K E I R A

Moscow, Russia

"Then I kill you,"

His ruthless words continued playing inside my head on a loop, no matter what I did, I couldn't shake off the hatred in his silver gaze. The same icy eyes that once looked at me with so much warmth and adoration were just cold. I'd known something about that stranger who took me mere days ago was familiar like he was the missing piece I'd found but lost again because I didn't hold on tight. He was Niko. My Niko. Except that he was no longer the man I married years ago.

This man was corrupt. Reveled in sin, and I was the shadow that pulled him under, beyond the veil of shadows to a lethal world. Where monsters didn't hide behind wealth, it was the playground of monsters, and Nikolai Chernov was the fucking ringleader. It wasn't hard to see it, his posture, his rugged beauty was a reminder of all the things he'd seen and done.

Then why couldn't I see him for the rival that he was? If we were no longer the people we once were (as he so helpfully reminded me) why was I falling to pieces thinking that he couldn't stand me.

Out of all the scenarios I'd imagined for our nearly impossible reunion, seeing hatred in his frozen gaze wasn't one of them. I'd imagined flames, a deep fall, and perhaps finding each other again. Still, something told me he was still a broken man underneath those suits, and it was my fault.

I couldn't compare his pain to mine, our agonies might've been the same, but their melodies were different; hearts never broke even after all.

"Keira, what do you think?" I heard Kyzer call out to me, and turned my attention back towards the conversation we were having. Fuck, I'd zoned out again, and this wasn't the time to make mistakes, not when Nikolai was watching for me to slip.

"About what?" I asked, my gaze moving between the other four.

"About Chernov, I want his head off his body," Maxim groaned like a teenager, and I rolled my eyes. No matter who he was, none of them were getting their hands around his throat, not even if he had his gun on my head.

I'd protected him once, and ripped both our hearts out in the process. I'd protect him again, even if it meant the muscle inside my chest would stop beating.

"Yeah, and how would you do that, Maxim?" Kyzer mocked in his oxford accent. I thought he'd lost it over the years like me, "He nearly made you piss your pants, sit your arse down."

Maxim opened his mouth to argue, but Maria cut him, "Shut up," She turned to Kyzer, "Both of you. Keira, you went after him, which if I must say was a mistake, now tell me did you manage to catch him?"

"No," The lie came to me naturally, too easily. Maybe Niko did have reasons to hate me, I was a liar. I ruined our happiness. I showed him smoke and mirrors. He might've been the villain that answered the pleas of desperate people, but I was the villain of his life. "And it doesn't matter," I quickly added, "He's vengeful, why did you think threatening him on his turf was a good idea?"

"Because he's a beggar amongst aristocrats, a little money won't change that." Oh, if only Maria knew, he had what none of us did, hostility in his heart, all we had was a legacy that bound us.

"Your problem always was underestimating the enemy," Kyzer added leisurely as he leaned back in his seat, looking bored, "I suggest since we screwed it up, let's leave, for now, I don't know about you, but I intend to live another day."

"He can't kill us," Maxim added.

"Logically he can," Jacob spoke up, his fingers tracing his jaw, "We're in his territory, without any reinforcements to show our willingness for the truce, which your immaturity ruined, Zavod, so while we look for prospective solutions to the mess you made, I suggest you sit your fucking useless cunt down."

That was Jacob. Quiet. Observant. Deadly in his approach. Maxim huffed but otherwise didn't say anything.

"You all need to leave before dawn." I pointed at them, Jacob raised a brow but otherwise stayed silent, letting me continue, "All of us here will alert Chernov. I'll stay undercover, and perhaps try and find a weakness, if not I can try to get him to work with us." It wasn't a complete lie, we did need Nikolai's help with Astley, and I had to try and fix us because now that I knew he was a part of this world because of me, even if I'd did everything in my power to protect him, I couldn't imagine living without him. So if he'd kill me, I'd die happy, knowing I got to see him again, but I couldn't leave knowing that I fucked up another chance to be with him.

"And you're qualified for this?" Maria leaned forward, her eyes narrowing on me.

"Yes, I was the only one who went into hiding and managed to stay hidden for years. All of you fucked up one way or the other, or need I remind you of all the speculations about us when there never should've surfaced," Maria scowled, but nodded, as did Jacob.

"I don't see anything wrong with this plan, it could work, but Keira we don't have much time." I nodded, thankful that they didn't look through my façade, not like they'd managed to do that for the last eight years.

"I can't let you stay here alone," Kyzer growled, finally straightening in his chair.

"It's not up to you, Kyzer." Despite the harsh nature of my words, I softened my voice for my brother, "I can do this, and we need his help to gain back control, and get rid of Arrow. All I need is three months then you can come to check up on me." Putting a time frame on this was stupid, but rationality was the last thing on my mind where Nikolai was concerned. All I wanted was a chance to create a situation where he was just a boy, and I just a girl meeting at a college party, and bonding over a cigarette. A cigarette that I offered him, and he threw it down.

A silent message passed between us, signaling that it wasn't over, and I nodded. I couldn't let Kyzer figure it out, now all I had to do was dodge him for the next five hours until he got on the plane with the rest of them.

"Okay." He nodded, his jaw tight with tension, his eyes blazing with anger, questions, and doubts.

I knew this conversation wasn't over. He was onto me, he had been for a while. I knew it because he'd been asking questions about the four years we spent in hiding, but I wouldn't tell him. I couldn't. Nikolai was my secret. My salvation. And what I had with him wasn't for anybody else. It was ours in its broken deadly glory, even if it was nearly dying.

There was something I knew, this time I'd fight for him, for us, after all, I wasn't known for making the same mistakes twice. I wasn't an idiot, I knew it would be hard, the resentment he held for me was just the tip of the iceberg. There was a thin line between love and hate, one didn't exist without the other because even while you love someone, you hate them for being someone you could never forget should they ever leave you.

Emotions are foolish. Fickle. Still unavoidable, if there was a way to strip myself of them, I would've done that years ago, instead we were forced to brave the pain, to face the consequences of our actions, to breath in the pain with every breath we took.

Nikolai might think he knew me, and he wouldn't be wrong, but I knew him too. We had unfinished business, our love might've been like the wolf's love for the moon. Impossible. Painful. Beautiful. Seeing him again had brought things I'd long been burying into focus. Breathing without him was like building a fire without ashes, one was the calling of destruction, the other symptom of ruination, both deadly; both dead without the other.

I'd sentenced him to an infinite hell, and now I had to be the one to bring him back. It was a long shot, but this time I wouldn't run away, I'd fight for us. Fuck, I'd even fight him to remind him that he was mine just as much as I was his. Nikolai Chernov might hate me, but my Niko still loved me; the hardest part was bringing Niko to the surface when he'd been buried six feet under in Nikolai's thoughts.

♤ ♡ ◇ ♧

I finally breathed a sigh of relief after they left, Kyzer had tried talking to me, but I'd brushed him off. I had nothing to tell him, at least not until I figured out what was going to happen. Not when all I had were plans, plans that were wishfully conjured. Plans that a heartbroken woman made, and ones that were set for failure.

I'd seen the hate in his eyes, the warning, but still, I refused to believe that he would kill me. I knew I was gambling with my life, betting on the love I tainted, but this time I had to stay. Running didn't get me far, it ruined everything, now the only man I'd ever loved hated me, and I didn't want him to. I'd left him for entirely selfish reasons. I'd feared he'd hate me if he knew who I was, and the others would want to kill him—which they wanted to do anyway.

It seemed like all I'd done was run in circles, and now everything I spent years building was falling apart, brick by brick, and all I could do was watch it fall like a flightless bird.

I roamed around the airport way after their plane had taken off, I needed to change my hair before I left this place in case Niko had his men on all of us. I loved him, but I still wouldn't give him room to make me a pawn, we were playing now, and I'd started this debauchery, so I would be the one to end it. Not him.

After I'd managed to change my appearance, I walked out of the airport and hailed a cab as any other tourist would. Stranger. That's all I was here, even if the man who once was my home lived here.

Silence greeted me the moment I entered the penthouse, ironically enough it had never really bothered me before, but today all my scars were bleeding, and for some reason, it felt good to feel that way.

If a wedding was supposed to be the happy ending then I'd single-handedly set us up for destruction. Now the fumes of the poison I made were catching up to me, and the only person, who had the antidote wanted me dead. Or at least that was he told himself.

♤ ♡ ◇ ♧

If you'd told me I'd be sitting outside my husband's nightclub—the same man who thought I was dead for nearly a decade—I would've laughed in your face because the odds of us meeting again were slim. Fuck, they didn't exist. I might've been the one to destroy our destiny, but fate had played a cruel joke by bringing us together like this.

He was the soulmate I'd stolen, the only thing I'd taken, after living a life where I'd only ever lost, and then I was forced to give him up, but he didn't know that. He didn't know that leaving him was the hardest thing I'd done.

I stiffened when movement at the entrance caught my eye way after midnight, and leaned back in my seat, hiding in the shadows of the night. Nikolai left the club in the same suit he was wearing earlier, except that his jacket was gone, and sleeves rolled up to his forearms. He was the same man yet so different, and it wasn't because of all the years he'd aged. He had a neatly trimmed beard now, jet black hair slicked back, save a few strands that fell on his forehead, shielding his ghostly eyes from view. Two other men followed him out, I knew them from the meeting, but their names were something else.

The dark-haired guy had his eyes glued to his phone, but the blonde one was skeptical, his gaze dancing around the area for potential threats. Nikolai, however, couldn't be bothered, he waited for the valet to bring his car, then got in the BMW and drove off, the other two following him in a different car. After they'd turned the corner, I pushed the start button and went in the direction they had.

It was hard tailing them while keeping my distance, but I managed to keep up, and only slowed, killing the engine when we entered a posh neighborhood, both the cars went inside a highly fortified mansion, and the gates closed behind them. It was only then that I released my breath. I knew where he lived, all I has to do was ensure I came here in a few hours and followed him around the next day.

I needed to know the players before I made my move, I'd been stupid once, and I wouldn't be making the same mistake twice.

♤ ♡ ◇ ♧

For the last three days, I'd been Nikolai's shadow, but surprisingly his routine had been pretty bland, it made me wonder if he knew I was onto him. He hardly went anywhere besides his mansion, the club, or a restaurant he frequented for lunch. It made me suspicious, but there was nothing I could do besides being more careful, which I thought I was being, until today.

The elevator doors slid open as I stepped into the large living room, overlooking the skyline. Now it wasn't as dreamy as New York was but it was a different world in its own, majestic, mysterious, and haunting. I should have noticed who was sitting in the dark. I should have sensed that I wasn't alone, but I didn't.

"I have to say, you surprised me, little wolf." Shivers ran down my spine at his voice. Nikolai's voice, the same raspy voice that I'd fallen for, and I spun around, my eyes meeting his blazing silvers in the dark, "I expected you to run, Keira, so I could chase you. After all, I'd been watching you for days."

I thought I was the one with the upper hand, but just like that Nikolai Chernov unarmed me, and pointed my knife at me. 

♤ ♡ ◇ ♧

So what do you think?

Thoughts on Nikolai? Keira?

What are your theories?

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