~The Great Wide World~

February 1477, Westminster Palace....

Edward brooded over what to do with his brother, debating between a swift rebuke and a calculated response. In the end, he wrote to Richard, asking his younger brother's advice. Constance didn't read his reply, she only knew mere hours after it arrived, Edward had sent out soldiers to arrest his brother and bring him to London to answer for his crimes.

She only hoped he would come calmly, she thought as she gently braided Marie's hair before pushing George aside in her head. Today was not the day to think on him, today was the day to think on her little love for before the sun set, she would be away to her new home.

All around her in the Princess' attendants folded her gowns and wrapped her belongings in silk, packing them away into great chests. Normally it would be them who did the Princess' hair too but the Queen was determined to see to that task, knowing it would likely be the last time she ever would. Her little girl was growing and she needed one last moment where she was still her precious baby.

Marie sat with her back straight on the dressing table stool, staring at her Mother in the mirror. Constance smiled, catching her eye.
"As-tu peur, mon amour?" 'Are you afraid, my love?' The girl shook her head a little, being careful not to ruin her Mother's work.

"Je suis triste de te quitter" 'I am sad to be leaving you' She admitted and Constance's heart swelled with adoration. She bent down, pressing a quick kiss to her daughter's cheek "Mais je n'ai pas peur" 'But I am not afraid' Marie continued "Je sais que c'est mon devoir et je l'accomplirai avec fierté, en te gardant toujours, toi et Père, dans mon cœur" 'I know it is my duty and I will carry it out with pride, always keeping you and Father in my heart'

"Vous êtes une vraie rose York" 'You are a true York rose'

She pushed her shoulders back against proudly and smiled into the mirror. She hoped her Father thought the same!

"Now" Constance murmured picking up the cone-shaped headdress with a coronet at the base and a sheer veil flowing from the top, on the nearby bed and a handful of pins with it "You always carry your hennin well, my love" She praised as she placed it on her daughter's head, sliding the pins in to secure it "and you must always hold your head high, like the Queen you shall one day be. Here, I have something for you"

Reaching into the sleeves of her gown, she retrieved a square of crimson silk, placing it in front of her daughter and nodding for her to open it. Marie did so with nimble fingers and she let out a gasp of shock and delight when she saw what was inside. A collar of pearls and diamonds lay on the silk, small sapphires dangling between them and hanging from the centre, a York rose pendant encrusted with diamonds, dazzling in the morning light.

"Oh ma Mère" She breathed, carefully picking it up "but this is yours!" She exclaimed turning to look up at Constance who was beaming.
"Queen's jewels for a Queen one day to be!" She said and took the necklace from Marie's hand, placing it around her neck and deftly fastening the clasp.

"Ma Mère...." Marie whispered again, her fingers reaching up to brush across the rose, her family ring glinting with it "Thank you"
"It is no less than you deserve, little love....there, you are ready"

She rose from her stool, admiring her new gown of light blue damask velvet before staring around her bedchamber as her Mother clasped a crimson cloak trimmed with ermine around her shoulders. This had been hers for many a year "You will feel just as at home at Berkeley once you settle in" Her Mother assured her, linking their arms and guiding her through the maze of open and shut chests; out of the chamber door "And you shall be able to see your brother and Uncle Richard more!"

"I should like that very much!" Marie enthused, determined to focus on the positives of the move and not the sadness she felt at leaving her family. It would be nice to see Neddy and Dickon more often, she thought, she adored them both and they adored her! Perhaps she could assist her brother in some of his languages?

"Would you like to say farewell to your brother and sisters? Cecily and Isabella are leaving tomorrow and Aliénor is to join them at Eltham!"

"I would like that dearly" Marie replied and they headed to the nursery, Constance dismissing the children's nurses as they entered.
"Marie!" Cecily squealed, running towards her sister and throwing her arms around her legs, quickly joined by Isabella who did the same. They were both wearing the necklaces she'd given them when they first went to Eltham, Marie noted with a smile.

"Hello Cissy! Hello Issy! How are you?"
"Mother says you are leaving today" Isabella complained "but not to Eltham! Why not?"
"Because she is older!" Constance laughed, walking over to baby Richard's crib and lifting him into her arms "Ah, hello, sweet boy!" She cooed, nuzzling into his soft cheek "Marie will have her own household and, one day, you shall too!"

Cecily poured, crossing her arms.
"I don't think I like that, I want to be with Issy"
"And I want to be with Cissy" Isabella added, taking her hand "We stay together!" Their Mother laughed.

"You shall not have your own households for many years to come, my loves! You need not worry" The little girls looked unconvinced.
"When, Mother?" Isabella asked.
"When your are the same age as Marie, around twelve!"

That seemed to relax them and they smiled at one another, nodding.
"Eternity away!" Cecily sighed happily and Marie bent down, opening her arms to her sisters and giggling when they rushed into them.
"I will not be gone forever!" She promised "I shall see you at Christmas" Isabella and Cecily each gave her a kiss on the cheek before skipping away to play with their dolls.

"That is them sated!" Constance chuckled, walking over with baby Richard and Marie grinned, placing a gentle kiss to her baby brother's head "Shall we?"
"We shall" She answered, following her to the nursery door, looking back a final time before looking confidently ahead and striding through the corridors.

When she reached the courtyard, a carriage was waiting for her with a few attendants, the baggage train behind with her belongings. Her whole life packed away into trunks and chests, apart from the people in it of course, she doubted any trunk could fit her Father in it!

He was there of course, waiting at the top of the steps in his royal robes, though without his crown.
"Ah, my little lion!" He greeted, bowing to her with a grin before opening his arms which she rushed into "Don't you look beautiful today!"
"Thank you, Father!" She replied, blushing proudly at the praise "Mother gave me one of her necklaces, see!" She stood back so he could look and his smile widened.

"I know!" He chuckled "I helped her choose it!" Well, that only made her love it even more! "It makes you look a woman grown, Marie!" Her blush deepened from pink to red and she held out her hand.
"I'm wearing the ring you gave me too! I shan't take it off at Berkeley just as I haven't taken it off since you gave it to me!"

"It's beautiful!" He said catching her fingers and giving them a kiss before reaching into his robes and drawing out a red leather purse; pressing it into her hand. Her heart leaped when she heard the clink of coins "For you" He murmured with sparkling eyes "Spend it however you choose and if you have need of any more, you need only write to me and I shall send it"

Tears of love gathered in her eyes at the true realisation that he would be far away....so far away from her, as would her Mother. Chuckling, he pulled her into his arms "There now, little lion" He soothed "Do not weep, we shall see you in the summer!" 
"But that's so far away!" She complained.
"It won't be once you arrive!" He replied "You will be happy and time will fly! It will seem a matter of days" She peered up at him, blinking back her tears "There, that's the brave little lion I know!"

Bending down, he kissed her forehead and took her hand in his, leading her down the steps; Constance and the baby in tow. With each step, a bundle of nerves wound right in her stomach, one that only worsened when her attendants curtsied to her, her Father nodded, squeezing her hand before he let go, lifting baby Richard into his arms as she made to climb into the carriage.

She turned her head, looking back at her Mother who looked on the verge of tears and, in an instant, found herself rushing back to her, throwing her arms around her waist. She'd been with her Mother her whole life, constantly by her side, the apple of her eye, her own dear heart. They were a great part of one another. Constance instantly held her tight, kissing her brow over and over, her breaths shaking.

"I don't want to leave you, ma Mère....I don't want to go away...." She was well aware she sounded like her little sisters but she didn't care and neither did her Mother.
"I know, my love" She whispered "I know....but you must be brave, it is time to be brave like a York" Pushing her daughter back gently, she gave her a nod "Be brave, be a Queen, my little love"

Taking a breath, Marie turned away and, without looking back, climbed into the carriage.

༻᯽༺

March 1477, Berkeley Castle, Gloucester....

As her carriage rolled into the courtyard of Berkeley Castle, royal trumpets blaring, announcing her arrival, Marie reached up and adjusted her crown, her hair caught in a golden coif. It was the one her Mother had made for her, the same as the one her sisters had, and she also wore her bejewelled collar. It made her feel her beloved Mother was still with her.

Swallowing her nerves, she brushed the ermine of her cloak and velvet of her plum gown, the placket and cuffs of her sleeves made of cloth of gold. She sat alone in the carriage, having left her London attendants at her residence that morning, only her own thoughts for company.

She hoped her governess was as nice as her Mother had promised she would be. She was Lizzy's Mother after all, Marie thought, and Lizzy was one of the sweetest people she'd ever met and she spoke highly of Alice Neville! What was more, her Mother would never appoint a person to care for her she didn't think was exemplary.

The carriage came to a halt and, no sooner had she taken a deep breath, the door swung open and she forced herself from her seat. The pageboy holding the door bowed, offering a hand to help her down and she took it, staring around at her new home. It was certainly as beautiful as she remembered.

The courtyard was lined with people, tutors, pages in York livery, attendants, cooks, grooms and so forth, all looking at her, watching her every step. She held her head high, imagining her Mother was watching, her Father at her side. She would make them proud.

Standing at the great entrance, at the top of a small set of shallow steps, waited a tall woman in a dark blue gown, wearing a steeple hennin and a million rings on her fingers which were clasped before her. Her smile was wide and warm, making her eyes crinkle at the corners; brown like her daughter's. She realised this was Lady Alice Neville and immediately felt herself relax a little.

"Your grace!" Lady Alice greeted merrily, curtsying deep which prompted the rest of the household to do the same "Welcome to Berkeley Castle! I am Lady Alice Fitzhugh and shall be your governess, appointed by your most gracious Lady Mother, the Queen"
"Thank you, Lady Fitzhugh" Marie returned, making sure her voice was clear, confident, every note the York Princess "I am sure my residency here shall be most enjoyable!"

Lady Alice smiled again and she stepped aside, allowing Marie to enter the Castle before following, one step behind her.
"You may call me Lady Alice, if it pleases you, Princess" She said and Marie halted her steps, motioning for her governess to join her before walking again. Alice, she liked that, it made her feel at home.
"So be it, Lady Alice!" She replied brightly.
The woman chuckled and Marie smiled, she was enjoying her time at Berkeley already!
"Am I to meet my Ladies?" She asked "My companions?"

"You are!" Alice confirmed merrily "All lovely girls eager to serve you!" Marie pushed her shoulders back, feeling quite grown up, she'd never had ladies maids before! Now she would be like her Mother! She and Lady Alice made their way through the castle, thankful for her stay there a few years prior and the familiarity it brought.

It was almost as grand as Westminster palace, she noted happily.

At last, they reached a chamber at the top of the stairs and Alice opened the door, allowing her to step into a large reception chamber with a roaring fire, chairs by it, a desk and beautiful windows with comfortable cushions on the window seat. There was a door at the back of the room she assumed would lead to her bedchamber but, before she could explore, her attention was taken by five girls standing uniformly by the desk, hands clasped.

By their fine garb and graceful poise, they certainly possessed noble blood and Marie smiled as she approached them, Lady Alice close behind. The girls curtsied, their myriad of skirts pooling on the wooden floor before they rose.

"These are your ladies in waiting" Alice declared, stepping in front of them "They are here to serve you, to be your companions and one day find fine matches at court; all handpicked by the King and Queen. Let me aquatint you with them" She moved to the first girl, one of rather a short stature with eyes exactly the same as Lady Alice's and bearing a striking resemblance to Lady Lizzy, particularly when she smiled, stepping forward and curtsying again.

"This is my daughter, Lady Margery Fitzhugh" That certainly made sense, Marie thought, nodding to her as she stepped back and Alice moved onto the next girl who stepped forth, raven hair shining beneath the veil of her hennin and blue eyes piercing "This is Mistress Joan Neville, daughter of George Neville, Baron Latimer, my dear nephew"

"Your grace" Joan greeted as she curtsied, a merriness to her voice and mischievous glint to her eye Marie was excited by. Alice moved on and the third girl stepped forward, a small, slender girl with large, timid blue eyes peeking up at the Princess as she curtsied, her honey-coloured hair caught in a caul.

"This is Mistress Anne Wyndham, the daughter of Sir John Wyndham and granddaughter of John Howard, Baron Howard, one of your Uncle's, the Duke of Gloucester, greatest friends!" Marie felt pleased at that and sent the nervous Anne a warm smile as she stepped back, hoping to settle her clear nerves.

The fourth girl stepped forward, seemingly the opposite to her predecessor being tall with a confident air as she curtsied, smiling brightly at the Princess. Her eyes were deep green, rather like the Queen's and her hair a striking red, flowing down from the back of her hennin. She was older than Marie, maybe by a year.

"Your grace!"
"This is Cecily Bonville, my dear niece and daughter of Lady Katherine Hastings, my sister and one of your Mother's Ladies in waiting"
"Lady Kate's daughter?" Marie exclaimed, suddenly noticing the resemblance daughter bore for Mother - though her hair was utterly her Father's. Cecily nodded happily.

"I am, Princess, and she speaks very highly of your Lady Mother, the Queen, and of you!"
Marie grinned as Cecily dipped down into another curtsy, if she was anything like her quick-witted Mother (as she seemed to be) then she would certainly have fun! Alice chuckled to herself, smiling affectionately at her niece as she passed before reaching the final girl.

Marie found her face falling in complete surprise, blinking as she tried to tell if her eyes deceived her or not. The girl stepped forward; curtsied.

"And this, Princess, is the Lady Grace Plantagenet, daughter of...."

"My Father, yes I know" She found herself interrupting, remembering a night long ago when she'd asked her Mother if there were any more like Arthur, any more bastards. The Queen had sat her on her lap and said she was sure there were more but she only knew the name of one, a little girl called Grace fathered when the King was fighting the Lancastrians in the early 1460s and that she was not one of the Woodville brood.

Studying the girl before her, she could recognise her Father's features, his fair hair and light blue eyes only they glinted with nerves as his never did. Surprisingly, the similarities did not annoy her as they used to when she saw her half brothers. Slowly, she approached her.

"You are not a Woodville?" The girl shook her head.
"No, your grace"
"Who is your Mother?"
"Dame Elizabeth Wayte, Princess" She answered "and she does highly respect and love well your own Lady Mother, the Queen, as we all do. She is a great and kind consort"

Marie felt a small smile curve her lips as it always did when someone spoke well of her Mother and she felt herself warming to Lady Grace, sensing a bond between them. While she did not care for her half brother Anthony and certainly disliked Arthur, Grace seemed a world apart from them, a friend instead of an enemy, someone truly of the same blood as she, as her beloved Father. Stepping forward again, the reached out and placed a hand on her arm, giving a gentle squeeze.

"I've often wondered what it would be like to have an older sister" She whispered.

༻᯽༺

April 1477, Westminster Palace, London....

In the dark expanse of her Mother's room, Constance helped Agnes to sit up, to sip small amounts of broth she held to her lips. She'd ordered it made herself, remembering it was what the cooks at Chateaux de Moulins made the children when they were ill. Her Mother managed a little before resting her shaking body back into the soft pillows again.

"You are good Constance...." She sighed as her daughter placed the small bowl on her bedside table "And I have not treated you with a love a Mother should treat her children...." Constance's fingers tended on the pot for a moment as she tried to comprehend what her Mother had just uttered. Was it true or was her mind simply playing tricks on her, a hallucination borne from a girlhood longing. She shook her head.

"Mother...."
"I loved your Father" Agnes croaked, though her voice was determined "I loved Charles with all of my heart, you know that...." Constance gulped, finally letting her fingers slip from the bowl. She sat up straight, peering hesitantly down at her Mother's alabaster form almost drowning in the bedcovers.

"Then why...." She paused. Her Mother had been the one to step into the topic but should she really ask what she wanted to or would it only cause grief to a dying woman? She bit the inside of her cheek. This would be the only chance she could ask "....why did you not love his children?" It came out in a whisper and she wasn't sure her Mother had heard until one skeletal hand crept from its linen and fur cave, reaching out to her daughter who took it.

"I have asked God that question many times. Whenever I delivered a babe, afterwards I would fall into a dark realm. I would cry without reason, I would sit alone for days on end, I rarely slept, I did not want to see your Father let alone the new baby. Every time I heard the baby cry I felt I would lose my mind, I just wanted it to stop!" In the dim light, Constance saw her Mother's eyes glisten with tears and it wasn't long until her vision was blurred too "I never knew why. I was just so for a year after James was born, the longest I've ever been trapped in darkness, it would mostly be three months or so and always when I emerged, my heart felt no desire to forge a bond with the child presented to me. I would look upon them and feel nothing, as if they were not mine"  Two heavy tears rolled down Constance's cheeks at the same time her Mother let out a strangled sob, her face even more haunting as it twisted with grief.

"I tried....for many years I tried to remedy that" She whispered desperately, squeezing her daughter's hand, begging her to understand "but after I had borne seven babes for your Father, I couldn't find it in myself to try anymore. My heart simply would not feel love for the little people my body created. I went on to have four more children, lamenting every pregnancy because of the months of hell I knew the aftermath would bring, and it never became easier, if anything it became more difficult as you all grew. You were all strangers to me, eleven unknown people growing in my home and I knew, as your Mother, I should not feel so. The guilt that plagued me because of it almost drove my mind back to the darkness I suffered in childbed and so I simply stayed away, it was better like that"

By the time she came to a close, both Mother and daughter were a mess of tears, Constance clutching her Mother's hand, bending to press kisses to it, sobbing harder at how cold her fingers were. She'd never understood, she'd never known....she wasn't quite sure she understood fully now but it was a reason, it wasn't that her Mother simply didn't want to love her, it was that she couldn't and Constance wept for her; for the pain God had dealt her in denying her love for her own babes.

"Was it?" She asked "Was it better?"
"It was.....but I wish it needn't have been" Agnes broke into fresh tears and squeezed Constance's hand "I will never know why God denied me love for my children and I'm sorry I do not love you as I should, you deserved the same love your Father carried in his heart from both of your parents. Alas, it was not to be....I may not love you as a Mother should but....I am proud of you, Constance, know that, I am proud of you and I hope one day you can forgive me"

The words of approval made Constance sob even harder and, before she fully knew what she was doing, like a child she climbed onto the bed covers, sitting beside her Mother and pulling her into her arms when she shakily reached out. She'd never truly hugged her before, not once, and never had her Mother returned the embrace as enthusiastically as she did then, even with the little strength a dying woman possessed.

"I will try, I promise"
"Thank you, my daughter...." After a minute or two, the tears of both women subsided and Agnes peered up at her daughter "Tell me, do you love your children?"

Constance nodded, her heart swelling at the mere mention of them.
"With all of my heart"
A tired smile appeared on her Mother's chapped lips, one of relief, of peace almost.

"I am glad and pray they all love and respect you in return....perhaps, if God grants me a place in heaven, I will be able to care for the children he forced you to lose, mayhap he will mend my broken heart?"

༻᯽༺

When Constance told James what had happened that evening, what their Mother had said, he broke down in tears in her arms like a boy.

Three days later a handmaid rushed to find them, telling them their Mother was receiving the last rights and they all but ran to her chamber as they never thought they would.

Agnes of Bourbon died but half an hour later, one child kneeling either side of her, clasping her hands, whispering prayers for her salvation. Finally, they were all at peace.