After finishing her shift at the hospital, Cassie did some quick grocery shopping before she drove home and took a quick shower. It was already late so she slipped into her pyjamas, consisting of a simple, comfortable hot pant and a band shirt, and threw her hair into a messy bun.

Her eyes landed on the positive pregnancy test that lay on top of the washing machine, four more positive pregnancy tests next to the first one. After the first one turned out to be positive, she decided to get more from the store just to make sure. They still could be false, she knew that, but how big was the chance all of them failed? Besides, she felt nauseous since weeks, throwing up everyday for the last four days.

There was also a slight tugging in her abdomen, and a warm feeling⸺ which she found out, thanks to the internet, was one of the typical early symptoms of pregnancy.

She grabbed one of the tests and looked down at it, her eyes tiredly focused on the two lines while a thousand thoughts raced through her head. What would Happy say to the news? Would he be happy? Or rather be annoyed because both hadn't been careful enough? What if he wanted to keep the baby but she didn't? Would their relationship have a future at all then?

Shaking her head, she turned off the light in the bathroom and got downstairs where she put the pregnancy test on one of the chairs in the kitchen before she washed her hands and started cooking. Since she still felt a little nauseous and exhausted the brunette decided to make something easy and quick for dinner, ending up making Steaks with baked potatoes.

She wrinkled her nose as the smell of the meat as it was cooking hit her and made her nauseous again. Gemma had noticed that a few days ago when the two Old Lady's plus Lyla decided to cook together. The Queen had made a joking comment that made Cassie even consider taking a pregnancy test.

Luckily Benny and Lily were with Gemma today. Cassie had asked if she could babysit them until James was back to pick them up. Of course, Gemma was curious as to why the younger woman needed an evening off, but Cassie hadn't told her much about it. The brunette was already annoyed enough that she got weak in front of Tara and couldn't keep her mouth shut⸺ but she just had to get this off her chest.

Sometimes you had to accept help, even if you didn't want to. And Tara offered her to let it out. Which didn't mean that Cassie would forget everything the doctor did now, by no means. But it felt good not being judged for wanting an abortion.

Just as the food was ready, as if Happy smelled it, he walked through the door and took off his Kutte, which he hung on the hook by the door. Opie ran straight towards him in excitement, happily wagging his tail as he saw Happy was back home. The last few days had been exhausting, but now they would finally have some rest for a while. Even if he would have loved to throw Cassie over his shoulder and disappeared into the bedroom with her to make up for the missed days and to show her how much he had missed her, he was looking forward to a home cooked meal from his Old Lady, which he'd already smelled from outside.

After giving his pitbull the attention the he needed, he entered the kitchen and immediately wrapped his arms around the brunette from behind and left kisses on her shoulders and up to her neck. “I missed you, little girl”, he rasped in her ear and closed his arms tighter around her stomach. Feeling her body pressed against his made him sigh contentedly.

“I missed you too, baby.” Cassie just closed her eyes after she leaned into his embrace and swallowed softly. Her hands rested on the top of his forearms while he held her. “Sit down, dinner's ready”, she added softly before turning in his arms and press a soft kiss on his lips that he deepened for a moment.

Panting, the two broke apart after a few minutes after they had enjoyed being able to feel each other again. Only now that he was home again, did she realize how much she had missed him. For a moment she questioned if she should tell him about the pregnancy tonight or not, if she should enjoy the evening with him and not tell him about the news until tomorrow. But no, she had to do this today.

“How was the run? Are all of you okay?”, the brunette asked, a mixture of concern and curiosity in her tone, after she made everyone a plate, putting them on the table.

“Everyone's fine, don't worry. Everything went well and if we're lucky, we'll have our peace for the next few months. Which means no runs for a while.” Happy sat down and dipped the fork straight into his food, pleased to finally have something decent between his teeth again. He was really proud to have an old lady who was hot as hell, had a great personality and could cook. “Tastes good, babe.”

“Thank you”, she gave him a small smile, still feeling flattered when he complimented her. Her cheeks even blushed slightly before she let out a relived sigh. She knew what she signed up for, but that didn't mean she wasn't worried when they were on a run. Anything could happen while they were on the road. “That's great. You have no idea how happy I am about this.”

Even though she was young and had her life ahead of her, she knew she wanted Happy by her side. She has never been more sure of anything in her life than she is now in this relationship and she was afraid of losing Happy over her decision.

“I know, little girl”, he let out a sigh and put his fork down to reach out for her hand and take it in his calloused one. “I'm trying to find more time for you and do less dangerous stuff. Why don't we head to Tacoma and spend a few days there, hm?”

He knew how much she missed her hometown and now that he had more free time again he thought it was a good idea to go on a trip with her. This way they'd have time just for themselves, he could check on Kozik and his other brothers and make his Old Lady happy. It couldn't get much better.

The slightest smile hushed over his face as he watched her eyes lit up before she gave him a wide smile, nodding at him.

“That would be nice”, she told him, excitement lingering in her tone and eyes. “We could stay at that one nice Motel close to the woods where we stayed already a few years back. It's cheap, the food is good and the view is breathtaking!”

The brunette loved all the palm trees and the almost always nice weather, yet she missed the familiar smell of rain, the thunderstorms, the view of pine trees and the slightly cooler weather and quieter atmosphere. Even if she would spend the rest of her life here in Charming, Tacoma would always be her home.

“Guess we'll take the motel then”, he chuckled at her enthusiasm. The past few months were exhausting and with all the Kayla and Tara drama going on, he was glad to get out of this town for a few days and see his Old Lady be able to relax. “Book us a room, you decide how many days we stay. As far as I'm concerned we can stay a week, Kozik keeps asking when we're finally coming to visit.”

Cassie let out an amused laugh and nodded briefly. “Yeah, he texted me a few times and told me to drag your ass up there. I'm pretty sure he misses you and James but doesn't want to say it out loud.”

“I didn't know he's using my woman to get me up there”, Happy smirked, not mad at his friend at all. Kozik had always rooted for them and would never try anything with Cassie. So, he was okay with them texting each other.

“Well, there's a lot of things you don't know”, Cassie teased jokingly, enjoying their lighthearted conversation before the storm.

“You better tell me if you got any secrets, woman”, the SAA growled but the smirk on his face gave away he was just joking, too.

The brunette shook her head, laughing. Usually, their dinners were quiet and not many words were spoken until they finished their plates but tonight they had a lot to catch up on. Cassie told him about the last few days, how work was and how she had a nice evening with all the kids, Lyla and Gemma a few days ago, making it easier for her to relax a little. Happy told her where they were and what they did, only mentioning the things he was able to tell her. At the beginning of their relationship he decided he wanted her to know as many things as possible. Keeping shit from her wasn't what he wanted like some other brothers of his did with their Old Ladys.

While Cassie cleaned up, he leaned back and took the last few sips of his beer that Cassie had put in front of him before they started eating. Just when he allowed himself to relax his muscles a little, his eyes landed on the pregnancy test that lay on the chair next to him.

He quickly grabbed the stick and stared at the result. He strongly suspected that two dashes meant a positive test result. His breath caught in his throat as he still held the piece between his fingers, not sure how to feel. But one thing he knew⸺ he would be happy if his girlfriend was pregnant. Sure, a wave of panic also hit him like a truck. With his almost thirty-eight years he wasn't quite sure if he was ready to be a dad, but he'd accept the challenge.

Until he really got together with her, he couldn't imagine ever becoming a father. He never wanted to. But he never wanted an old lady either, now what? Now he couldn't imagine life without Cassie. Also, the thought of starting a family of his own made him proud.

“You're pregnant?”, he asked after the first shock wore off.

Cassie's blood froze in her veins as she dried the last plate and Happy's words reached her. Breathing shakily, she wiped her hands dry on the cloth and slowly turned around, her heart beating like crazy. Great, she had forgotten to hide the pregnancy test a little better before he came home.

“I⸺I am, yes”, she nodded slowly, deciding now was the best time to tell him. Well, it wasn't like she had an other chance. “I'm sorry. Tara said it probably happened shortly after the incident with Kyle. The drugs must've made the birth control pill less effective”, she added in a whisper, her head lowered as she stared at the tiled kitchen floor.

“Tara said?”, Happy huffed, quickly getting on his feet. He put the test on the table and walked over to his girlfriend, gripping her chin between his fingers and forcing her to look at him. “Why the hell does Tara know and I don't?”

“Because I threw up earlier and she was there. She kinda figured it out by herself. I⸺I really didn't want anyone to know before you, I just⸺I needed someone to talk, Happy. And telling you such news over the phone wasn't an option for me”, she stuttered her words and tried to keep her cool, but the hormones were messing with her emotions, which eventually led to her starting crying.

The SAA felt bad immediately for reacting so harsh after she mentioned Tara as he saw how upset it made her. It never bothered him seeing people burst out into tears, it just left him cold, except when it came to his Old Lady or the people he cared about.

“It's okay, little girl, I'm sorry”, he told her, heaving a deep sigh as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders to pull her against him. Running his hand through her hair and letting the scent of her fruity shampoo fill his nostrils, he processed the news about him actually becoming a father in a few months.

Then it hit him again⸺ the panic. He didn't know how far along she was but he knew that they needed a lot of stuff. They needed clothes, diapers, bottles, furniture for the baby, a room. Was the house even big enough? Sure, Cassie's house had a free room left that she was using as guest room at the moment, but they'd need to turn it into a nursery. But what if Benny or Lily would have to stay at her house for a while?

He came to the realization that the house was definitely too small. So they would also need a new one, which was associated with a lot of costs. Another reason that made his panic worse. He made enough money with the club, but he wanted to save most of it for emergencies. Now he had to buy a house. Would Cassie even want to move in with him? Basically, he was already living with her anyway. Almost all of his clothes, toiletries and other stuff were scattered around Cassie's house, though they never really talked about living together. All the questions and worries in his head almost drove him insane, but the joy of meeting his future son or daughter soon was worth it.

“I don't want to keep it.” Her soft words, murmured against his chest, hit him like a knife in the chest.

He gently pushed her away and stared at her in irritation, not sure what to say. He wanted the baby, she didn't. What now? He knew he didn't want her to choose an abortion, but it was still her body.

“The hell you're talking about, Cassie?”, he asked, his voice cold and low.

“That I want an abortion. I feel like shit for choosing this but Tara said I don't have to”, she chocked out, wrapping her arms around her slightly trembling body. The constant nausea and the lack of weed left her with little control over her own body. Even though she didn't want to keep the baby, she hadn't had the heart to light a joint since she found out about the pregnancy.

“Tara said, huh? Sounds like Tara fucked a lot with your mind.” Happy snorted a bitter laugh and rubbed a hand over his head, then over his face while turning his back to Cassie and resting his hands on the back of the chair. He knew he wasn't reacting fair towards her, he shouldn't make her feel bad for wanting an abortion⸺ but this was his baby, too.

“Happy please”, she almost begged, cautiously placing a hand on his arm after she approached him. “I didn't even know you wanted kids!”

He snatched his arm away, facing her a second later. The way he glared at her made her take a step back. Not because she was afraid but because she feared he didn't want her to be close to him right now. His reaction only messed with her feelings more and it seemed like she couldn't stop crying anymore at all. Her eyes started burning again just like in the morning from all the tears but not as bad as earlier since she wore no make up at the moment.

“I didn't. But with you I could imagine it. Guess it doesn't matter what I want, does it?”, he sneered. “Does it or not?”, he raised his voice at her after getting no answer, which was actually answer enough.

Cassie flinched as he raised his voice at her. Bending her head back a little and staring out of the window over the sink, she took a few deep breaths and wiped the tears off her cheeks. She felt even worse than in the morning, like she was the worst person in the world. She should be happy that he wanted the baby, that he'd support her through the pregnancy. He fucking wanted to raise that child with her and she was choosing an abortion.

“I'm really sorry, Happy. I'm not made to be a mother. A child deserves a stable family, but that isn't possible if the mother isn't able to ever be a good mom”, she told him between the many sniffles.

She couldn't even look at him as bad as she felt. Overwhelmed by the whole situation, she left the kitchen without another word, slipped into her Chucks in the hallway and grabbed her car keys before leaving the house as quickly as possible. She didn't even know where she was going, but she needed to go away for a few minutes to clear her head.

“Cassie!”, he yelled after her, no reaction.

“Get back in the house, Cassandra!” Happy followed her outside and grabbed her arm, earning a sharp hiss from her at his rough touch. He didn't mean to hurt her, he just couldn't let her leave, not after what she said. But the brunette snatched her arm out of his grip, slid into her car and drove off.

“Fuck!” The SAA kicked the trashcan at the side of the road causing it to fall over and get the attention of a few neighbors who gave him weird looks, yet none of them dared to say a word to him, not when he was like this.

Her words never left him and bored into his thoughts. Deep down, he knew she wanted the baby as well, but she was scared. Scared of failing as a mother, what her words had proved, and he needed to stop her from making what might be the biggest mistake of her life.

⸺

authors note; this was, like, a really long chapter, I'm sorry. Feedback is always welcome!

Let's see if she keeps the baby or not. Any guesses?