▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅
❛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘ. ᴘᴀʀᴋᴇʀ ᴇғғᴇᴄᴛ​​​​​​​​​​. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚   ▎❛ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐔𝐃𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈 ❜   ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴀʟᴇxᴀ ᴀɴᴅ ғɪᴠᴇ
ʀᴏᴅᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜʙᴡᴀʏ ғʀᴏᴍ ʜᴇʟʟ ꒱


❝ REGENERATIVE CELLS
FOR THE WIN, AM I RIGHT? ❞

▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅

[ the first year ]

Alexa did her best not to panic during the first couple of stations. There were only so many they could hit before they got home, right? But, one stop led to another, then another, and after their attempts reached the double digits, she allowed the worry to set in.

"How many stops are on that map?" she asked, leaning over Five's shoulder to peer at the atlas he'd spread out across his lap. He'd fished a pen from his suit coat pocket and was trying to figure out which stops they'd already been to.

"Too many," he replied with a grimace.

The blonde scanned the spidery web of lines sprawling across the map. Each station was marked with a symbol rather than a proper name and each one was more bizarre than the last— there was a plus sign, an umlaut, a cedilla and other shapes that seemed to be completely made up. There was no indication of the station they were looking for.

"What even is this?" she asked, frustrated. "It looks like someone designed a subway map during a fever dream."

Five shot her an unimpressed look over the top of the map. "Aren't fever dreams supposed to be at least a little enjoyable? This is just hell in a handbasket."

"So it's not just me. Even you can't figure it out," Alexa pointed out.

"Excuse me," he said, bristling. "I'm making progress. Slowly."

"Define 'progress.' We've been at this for— what, an hour? Two?"

"Time's relative on this train," Five muttered, tracing a finger along one of the routes. "Which is part of the problem. And as much as I love having you close, please stop breathing down my neck, you're making it worse."

Alexa crossed her arms and huffily sat back in her seat. "How do we even know where we are? These stops don't have 'you are here' indicators."

"Not always," Five admitted. "But I think I'm getting the hang of it. There's symbols on the terminal guides out on the platforms that match the ones on here."

"So. . . we can keep track of where we've been by crossing it off?" the blonde wondered.

He nodded. "Exactly. But I don't want to be doing more guesswork. Since we need to get to a specific timeline, that means tracking patterns, not just ticking things off like a grocery list."

Alexa sank onto the seat opposite him, pressing her palms into her temples. "Great. So we're stuck playing temporal Sudoku and only one of us is good at math."

"Well, luckily I'm fantastic at math enough for both of us," he pointed out with more than a little smugness. His tone became more reassuring as he added firmly, "we're getting back. One way or another."

She sighed. "Something tells me its another."

He glanced at her, his expression softening. "We'll figure it out. If anyone can do it, it's us."

--

The worst part was, that between stops, riding a train was boring. Sure, conversation always flowed easily between them— though their current topics seemed to revolve around getting home— but even they hadn't been together twenty-four seven since getting lost in time. At first, Alexa had enjoyed spending so much time with her boyfriend without the pressure of work or their family around them, but trying to survive on a subway wasn't exactly ideal for romance. And, okay, they did cuddle together at night while they slept, but Five was particularly stern about keeping their distance— something about kissing leading to making out leading to. . . well, you get the point. She rolled her eyes at his strict tone but reluctantly complied, which led them to sitting in separate chairs with an aisle between them during the day.

Since there wasn't much to look at outside, Alexa liked to watch her boyfriend pour over the map. Maybe it was a little creepy, but there wasn't much else that could keep her attention! Besides, she'd lived over half a decade without him; she figured she was due some time to look at him as much as she wanted. Plus, he was really good-looking when he was concentrating, his brows furrowed, his hair falling into his eyes— which he didn't bother to push away— and how he folded one leg on top of the other to have a makeshift table for the map. Even the way he tapped the pen against the paper was almost endearing— if it weren't for the fact that they were still hopelessly lost.

The last few stops had been very touch-and-go and in a few of them they'd only just made it out alive. She thought about their most recent close call, which she had heatedly protested before they'd gotten into hot water. She couldn't help herself. Besides, she was tired of listening to the rattle of the train tracks in an otherwise silent space. "You know, if we had just listened to me in the first place, we wouldn't be here."

Five didn't even look up. "Oh, is that so?"

"Yes, because I said eastbound. You dragged us westbound, which was clearly—"

"Two stops ago, you said you had no idea which way was east," he shot back, finally looking up to scowl at her.

Alexa tilted her head. "Maybe I was testing you?"

"Testing me," Five repeated flatly, clearly unimpressed. "Right. Because I'm not the one making all the decisions here."

"Hey, I didn't know you'd fail," she teased with a playful grin.

Five closed his eyes for a beat, as if summoning the patience to entertain her nitpicking. "I didn't fail. We're just. . . recalibrating."

She laughed, the sound light despite the tension. "Is that what we're calling this? Because from here, it looks a lot like you scribbling random symbols and hoping for divine intervention."

"This is not random." He shot back, setting the map down with an exaggerated sigh as he leaned back and fixed her with a faux-annoyed look. "You know, for someone who's not offering any solutions, you're awfully quick to critique mine."

Alexa smirked, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. "That's because your solutions come with the side effect of near-death experiences."

"Name one time," he challenged.

She held up a finger. "The storm from the spiral ampersand stop." Another finger. "The gunmen you had to blink us away from." A third. "Oh, and let's not forget that weird timeline where walking on a green light gets you run over—"

"Okay, okay," Five interrupted, throwing up his hands in surrender. "Point made."

For a moment, they just looked at each other, the tension diffusing into something softer. "It's a good thing I'm not with you for your brain," she teased him.

Five snorted, his lips quirking up despite himself. "So you've said. I suppose you expect me to just be glad that you find my body desirable enough for you to stick around?"

She grinned at him; if they'd been standing, she would've smacked him on the butt. "Now you're getting it. I, on the other hand, am an all-around delight."

"Most of the time, you are," he admitted. Which, despite the contingency, made her heart skip a beat.

They sat in companionable silence after that, the train lurching slightly as it transitioned through what looked like a storm of colors outside. Alexa shifted her gaze to look out the window, watching hues of green and purple shift with each terminal change.

"Do you think we'll ever get back?" she asked softly, her good-natured humor fading momentarily.

The brunet's gaze softened, his confidence unwavering even in the face of her doubt. "I've bent the rules of time and space before," he replied, his voice low but steady. "This is just another puzzle. And like I said, we'll figure it out."

She smiled faintly, leaning her head against the window. "Well, if I have to be lost in the multiverse, I guess there's no one else I'd rather be lost with."

Five didn't say anything, but when she glanced back at him, he was looking at her with that quiet intensity she loved so much. It was enough to make her believe him.

☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎

[ the second year ]

Eventually, they decided making a camp was necessary. It would be easier to continue searching the timelines if they had a place to return to and somewhere to keep provisions. It was a minor improvement to the train in the fact that the floor wasn't constantly moving. They could also make a fire, which they set up a grate for.

Although it wasn't easy living by any means, Five found himself enjoying the familiarity of it. If he'd been alone, that would be completely different; with Alexa, however, he was pleased to show off his abilities— she didn't know the tricks of survival as well as he did (though their father had made sure to prepare all of them for any eventuality) and killing subway rats for dinner wasn't necessarily her forte. He took pride in being able to provide for her in a way he hadn't been able to in 'normal' life. He'd had difficulty adjusting to civilization after struggling to survive for so long and sometimes even having four solid walls around felt suffocating— let alone the expectations that came with socialization.

But here, he didn't have to worry about any of that. All he had to do was focus on taking it one day at a time like he had for decades. He didn't even mind that his girlfriend was physically a deadweight— she was acting as his mental stability to keep him from completely spiraling like he had during the worst times of the apocalypse. To him, that was just as important of a role as scavenging.

And besides, Alexa was by no means totally useless in that department, either. She was good at finding fuel for their fire and figuring out how to make their thin blankets stretch to be enough for both of them. But, what she was best at was being the heart of the team. By that, he meant even the smallest of wins made her face light up in a way that brought his spirits up, too. It had been a long time since he'd seen her as happy as when she'd found a gumball machine.

The blonde clutched the gumball she'd just twisted free from the ancient machine like it was treasure. Her eyes sparkled with childlike glee as she popped it into her mouth, her cheeks puffing slightly as she chewed. Five couldn't help but smirk at her excitement.

"Lexa, you're way too thrilled about a candy that's probably older than both of us combined," he teased, leaning against the rusted subway bench.

"You don't understand, Mr. I-had-a-bad-Twinkie-in-the-apocalypse," she mumbled, her words muffled by the gum. "It's been days since we had anything remotely sweet! This is heaven."

As she chewed, her skin began to softly glow— a warm, golden light radiating from her like she was lit from within. The sheer look of delight on her face was illuminated by her shimmering light, which cast shadows that danced across the grime-covered tiles of the platform. Five froze at the sight, his sharp mind momentarily blank as he took her in. The way the light reflected in her eyes, the warmth of her smile— it all felt a dream. Finally he managed to speak, his voice almost a whisper. "Lexa. . . you're glowing."

Alexa blinked and looked down at herself, startled at first. But when she caught sight of her softly glowing hands, she giggled. "I guess I am," she agreed, her face flushing at his awestruck expression.

Five's eyes narrowed slightly in thought. He tilted his head, recalling a memory he hadn't pieced together before. "This isn't the first time I've seen this," he murmured. "At the Christmas fair. . . you were glowing then, too. I thought it was just from the lights."

The blonde's lips curved into a shy smile, her glow growing a little brighter. "I guess it happens when I'm happy," she admitted as she remembered her boyfriend's rare public kiss. Her voice was soft, almost embarrassed, and she toyed with the knob on the gumball machine.

For a moment, neither of them said anything. Five's usual sharp wit was nowhere to be found as he gazed at her, entranced. She was radiant— not just because of her ability, but because her happiness felt so genuine, so pure, that it filled the desolate subway with an unfamiliar hope. When she couldn't take the intensity of his gaze anymore, she broke the silence. "You're staring," she commented, although the way her fingers fiddled with the mechanism betrayed her flustered state.

He cleared his throat and tried to regain his usual composure, but the corner of his mouth quirked up. "Well, excuse me for being a little distracted by the most beautiful sight in this whole damn subway system."

Her blush burned warmer at his words; compliments were rare from him, which made the times when he did give them even more special.

--

That wasn't the only time Alexa glowed. While it didn't happen often, the times that it did made Five give her that same dumbstruck, besotted expression as when he'd first seen it. This time, they sat on either side of the makeshift board game they had cobbled together so they'd have something to else to think about during their downtime besides the endless loop they were stuck in. The checkerboard was an old, worn thing that Alexa had found in a dumpster and insisted on taking with them. Some of the squares had entirely lost their color while others had suspicious stains on them that they tried not to touch. There had been no pieces to be seen, so their tokens were a collection of random items: bottle caps, rocks, little plastic statues of animals and small office supplies like paperclips.

Five leaned forward, eyeing the board as he watched the blonde play. "You can't move the paperclip across the dice and pawn. It's a single-square-move only, Lexa."

Alexa ignored him as she nudged her piece into position. "Why not? You made up the rule that bottle caps can double-jump, so I'm making this one. Paperclips can hop in L-shapes."

He scoffed, leaning forward and propping his elbows on his knees. "That rule made sense. Yours is arbitrary."

"Your face is arbitrary," she shot back.

He stared at her for a beat, unimpressed. "Brilliant comeback, Lexa."

"Thank you," she replied smugly, flicking a bottle cap into the paperclip's previous spot. "And while you're busy complaining, I just won."

Five's eyes darted to the board, then back to her. "What? You did not!"

"I did," she sang, making his jaw tighten in response.

"Prove it," he challenged, gesturing to the mismatched pieces.

"Look," she began, pointing dramatically at the board as if presenting irrefutable evidence in court. "Bottle cap here, gumball here, and the legendary paperclip takes the checkerboard crown. That's game."

He stared at the moves, clearly trying to find a loophole in her explanation. Finally, he relented with an exaggerated groan, rubbing a hand down his face. "I let you win. That's what happened."

Alexa gasped, her glow flickering with her offense. "You let me win? Oh, please. You're just mad you lost to someone who outsmarted you"

"I didn't lose," he insisted, crossing his arms like a petulant child. "I strategically forfeited."

"Spoken like someone who lost," she taunted him. "Just admit it, Fi. I've won."

"You cheated," he countered, trying to keep his glare serious but failing. There was something so infectious about her victorious smirk that he couldn't help but soften. "You can't just invent new rules to help you win."

Her eyes narrowed at him playfully. "You did! Last game."

"I'm older than you."

"Now who has the great comebacks?" she retorted. "You can't use age to claim victory. That only comes from pure skill."

Her skin began to glow again, the light spilling out in soft, golden waves. Five froze. The board, the rules, even her smugness— all of it faded into the background as he took her in. His clever responses fizzled out as her radiance caught him off guard— again. She always had this effect on him but when she glowed, it was like his entire world narrowed down to just her. The way the light illuminated her hair, her eyes, her smile— it made him feel like maybe, just for a moment, the universe wasn't so terrible.

Alexa tilted her head, her glow dimming slightly as concern flickered across her face. "You okay? You're staring again."

He shook his head slightly, as if shaking off a trance, and sighed in defeat. "Fine. You win."

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Really? You're not going to argue more?"

"Not when you're glowing like that," he admitted quietly, the corners of his mouth lifting in a rare, genuine smile. "It's impossible to concentrate when you look like you're carrying a piece of the sun."

Her cheeks flushed, her glow pulsing slightly brighter. She leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a whisper. "You know, for someone who's a sore loser, you're awfully good at making me feel like I just conquered the world."

Five smirked, reaching forward to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. "Don't let it go to your head, Lexa. You only conquered this subway platform."

☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎

[ the third year ]

There were actually many things that made being lost in a subway better than a wasteland, with easier-to-find hygiene facilities being pretty much number one. While they couldn't take showers every day (and brushing their teeth was even less frequent), some kind of water supply was more readily available than the first time Five had to go through this. Still, sharp edges that were honed enough to cut were more of a commodity. Because of this, their hair had become an unruly mess, with Alexa's reaching below her mid-back and Five's brushing his shoulders. Although he did look nice with longer hair (when it was maintained, at least), this was in no way a setting to upkeep it.

He was also growing the beginnings of a beard, which Alexa found she liked less than his long hair. ("You wouldn't have liked to see me in the apocalypse, then," Five had told her when she'd commented this. "It would've made Santa Claus jealous.") So, when she found a blade that was serrated enough to do the job, her skin lit up once more. Seeing the light from the corner of his eye, Five looked over at her with interest. "What's got you so happy?"

Alexa held up the blade triumphantly, her glow making it gleam faintly in the dim subway lighting. "This," she announced, "is about to be your saving grace."

He raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth quirking up in amusement. "Should I be worried?"

"Only if you like the current state of your. . . scruffiness," she said, holding the blade like a prized artifact.

Five ran a hand through his hair, tugging slightly at the ends. "You mean you can make me look less like a homeless subway man?"

"Sure, let's go with that," Alexa replied, rolling her eyes as she gestured for him to sit on the bench beside her. "Now, sit still. I've never done this before, but it can't be worse than what you've got going on now."

He hesitated, but the gleam in her eyes wasn't something he could resist. With a sigh, he dropped onto the bench. "If you accidentally slit my throat, at least you can heal me," he quipped.

The blonde grimaced and a flash of worry appeared on her face. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

But then her fingers brushed through his hair— which had luckily been washed recently— and he closed his eyes, preferring to enjoy the feeling of her touch. He had to practically hold back a groan as she scratched gently at his scalp before she brushed his hair off his forehead tenderly. She bent in front of him, her glow casting soft shadows across his face as she leaned in closer, squinting to see the edges of the blade and the curve of his jaw. Her hair spilled over her shoulder, brushing against his neck and making him tense slightly.

"You're holding your breath," she remarked lightly.

"Am I supposed to relax while someone with zero shaving experience handles a blade near my throat?" he countered, though his voice held a note of dry affection.

Alexa chuckled as she brought the blade to his face. The scrape of metal against skin was faint but deliberate as she worked, sliding through the soap she'd had him put on first. Her face was a mask of concentration, her brows furrowed and lips slightly parted. He could feel the faint puffs of her breath on his skin, which made his thoughts skitter in a direction that definitely didn't have anything to do with their current task. It didn't help that the uncharacteristic seriousness in her expression was turning him on more than he cared to admit.

"Stop staring," she murmured, blush heating up her face.

"I'm not staring," Five replied, though the huskiness in his voice gave him away. "I'm observing."

"Uh-huh," she said, her fingers pressing lightly against his shoulder to keep him still. "I'm this close to leaving you half-shaved."

"Better than fully maimed," he muttered, and she laughed, the sound vibrating through him in a way that made the tension in his shoulders ease.

She tilted his chin up slightly to get a better angle, her glow pulsing faintly brighter. He continued to feel her breath ghosting over his skin, making the closeness was almost too much to bear, especially after so much time spent in survival mode.

"There," she said finally, leaning back to admire her work. "Not bad for a first timer."

Five touched his now-smooth jaw, his lips twitching in approval. "Not bad at all. You didn't even nick me."

"Don't sound so surprised," she teased, straightening. To his disappointment, she pulled back fully to honor his stipulation for distance. Her glow dimmed slightly as the task was completed but the passion in her gaze didn't waver.

They stared at each other for a moment, the air between them heavy with unspoken words and the weight of everything they'd been through. Without thinking, Alexa leaned in and pressed her lips to his, which was their first kiss in far too long. She made to withdraw and he could sense she was about to apologize for breaking the 'rule,' but it had been hard on him, too. Instead, he tugged her closer, which made her squeak in surprise as she suddenly found herself sitting on his lap, the blade clattering to the bench in the process. He wrapped one of his arms around her while his hand reached up to cup her face, keeping her from going too far.

When they parted, the blonde found herself momentarily speechless by her boyfriend's unexpected response. Although he'd been the one to set the parameters, Five found that his mind was changing and his lips quirked into a smirk. "If I'd known all it took was a shave to get that reaction, I would've let you do it sooner."

She smiled at him mischievously. "Just wait until I cut your hair."

--

Of course, not every instance of their time was fun and games. In fact, their better moments grew fewer and farther between as the years wore on. The stops seemed to be getting increasingly dangerous rather than safer. Five's blinks had helped them out of many scrapes that could've turned out worse, but they couldn't always rely on them since they took a lot of his energy. It was especially bad when food was scarce since he wasn't strong enough to take an extra passenger— those times he went out alone, which Alexa hated.

The subway screeched to a halt and the doors slid open with a hiss. Neither of them were particularly hopeful about this station since there was nothing recognizable about it; it was one of the more run-down ones with debris littering the platform. Anticipating that this would be a quick check, they hurried up the stairs to get it over with. What they weren't expecting was for the sound of chaos hit them immediately: explosions, gunfire, and shouting. Five barely had time to react before Alexa grabbed his hand, pulling him behind her as they stepped out to investigate.

The world outside was a battlefield. Smoke billowed in thick clouds, mingling with the scent of gunpowder. Soldiers in mismatched uniforms charged through the wreckage, their faces twisted in fear and determination. Bullets ricocheted off the ground near them and Five cursed, yanking the blonde behind the shelter of a crumbling wall.

"We have to go now!" he shouted over the cacophony.

"I know, but you're too tired!" she yelled back, glancing at him. This wasn't their first stop of the day— or at least, what counted as a day in the subway— and his exhaustion was evident in the way he sagged against the wall, having blinked them out of other, similar situations from their previous searches.

A sudden barrage of gunfire forced them to duck. Without thinking, Alexa moved in front of him, her arms spread slightly as if shielding him with her body.

"What are you doing?!" Five snapped, his voice rising with panic as she put herself in what he considered unnecessary danger; she seemed to forget, at the worst times, that she was no longer invulnerable.

"Giving you time!" she shot back, not turning around.

He gritted his teeth and tried to focus, his fingers twitching as he attempted to gather the energy to blink them out of there, but his fatigue slowed him down. Used to being a human shield, his girlfriend remained steadfast, though her heart pounded in her chest. Then, without warning, a sharp, burning pain erupted in her side, nearly knocking her off her feet. 

She gasped but bit her lip, refusing to make a sound— that would only distract Five from making their much needed escape. He finally managed to blink them back to the subway car just as the gunfire grew deafening. They stumbled into the platform, the landing by no means the neatest of the day. The brunet's hair stuck to his forehead due to the sweat that had gathered on his skin. He panted slightly from the exertion and pushed the strands out of his eyes. "Okay, that was the last one for today, I think. A little too close, huh, Lexa?"

It took him a moment to notice the woman was slumping against a nearby pillar with one hand pressed to her side. "Alexa?" he asked, his brow furrowing. She didn't respond right away and he finally noticed that her face was pale and strained.

It wasn't until his eyes landed on her shirt— which had dark crimson blooming outward from her side— that he froze. "Alexa!" His voice cracked and he was by her side in an instant, his hands hovering uselessly. "You're— why didn't you—? Fuck— I told you not to keep doing that—!"

"Five, I'm fine," she said weakly, though she couldn't hide the tremble in her voice. "I didn't want to slow us down."

"You're bleeding," he growled, his voice low and desperate. "That's not 'fine.' Stay still. I—I'll—"

He fumbled, clearly at a loss for how to help; they had scant medical supplies and most of it was for surface injuries, not something deep like this. He began to frantically unknot his tie, hoping to use it as some kind of tourniquet or absorbent for the blood— too much blood— that was coloring her skin. Alexa was strangely calm as she assessed her injury, which burned and felt like ice at the same time. While she knew their situation as well as he did, something told her that she would be completely fine— and her instinct had never been wrong before. Acting on her intuition, she let her free hand move to her wound. A familiar warmth settled over her palm as it glowed a gentle gold.

Both of them watched, wide-eyed, as the bullet slid out of her side and clinked softly onto the floor. Then, her skin knit itself back together until it looked like she had never been hurt in the first place. Within a few minutes, her wound was gone, leaving only the torn fabric of her shirt and the blood staining her skin.

"Well, shit—" Five's voice faltered, his gaze locked on the unmarred skin. "How did you—?"

"I don't know," Alexa murmured, her hand still pressed to her now-healed side. "It just. . . happened."

They sat in stunned silence for a beat. Finally, Five let out a breathless laugh as relief swamped him, just as suddenly as the fear— no, it had been more than that: terror— had.

"I guess that makes sense," he allowed. "You can already heal others, why not yourself while you're at it?"

Alexa smiled faintly, the adrenaline crash catching up to her. "Regenerative cells for the win, am I right?"

Five leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers. "Don't scare me like that again, Love," he whispered unsteadily.

☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎

[ the fourth year ]

The constant travel was finally wearing on them. That, paired with the frequent danger, was a damper on their already fragile spirits. It had been awhile since Alexa had been happy enough that her powers made her glow— a telling sign. Her favorite part of the day was when she and Five would curl up together in their makeshift bed and she could take comfort in the feeling of being in his arms. Most of the time, that was enough to stave off her worries and allow her to get some rest— but, not all the time.

She tried to tell herself not to be a baby. Five had survived for years in the apocalypse alone. This was nothing compared to that. She had company, she wasn't living in a wasteland, there was a decent supply of essentials— this was practically luxury! That didn't stop her from missing her family or proper civilization. She worried about getting home and what if, at their next stop, they weren't so lucky and something happened to them? (Sure, she was aware of her regenerative ability now, but that wasn't the same as Klaus' near-immortality.)

Alexa kept her concerns to herself, knowing Five had more than his fair share of responsibilities to think about; he didn't need her insecurities on top of it. But, that meant, during the times when there was nothing to do except think, all of her fears would circle in her head like vultures and kept her from sleeping. Some nights her exhaustion would heighten her emotions enough that she cried quiet tears of grief and desperation, which she would always feel guilty about the next day— Five never cried, certainly not about their current situation; he was far too practical to be upset over something he had no control over.

So, she did her best to hide her breakdowns from him so she could keep up her strong, optimistic front. She was in charge of being the team's morale, after all; she would be completely useless if she couldn't even do that. But, with their close quarters, she couldn't avoid him finding out forever. One night, Five stirred from where he lay beside his girlfriend. He had a preternatural ability to wake up at the slightest shift in atmosphere— a survival instinct honed over decades in apocalypses and assassination missions. Tonight, it wasn't danger that had him on edge, but the soft, muffled sound of Alexa's breathing, uneven and broken.

There was a faint illumination that came from the parked train as it stood still in the tracks, its doors thrown open to shine the fluorescent lighting on them. He could see that the blonde was curled up in a near-fetal position and imagined that her face was buried in her hands as her sobs were muffled. Concern washed over him immediately and he shifted the arm he had wrapped around her waist to rest his hand on her shoulder.

"Lexa," he murmured, his voice low and tentative, but she froze like she had been caught.

"I'm fine," she whispered quickly, swiping at her face. "Go back to sleep."

He wasn't having it. He shifted closer, returning his arm to its original position as he propped himself up slightly to rest his chin gently on her shoulder. "Don't do that," he said, his voice tinged with a rare softness. "Don't hide from me."

Alexa sniffled, pressing her palms to her eyes. "I just. . . I'm sorry, okay? I know I'm supposed to be stronger than this, but I'm—" Her voice cracked and she was glad that he couldn't see her face well in the dimness. "I'm so tired, Fi. I don't know how you survived the apocalypse alone because I feel like I'm barely holding it together even with you here."

"That's not fair," Five said quietly, his breath warm against her ear. "Don't compare yourself to me. The things I've been through— no one should have to endure that."

She hesitated, her voice small. "But you survived. And you don't even—"

"You don't have to be strong all the time," he said, his tone unusually gentle. "And for the record, I wasn't strong when I first got stuck in the apocalypse. I was a complete wreck for weeks— months, even. I screamed at the sky, got myself into dangerous situations out of sheer frustration, and I was alone, Lexa. No one to keep me sane, no one to talk to. You're doing so much better than I ever did."

Alexa blinked, surprised by his candor. "But you're always so. . . in control."

He gave her a half-hearted smirk even though she couldn't see his expression. "Well, you didn't see the how I reacted when I found alcohol. I lost count of how many vodka-fueled existential crises I had."

Despite herself, the blonde let out a weak laugh. "Really?"

"Really," Five said, a rare trace of self-deprecation in his voice. His tone became uncharacteristically open and earnest. "You think I'm strong because I bottled it all up, but you're stronger than I ever was. You're feeling everything, Love, and you're still here, still trying. That has always been your strength."

She bit her lip and tried to keep fresh tears spilling over as turned around to face him. "I just— I miss home. I miss our family. And I'm scared, Fi. What if we never figure this out? What if something happens to you?"

"Nothing's going to happen to me," he said firmly, cupping her face in his hands. "And we will figure this out. I know I'm not great at this. . . comforting thing, but you don't have to hide how you're feeling from me. I need you to talk to me when you feel like this. Don't shut me out. We're a team, remember? I need you as much as you need me."

"I'm sorry," she whispered again, though it was less of an apology and more of a habit.

Five shook his head. "You don't need to be sorry for anything."

He pulled her closer, wrapping his arms tightly around her. She buried her face in his chest, breathing in his familiar scent. For the first time in weeks, the knot in her chest began to loosen.

--

It had been another long 'day' of multiple failed attempts to get home. They were both exhausted, having once again narrowly survived several attempts on their lives. Now, they sat side-by-side (Five's 'distance' rule long forgotten) as they made their way back to camp. Alexa could barely keep her eyes open, having been on a roller coaster of emotions all day. Eventually, she felt herself slip into rest and she let her head fall onto Five's shoulder. The action made him turn to look down at her, his expression softening into one of utmost fondness.

While being trapped on a subway from hell might have torn apart some relationships, theirs had been made stronger. His respect for her had only increased, having seen how she took everything in stride and kept her head in risky situations. She certainly had no lack of intelligence and her creative streak had helped them come up with outside-the-box ideas. The only downside was that it made him even more regretful of all the years they could've had together, had he not been such an arrogant bastard when he was younger. They could've had all of this— and more— if he'd just stayed.

His hand that she wasn't currently leaning against slipped into his pocket and his fingers traced over the ring box that he was still holding onto. His plans to ask her to marry him on Christmas had been officially dashed— of course they had, because the universe loved to fuck with him— and he'd put his proposal on hold since they couldn't very well get married in a damn subway. Alexa was a romantic at heart and, even if he had been utterly brain-dead, he would've known that this was no place to propose to a woman.

Five sighed and leaned his head back against the cold metal of the subway wall. The dim, flickering lights overhead cast long shadows across the empty car, but the rhythmic clatter of the train moving along its endless track was had become soothing white noise after all of their trips. Alexa's steady breaths against his shoulder were the only reminder that, for all the chaos they'd been through, he wasn't alone. And, as much as he hated the predicament they were in, there was a small, shameful part of him that relished having her all to himself, even in this dystopian, time-traveling nightmare.

Five let his gaze drift over her peaceful face, taking in the faint crease between her brows that remained even in sleep. He thought about her confession from a few days— weeks?— ago and how she worried too much— about him, about the timeline, about things she couldn't control. He wished there was a way that he could reassure her— permanently— that everything would work out, but short from finding their real timeline, there was nothing he could do. His fingers tightened around the small velvet box in his pocket in quiet frustration, the edges digging into his palm.

He'd been so sure about proposing before all this. Back when they'd had a semblance of normalcy, he'd imagined doing it properly: candles, soft music, maybe in their little apartment or at that restaurant she loved. He'd pictured her face lighting up, the way she'd look so shocked (because who would ever imagine him proposing?) before bursting into tears of happiness (since she was the type to cry over anything), and then she would say yes. But now? Now, all he could offer her was the never-ending grind of survival and the dim hope of someday finding their way home. He wanted to give her more than this. She deserved more than this.

Alexa stirred slightly, her head nestling deeper into his shoulder, and he couldn't help the small smile that tugged at his lips. Her hand, resting loosely in her lap, twitched, and on instinct, he reached out to take it. Their fingers intertwined easily and even though they'd been doing this for nearly their entire second lives, he still marveled at how natural it felt.

"You're staring again," Alexa mumbled sleepily, her eyes still closed.

Five froze, his usual sharp retort caught in his throat. "Am not," he muttered finally, though his voice lacked its usual bite.

Her lips curved into a small, tired smile. "You are. I can feel it. You do it a lot." She opened her eyes blearily to focus on his face. "What are you thinking about?"

"You," he admitted quietly, his voice softer than normal. "Us."

Her smile became more affectionate and she shifted so she could see him better without lifting her head from his shoulder. "Good thoughts, I hope."

"The best," he replied, surprising himself with how easily the words came. He glanced away, his gaze settling on the dark, endless tunnel outside the window. "I was just. . . thinking about how much I want to give you the life you deserve. Not this." He gestured vaguely at their surroundings. "You deserve more than a subway car and near-death experiences every other day."

Alexa's brow furrowed, and she reached up to cup his face, gently turning his face back to hers. "Five Hargreeves," she said softly, her voice firm even in its tenderness, "I don't care about any of that. As long as I have you, I have everything I need."

He swallowed hard, his usual composure slipping as only she could make it. For a moment, he couldn't speak, couldn't do anything but stare at her with an intensity that made her cheeks flush. Finally, he managed to croak, "you really mean that?"

"Every word," she whispered, her thumb brushing against his cheek.

The ring box in his pocket burned for the first time since they'd been trapped here and a spark of hope ignited in his chest. Maybe he couldn't give her the perfect proposal right now, but he could give her his heart, his loyalty, his everything. And when— not if— they got out of this mess, he'd make damn sure she had the life she'd always dreamed of.

But for now, he tightened his grip on her hand and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, silently vowing that, no matter what, he'd find a way to get them home. And when they did, he'd finally ask her the question that had been pushing against his lips since the day he'd realized he couldn't live without her.

☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎

[ the fifth year ]

"Oh, no!" Alexa exclaimed abruptly during what they were pretty sure was dinner after they'd called it a day.

Five looked up from the meager food scraps on his plate in alarm, since 'oh, no' usually meant things were about to go sideways very fast. "What?"

"I just remembered— I never got time off approved for work!" she groaned and threw the rat bone back on her plate. "I am so going to be fired once we get back."

He relaxed as soon as he realized that there was nothing immediately amiss and gave his girlfriend an exasperated look. "You're just now remembering this? Lexa, it's been. . . five years, I think. And besides, you didn't even like working at the CIA, anyway; would it really be such a bad thing?"

"Someone has to be the breadwinner between us and it sure as hell hasn't been you," she retorted pointedly. "So yes, I'd say it would be a pretty bad thing. Oh— and our apartment's probably been resold, and all of our stuff—" She gasped. "Our Christmas decorations! They were still up—"

The brunet couldn't help but let out a soft huff of amusement at the spiral she was suddenly going down. "Lexa, Love, I'm sure everything will be fine. You know how this time travel thing works; it's been five years for us, but it's probably not even been a day back home."

Alexa shot him a withering look, though it made her appear more adorable than anything else. "Oh, sure. Probably. Because time travel is so reliable and never throws us a curveball. You know, like stranding us on a subway for five years eating—" She gestured dramatically at the plate, "whatever the hell this is."

Five smirked, leaning back against his hands. "It's rat, obviously. And you're welcome, by the way, for catching it."

"Wow, what a hero," Alexa deadpanned. "Should I organize a parade when we get back to our timeline? Oh wait— no, I can't, because I'll be fired."

"Alright, fine," he said, abandoning their banter to become more serious. "Say you do get fired. Wouldn't you want a new career?"

She hesitated, glancing down at the remains of her meal as she considered the idea. ". . . Maybe. You're right; I always hated the CIA— I thought it was a necessary evil. But now that we all have powers back and Luther and Diego are working— or worked— to unmask the Keepers, I. . . I wouldn't have to be there anymore. I'd be able to get a job I actually liked. . ." She trailed off, her gaze taking on a faraway, wistful appearance.

"Something to do with art?" Five guessed, knowing his girlfriend's interests well.

"Probably," she allowed. "That's about the only other thing I'm good at. But. . . art's been weird. I haven't drawn much in recent years since all I kept seeing in my head was the Kugelblitz whenever I tried to create something. It would be nice to get back to it, though. Enough time might've passed that I can draw something else now. Or-or teach again. I'd like that."

The brunet's expression softened, both from hearing her lasting trauma of their most recent apocalypse and how much she missed doing what she was passionate about. "I think you should go for it. After all this, shouldn't you do something you actually enjoy?"

She nodded thoughtfully as she put her plate off to her side. She shifted to lean against her boyfriend, taking strength from his steadfastness. "That would be nice. What about you? Retirement obviously isn't your thing— at least, not right now."

Five shrugged, far less willing to talk about his plans. "I'll figure something out. Just like you always say: as long as I have you, that's all I really need."

Alexa felt her face warm as it always did when he was unexpectedly sweet and she snuggled closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist contentedly.

--

The fire burned steadily in front of them and they sat close together as they shared a blanket, once again worn out from always being on the move. Although they were both determined to get home, Alexa could feel her resolve faltering more than ever. She was having more nights where Five had to comfort her so she could fall asleep, while his patience which each failure was wearing thin. She held his hand tightly as they stared into the flames.

"Fi?" she murmured softly, breaking the quiet.

"Hmm?" His gaze remained on the flickering flames

"Do you remember that timeline we found the other day? At the greenhouse?" Alexa asked. The cottage had plagued her mind, its sturdy, safe walls and cozy atmosphere calling to her like a siren. She had tried not to think about it— neither one of them wanted to stop finding their way home— but she kept picturing them sleeping in a real bed for a change.

He nodded. "And the strawberries. What about it?"

"It seemed pleasant enough," she began tentatively, hoping that he wouldn't immediately refute her argument. "There's no feral hogs there. No secret police. I was thinking we could maybe set up there for a stretch."

Five frowned at the defeat in her tone. "So you're giving up?"

She shook her head quickly. "No! I was just thinking. . . It's been a long time—"

"Five years," he provided.

"Five years," the blonde specified. "We need a break. You know, a bed. A shower. Just a for a few days?"

She made her best attempt at the wide, pleading eyes that almost always made her boyfriend cave to her every request. She needn't have worried since his resoluteness was wavering just as much as hers was, though he knew she would've kept going if that's what he voted for.

"A few days," he decided. "But this doesn't mean we're giving up. Just recharging."

A/n: we reached the subway arc!! As you can see, I'll be alluding to the Five/Lila (🤮) scenes but expanding on them and making them better— and hopefully not vomit-inducing (though maybe from fluff overload.) This is one of those times where I really wish I COULD write smut since that how I picture Five and Alexa spending *most* of their time in the cottage. But, alas, I can only imply it. . . I have considered outsourcing the smut chapters I had in mind but idk anyone who commissions that sort of thing? Plus they would have to read the whole series or something to get an idea of the characters so that would be a big commitment.

Anyway, I have the entire rest of the book written so there will be weekly updates from here on out!