INSTAGRAM DM'S !

NEW MESSAGE FROM
XOLOMARIDUEÑA

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
be honest
how many unread emails are in your inbox right now?

XOLOMARIDUEÑA

oh my god you saw this and ignored me

that's so embarrassing for me 

SIENNAHART
bold of you to assume i open my emails at all...

 XOLOMARIDUEÑA
that's either very relatable or very concerning. no in between

SIENNAHART
oh, its definitely concerning.
but if i ignore them,
they don't exist. 

 XOLOMARIDUEÑA
solid logic. i respect it. 

SIENNAHART
thank you. i call it the "out of sight, out of responsibility" method

 XOLOMARIDUEÑA
very scientific. should be studied. 

SIENNAHART
it's a revolutionary approach to life. truly ahead of its time

 XOLOMARIDUEÑA
i feel honored to be learning from a master procrastinator 

SIENNAHART
as you should. my talents are unmatched

 XOLOMARIDUEÑA
so what else do you avoid besides emails?

SIENNAHART
where do i even start... 

SIENNAHART
texts, phone calls, responsibilities, anything that requires me to be a functional adult

 XOLOMARIDUEÑA
damn.
ur out here dodging life like it's a full time job 

SIENNAHART
exactly.
and yet, somehow, i'm still exhausted. make it make sense. 

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
wish i could. i also wish i had your level of commitment to avoiding things

SIENNAHART
avoidance is an art form.
takes years to master

 XOLOMARIDUEÑA
well at least u answered my dm
or am i talking to the
void right now? 

SIENNAHART
idk depends. is this DM worth answering? 

 XOLOMARIDUEÑA
wow. the pressure. 

SIENNAHART
u should be nervous

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
okay okay.
let me think.
whats the criteria for a DM being "worth answering"?

SIENNAHART
hmmm
excellent question.
could be wit, could be charm, could be bribery...

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
bribery?
noted.
whats the going rate for a
guaranteed response?

SIENNAHART
depends on my mood.
could be a snack, could be a puppy, could be front-row tickets to a concert

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
so, ur saying if i sent you a puppy, you'd actually open your dm's?

SIENNAHART
id consider it.
no promises.

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
i feel like this is a scam

SIENNAHART
no.. no.
its an investment in ur
peace of mind

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
thats what all scammers say.

SIENNAHART
and yet, ur still here, DMing me

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
what can i say?
i enjoy the challenge

SIENNAHART
dangerous game ur playing, Maridueña

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
i live for the risk

SIENNAHART
bold words for someone who still hasn't secured my response rate

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
give me time.
i'll crack the code.

SIENNAHART
good luck. ur gonna need it

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
oh, I don't need luck.
ive got persistence and
an alarming amount of
free time

SIENNAHART
impressive.
borderline concerning, but impressive

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
i'll take it as a compliment

SIENNAHART
u should.
not everyone gets my stamp of approval.

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
so does this mean im special?

SIENNAHART
lets not get ahead of ourselves

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
ouch that one stung a little

SIENNAHART
u will survive. probably.

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
damn, u really know how to keep a man humble

SIENNAHART
its a gift

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
and a curse

SIENNAHART
for u? maybe.
for me? pure entertainment

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
i see how it is

SIENNAHART
good... wouldn't want u getting confused

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
oh trust me, im very clear on what's happening here

SIENNAHART
are u, tho?

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
mhhhMhm
u act all indifferent,
but ik ur having fun.

SIENNAHART
... i plead the fifth.

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
thats what I thought.

SIENNAHARY
anywayyy, i gotta go.
i have a project to finish

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
YOU?
completing a responsibility? this is groundbreaking.

SIENNAHART
dont sound so surprised.

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
im kinda proud

SIENNAHART
dont make it weird

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
too late. im already planning
ur Responsible Person Award
might even throw in a trophy

SIENNAHART
wow such an honour
do i get a speech?

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
only if u thank me first

SIENNAHART
tempting
but i think i'll pass

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
figures
well go be resonsible
i'll try not to distract u too much

SIENNAHART
appreciate it
nigh xolo

XOLOMARIDUEÑA
night sienna
dont forget to accept ur reward

NOTE !
ugh i already love them so much
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