes. And then he took my bottom lip in his mouth, his tongue caressing the bruise he left barely minutes ago with reverence. I hadn't realized when he'd yanked my dress up along with my bra, but the cool air brushing against my nipples, and I cried out when he closed his mouth around one of my nipples, rolling the other between his fingers. Nikolai twisted my nipple unforgivingly as he continued his assault on my other breast with his tongue and teeth driving me to the brink of insanity.

My mouth hung open when he jammed his leg between mine, crushing his thigh against my clit. He pulled himself up, his face hovering above mine, his eyes wild with the madness simmering behind them. I moaned as I continued rocking my hips against his thigh, and his eyes flicked between my thighs, unapologetically staring at where my soaked panties had caused a wet spot on his slacks. "Tell me, Keira, is this what you think about when you fuck yourself...?" He leaned down, his weight holding me down, his muscles pressing against mine. "Or when you let others fuck you?" The possessive growl in his voice making my chest ache with a need that I wasn't sure would be satisfied by anything but him.

I hadn't expected the rage to wash over me at his question, however, he didn't give me a chance to say anything as he smashed his lips against mine, forcing me to drink in his pain all while I fed him my rage straight through my lips. He hissed when I grazed my nails against his cock, moving my hand down his angry length. His tongue danced with mine, stealing any curses I might have had for him. My tongue tangled with his with the same fervor, feeling the unmistakable greed to have him all for myself.

"Nikolai!" A gasped broke through my lips as he pulled away, breathing hard.

"I have." He growled, his nose brushing against mine in an act of gentleness I hadn't expected from him. "I've imagined every woman to be you. I've seen you everywhere, and fucking wished if I could just touch you again,"

His words almost made me believe that maybe this road might save us after all. I just failed to see all I did for him was open old wounds, and soon he'd make my scars bleed too and because love had made me naïve, I'd let him.

His delicious form pinned me as he took my lips with his again, thrusting into my palm, as I rocked against his thighs, however, it wasn't enough. I needed him, inside of me, around me, consuming me.

"Nikolai, I need you to fuck me." His heady eyes met mine again, imploring, and I responded by fumbling with the buttons on his shirt, tugging at it when they wouldn't open, and sent the tiny buttons flying around us.

"Oh, don't you worry, I'm going to fuck you." He rubbed his thumb against my bottom lip, "first I'll take your cunt," he yanked my soaked panties down my legs, and his briefs and slacks followed, "then, I'll take this mouth of yours," his voice lowered as he pushed his thumb past my lips in my mouth, he didn't give me a chance to do anything as he started moving his digit, completely taking over. My stomach tightened as he increased his assault on me by running his thumb around my clit, his fingers tracing my slit, oh so enticingly. "I'll make you choke on my cock, until you cry, and then you'll swallow every last drop when I fill you with my cum." He slapped my pussy, and the tiny bite of pain had a myriad of sensations I'd never felt before took a hold of me, and I thought I was going insane. Every last thought of mine boomeranged back to him, almost like he held me in a choke-load. I hooked my hand around his throat and brought his lips down on mine, this time sucking his bottom lip into my mouth. I inhaled his dark flavor as I imprinted him onto my memory forevermore.

My clit throbbed with need, and my back arched as I sought the pleasure Nikolai kept dangling in front of my face. So, I did the only thing I could with the molten desire running through me, I ran my thumb over his slippery crown, and he rocked into my palm, groaning into our kiss. My lips closed around his earlobe, and before I realized what was happening, my teeth grazed his skin. He hissed, then pulled back, spreading my thighs as he settled between them, the head of his cock grazing my clit. Tremors ran through my body as every last nerve ending came alight with the anticipation of him finally being inside me. Nikolai met my gaze, the steel in his slowly melting to an obsidian I didn't mind getting lost in, and I whimpered, angling my hips and the head of his cock slipped inside. Barely.

Nikolai sucked in a breath as he sheathed himself inside me, and my pussy clenched against him. Instinct made me wrap my legs around him as he pulled back until his head remained then thrust inside me forcefully, pushing me up the bed. I ran my nails down his back, arching against him, and when something warm touched my fingertips I knew I might've drawn up blood.

"Claw at my back, little wolf, I'll wear it like a fucking medal," His gruff, whiskey voice was enough to make my pussy throb. Nikolai took that as his cue and buried himself deeper, his thrusts unrestrained, and I rocked my hips into his, matching his cruel rhythm. Nikolai bit up my neck, towards my jaw and I cried out as every inch of him claimed me, overwhelmed me with the aphrodisiac he was. His arms tightened around me, and this time when he thrust particularly hard, my vision turned black as a sound I couldn't believe was mine escaped my lips. My orgasm bloomed, a slow hymn taking over my entire being so maddeningly, and oh, so slowly. I lost myself as he drove into me with an unrelenting pace, and my fingers tangled themselves into his hair as our tongues tangled together in a dance they hadn't forgotten even after all these years.

My mouth hung open against his and I lost my mobility as he overwhelmed all of my senses. His fingers dug in my ass as he powered into me, grunting as he did so. He groaned lowly, taking me savagely with his tongue in my mouth, and his cock inside my pussy. My heart hammered inside my chest, all the air left my lungs, and I tore my mouth from his, sinking my teeth into the side of his neck as I tightened my legs around his hips, impaling myself as much as I could on his length. "Come for me, Keira,"

Almost like the raspiness in his voice was the only thing I needed, my orgasm hit me like a tsunami, and I lost my voice as he pressed his forehead against mine, still moving inside me as tremors racked my body. I moaned as I shattered in his arms.

I hadn't gotten a chance to come back to myself when he crawled up my body, and settled over my face, his knees on both sides of my face. I gasped as he grabbed his very hard cock in his hand, and ran the head coated with both out tastes over my lips. "Now, now," his hand caressed my hair oh so softly before his grip tightened and I gasped at the slight throbbing pain erupting through my head. "Why don't I make good on my second promise of choking you on my cock," He tore past my lax lips, and thrust inside, hitting the back of my throat.

"Tap my thigh twice if you want me to stop,"

Nikolai used my mouth exactly as he'd promised and it wasn't long before drool and tears were running down my face. He didn't allow me any air, pulling out only for a fraction of a second before driving back in. My pussy ached for something as my jaw went numb from his assault. I didn't think he'd stop anytime soon, but then he pulled back and asked me to open my mouth. And then he came, hot beads of it spraying all over my mouth and shit.

"Lick every last drop," I ran my tongue over my lips, too dazed to even register the taste or the fact that I was tasting both of us right now. Nikolai leaned down and kissed me savagely, his tongue plundering my mouth as a sharp sting registered across my clit, and I realize he'd slapped me again. He rubbed the heel of his palm against my swollen core, and the friction was enough for the euphoria to take me under all over again.

I was still breathing harsh when he pulled back and started putting his clothes back over his body. "You're leaving...?" I barely recognized the need in my voice, but Niko's eyes narrowed, and I knew that the moment was gone. He was no longer just Niko. My Niko.

The man that stood before was Nikolai Chernov, and he was every bit cold as the coolest December winds.

"I don't know what you thought, but I fucked you, and you came." He yanked my legs until they were dangling off the edge of the bed, and his fingers dug into my jaw. Even the crazed lust was long gone from his gaze, and my heart filled with longing. An ache filled with the need to see that man again. The very one whose body covered mine as we'd surrendered to our whims. "That is the only thing happening between us."

And then he turned around and left me with the remnants of his cum on my lips, and the burning memory of his cock inside my cunt.

In that moment, the epiphany washed over me that he wasn't the man I'd loved. That man was dead.

And all I did by thinking they were the same people was ruin the memory of my Niko, and if I didn't stop doing that I'd ruin myself faster than Nikolai Chernov ever could.
The irony was I didn't know if I could stop.
The scariest part?
I didn't think I wanted to.

* * *

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