~To Love is to Burn~

She dismissed Martha and Alice for the night as soon as she returned to her chambers, nerves tying her stomach in knots, so much so she knew she wouldn't be able to bear being touched or spoken to by anyone.

Not unless it was Richard.

And so she struggled with the laces of her gown and kirtle alone, slid the pins from her hennin, putting it aside, and selected a nightgown from the coffer at the end of her bed. She shivered when she put it on, out of excitement and a twinge of fear. Would he wish to see her naked? The only man to ever see her so had been Edward and he'd known her first when she was younger....

Shaking her head, she walked quickly to the dressing table, sitting down and grasping an ivory comb from the polished wood surface. With a shaking hand, she drew it through her hair, one stroke, two strokes, three strokes, four, until not one strand was out of place and it flowed in a river down her back. She was glad she had bathed that morning, the scent of jasmine clung to the dark brown waves and her skin was soft.

Placing down the comb, she reached for a crystal bottle a little further away and dabbed the rose scented oil on her neck and wrists, trying with all she had not to drop it; placing it down quickly so she did not.

She looked into the mirror, examining every inch of her reflection, leaning closer and running a hand over her left cheek, tilting her head from side to side. The dark circles under her eyes had not yet fully recovered and she had a few lines here and there from a combination of age, grief and stress but she was still pretty enough she supposed, at least, she hoped, pretty enough for Richard.

The green of her eyes was still lovely, her skin unblemished and not sallow and her figure was still lithe. Perhaps she would do?

Leaning on the table before her, arms bent at the elbows, hands resting on her forehead, she closed her eyes.

"Calm yourself" She hissed, feeling her right leg begin to bob up and down at an uncontrollable pace, nails digging into her palms "He wants you. He told you so himself! And I want him!" He would not be perfect either, she said to herself, he was a seasoned warrior and the past year had taken it toll but he was perfect to her, she knew that, she wanted him as he was and no other way! Did he feel thus of her?

She was over half a decade older than him but she was not ancient! Or she did not think she was....

And what if they were caught? The dowager Queen in the arms of her brother in law? If she ever wished to marry again she would have to ask her son's permission - permission he may not give - and for she and Richard to be seen in one another's arms outside of wedlock, well, the consequences would be catastrophic for more than they.

Did she even wish to marry again, she suddenly found herself questioning. Desire was one thing but marriage, binding two people together unto death in the eyes of the law and God? Was she truly ready for such a thing if Richard asked? No, was the plain answer, she was not. She could take another to her bed, into her heart but not into her soul, not yet. Perhaps not ever.

Edward was her husband. She could not see any other man, not even Richard, being so.

If the Woodvilles had not taken the throne she likely wouldn't have felt for him as she did then nor wish to bed him that night. She would still be in full mourning for Edward, ruling in her son's stead with no mind for anything else, but circumstances had greatly changed the order of things and now desire was what she felt in place of grief. Life was needed instead of death.

Perhaps that night was the last time she would feel such things as pleasure, perhaps after her son was restored to the throne, after all was returned to normality, her grief would overcome her once more and she would lock her heart away for all eternity? There were so many unanswered questions, the future as misty as a winter morn.

Shaking her head, she looked up, letting out a huff of annoyance at herself. It was all so new! She'd never imagined herself with any other man apart from Edward, never thought any other would see her in such an intimate manner! Oh Edward....

"Edward is not here" She whispered, looking at her hands as she forced them to fold in her lap, fiddling with the rings she was yet to remove "You miss him but he is not here and he would not wish for you to be miserable! Hell, he never rejected his desires! Why should you deny yourself the man who has stirred yours? I am a widow. I do not do this from spite or anger, it is not borne from any other sin but lust and I am not the first nor shall I be the last to feel or indulge in it! There!"

Pushing her shoulders back, she gave her reflection one last glance before rising and walking to her bed; retrieving the velvet robe she had laid out atop the covers. Another gift. She pulled it on, running her fingers through the fine fur adorning the collar and took a breath.

The time had come and she made for the servant's door. Opening it just a crack, she flinched at the small squeak of the hinges before listening for any footsteps or voices - anything that could suggest the presence of another. After a minute or so, she was satisfied and she slipped into the corridor.

It was truly happening, she thought, and a fraction of her nerves transformed to delicious anticipation.Was she finally to be locked in a tender embrace once more? Touched with passion and kissed with love?

She could already feel the beginnings of pleasure coiling in the pit of her stomach at the mere thought and her steps hastened a little, the lamps upon the walls guiding her way, lighting the rout to Richard's chambers until she arrived outside the door.

She was sure her heart stopped for a few moments before it began to flutter in her chest like a wild butterfly on the brink of flapping its wings right off!

Raising a fist, she gave a gentle knock and her heartbeat only quickened when Richard's muffled call for entry reached her ears. Turning the door handle, she entered to be met with the sight of him laid on his side on his bed, head propped up on a hand as he read the book beneath him; dressed in his shirt and breeches.

He looked up.

A small smile spread across his lips as she shut the door behind her, one hand keeping the front of her robe closed, though his eyes roamed her body regardless.

"You came"
He didn't sound surprised, he sounded happy. She nodded.
"You asked me to. And I wanted to"

With a flick of his free hand, the book was shut and put aside - forgotten. He rose and she felt a heated blush spread across her cheeks, forcing her to avert her gaze to the floor beneath. It felt a little like her wedding night, she thought, but this time, her fears were borne of different avenues.

"Come" She looked up to see Richard before her, holding out a hand, a question, and she answered by taking it, breathing deeply as he lead her further into the chamber and to the hearth; turned to face her. In such a light she could see him more clearly, the lines of his face, the desire in his eyes, and he could see her.

"Are you happy here? Or do you wish to...." He gave a small nod toward the bed and she shook her head, exhaling a shaking breath as the tips of his fingers trailed up her arm, along her shoulder and neck before his hand rested on her cheek "You are so very beautiful, Connie" He bent his head and as soon as his lips were upon hers, the knots in her stomach slipped loose, her fears melting into nothing as she responded, placing her hands on his chest.

Slipping an arm around her waist, he pulled her gently against his body, eliciting a small gasp that allowed him to deepen the kiss. Constance's fingers sunk into the curls of his hair, gently tugging, stroking the back of his neck as she descended into bliss. He was so warm, so alive and so tender, easing her into his ministrations yet she found neither had the patience to keep a slow pace for long.

She pressed herself harder against him, prompting his skilled hands to slip his hands beneath her robe, squeezing and stroking her hips through her nightgown. A small moan left her and he smiled against her lips before placing kisses along her jaw and neck, teeth gently grazing the sensitive skin.

She knew she perhaps ought to feel guilty but she did not, not one bit, she only felt a desire to have Richard, a desire to have him claim her.

She wanted to be his entirely.

Shrugging and rolling her shoulders, she shook her robe from her frame, listening to its soft thud as it hit the floor in a heap. Slowly, he began to turn her, backing her toward the bed, his hands sliding up her arms, fingers hooking under the thin straps of her nightgown, lifting, ready to slowly strip it from her when....

"Richard, wait!" She whispered, her own hands flying up and pressing across her chest, digging into her skin. Richard immediately released her, looking down at her in concern.

"Is all well, Connie?"

"Yes but...." She hesitated, shaking her head, gaze upon the floor "I am not as young as I once was. My body is....changed. Edward always loved it because I bore his children, the marks I bear were the sign of our sons strength, our daughters determination but to others...."

Biting the inside of her cheek, she forced herself to slow the unrelenting torrent of words pouring from her mouth despite her desire for them to be gone, expelled from her mind "I may be unattractive. Old. And besides, I still bear the scars of Somerset's hospitality upon my back"

For a moment, silence hung between them but then Richard sighed, reaching up and gently taking her hands away from her nightgown and into his own, smoothing his thumbs across her knuckles.

"Oh, Connie, sweet, sweet, Connie" She dared to look up from the floor to see him gazing at her with an adoring smile "We each carry our scars, they are the signs that we have lived and that we are human" He told her "You know of my back?" She nodded, he tilted his head "And does that repulse you? Make you wish never to touch me? Dash all of your desire?"

"No!" She exclaimed, how could it? It was part of him and she wanted him!

"Precisely" He replied "I do not expect a virgin maid, sweetheart, nor do I want one!" Her stomach twisted deliciously at the endearment. It made her feel wanted, special. It felt like an eternity since she'd been truly special to someone "I want you, I expect to see you and you are pure perfection in mine eyes. Your body has produced sons, a King of England, a future Empress! How could it be anything but?"

Taking a breath, warmed by his words, she nodded, gently pulling her hands from his and reaching for the straps of her nightgown, brushing them from her shoulders and allowing the garment to slip from her body. Immediately, she looked to the floor, tempted to cover herself but Richard stepped forward, sliding an arm around her waist.

Softly, the fingers of his free hand traced from her hip, to her side, over the silvery lines on her stomach, up to her right breast, making her breath shudder in delight before he cupped it, smoothing a thumb over her hardening nipple.

"Tu es si belle" 'You are so very beautiful' He whispered and removed his hand for just a moment to tug his shirt over his head before placing both on her waist; pulling her against him. Hers made a tentative track up his chest, feeling the taught lines of his muscles, the slightly raised white ridges of the small scars littering his skin.

Bending her head, she pressed a gentle kiss to one just below his left shoulder blade and he gave a small groan of pleasure. A little more confident, she trailed more across his chest, slow and heated, up to his right shoulder, and along it. She could feel his cock pressing against her thigh, hands squeezing her body, eager to feel every dip and curve, every scar across her back.

His desire was because of her, she thought, and it emboldened her.

Letting go, this time it was she who made toward the bed, climbing onto the covers, laying back; hair spread out around her like a waved halo. The pillows were soft beneath her head and smelt pleasantly of him, the sheets still a little warm in the place he'd previously lain.

Under his adoring gaze, fixated in reverence on her body, she was now certain he found her desirable. She held out a hand.
"Come"

He did not need to be asked twice. Freeing himself from his breeches, the material puddling on the floor, he joined her on the bed, lying on his side next to her, head propped up on his hand as he reached out to touch her again. Her breath shuddered with anticipation, it had been so long since she'd seen a man, felt his skin against hers, felt the need to touch, to be touched.

"I do not think I shall ever let you leave" He murmured as he bent his head, wrapping his lips around her nipple which had her cry out softly in pleasure, hands diving into his hair. It was so easy between them, every touch felt natural, every reaction without embarrassment or hesitation.

"Richard...." She breathed as he gently suckled her, free hand learning the dips and curves of her body with nothing short of delight in his passionate touch. Of their own volition, her legs parted a little, hips giving a gentle roll as he began to massage the breast he'd left unattended, squeezing and stroking in a way that drove her mad.

She could feel the wetness growing between her thighs and they spread a little more when she lifted his head from her breast and kissed him full on the mouth, pulling him atop her. Another time she would wish to be atop him, to hold all the power, but that night she wished to have the delicious the weight of his body lightly pressing against hers, to feel him move between her thighs when he took her, to have him gazing down upon her as she gazed up at him as she did the stars, lost in their beauty.

"You are well?" He breathed as he straddled her, kissing her again before she could reply but she nodded all the same, smiling, heart warm. He was so very sweet. His fingers danced down her body, brushing past her navel to between her thighs and when they met with their hot destination. A pleasured cry was pulled from her lips, mingling with a gasp as lighting shot up her spine, making her toes curl. Her eyes fluttered shut.

It had been so long since she'd been touched there, so so long but she had no time to think on it as Richard began his skilled ministrations - stroking, teasing, making the pleasure in her belly tighten; her body shudder, coaxing the wetness from her centre as easily as a tune from his lute.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him close, moaning into the crook of his neck which spurred him on, gently pressing his thumb against her clit and moving it in smooth circles.

"Dickon!" She moaned, hips bucking up to meet his hand, teeth grazing his shoulder before she pulled away to kiss him again, groaning wantonly into his mouth. She wanted more. She needed more. And he gave it to her. Thumb still on her clit, he gently slid a finger into her, chuckling at the way she shivered as he did so, kissing him fiercely with a whine.

"Please..." She whispered though she had no need to beg, he would give her anything and all she desired and he began to pump his finger in and out of her dripping cunt. He added a second, then after a while, a third and he could tell she was close to climax. She'd begun to mumble his name over and over, nails digging into his back, one leg coming up to wrap around his hip.

How on earth did he get so lucky, he wondered, gazing down at her pleasure-filled face - lips parted, cheeks flushed.

"Let go, sweetheart" He whispered, adding just enough pressure to her clit and Constance came with a loud cry, so loud he had to cover her mouth with his hand until it ended. Her body shook, white dots flashing before her eyes as she clung to Richard with all her might, back arching from the bed.

"Richard" She whispered, kissing him, tugging on his hair, wrapping her free leg around his hip with the other "I need you" She murmured against his lips "Give yourself to me.....I need you inside of me"
"Connie...."

He nodded and broke the kiss for a moment to line himself up with her entrance, taking her hands in his; pulling a whine from her when the head of his cock gently nudged her clit before he began to push in.

The stretch of him stung and tears pricked Constance's eyes but it was so lovely, made her feel so complete. She welcomed the burn, relished it and every filling inch he had to give "Kiss me" She demanded and his lips were immediately on hers, hands gently squeezing as he began to thrust in and out of her, bodies brushing together.

She felt as if she'd entered heaven, no, not heaven, her own perfect world with only she and Richard in it, a place of bliss for them both as the pain faded, replaced with a rising pleasure.

"Fuck" He moaned, burying his face in her neck and she gasped as one particularly pleasurable thrust hit her, making her body arch again, hips rolling with his. It felt so good, so very good.

Pulling one of her hands from his grasp, she caressed the back of his neck, kissing the side of his head, before raking her nails gently down his spine while she moaned his name, feeling him speed up. He was intoxicating, all consuming and she adored it, feeling herself hurtling towards another climax as he was doing, pulling his head up to smash their lips together again.

Face contorting with pleasure, he snaked a hand down her body, slipping his fingers between her legs and beginning to rub her clit, drawing another cry of his name from her lips. He fucked into her faster and faster peppering kisses over her face and neck before claiming her lips once more.

Her blood fizzed, muscles tightening, moans pouring from her mouth as she tumbled off the edge of the presapesse she'd teetered upon. Richard followed within moments as she squeezed around him, groaning her name, collapsing atop her.

"Connie" He whispered "My sweet Connie"
"Richard" She gasped, clasping him close, pressing kisses to his hair as her chest heaved, lungs grasping for air. He'd called her his, his Connie, just as Edward had. It felt so very right "Never let me go, not ever"

"Never" He swore, forcing himself to raise his head, cradling her cheek "Never, sweetheart" Kissing her jaw, he trailed his lips down her neck, gently sucking on her pulse before moving lower; kissing and caressing her breasts.

"Dickon...."
"What?" He asked, looking up with a smirk "You are not finished with me yet are you? Because I certainly am not finished with you and don't intend to be for quite a while" There was a dark look in his eyes, one she hadn't seen before but it made desire spark between her thighs once more.

At that moment, she didn't wish for him to ever be finished with her.

༻᯽༺

That night she slept little, mainly due to Richard's insatiable appetite and hers! Thrice he had had her, five times she had peaked, she floated in a river of pleasure, relishing every passionate touch and tender kiss, every spark that whizzed up her spine like lightning.

When, at long last, they tired, they spoke to one another, bodies entangled like two branches of the same tree clinging to one another as they grew and blossomed.

They whispered sweet endearments, soft nothings, not of war or the uncertainty of the future but of good things, nice things as young lovers did in the age of freshly spoilt innocence when all seemed bright and rosy and oh so right! It was well past three in the morning when they finally slept and Constance wagered she'd slept around two hours when she awoke to golden beams starting to slip through the shutters.

The sun was only just beginning to rise but they did not have long left she realised with a heavy heart. It was time for her to return to her chambers, leave the man sleeping peacefully with her beneath the covers. Her heart dearly wished she were able to risk staying a while longer, daring to slip away with moments to spare before the castle awoke but she could not, she would not.

She had risked enough in coming to him, more in staying, she could not afford to be so foolhardy as to not return to her chambers in good time and risk being caught. Sighing, she glanced down at Richard.

How different he was from his brother, she mused, they were alike as night and day. While Edward always ensured her pleasure, bringing her to heights so high she thought she would pass through the gates of heaven, it was different from the way Richard had worshiped her that night.

He clung to her like she was a piece of wood in the ocean, his only lifeline, pressing their bodies together so they could never be parted. He nuzzled into her neck, clasped her hands in his when he entered her and even then, while they slept, his head rested on her chest; one arm draped across her waist. So tender, so gentle.

He was almost innocent, in a way, she thought, brushing a few dark locks from his face. In the soft light of the dawn there wasn't a trace of the serious warrior he appeared by day, he was simply the man she felt the urge to protect and, tightening her arms around him, she decided she would no matter if he thought he needed it or not!

"Dickon?" She whispered, gently shaking his shoulder "Dickon?" He groaned and she felt the arm around her waist tighten before he reluctantly opened his eyes which were heavy with sleep. A rare thing indeed "Darling, I must go" She had never called him darling before, or any other romantic endearment for that matter but it seemed right to say in that moment and so she said it. He groaned again, shaking his head and closing his eyes.

"Not now" He murmured against her skin, tone bordering on petulant "Not yet"

"I have to" She replied with a small smile and a warm heart, resisting the urge to giggle at the endearing sight before her "If we are caught, we shall never again enjoy such pleasures as we did last night" He only gave a deep noncommittal hum in reply, raising his head to kiss her cheek, the morning stubble on his chin scraping her jaw a little "I hope I did please you?"

His eyes fluttered open again. He smiled.
"You did please me all too well, sweetheart, you know that, and I hope I pleased you"

Mere words could not truly describe how he had made her feel, he'd given her wings and made her fly, given her water and made her blossom, given her starving soul the love it craved and ceased the excruciating hunger within.

He had given her life.

"Greatly" She replied, kissing his forehead before reluctantly pulling herself from his embrace. She knew if she didn't leave then, she never would! His fingers chased after her, desperate to return her to his arms at which she giggled as she tiptoed over to the hearth where her robe lay.

Sliding it on, she retrieved her nightgown and watched as Richard sat up with another groan, rubbing the sleep from his eyes "You needn't rise" She murmured "Rest a while longer, Dickon"
"I'd much rather see you than take to sleeping"
"Well I shall be gone in a mere moment!" She replied with a quiet laugh, padding back to the bed to kiss him one last time.

She couldn't resist, not with him gazing at her as he did, hair tousled, body warm. Immediately his hands found her, gently stroking her waist, trying to pull her closer. If only she could allow him to.

"I must go" She whispered against his lips and pulled away, kissing the tips of her fingers and pressing them to the tip of his nose with a fond smile "I shall see you in but a few hours"
"And they shall be torture!" He called after her as she walked away toward the servants door "Every second without you is so!"