5 years later...

" papa! " the slim hands of a small figure clutched the black fabric of a blonde haired male, troubled with his own business.

the male turned his body unveiling his stern jawline and sharp eyes, but when his gaze came upon the young child. he only flashed a genuine smile, " what's wrong baby min? "

" letter for papa, " the small boy lifted his hand to show the white piece of paper with yellow spots over it, meaning that it was written a long time ago.

" let's read it together shall we? "

jeno's veiny hands encircled around soomin's tiny waist as the two travelled across the messy apartment. giggles and laughter followed throughout their mini journey.

lee soomin, an angel gifted to jeno during his lowest low. a new hope that strengthened jeno when he needed it the most. a hope that resembled so much of jaemin, a young youth left by his parents in the hospital's doorstep when he was one then diagnosed with a failing kidney.

the first time jeno laid his eyes on the adorable boy was during his last meet with jaemin in the hopsital, amidst all the sobs and grief when he was crouching helplessly in the hospital hall—soomin pat his broad shoulders and handed him,

a stick of banana pocky.

" here uncle, food makes everything better! "

that's when his world transformed 360 degrees, especially after finding out that jaemin registered himself as an organ donor and his kidney was used to replace soomin's failing ones. the two didn't need a long time to bond, soomin became attached to him after the 3 days of consecutively visiting the small boy in the hospital.

on his 6th birthday, jeno remembered the moment where he held the young boy a cake, when he told him to dim the candles with his breath, to utter a wish that jeno promised he would go around the world to keep it.

he never expected soomin's wish to be so simple yet at the same time it was able to send his breath away, transforming him to a speechless soul.

" i want uncle nono to be my papa."

what was he supposed to do when an innocent child wished for such thing to him? but the more he gazed into his eyes the more he could see the scars left by his past. his eyes seemed to tell him something different, and jeno understood. the boy had a wounded past, but his present with jeno around him brought happiness, and it was going to be jeno's decision that would determine the ending to the his story, but one thing was for sure-the child wanted jeno to be apart of it, because inside his head he knew jeno brought him joy—something his past couldn't offer him.

jeno himself found his heart attached to the small boy upon him, he couldn't bare the guilt he would carry if he uttered the wrong word. just like soomin, he felt that he needed the little boy's presence in his future too.

" yes, i'll be your papa "

twenty six years old and he was already a father of a seven year old child. it truly wasn't what jeno envisioned at all, but guess destiny thought of another thing and he was more than glad to have soomin by his side.

the duo put their actions to a halt when jeno realized the sofa was in their sight. he laid soomin's light body on the sofa, giving him a light tickle making the boy giggle under his hold.

" having a father son time i see, " a light voice interrupted soomin's giggle but when his eye met the female's, he pushed jeno's body lightly running to her hold instead.

"aunty jangmi! " he exclaimed lightly wrapping his small arms around jangmi's waist.

jangmi ruffled soomin's hair and pinched his fluffy cheeks, " hi little min, how are you doing? "

" good, how about aunty and baby? " he gently booped his button shaped nose with jangmi's evident bump.

the female chuckled, " baby is doing wonderful, she's kicking a lot these days."

jeno swiftly joined the conversation then proceed to carry the boy in his arms, " when are you guys expecting? "
" in about two months hopefully. " jangmi flashed a genuine smile which also lit one in jeno's too.

" i'm glad things are looking up for you. " other than jeno, jangmi was definitely the one other person effected after jaemin's departure from the earth. so when he saw the condition she was in (happily married and expecting a baby soon) he couldn't be happier for her as she truly deserved it.

jangmi nodded but after it seemed like something changed her mood, judging by how her facial expression changed and how her face became more stern than before, " i think you have received the letter? "

" yes, is it from- "

" it is, look jeno i maybe shouldn't have given you that and if you aren't ready to read- "

jeno shook his head showing denial, " i am ready noona, don't worry. "

" that's great then, i need to go to the hospital soon but, " she handed a plastic bag to the two, " here's some cookies for you, just make sure soomin doesn't eat too much."

" thank you, have a wonderful day, " jeno expressed his grattitude sending jangmi off until she reached the door.

soomin waved his aunt goodbye, " see you next time aunty jangmi! "

" till next time baby min, " she pinched his cheeks for the last time before leaving

jeno closed the door and drifted to the sofa, landing with soomin in his arms on the soft cushion, " now where were we? "

" who is it from papa? " his round eyes gazed over the old piece of paper, raising his eyebrows which made jeno cooe.

jeno opened the letter and smiled when he found not only a piece of paper but a hand made blue bird keychain. it touched his heart because jaemin made so much effort to meet him and it crushed him at the same time, because time beat him to it and he wasn't able to fulfill his last wish.

" it's from an old friend of mine, " he replied.

soomin's curiosity as a young youth only intrigued him to asking even more questions, " what's his name? "

jeno brushed his hand over the letter lightly, when the image of his smile, his angelic face and his childishness. he used to hate his memory for it brought all the unwanted events back to his head, but now

at least his memory was the only trace jaemin had left.

he held on to his words that he had uttered to him although he didn't have the chance to say it directly. he marked the certain name that brought him the best of his childhood.

" na jaemin. "

- 💌 -

soomin's sudden movement startled jeno, and it led to the male releasing the boy in his arm. he ran to the metal bars, where rows and rows of locks were still hanging, waiting for a passerby to notice its presence.

" papa, what place is this? why are there so many locks? " he turned his body around in order to take a good look of the ruined and scruffy looking bridge. soomin envisioned that his papa would take him to a colorful playground with swings and tall slides, not this dark looking bridge.

jeno pat the space beside him and pointed to a certain blue lock, " you see that lock there? that holds a lot of memories and stories of papa's childhood. "

" with your best friend? "

jeno nodded answering soomin's question, " yes of course, with him. "

soomin moved his body closer to his dad and laid his tiny head on the elder's broad shoulder, " tell me the story you had with him papa! i wanna know! "

- 💌 -

once again the two settled on their usual spot, on the bridge before the sun kissed the clouds and transformed it to all gloomy and dark.

one with a packet of banana milk in his hand and the other resting his head on the latter's lap.

" jeno-ya, don't fall asleep yet you acorn! " jaemin warned pushing his large head off his lap as jeno groaned once he it the ground.

" who said i'm falling asleep, i was just enjoying my time, " he rolled his eye.

jaemin sighed and nudged jeno so that the male focused his gaze on the panorama displayed in front of them.

such event occured almost everyday, but jaemin cherished every moment because somehow when gazing over the horizion, surrounded by the peaceful warmth and the smell of petrichor entering his nose, created a peaceful aura, that had a magic of calming his once unsettled heart.

of course the male beside him lee jeno, made everything better. just by his simple presence, jaemin could find himself peaceful though with a pacing heart and an unerasable disease.

while being entangled deeply in his universe of thoughts, jaemin chuckled finding something resembling the bond the two young lover held.

" you see the sun and the clouds side-by-side there jeno? " jaemin pointed his fingers to trace around the two object.

jeno raised his eyebrow not knowing the direction of their conversation but yet he nodded, " i have eyes, so of course. "

" do you realize, the sun and the cloud is like the both of us? "

it made him even more confused but his words intrigued him more, " no? "

jaemin faced jeno, with his usual smile and a gaze the other couldn't explain, " the sun chases the clouds wherever it goes, they're together never seperated from each other's hold until, the sun starts transfiguring and slowly vanishing away."

" and then? "

jaemin eagerly continues explaining," you're like the cloud and i'm the sun, it may sound ridiculous but one day i know i'm going to end up like the sun, vanishing from your life but actually there is one thing that differenciates us from the cloud and the sun, you want to know what? "

jeno suddenly became amused and chuckled, " what? "

" the sun can't be by the cloud's side after it disappears, unlike the both of us..."

they locked their gazes, with the setting sun as their background.

there when the world started evolving and transforming to the pitch black darkness, when the chirps of the birds became a witness of the scene.

jaemin uttered a sentence, this time with no doubt laced in his words.

" wherever i'll be, even when i'm gone later, i'll always be by your side. "

- 💌 -

dear jeno,

hey, it's been quite awhile. i stopped sending letters to you, because i realized, i needed to gather my courage and tell you everything i have done wrong. about your past with kyungmin. so, i promise this will be my very last letter because right here and right now, i will be revealing you everything. i'm ready, for every reaction you will give me whether you might want to punch me in the face or if i'm lucky, give me a second chance.

remembered when i said the na kyungmin you know isn't who you think he is? that's because he lied. actually, i lied. does everything start making sense to you, why i know everything? it's because i am kyungmin.

i'm sorry jeno, i really am. i made a foolish decision as i thought that you would end up miserable and that you would leave me because of my disease. i didn't have a splinter of hope and that was my mistake. i should have put up a battle back in the days where i still had the chance to.

i hurted you, scarred you made you suffer for something that i made up. and that's something unforgivable, i know you will never consider me as a someone in your life anymore after this. did you get the blue bird keychain that i made? i worked really hard to make that, so i hope it looks decent.

the blue bird represents, hope. yes, i have hope and maybe it's too late for me to build it, i still want to fight for my life. i'm going to prove to you, that this time i won't make you sad or cry because of the wrong thing ever again.

if you want to give this foolish male a second chance, meet me on the usual bridge on saturday. let's catch up on life and enjoy the sunset while eating pocky. sounds too good to be true, but don't worry i will wait for you even if you won't come.

remember, no matter where you are, even if you will hate me for an eternity. i will always love you, and you will always be my best friend.

from,
na jaemin

♡ the end ♡