A few weeks later:

Jungkook's pov:

How came I was so stupid?

How that name didn't cross my mind?

How? Just how?

I was laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling and silently cursing and blaming myself.

Y/N.... She was Y/N, I'm so fucking sure..

She said she lost her memory in that car crash shit, that's why she didn't remember me, I'm sure.

"Fuck..." I hissed as I sat up, remembering how I growled at her. I didn't even give her a chance to tell us her name.

"Jungkookie, it's time to go." Hobi hyung said after opening my door.

"Coming hyung, coming..." I quitely said and he nodded before going out.

We had a concert that day, with the guilt and hurting heart I stood up and went out.

"Full of loneliness, this garden is bloomed, full of thorns, hmmm... I hung myself in this sand Castel."

"What's your name? Do you have a place to go? Oh could you tell me? Hmmm... I saw you hidden in this garden."

I should have asked her thoes questions before letting her go. I should have known her name. Does she really has a place to go? My love towards her is hidden, and I'm afraid, will it be hidden forever?

"And I know, all of your warmth is true, I want to hold your hand, picking up the blue flower."

"It's my fate, don't smile on me, light on me, because i can't come to see you, there's no name you can call me..."

She hates me now. There's no name she can call me with, and none for me to call her with... All of this is because of my unlucky fate...

"You know that I can't, show you me, give you me, I can't show you a run-down part of myself, I wear a mask and go to see you..."

"But i still want you..."

I still want her, I'm sure she's Y/N, my Y/N, but how can I go to look at her eyes while I was the one who kicked her out of my life?

"Bloomed in a garden of loneliness, a flower that resembles you, I want to give it to you when take off this foolish mask."

"But i know I can never do that, I must hide... because I'm ugly..."

"I am afraid, I am run-down, I am so afraid that you'll leave me again in the end, I wear a mask again and go to see you..."

What if she leaves me again like when she left back in high school?

"What I can do is, in the garden, in this world, i bloom a pretty flower that looks like you and breathe as the me that you know..."

"But i still want you..."

"Maybe, back then, a little, just this much if I got the courage to stand before you, would everything be different now..."

Tears wouldn't stay in my eyes anymore, they made thier way down, running from thier stupid owner who's me. She hates me now... Did she even ever liked me? Loved me?

"I'm crying at this, dissappear, fallen. Sand castle that's left alone, looking at the broken mask..."

And that broken mask is me, I'm broken for you Y/N...

"And I still want you....."

Narrator:

"Can you please give me the adress of Lee Hwan? That guy that you guys sent for us." Jungkook asked the other line of the phone, pacing back and forth in his room, Hoseok and Jimin looking at him, thier head spinning due to Jungkook's moves.

"Ah... he left some of his stuffs here and I'm in charge to give them back to him." He lied.

"No no! No need to, I'm doing that by myself, I'm free right now and I want to do something, you know... I'm bored..." He scratched the back of his head.

"Okay thanks. Bye." He hung up, letting out a sigh.

"What did they say?" Jimin asked right away.

"They'll send me the adress in a few minutes." He said as he slide open the closet door, trying to find a good-casual outfit for himself.

"Jungkook, are you sure about this? Maybe she's not Y/-"

"Hobi hyung," He turned around to face his hyung sitting on is bed. "I know I'm not sure if she's Y/N, but I'm sure about what I'm gonna do. I'll try this too. She means a lot to me, and I'll do what's necessary for getting her."

Hearing this words coming out from the maknae of the group, Hoseok gave up. He gave up on him, because he knew that Jungkook won't give up on this girl.

Being different from the one he used to see in high school, Jungkook was confused. Even though he has her features details in his mind perfectly, but still he couldn't say that she's really the beautiful high schooler he used to like and he's now loving.

The ding from his phone made a skip on his heart. Motherfucker startled me..

He opened the message and it was what exactly he was waiting for, the nameless girls' home address.

She did have a place to go... Ugh Jungkook, you deserve your Mom's curses for kicking her out...

The place was a good hour away from where he's.

After putting on a turtle neck black blouse, black tight jeans-showing off his muscular thigs, and a denim Balenciaga jacket, he finally put on a bunch of silver and black earrings and went out of his room.

Reaching the front door of thier house, he looked back at his hyungs, who had a full of concern gaze on him, but a smile also to support him.

"You can do it, bro." Taehyung said, giving him a thumbs up with his heart melting smile.

He offered a smile and turned around to face the door, grabbed the door knob before opening it, then going out.

I'm coming Y/N.

After an hour of drive, wich felt like a year for him, he turned off his car infront an apartment that seemed to be Y/Ns'.

He opened the door and went out looking up at the building before going in.

Pressing the button of the elevator several times, he gave up with a heavy sigh, turning around to the staircase, making his way up to 5th floor.

Just let me gain your heart, and see if I let you take a breathe in this shitty place again...

Standing infront of the door of thier once called butler who turned to be a girl and that now he's assuming to be his first love, he took a deep breath and brought his curled up to a fist shaky hand to the door, just to bring it down again, hesitating to knock on the door.

Come on you can do it Jungkook. You'll knock on the door, she'll open it, and you'll ask if she's the one you're looking for or not.

Nothing less nothing more. That's all.

Giving himself as much strength he could, he again brought his hand up, the strength lasting till he knocked twice, but fading away when after 1 minute or so she opened the door.

He stood still, an unreadable expression on his face, looking down at the girl infront of him who appeared to be shocked, not expecting to see the great Jeon Jungkook, the golden maknae of BTS in the door of her apartment.

Oh man... She should be Y/N, there's no damn way she's another girl.

His heart filled with guilt, as if the already boiling guilt in his heart wasn't enough, looking at her pale face, the black circles around her eyes, her now skinny body.

Her hair was reaching her shoulders, the pink PJ with Kookie head's on it looked so cute on her, but he had no time for that.

Why's she looking so horrible? I mean her state, she looks like she's sick.

"U-um, hi..." he muttered. "I'm h-here to ask you one question."

She, on the other side felt like she was going to pass out. Jeon jungkook! Her bias! Her first crush! Was right infront of her!

Trying to calm her crazy heart down she cleared her throat and put on a normal expression.

Calm down hoe, he's just here to throw another bunch of hard and painful words on you and will go away...

But wait, does he really remember me?

She fully opened the door, and stepped aside before saying, "C-come in..." She stuttered, looking down at the ground.

"No! - I mean, if you're uncomfortable... I'll stay o-outside..."

"No... Come in please..."

Stepping inside, the first thing he noticed was her sweet scent hitting his nose.

He stepped further in the apartment and looked around. She was a neat freak. Everything in it's place, clean and beautiful. It was obvious that her apartment was different from each and every other apartment here in this place.

The area was indeed old, but hers was new and cozy.

He sat down on one of the small couches and looked at her who was standing infront of the door wich maybe led her to the kitchen.

"Do you want anything to drink...? Water, coffee..." She asked, looking anywhere but him.

He thought for a moment, then he wanted to reject, but knowing if he drink something, it will make him stay longer here, with her. He wanted to stay as long as possible with that uncertainty in his mind. He wanted to know if this girl is Y/N, and didn't want to know at the same time.

If he finds out about the truth, maybe he'll be happy, or sad.

"Um a coffee is fine...."

She nodded and went through the door behind her, and after 5 minutes she came out with 2 big pink mugs of coffee, placing one of them on the small coffee table infront of Jungkook, but before she could put it down, Jungkook grabbed it with both of his hands and bowed his head with a "Thank you."

She nodded her head in response and went to sit on the opposite side, facing him.

Having the biggest idol in her apartment, sitting on one of her couches, drinking coffee in one of her favourite coffee mugs, was something she never thought of.

She wished she was a normal army rather that being this full of trouble person.

She wanted to go and bring her phone and take pictures with him, not sitting thier thinking about whether he could remember her.

She wanted to have one of his signatures on her albums, rather than thinking about whether he likes her like she does or not.

"So, um..." His voice cut through the thick tension between them, and brought her back to reality.

"What's your real name?"

Eh? Oh! Wait what?

He took her by surprise. Like she was really surprised. She expected something like Why did you come to us as a boy?! or Why did you lie with us? or some other type of questions, but never this question was expected from him.

She still was silent, only looking at him, her heart slamming inside her. It was beating so fast and loud that she wonders, can he hear my heartbeat?

"Are you....

Y/N?"

(A/N) Thanks for reading ❤ please vote, and leave your thoughts ❤

Shine, dream, and smile 🌌💜