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❛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘ. ᴘᴀʀᴋᴇʀ ᴇғғᴇᴄᴛ​​​​​​​​​​. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚   ▎❛ 𝐓𝐖𝐎 ❜   ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ ɪ'ᴍ ᴀ ʀᴇᴀʟ ᴛᴏᴜɢʜ ᴋɪᴅ, 
ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ʜᴀɴᴅʟᴇ ᴍʏ sʜɪᴛ, ᴘᴛ. 𝟷 ꒱


❝ HOW'S MORTALITY
TREATING YOU? ❞

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[ the second year ]

I can read your mind
"He's having the time of his life"
There in his glittering prime

Luther barely had a chance at a normal life. The Academy had been his sole purpose for the longest time. Then, once they'd broken up, he'd stayed on until the accident that had sent him to the moon for three years. After their dad's death came the first apocalypse, a brief respite where he'd been mildly happy in the 60s, though he'd been concerned for his missing family, and then another apocalypse. There was the third apocalypse in the Sparrow timeline and then he'd died.

He hadn't been expecting to be brought back to life, much less in his pre-accident body. He didn't even mind his lack of super strength that much since he didn't have to be disgusted with how he looked in the mirror. The loss of his power hadn't impacted his life all that much except that he could no longer pick things like couches up with one hand. He'd learned that the hard way and pulled his back out during his miserable attempt at redecorating the rundown home he was currently squatting in— The Umbrella Academy, though in this timeline it had been renamed to Hargreeves Home for Wayward Boys.

The injury had encouraged his boss to slot him in for Sunday brunch at the establishment where he worked as a professional dancer (his preferred term, though he certainly lacked in the 'professional' part.) Apparently, being in his mid-thirties even with a six pack was considered 'old' in this line of business. To put it simply, stripping was unfulfilling. He was sure that it worked for some people but after leading a team of superheroes, it was a serious letdown.

Luther tried to convince himself that he was happy with this new life— his second chance. He had a job, a shitty home and he was making his best effort at finding Sloane and Deianira like he'd promised. He tried not to think about his siblings too much, or wonder if they were having family gatherings without him. Maybe he'd been such a failure of a leader that they elected Diego— or worse, Ben, who'd been the Sparrow's Number One— to replace him. They all had each other, after all. Diego had Lila. Alexa had Five. Viktor had lived a normal life in the original timeline so he was probably doing so again without a problem. Allison had Ray. Ben. . . well, he didn't know about him, but Luther knew he'd made oodles of money in a short amount of time, so he was probably fine.

Luther was the only one actively failing at adulting. Although he would never admit it, that had been one of the reasons he'd never left the Academy. Not only was it because he'd wanted things to stay the same, but that's what he knew. He was comfortable there and knew what he was doing. Going out into the real world meant admitting that their father hadn't prepared them for everything.

But it had been two years and he didn't know how much longer he could deal with this kind of life. He was the leader; he was supposed to be the one with everything figured out— asking for help didn't come naturally to him. Yet, there he stood outside of Alexa and Five's rented hotel room (it was only slightly better than where he was squatting since all four walls were intact.) They'd asked for help and their lives had become better for it. Steeling himself, he knocked on the door.

--

His fears about his family replacing him had been unfounded. As soon as she'd laid eyes on him, Alexa's expression had become impossibly bright. Rushing over to hug him, she'd exclaimed, "Luther!" in a tone happier than he'd heard his name used in a long time. He hugged her back, still careful not to hug too tightly, even without his super strength.

"The big galoot even dressed up for us," Five remarked dryly, giving his borrowed 'suit' a once-over. "What's the occasion, Luther?"

Alexa stepped away from him, still smiling like she'd won the lottery. He wondered if maybe his siblings had missed him just as much as he'd missed them. He cleared his throat and tried to recall the speech he'd practiced in the quiet of the old Academy. "I, uh, I'm not used to doing something like this. I mean, I know I'm supposed to be Number One and all— ah, shit," he cursed, the lines he'd planned getting jumbled in his head.

The blonde placed a reassuring hand on his arm. "Luther, it's okay." She turned to her boyfriend. "Fi, could you go outside or something? I think you're making him nervous."

"I'm making him nervous?" he exclaimed, his resting 'I'm-better-than-you' face shifting into exasperation. He threw up his hands, stalking over to the ice bucket. "Fine. But I am not standing out in the hallway like an idiot who got locked out his room."

Once the boy was gone, Alexa gently led her brother over to the bed and encouraged him to sit down. "What's up? And there's no need for all that 'Number One' bs— The Umbrella Academy never existed in this timeline. You're just my brother, okay?"

Luther's relaxed at her words, remembering why he'd made his eighth sibling his lieutenant of sorts. "Okay. . . okay. I know we haven't really kept in touch, and I'm sorry for that. These past few years have been hard on all of us. But. . . I want to change. I want to get together more often and I want a better life. I just. . . don't know how to do that. You and Five are making it out alright, so I thought. . . if you have the time, could you help me, uh. . ." His voice grew softer so that she had to strain to hear him, "find a new job?"

The girl's expression brightened once more and she threw her arms around him again. "Oh, Luther! Yes, of course I'll help you!" She pulled away, looking at him a little curiously. "I'm really happy you asked me, but. . . I would've thought that's something that you'd go to Allison for. You guys have always been close."

At the mention of their sister, Luther felt his stomach twist. It hadn't always been like that— that just hearing Allison's name made him feel uncomfortable— but ever since she'd. . . forced herself on him, his fuzzy feelings towards her had disappeared completely. His thoughts must have shown on his face, since Alexa reached forward and squeezed his hand. "Luther? What's wrong?"

He'd never told anybody what had happened in the pool room, not wanting to cause any trouble, but the memory plagued him at night sometimes when he couldn't sleep. That was the reason why he never left the stage during his dance routine— he didn't want to be that vulnerable again. He cleared his throat again and tried to bring himself back to the present. "I. . . we're not that close anymore. She has her own family now anyway, so I'm sure she's too busy to help."

Alexa squinted at him— he'd always been a shit liar. He knew that her protective instincts had been ingrained into her, even without powers, just like his leadership was his defining characteristic. "Luther, whatever happened between you two is clearly not nothing. If you need to talk to someone about it, you know I'm here for you, right?"

"I know," he said, intending to keep it in. But he only needed to take one look at the warmth of his sister's gaze, the openness of her expression, and it all came spilling out.

☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎

'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit
They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did

Being a cop wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Diego had wanted the authority and power that had come with the position but as it turned out, he still had to report to his superiors. At least he hadn't been kicked out of the Academy before getting his badge this time. Instead of cool missions and saving lives, though, he got to do endless loops around the city in his cop car as he looked for speeders and people who parked in the red. He'd hoped, at least, that the job would help him get in touch with Eudora again, but it seemed like she hadn't respawned into this universe.

With ample time on his hands, he made theories about how this timeline worked, and one thought had been that people who'd actually died in the original timeline stayed dead. Allison's husband, Ray, had lived in the 60s timeline, so he'd been pulled from there to exist here, plus she was the one to press the button. Besides Claire, he was the only person out of place as far as Diego knew. And he liked Ray— really, he had nothing against the man existing again— but he wished that Allison had been more godlike when she'd restarted the entire universe.

Even if he wasn't completely happy with his job— now that he'd experienced what being a cop was like, he thought the CIA would have been a cooler direction— he did like returning home each night to his family. Grace (named after his mom, of course) was almost a year old and she made his dead-end job worth it. He loved seeing Lila, too, even if she was too tired to greet him properly and barely had the energy for a brief kiss. Their relationship wasn't always smooth sailing— and he suspected that it would get even more rocky once their next child was born (as he didn't know they were expecting twins yet) — but there were times when it was almost perfect.

He made it a point to play an active role in his child's life after his father's numerous failings. He'd read parenting books before she'd been born, read to her at night so that Lila could go to sleep and he stayed with her on his days off to give his wife a break. Those were his favorite times, when it was just the two of them. They were sure to become more interesting once she got older, but even Grace's babbling was endearing to him.

She was burbling nonsense to him now as she sat in her high chair at the kitchen table. He stood, facing her, on the other side of the counter. There was a cutting board in front of him and he was chopping vegetables for their dinner. Diego was by no means an excellent cook— he'd eaten raw eggs, after all— but he'd gotten a little better. The one difficulty was that his knife expertise was absolute shit. He'd had more accidents than he could count since the loss of his powers, often nicking himself as he tried to do a move that he used to be able to do.

Grace let out a squeal, causing him to pause mid-chop to watch her wave her plastic spoon in the air happily. Smiling fondly at her, he told her: "soon, Gracie. It won't be long until dinner's ready, I pro— shit!"

His grip on the knife had slipped and the blade bit into his thumb. Bright red blood welled up in the cut, rolling over his finger and dripping onto the board. Diego dropped the knife with a clatter and rushed to the sink to wash it off. He sighed with relief as the coldness of the water took the sting away. He glanced over at his daughter, concerned that the sight of blood would freak her out. But all she did was giggle and smile toothily at him. Then—

"Shit!"

His eyes went wide. "Oh, man, your first word was not—"

"Shit!" She giggled again. (Although, Grace couldn't pronounce 'sh' very well, so it sounded like 'sit!' but the implication was there.)

Diego groaned, turning off the water to stare at her in dismay. "Lila cannot find out about this, okay? Let's pretend your first word was 'momma.' That would make her happy. She's going to kill me."

There was a pause where he hoped she would go with his suggestion. Then, Grace burst out: "shit!"

"Oh, fuck," he sighed. Then, he slapped a hand— the injured one, which he'd forgotten was hurt— to his forehead. He winced at the impact. "Fuck! Oh, fuck, fuck— fuck, think of another word! Any other word—"

They stared at each other in a battle of wills.

"'Uck!"

--

The chewing out Lila had given him had been epic in proportion. He'd known it was his fault that his daughter could now cuss like a sailor so to let her cool off, he went out for a drive. It was something he often did after they fought, though who was responsible for the argument usually was a lot less clear-cut.

He enjoyed the quietness of the streets after dark. In the old days, he would have a police radio to listen to the crime reports. While he still had his fighting skills, he'd found that his desire to use them was less and less the older Grace got. He didn't want to get hurt in a way that would prevent him from coming home to her. So, he just cruised around town instead. He didn't do so aimlessly, either.

His first stop was a pretty house with a semicircle driveway and a grand entrance with pillars framing the door. He idled outside as he waited for a glimpse of his niece and his sister, whom he'd only seen a couple times in the past few years. Then he would head into town, passing by the run down Academy. When he made sure there was no sign of struggle within, he moved on to the motel down on fifth avenue and park just underneath the second floor. He sometimes caught sight of two shadowy figures moving around. He would've checked in on Viktor, too, but his brother had already hightailed it out of the country and the night wasn't exactly long enough to make the trek up to Canada.

While he would be the first to admit that it was kind of a creepy pastime, his siblings hadn't gathered en masse since they'd arrived in this timeline. He still cared about them— even if he didn't say so aloud— and wanted to make sure they were making it out alright.

☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎

Lights, camera, big smile, even when you wanna die
He said he'd love me all his life

Acting wasn't the same. Allison struggled to get auditions. Producers yelled at her for even thinking. There were long hours that she didn't remember working in the past. Of course it was different, though: she couldn't Rumor her competitors away, get her bosses to shut up or cut her workday short. They said that there were no small parts, but they certainly treated her as a small actor. She quit the acting business only two years after arriving in this timeline.

She talked to Ray about what her next step should be since she didn't want to just be a stay-at-home mom. There was nothing wrong with that, of course, but she was far more ambitious and needed a job to keep her occupied. He'd reminded her about the hair salon she'd worked in during the sixties. She had liked working there and being a part of running it. So, she opened up her own salon downtown called Head in the Clouds. It had been a hit. Soon enough, she was the successful business owner of more than five locations across the city and tri-state area.

Allison had promised herself that she'd be more honest, too, even if it hurt. She told Ray everything, from landing in the Sparrow timeline to restarting the universe. He was patient and understanding with her as she explained how the loss of her loved ones had driven her to do the unthinkable. To her surprise and relief, he hadn't left. He'd stayed with her, even after everything. He loved her and Claire even though he knew she wasn't his real daughter. Claire thought that Ray was her real dad, though; Allison had made sure that any memories she' had of Patrick had been erased.

It had taken some time for her husband to become adjusted to this timeline, but she helped him figure things out, including what he wanted to do for a living. Advocating for minority rights was as important to him now as it had been in the sixties, so she suggested that he should run for a government position. He was a good leader, people tended to take a liking to him quickly and he was driven. Ray now worked as a congressman with a special interest in standing up for people of color. The only downside to his position was that he travelled a lot, so he wasn't home as often as Allison wished he could be.

Then, there was Klaus, who was living in her basement. It had started out as a week-long thing until he could find a home, but then it had become two weeks, three weeks, until she'd invited him to stay. He helped out a lot with Claire while she was at work, which she was grateful for. Sometimes she brought her daughter to the salon, much to the delight of the older ladies, but Claire was too young to leave the house for that long every day.

On those days, when she stayed home with Klaus, Allison missed her daughter the most. After giving up everything to be with her again, she wanted Claire to be around her all the time to make the most of their second chance. When she got home from work, her daughter would usually already be in bed, but still awake. Claire said that Klaus didn't tell stories as well as she did, which had nearly made Allison cry when she'd heard. So, she would rush upstairs to her daughter's room and curl up with her to tell her a bedtime story.

She held up the different books she'd bought her daughter over the years and offer them as options. "This one?" Claire shook her head. "This one?" Another shake. "This one."

"Uh-uh," the girl replied, smiling so that her dimple appeared in her left cheek. "I wanna hear about the time the Umbrella Academy defeated the robbers at the museum."

Allison's chest squeezed tight as the same memory resurfaced from years ago. Clair wouldn't remember it, but she certainly did. That had been the beginning of the end for her. In a slightly shaky tone, she murmured, "a-alright. It was a dark and stormy night. . ." Her voice faltered, causing her to pause until she regained it again. "They went in quietly, like mice. One by one, in a line. Your Uncle Luther. . ."

"You mean Spaceboy!"

She chuckled a little, but this time it was from awkwardness rather than the fondness it had once been. "He found the first one. Uncle Diego pinned down the second. Uncle Ben, he took down four at the same time, while your Uncle Klaus got a little distracted. Your Aunt Alexa made sure that none of us got hurt. I nicely asked their leader if he could put back what didn't belong to him. Then the robbers went to jail and the whole city, they threw us a very fancy party for saving the day."

It was a watered-down version of the real story, of course, but Claire smiled happily, none the wiser. "One more story, mommy!"

Allison had been prepared for the request. The last time her daughter had asked, she'd thrown a fit and Allison had Rumored her into submission. Not this time, though. She'd learned from her mistakes (not to mention the fact that she didn't have her powers anymore, but even if she did, it would be different.) "Okay, but I need you to promise me you'll go right to sleep after. You're already up past your bedtime."

The girl beamed up at her and lifted her hand, her littlest finger extended. "Okay, mommy! I pinky promise!"

As Allison hooked her pinky around her daughter's, the tightness in her chest eased. This time is was different, because she now knew what it was like to lose everything. And if her daughter wanted one more story— if she wanted a hundred stories— Allison would give it to her. She swore to herself that she would never take her daughter— her life— for granted again.

☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎

[ the fourth year ]

But that life was too short
Breaking down, I hit the floor
All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, "More"

Klaus' life had always been a wreck in some way. During his Academy days, it had been because of his father and his brothers' disappearances or death. Once he'd left his siblings behind, it had been to keep his powers at bay. He'd been alone for most of that time with only Ben, Diego or Alexa checking in on him when they could (although Ben didn't really have a choice.) Now, he didn't have any powers to worry about. He certainly didn't miss the specters that haunted his every step, wailing for attention. He only sort of missed being immortal.

But, the loss of his powers had made him realize how fragile he really was. In the old timelines, he'd died fifty-six times and come back from every single one. If he died now, that was it. Kaput. Nada reanimation. And he knew what death was like too, including the bitchy little-girl-on-a-bike who didn't like him. The thought of spending a permanent eternity with her was unbearable. It would make anyone become hyper-conscious of the risks of being alive.

Besides, he had a niece to look after. A little girl who was even more fragile than the average human was. He wanted to stick around for a long time and watch her grow up— make sure she was around a long time, too— and he couldn't go back to his old lifestyle. That didn't mean he knew how to live in his new one, though. Klaus was an all-or-nothing sort of person. Before, he'd done drugs and alcohol until he passed out (or died) and could never moderate himself. Now, he went in the complete opposite direction by living in a literal bubble.

He put up caution tape and made sure to only use safety scissors. He kept Claire away from any sharp objects as well and put baby covers on all of the outlets. He wouldn't even cross the street if a car was visible in any direction. A part of him was afraid that he would pollute his niece if any of his old life leaked through the cracks, so he made sure to bubble-wrap any areas that had the potential of threatening his new normal. It was boring compared to his old life, but at least now he wouldn't hurt anyone. He wouldn't make his sisters worry or his family embarrassed to be around their druggie brother. He could pull off this respectable, reliable version of himself.

"Heey Lexi," he greeted his sister in a sing-song tone. "Did you know that a ten-second kiss could make you exchange eighty-thousand bacteria? Think of all of those little guys swimming up your bloodstream! And that's not even including the risk of getting STDs when you have sex—!"

"'Hi, Klaus,'" came Alexa's amused reply. "'Have you been reading the pamphlets at the doctor's office again?'"

He laughed sheepishly. "Well, you know Claire goes there for her checkups and I have nothing to do, so. . ."

"'I appreciate the info, but I'm not gonna stop kissing Five,'" she informed him. "'How's mortality treating you?'"

"Not very well," he complained. "I had a little cough earlier and I was worried I was getting sick, but I took one of those at-home tests and it came back negative. I can't even pass those tests well!"

"'Technically you did pass since you aren't sick,'" Alexa pointed out.

Klaus waved a dismissive hand even though she couldn't see the gesture. "Yes, well, I'm fine now. Anyway, I was calling to see if you wanted to go to the movies with me and Claire. You don't hang out with this particular niece enough. Life is too short to miss out on spending time with the fam."

He heard her sigh through the phone. "'You know why I don't come over, Klausy. It's better for everyone if I give Allison her space, and I'm sure she'd prefer if I didn't interact with her daughter.'"

"Pleeaaase," he whined, sounding a bit like his old self. "I asked Diego to come but he said that he was 'too busy brooding' and Viktor said 'the drive was too far for just a movie, Klaus.' Can you believe them?"

"'So I'm your third choice?'" Alexa asked teasingly. "'Gee, thanks. I thought I was your favorite sister!'"

"You are. I didn't ask Allison to come to the movies. I just asked my brothers. You're the first sister I invited."

"'Fair point,'" she conceded. "'I thought you didn't like to leave the house?'"

Klaus played with the curly phone cord. "I don't, but there's safety in numbers. Three is perfect. Besides, you're the best protector I know. You'll keep us safe if anything happens."

There was a pause and he thought that he might've flattered her unintentionally— but if that convinced her to come, then he'd consider it a win. "'Yeah, alright. When are we going?'"

☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎

[ the third year ]

I was grinning like I'm winning, I was hitting my marks
'Cause I can do it with a broken heart

When Five had dreamt about retirement during his forty-five years in the apocalypse and the uncountable time in the Commission, this wasn't ever what he'd pictured. He would still have his powers, for one. He wouldn't be living in a shitty studio apartment. He might spend his days reading or maybe even fishing. The only thing that stayed true to this imagined time was that Alexa was there. She was there in every single one of his what-ifs; there wasn't a point to all of this— relaxing, whiling away time, not having a care in the world— if she wasn't there to enjoy it with him.

He remembered her own version of what their fairytale life might've been like. They had usually been sequestered away on their half-hour of free time on Saturdays, curled up together on her bed. She would draw and talk about what she hoped for their future away from their hellish home. Alexa had wanted a yellow house in the suburbs with a picket fence and lots of green plants. She had wanted to see their siblings often. They would travel for fun, seeing the world they'd spent so long trying to save. She'd even said that he would become a rocket scientist.

Their new life wasn't exactly like either of them had pictured. There was no suburban house— at least, not yet. There were no plants and no days spent fishing (they couldn't afford the frivolous purchases.) They didn't even see their siblings all that much, to her disappointment. But they had the most important thing: each other.

They'd stuck it out through the difficult first two years and were now forging a better life for themselves. It hadn't been easy, but they were both driven to excel in their own ways and together, they were unstoppable. Well, for the most part. His lack of powers still irritated him from time to time, like when they'd go out for groceries and come back with as much as they could carry.

Five stared in dismay at the flight of stairs that greeted him. It wasn't the first time he'd climbed them or even the first time he'd carried groceries up them, but it irked him every time. "Fuckin' stairs. Why'd we have to get an apartment on the third floor?"

Alexa huffed an amused laugh despite being weighed down with her own shopping bags. "Loads of people have to carry their groceries up the stairs, Fi. Welcome to the normie club."

"I never asked for membership," he grumbled. "This is a waste of energy. If I could blink I'd get us up there in half the time."

"Yeah, but you can't," she reminded him unnecessarily, though her tone was gentle. "You know, if you look at it a different way, these stairs are like a built-in gym. We're getting a workout for free every time we come home."

He sighed and adjusted his grip on the bags. "I don't know how you manage to put a positive spin on everything. I still think we should've gotten that place with the elevator."

"That was twice our budget," the blonde pointed out, mounting the first step. "Maybe if I get this CIA job we can move to a place with twenty-first century luxuries."

By the time they reached the third floor, both were slightly winded. Alexa fumbled with the keys, finally unlocking the door to their modest apartment. The space was small, but it was theirs, filled with the old but clean mismatched furniture. Five set the bags down on the kitchen counter and exhaled in relief. "Well, that's over. Next time, I'm ordering everything online."

"You always say that," Alexa replied as she began unpacking the groceries. "But you love picking out the produce yourself. Control freak."

He didn't bother denying it. "I just want to make sure we're getting the best of what little we can afford."

"I know," she said, smiling at him fondly. "Come on, let's put these things away. Then we make some coffee and sit on the fire escape."

Five nodded, mirroring her smile. "Sounds perfect."

Once they'd did as she suggested, they on the metal surface of the ladder outside their window, watching the city buzz around them. Horns honked, tires screeched and there was the occasional shout of a pedestrian. The coffee mug— a chipped, stained thing that Alexa had thrifted— was warm in his hands. Alexa leaned her head on his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her. They might not have everything they dreamed of, but they had each other. After finding out what life was like without her, that made all the difference in the world.

A/n: as you can see, I'm already changing up what's considered canon. I really didn't like the jobs the writers gave the siblings so I made them different. I feel like they were doing Luther a disservice by making him a stripper; he totally should've been a fireman or something. I wish they would've addressed Allison's SA on him, too; it was basically washed over since the season was so short. It won't really be the main focus here, either, but I wanted to at least address the fact that it happened.

Also, Ray WON'T be leaving Allison, he's just going to be out of state for work during s4. Diego can still hate his job as a cop, but at least it's closer to what he tried to be in s1. And Lila's parents aren't alive in this since they literally had no impact to the plot.

This was originally going to be all one chapter, but it was getting too long so the next part contains Ben's, Viktor's, Alexa's and Lila's POVs. This is what I wish would've happened in the actual show; even if we got only a ten-minute snippet of everyone living their lives without powers, I would've been happy with that. Oh well. Now I get to write it myself!