Status: Edited

// Johnny's Point Of View //

I looked over at Ponyboy as he talked to a kid by his locker quietly, it was the end of the day anyway. My head was spinning with thoughts and my body shook with fear, I couldn't control it. I was scared but I had to say something to him, I had to get it out. I'm one of those people who can't keep feelings bottled up for long, that's why I sing and take pictures. The person who was talking with Ponyboy walked off leaving me able to talk to him but I just couldn't, I was so scared for what he'd think of me.

You can do this just stop being such a baby, you can do this! It's just a few simple words that you have to say, nothing more. If he hates you then we'll it's a friend lost, the only friend that you have left. . . Just walk up to him and say it before it's too late, before you no longer have the courage to say anything! Just do it, what's the worst that could happen?!

That's what scares​ me, I didn't exactly know what was going to happen after I told him. Was he going to hit me, yell at me, spit on me, it's normal anyway. . . But I'm still worried, I don't want to lose the only friend that I have left, I can the through that again. Just take a deep breath and get it over it, it can't be so bad right? But, expect the worse, expect to be hit or yelled at. . .

I took a deep breath and walked over to Ponyboy nervously, holding the strings of my bag tightly. My hands were shaky and I felt like I was going to pass out. Slowly, I reached out a hand and tapped his shoulder hesitantly. He turned around to look at me, giving a smile that made my knees buckle. He noticed the nervous expression on my face and he frowned instantly, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Johnnycake wants wrong," he asks using this nickname he have me a few weeks ago.

"N-nothings wrong. . . I-i-i just wanted to t-tell you something," I reply nervously with my stupid stuttering.

"What is it," he asks worriedly.

"I-i-its just that i-i. . . I-i," I couldn't finish my sentence, I was shaking so much.

"Hey it's okay Johnnycake, you can tell me at my house," he said pulling my into a tight​ hug.

If he takes me to his house and I tell him, he's going to throw me out and he's going to hate me! Great job, you were so stupid and you were a crybaby so now you have to tell him in his home. . . With his big brothers who will kill you for being a fag! I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm too young to die! I really screwed up this time and I don't think I can fix it. . .

Ponyboy let go of me and grabbed my hand, pulling me along so we could head to his house. I admit that his hand felt nice holding mine, it was in a way comforting. We walked along the sidewalk​ slowly, my nerves couldn't take it, my emotions couldn't take it. I put my head down and started to tear up, trying not to let one slip. He didn't​ need to see me cry, he'd see how much of a baby I really was. . .

He kept holding my hand the entire way to his house, never loosening his grip once. I let a few tears slip on the way there but he never seemed to notice my quiet sniffles. It was hard to walk straight, the tears blurred my vision so bad, but I couldn't wipe them away, he couldn't know I was crying. We walked up his porch, him opening the door for me, letting go of my hand. I walked in and he followed, closing the door behind him.

"I'm home," Ponyboy yelled.

"Any homework," Darry asks from the kitchen, I knew it was him, he was the only one who ever asked if he had homework.

"Not today Darry," Ponyboy said back, taking off his shoes.

While Ponyboy wasn't looking, I wiped the tears from my eyes and took off my shoes as well, placing him by the door. He grabbed my hand again, pulling me off into his bedroom setting me onto the bed. He walked over to the door and closed it before coming in to sit next to me, looking at me intently. I looked down as my hands shook as I clasped them in my lap to try to stop them from shaking so badly. I didn't say anything and neither did he, it was silent and I kind of hoped that it would stay that way.

"Johnny, would you mind telling me what you have to tell me now," he asks breaking g the silence I didn't want him to.

"D-do you promise not to be mad at me," I ask quietly, looking up to meet his gaze.

"Why would I be mad at you? How could I be mad at you," he asks softly.

"I-i-i don't know. . . I just think you'd be mad at me," I said, my breath shaking.

"Well I won't be mad at you. I promise," he said resting a hand on my shoulder.

"O-okay. . . W-well, I wanted to tell you that i-i-i liked someone" I said knowing I just screwed up the plan I had.

"You were that nervous to tell me that you liked someone," he said quietly, a sad look in his eyes.

"T-that's not the part I was nervous about," I said giving him a small smile.

"Well then, what's the scary part," he asks curiously.

"I'm going to tell you who I like. . .," I said fighting a blush on my face.

"Who is it," he asks pouting, he looked like a child.

"I-i. . . I like. . . Y-you. . ."

// Authors Note //

Omg my Johnny baby finally said it rjdnsjdjsm! I'm so excited! I hope you all enjoyed this! I'll see you all soon.

Till then,

~ Stay Gold