𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞, 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞.

⬩ ⬩ ⬩ ⬩

HANAKO NAGASAWA used to be friends with Shoya Ishida, used to be being the key words here.

Once upon a time, Hanako and Shoya had been good friends, although she was considered more of an outsider within his main friend group. She was the one always trying to look out for him, refusing to budge in her duty as his "protector," even during the times when he thought she was being too cautious by trying to talk him out of a dangerous situation or when Naoka Ueno thought she was being too clingy by always being around him. Deep down, the girl knew she would never truly fit in with his friends, but for some reason, Shoya insisted that she stay with them. 

"You're the glue that holds this gang together," the boy would say, slinging an arm over her shoulders. "You're like our lucky charm. Something good always happens when you're around." Hanako never knew if he was joking or being serious, but it made her happy that she felt so appreciated when everyone else looked down on her.

But there was another reason why the girl hung out with him: he was a distraction. Through Shoya's schemes, she was able to have a moment of freedom, the taste of adventure keeping her from thinking about her boring home life, with a family who never seemed to appreciate her the way he did. It was Shoya's faith in her that kept Hanako from doing anything drastic, and that was until he, like everyone else in her life, started to show his true colors.

The change began the day Shoko Nishimiya joined their class. Suddenly there was another person that the girl felt the urge to protect. It didn't matter that Shoko was deaf or that everything had to be written down for her. She wanted to make friends and Hanako was more than happy to do so.

Unfortunately, Shoya didn't share the same intentions.

Hanako had always the misfit, with the boy acting as the bridge between her and the rest of his group, but the gap between the two of them started to grow as the more she hung out with Shoko, the more it seemed that Shoya had something against her new friend. He started to bully Shoko just because he thought she was different, and even though the girl did her best to keep her two friends out of trouble, it soon became clear that she could only help one while the other continued to slip further and further away from her.

As the bullying continued for Shoko, Hanako occasionally got caught in the crossfire through association with the girl, but it also started to rebound onto Shoya as well, almost like some weird sense of retribution. She wanted to do something to help him every time she came across him beaten up or soaked to the bone, but the boy would always push the girl away, using the excuse that she had found someone better to hang out with than him.

When Shoya was outed for being the main cause of Shoko's bullying, Hanako would have been lying if she didn't think that he had gotten what he deserved, although the bitter feeling of satisfaction came with an even bitter feeling of disgust and betrayal at herself for ill thoughts against her friend. But a person can only go so far before finally snapping, and the girl eventually reached that point when she found the boy and Shoko fighting in their empty classroom. A punch from Hanako put an end to her friendship with Shoya once and for all, the shock and guilt at what she had done building in her chest as she turned her back on him for the final time.

After Shoko transferred to a new school, everything went back to normal, but for the girl, everything had changed. During middle school, Hanako did her best to reach out to Shoya and try to rebuild their friendship, but the consequences of his deeds had already reached his heart. After an argument with the boy, the girl finally admitted defeat. She had already been rejected enough; it was about time she learned her lesson and moved on.

Hanako Nagasawa would have nothing more to do with Shoya Ishida, and that was final.

Five years later, as she moves up into high school and reaches her senior year, it's hard for the girl to keep that promise to herself when she sees Shoya every day in class, especially when she sits so close to him. Despite everything they've been through, Hanako finds herself watching him, noticing how lonely and depressed he seems. Every day she has to squash the feeling of wanting to go over to him and just talk like the old days, but she knows he might just brush her off like he had in the past. Besides, she has other things to focus on like her boyfriend, with whom things are...a little rough right now, but it's nothing she can't handle.

To her surprise, the girl finds Shoya in front of her house one morning, an apologetic look in his eyes as he tells her that he had tried to kill himself yesterday afternoon. Before that, he had gone to see Shoko Nishimiya to wrap up any loose ends, and in visiting the girl, she had reminded him of her. Hanako is stunned when he asks her if they can be friends again, and even more so when he wants her help to not only make things right between him and Shoko, but between them as well. At first, the girl wonders if this is some sort of joke, but the pleading in Shoya's eyes erases any doubt from her mind. After all, she had wanted to reconnect with him, and here is her chance. Who is she to be foolish enough not to take it?

Through helping her friend on his path of redemption, Hanako starts to rebuild her friendship with Shoya and Shoko while making new friends and reuniting with old ones. But for every bit of happiness, there must be a bit of sorrow to balance it out. Everyone has a secret hidden away, and Hanako is no exception. Her guilt from the past is eating her up inside, but she'll force herself to keep quiet for her friends' sake, because all she wants now is for Shoya and Shoko to be happy. Even if she wishes that someone could reach out a hand and help her, she'll hold in the desire to ask them for anything, because it would be selfish of her to ruin the happiness her friend has worked so hard to create for Shoko.

Even now, after all this time, Hanako Nagasawa is still trying to protect Shoya Ishida, and protect him and his newfound happiness she will, even if the very thing she's protecting him from is herself. 

𑁋 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐨 𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐰𝐚 (𝟏𝟕)

𑁋 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒈𝒖𝒊𝒍𝒕-𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍

𝒍𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒌𝒐

𝒂 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐲𝐚 𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐚 (𝟏𝟕)

𑁋𝒂 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒐𝒚

𝒂 𝒗𝒂𝒍𝒖𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐤𝐨 𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐲𝐚 (𝟏𝟕)

𑁋 𝒂 𝒇𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆

𝒂 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

𝒂 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒂𝒅 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍

𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚 (𝟏𝟕)

𑁋 𝒂 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

𝒂 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒓

𝒂 𝒈𝒓𝒖𝒎𝒑𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅-𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒐𝒚

AUTHOR'S NOTE!

a silent voice is so good, please go watch it. 🥺

this fic will mostly be based around the movie since i've only just started reading the manga, but i might add a few elements further into the fic the more i read.

(this fic will contain themes such as bullying, harassment, suicide, depression, and other themes present in a silent voice. warnings will be placed at the head of chapters when needed.)

enjoy!