N I K O L A I

Moscow, Russia

I'd always known I had it in me, the ruthlessness of my ancestors wasn't something that could be erased by sending me to Seattle with my American grandmother. Keira didn't know much about my bloodline, or my involvement with the Chicago Bratva, and I'd like to keep it that way. This used to be the only secret of mine she wasn't privy to, but now that I think about all the lies between us, I'm forced to think if all we were was ghosts in the same bedeviled castle of dreams, forever fated to be nothing more than a haunting memory.

I might always be unable to forget my love for her, however, I'd always remember the hatred she injected in me in form of countless lies she'd been telling me for the years we'd been together. It was ironic, considering that I'd kept my secrets too, but unlike hers, their shadows weren't chasing me, rather I surrendered to the violence in my blood because she fooled me.

Keira had refused to break her vow of silence the last time she was with me, and while her unwavering loyalty impressed me, it also antagonized me beyond belief. After all these years, she just continued choosing power over and over again, not even bothering to take a second look at all the broken things she'd left behind. Two weeks ago when I'd kicked her out of my club, I promised myself I would stop seeking her for all the truths she'd been stubbornly concealing from me, and cunningly using the love that once tied us together to manipulate me so I'd start orbiting her again. However, I was past the foolishness called loving her, after all, it's in fire's nature to incinerate anything in its path regardless of the volatility of the wind around it.

So here I was two weeks later, knowing everything she wouldn't tell me anyway as Ivan had provided me with all the information about Astley, or more specifically, Angelo Esposito. I now knew why the Pentagon needed me, they wanted me to create a distraction by openly supporting these bastards. The Chicago Bratva's concurrence with them would force Esposito's hand, forcing him to air his dirty laundry. I hadn't figured out what they could accomplish by exposing the atrocities Esposito had committed behind the Outfit.

He was their Capo, staging a coup behind his back wasn't a child's play, and it certainly wasn't something the Pentagon could accomplish on its own. They were too insignificant to rattle the Italians, and there was no way the Pakhan in Chicago would agree with this asinine plan, not that he'd need much persuasion if I stepped in. There were endless possibilities as to how all this could play out, and I didn't want to waste the whole day planning for the consequences of something hypothetical at best.

Alexei barged in my office like he owned the place, and I found myself wondering yet again how he'd managed to stay alive for so long, "What is it?"

"I have two news," He grimaced, "One is unfortunate, and the other I'm afraid has the potential of making you murderous," I arched my brow, silently urging him to get on with his dramatics, "Which one shall I divulge first?"

"For fuck's sake, Alexei,"

"Alright, the unfortunate one first got it," His theatrics grated every last nerve of mine, and while I wasn't concerned about the apparently distressing news, I was curious about them, "Kyzer Knight showed up, willingly threw his weapons out, and wants to meet you. He says he has something you want. What the fuck is that about? I thought you were only dealing with one Knight by bedding her," He arched his brow, and I found myself ignoring his imploring gaze as I rubbed my jaw, thinking of all the possible reasons Kyzer would've shown up at my doorstep. I didn't believe he hadn't known about me and Keira, however, I was almost certain Keira forbade anyone from reaching me, afraid her secret would get a voice of its own and escape the prison of her lies.

"Let him in," By the looks of it, Alexei wasn't surprised by my response, if anything it looked like he knew that'd be what I'd decide.

"He's already on his way in," Alexei winked as I shook my head and took my seat behind the table, and crossed my legs, waiting for Kyzer to enter, "By the way, Keira gave my men the slip, we're trying to locate her, but so far it's been unsuccessful."

I pinched the bridge of my nose in exasperation, "Find her before the day is out, Alexei," I looked him in the eye, making sure he knew this wasn't something I'd even remotely entertain his humor on, "We'll talk more once Kyzer leaves. I don't want to bring this up with him here." He nodded just as a knock sounded on the door, and I motioned for Alexei to leave. Alexei turned to leave, and let Kyzer in, closing the door behind him.

"I suppose it was foolish on my part to expect a warm welcome," Kyzer muttered, and leisurely took a seat across from me, not bothered that I hadn't asked him to sit.

"Why would I welcome someone I clearly want dead?"

"Come on," Kyzer shook his head, chuckling darkly, his green eyes that reminded me so much of Keira were alight with sinister shadows I wasn't quite familiar with. "That's no way to treat family, considering you married my sister back when she wanted to play happily ever after." I clenched my fist, knowing all he wanted was to get under my skin like his sister, still being unable to reign my temper.

"What do you want?" I managed to grit out, holding onto my control by a very thin thread. At that, any humor blotted out from his face as determination took over, and that's when I realized Kyzer Knight was more fucked up than anyone I'd ever come across and that was saying something because the monster he'd been hiding beneath his clothes was lethal.

"The same thing as you," The side of his curled up into a lopsided smirk as he continued to bait me, and if I hadn't mastered these ruses to manipulate, I would've given in to his hand long ago.

"And what might that be?" Deciding to play his game, I humored him as I got up from my seat, and moved to the bar in the other corner of my office, poured two drinks for us, and returned to the table.

"In the grand scheme of things, I know you want Keira." He shrugged nonchalantly as if he couldn't care less about what I did with his sister. "And I also know she's gotten too comfortable lying so I'll indulge the information she refuses to," I smirked, wishing I could tell him this incentive didn't work for me anyone, and I didn't want to keep Keira, I wanted to break her brick by fucking brick until I stripped her down to skin and bone, and there was nothing left.

"I'm no longer interested in this information,"

"Of course, clearly you're aware of Astley origins," He sipped on his drink, challenging me to deny what he was saying. Kyzer Knight was quite resourceful if I must admit, however it seemed like he wasn't sagacious enough to avoid an outright confrontation since all he'd done for the last twenty minutes was try to bait me.

"So what if I was?"

"Then you must also be aware that he is a greedy bastard with a vendetta against..." He paused, seemingly considering his next words, but I knew better than to take that as anything but a farce. Kyzer Knight was too peculiar to be at a loss of words unless that was the impression he wanted, "I could tell you he's after the Pentagon, but that wouldn't be true. He has a vendetta against me and Keira."

"And why does this concern me?"

A somber expression crossed his face, "You can pretend you don't give a shit about Kiera, and maybe others believe you, however, I don't. You want to ruin her, and I can see it in you, but you can only do it if she's alive."

"She's been dead to me for years," I settled for insouciance, unwilling to let someone like him see past my walls.

Kyzer shook his head, the seriousness now gone from his face, "I'm not going to be your therapist as you lay your guts out for me," He chuckled, his eyes narrowing at me, "You want intel, I want a partner I can rely on, it's just that simple."

"I don't trust you enough to do business with you," I dead-panned, ignoring his proposition, "Besides, I don't see how I could assist you," I feigned ignorance, waiting to see how much he'd share.

"You're a Chernov, and let's be real, the estranged prince act isn't working anymore." Kyzer arched his brow as if my last name explained everything. I suppose it did since it took a monster beneath one immaculate suit to recognize the other, "However, I'll give it to you, you're smart," Kyzer traced his jaw with his hand, "I'll give you something for your honesty, the others in the Pentagon need to die, and to do that I need assistance since I can't be associated with it." Now that piqued my curiosity. Yes, I was angry, but I wasn't a fool to not know an opportunity when it was right in front of my face. Yet, working with someone who'd been planning to get his so-called partners off the track wasn't very reliable.

"Killing your associates isn't persuading me to work with you, if only it makes you too volatile for me to support,"

"I'm not killing them to appease myself. In the grand scheme of things, they were always pawns, cushions if we had to take a fall if you would. Their death would blindside Astley, and that's all I need to make up a plan." It was then that it dawned on me, he wanted to buy time, which only meant one thing, Kyzer Knight was as clueless as the rest of us, and right now he was trying every tactic in the book to catch his opponent making a mistake. As it seemed like the devil on his shoulder wasn't much different from mine. However trusting him was another thing altogether, he hadn't even tried to hide that he could any lengths to get what he wanted, even if it meant selling the rest of his partners out.

"How do you suppose you can kill them?"

"Before I answer that I need to know if I can trust that you won't go back on your word."

"I haven't given you my word."

"Exactly," A triumphant smile broke on his face, and despite knowing better, I knew that if I had any chances of figuring out what the fuck had been going on behind my back I'd find them by working with this fucker.

"Fine, but you so much as try to whistle-blow me and I'll kill you," I said, offering him my hand, and he took it in his firmly.

"If I planned to deceive you, I wouldn't leave you alive to come after me." The fucker had the nerve to wink as I pulled my hand back, pocketing it as I observed him.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that he had an ulterior motive for approaching me, and until I found out what that was I'd play along with him because as much as he masqueraded to be in control there was an insanity to him, one that should have made me doubt him, however for some reason it made it easier to see through his strong façade.

"Zavod is too arrogant for his own good." Kyzer started as he interlaced his fingers between his chin, "He doesn't have many guards with him, and the ones he has aren't loyal to him. It would be convenient to get a mercenary to take him out."

"Are you sure they'd be credible?" He leaned back, appearing lost in thought, however, something told me he was probably plotting out how it would all play out to utmost precision in his head.

***

After discussing his plans for the other three members of the Pentagon, Kyzer left, and before I could have had a minute to myself Alexei barged in, however, he didn't have his usual spunk to him, if anything he seemed antsy.

"Your little Knight vanished into thin air," I straightened at that, grinding my jaw to not show my indignation at this, "There's no paper trail, and it seemed like no one has seen her." That only meant one thing, Keira hadn't left Moscow, or if she had it hadn't involved the use of any public transport, and her brother might be a key player in her disappearance. Fucking bastard had to ensure he made his point about me wanting Keira for whatever selfish reasons I had.

It didn't make any sense for her to leave, the only thing she'd been trying the past few weeks was to earn my forgiveness, whatever scrap I could offer her anyway. My blood boiled with rage at my inability to keep her even after all these years.

"I want her found, Alexei," I managed to reply without breaking Alexei's bones. It wasn't the fault of his men, I knew how proficient Keira was in making herself scarce.

"Isn't it a good thing that she left?" Alexei took a seat in front of me, pulled his feet on the table, and despite my warning glare he didn't remove them, almost like he was making a point, "Not to be a dick but you've been losing it ever since you met her, she's just a hot piece—"

"Not another word," I raised my hand, stopping him, not even caring that this was breaking everything I'd been fighting to build for years. At that moment I didn't even remember all the reasons I'd hidden who she was to me.

"I don't get you, Nikolai," Alexei removed his feet from the table, straightened, and met my gaze with his imploring one, "Do you love her? Is that it?"

His question baffled me, there was no doubt in my mind that I'd loved her eight years ago, but what I felt, for now, wasn't love. It was something dark and twisted that blossomed from the remains of the ashes of my longing for her. Seeing her for the first time after mourning her for years had hurt, it still did, almost like a thorn that'd been buried too far deep inside my skin to remove, but now I had this incandescent need to ruin her, to break her as I did, still, I couldn't deny the burning desire I still felt in her presence. Maybe the only thing remaining of our love was lust, and I just had to fuck her out of my system one last time but to do that I had to find her first. I'd told her she couldn't run from me, and this time when I'd get her back in my arms, I'd make sure she wouldn't be able to leave me again. She'd come to me on her terms, but she wouldn't leave until I was done with her.

I cleared my throat, deciding what I had to tell Alexei. Keira was nobody to me, and that was her punishment for all the times she killed me while I continued to breathe, "I don't,"

"You took your sweet-fucking-time answering that," Alexei arched his brow disbelievingly, "your wedding ring is gone too. I've known you for eight fucking years and in all those years you never removed it even once, so don't fucking fool me. Tell me what's happening."

The mark the ring had left behind burned, and I couldn't help but touch the naked skin of my finger grievingly, "I realized keeping a souvenir wouldn't bring her back,"

"Fuck it," Alexei grumbled, shot up from his seat, and approached me, "I'll tell you why you took it off, Nikolai." I smirked, inclining my head to eye from my sitting position as I fisted my hand at my side, "You took it off because that souvenir reminded you of the torment she put you through when she faked her death."

Only then did I notice how fast my heart had been beating inside my chest or how I could hear my own blood in my veins. Up until now I hadn't wanted anyone to know how foolish I'd been when I'd fallen hook, line, and skinner for Keira Knight, for all her lies that part of her had been mine, but now he knew, and it was only a matter of time until everyone found out.

"I have half a mind to fucking punch you for lying to us!" Alexei ran his hands in his hair as I stood up and walked to the floor-length window in the other corner of the room. "Were you ever going to tell us?" I understood his anger, however, there wasn't much I could've done. Yes, I'd lied, and I didn't know if I ever wanted her to be more than my past, and keeping her return to myself had allowed me to return to the better days, at least when I'd been with her.

"Tell you what?" I turned around, matching his exasperated stare with mine, "That I got betrayed by my wife? Or that I didn't know she was alive all these years I was mourning her? What the fuck was I supposed to say?"

Alexei pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing, "Well this is a fucking joke,"

"No shit,"

"I'll find her, but you need to tell others before this blows out of proportion, and put a goddamn leash on her. It is only a matter of time before this spreads, and once it does it could either be the ace up your sleeve or the dagger in your back. Choose what to do wisely, boss." I didn't hear much after that except when he left and the door clicked shut.

And once again as I found myself in the depths of my despair, I vowed that this time when I'd get my arms around her, I'd tie her to my bed so this time she really knew who the fuck was in control. Keira Knight might run to the other corner of the world, it still wouldn't change the fact that she belonged to me. However, whether she had me or not was still up for debate.

♤ ♡ ◇ ♧

My friend kingkatewrites made this stunning edit for Keira, and I'm in love with it. Also, if you haven't already, check out her books, they're amazing. And if you're a fan of paperbacks, she just published her debut novel, Beyond The Blood, check that out it's beautifully written, and the cover is insanely gorgeous!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it's been a while so I hope it was worth the wait. I'm hoping the updates will get more frequent soon as my exams are over, but I can't promise anything since I'm rewriting two books offline. In the meantime, hit me with your theories!

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