"........,"

ִ ࣪𖤐 CONDUCT YOURSELF PROPERLY...

Or the Doctor may just have to take more... direct action.

And by that, I mean, don't forget to vote, comment, and leave your "delightful" thoughts.

It's not just for my ego, you know - it's for science.

Yes, science.

Totally.

. . . . . ╰──╮꒰ 🧪 ꒱ ╭──╯ . . . . .

ESTRELLA sashayed down the Asylum's twisting halls, her blonde and black hair catching the dull fluorescent lighting in a way that made her look like she was strutting down a runway rather than heading toward madness.

With every step, her white doctor's coat flowed behind her dramatically.

Her glasses caught a gleam as she spotted a familiar figure ahead, waving with one hand while the other casually adjusted the black tie around her neck.

"Yo, Coffee Machine!" She called out, her voice bright, her smile playful but also... somehow hotter than the sun.

Everything about her screamed perfection - flawless cheekbones, a laid-back yet utterly cool demeanor, and an effortless wit that made her a favorite around here.

The Segment she called out to, the one currently in charge of serving coffee - nervous, tall, and radiating "I-have-no-idea-what-I'm-doing"
energy - perked up at her voice.

Relief washed over his face like someone who just got rescued from a life-threatening situation by a superhero.

He practically lit up like a Christmas tree at the sight of her.

"S-Stella," He muttered, trying to hide his enormous frame behind her as if he wasn't towering over everyone in the room.

Like a child hiding from the monster under their bed.

His tallness wasn't doing him any favors, though, as he shuffled nervously, attempting to shrink down, which was as effective as trying to fold a giraffe into a suitcase.

Now, keep in mind, this Segment wasn't just any ordinary guy.

Tall as a lamppost, but currently trying to fold himself into the tiniest shape possible, he peeked over Estrella's shoulder with the world's most nervous smile.

Kuya, of course, was the reason.

Casually standing there, was he, with his long purple hair in a braid that swung lazily with each movement, and his sharp yellow and black eyes fixed on the Segment with the focus of a cat staring at an easily frightened mouse.

"Oh, don't mind him," Estrella said with a laugh, giving her bestie a soothing pat on his head, as if to say, There, there, poor tall coffee machine baby. "He's just a little energetic today."

The Segment sighed contentedly under her touch, though he didn't stop hiding behind her.

"He... He's looking at me," He whispered, clearly referring to Kuya, who didn't even bother to hide the fact that he was enjoying every second of this.

Estrella, without missing a beat, reached up yet again and patted his head, which was probably more of a workout than she'd admit, considering how high she had to reach.

"Don't worry, buddy, I gotcha," She said, exuding calm and control, even as her hand lightly smushed his hair down.

He seemed to melt under the comfort, all warm smiles and relieved sighs.

Yeah, they were best friends, and everyone in the Asylum knew it.

However, still across from them stood Kuya, a sight to behold himself.

His fox ears twitched, probably already plotting something chaotic, and his tail swished lazily behind him.

"You know this isn't the Doctor, right?" Estrella smirked, her tone that of someone who just caught a kid with their hand in the cookie jar.

Kuya flicked an ear, eyes full of mischief.

"Of course I know, but come on, this one gives the most adorable reactions." He leaned forward slightly, wagging his eyebrows at the trembling Segment still hiding behind Estrella, as if to punctuate his point.

The Segment whimpered, clearly not in on the joke.

Estrella just shook her head, still patting the Segment on the head like a puppy.

She even ruffled his hair again for good measure, because, why not? He clearly needed it.

"Alright, alright," She said, finally looking back at Kuya, her tone light but with that classic Stella charm. "The Doctor's in the East Wing - probably tormenting some poor soul with his endless ramblings about advanced chemistry or something equally as exciting."

She rolled her eyes playfully.

Kuya's grin widened, showing a hint of fang, his eyes practically glowing with gratitude.

"Oh, Stella, you're a saint!" His tail swished, clearly delighted at the prospect of whatever chaos awaited him next. "I owe you one."

"Please," Estrella said, flipping her hair over her shoulder with a casual air, "you owe me like five by now."

"Thanks, Stella," He replied, with a wink that had way too much intent behind it.

"Don't mention it," Estrella replied coolly, already knowing he was up to no good but, honestly? Not her problem.

However, as Kuya sauntered past the Segment, he leaned in with a smirk that could only be described as dangerously charming.

"You know, Kappa," He drawled, his voice smooth as velvet, "with that nervous look and all, you make hiding behind someone look incredibly... cute."

He tilted his head, his fox ears twitching. "Maybe you should consider a career in being adorable. It seems you're already quite skilled at it."

With a wink and a playful flick of his tail, he added, "Or, if you're feeling brave, you could always hide behind me sometime. I promise I won't bite... much."

Estrella, unable to contain her amusement, gave Kuya a resounding slap on the back that echoed like a drum.

"Alright, Casanova," She teased, "quit making the poor baby blush and get moving before you break his poor, quivering heart!"

She gave him a playful shove, sending him stumbling forward with an exaggerated wobble. "And don't think you're off the hook! You still owe me a coffee!"

Kuya stumbled a few steps, his usual cool demeanor replaced with a comically flustered expression.

"I-I'll make sure to get you the best coffee," He stammered, straightening up and giving Estrella a mock-serious salute. "As long as it doesn't involve getting hit on the head!"

As he walked off, Estrella turned back to the trembling Segment behind her. "See? Nothing to be scared of."

Kappa nodded slowly, though he still kept one eye on Kuya as the fox-eared menace disappeared down the hall.

"Adorable reactions, huh?" He mumbled to himself, clearly still processing the chaos that was Kuya's entire existence.

Estrella smirked. "Well, at least someone finds you cute, Malak."

"........,"

The Doctor (or so it seemed) was striding down the halls of the Asylum like a supermodel strutting on the catwalk, each step purposeful and smooth, the glossy floors practically melting under his boots.

He walked like he owned the place - because, in his head, he practically did.

His coat billowed out behind him, the perfect accessory to his every move.

He ran a hand through his hair, all while giving himself a sideways glance in the reflection of a nearby glass panel.

"God, I'm hot," He muttered under his breath, the words oozing narcissism as he continued his overly sexy march.

His face? Calm, collected, but with just the right hint of "I'm-better-than-you-and-we-both-know-it."

Suddenly, he rounded a corner and spotted a peculiar segment.

Ah, Zeta - dear, insane, permanently-bent-out-of-shape Zeta.

A.k.a. Alain, a.k.a. Webttore - the noseless cow himself.

There he stood, cackling to himself, hands twitching, face hidden behind that noseless mask that made him look like some bizarre Halloween special.

Well, technically, he had a nose, but that weird mask made him look like someone had swiped it right off his face.

The Doctor smirked, clearly amused by the sheer chaos radiating off Zeta in waves. "Ah, there you are, you noseless cow."

His tone of voice was dripping with both insult and amusement.

Zeta's head snapped up so fast it could've made a crack sound.

"Noseless... cow? Where'd you even pick that up? That Pantalone bitch, no doubt!"

He spat Akira's nickname out like it was poison - like it physically burned his tongue - and followed up with a bunch of incoherent mumbling that probably included several curses aimed at the Regrator cat-man.

"That gay's always slinking around, making up ridiculous insults-"

He grumbled under his breath, clearly ready to start an internal rant about how much he hated him, but The Doctor (or was it?) cut him off, voice as smooth as velvet.

"You," He said, gesturing lazily with one hand, "are being a colossal pain. First, you smack a newly acquired patient silly, then you jab them in the throat with a potion that you know was wrong - wrong potion, wrong place, and possibly a wrong non-potential patient, too! And don't even get me started on the fact they might wake up without the ability to speak. What's next, huh? Oh, right - you're also the one who dipped Billy in soap, aren't you?"

At the mention of Billy, Zeta's eyes darted sideways, and he fidgeted like a kid caught stealing candy.

Yeah, that's right, he'd done that, too.

Then, as if Zeta was bored by all this rational nonsense, he turned his eyes back to The Doctor, glaring hard.

"You're not him, are you? The real one's locked up in the lab. Last I checked." His hands trembled, twitching as his blood boiled, and his voice dripped with barely-contained rage.

His eyes then narrowed, and he pointed a trembling finger. "WHO ARE YOU?!"

The Doctor (wink, wink) leaned in,(non-existent) eyes glowing with narcissism, lips curling into a wicked smile that could melt a thousand hearts - or shatter a thousand mirrors.

╭──────────.★..─╮

╰─..★.──────────╯

"I am you." He ran a gloved hand through his hair, sighing dramatically as he flicked a blue strand back. "But hot."

That was it.

Zeta's patience snapped like a twig under a heavyweight.

His hands trembled violently as he yanked off his coat, veins bulging, ready to throw hands.

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU-" He shouted, nearly foaming at the mouth.

"Oh, Zeta, darling," The Doctor (you mean Omega, right?) replied nonchalantly, glancing at his nails like he had a manicure appointment in five. "I'm Omega, of course. Honestly, how could you not recognize me?"

His grin only widened as Zeta sputtered incoherently, still vibrating with fury.

Yet he barely waited for Alain's brain to catch up before turning on his heel and snapping his fingers.

"Alright, husks! Tie up Mr. Noseless here and toss him in the isolation chamber. It's time for a little timeout. Chop-chop!"

Several husk-like Segments immediately sprang into action, ropes in hand, moving like mindless zombies as they closed in on Zeta.

The poor guy didn't stand a chance as they tied him up faster than he could squirm, hoisting him off the ground as he kicked and flailed like a fish caught on dry land.

Omega - a.k.a Nero - meanwhile, hummed a little tune as if he wasn't witnessing a complete freak show.

"I noticed the fox has been... more active these past few days," He remarked casually, as though this were small talk over coffee.

Zeta, now being dragged away by the husks, cackled like a maniac.

"Oh, you mean double his usual horny?!" He laughed like he'd just heard the funniest joke in the world. "I injected him with a little... something fun! MWAHAHA! You know, just to see what would happen!!"

He then broke into a full-on villainous laugh, wriggling in the ropes like a gleeful maniac.

Omega sighed, rubbing his temples.

"Of course you did." He glanced at the remaining segments, the ones with at least a hint of intelligence and waved a dismissive hand.

"Go fetch the fox," He ordered, his voice dripping with boredom. "I'll need to personally inspect him. Lab, nearest one."

As he walked off, he licked his lips with a sharp-toothed grin, muttering to himself. "That fox better be worth the trouble,"

"This ought to be... interesting." He purred, already plotting what to do next.

Because in the Asylum, if things weren't chaotic... well, what was the point?

"........,"

Billy stood at the edge of a dusty outback, his shiny (✨) bald head reflecting the blazing Australian sun like a disco ball.

The reflection off his dome alone was so intense, it could've blinded an eagle mid-flight.

The few crocodiles lazing nearby squinted in protest, their beady eyes no match for the sheer glow bouncing off his head.

With every slight movement of his skull, the light shifted, creating a mini solar flare that threatened to melt reality itself.

He stood tall, like a proud general ready to deliver his speech to his makeshift army of hungry crocs.

"RISE, my dear brothers!" Billy proclaimed, throwing his arms up dramatically, making his rainbow-colored eyes sparkle like a fever dream. "For today, we shall rid the world of humanity! Or... y'know... at least give 'em a scare!"

He paced back and forth in front of the completely disinterested reptiles, most of whom were more interested in nibbling his toes than listening to his speech.

But Billy? Oh, he was on a roll.

"I would never ask you to do anything that I wouldn't do myself!" He declared, puffing out his chest.

The crocodiles blinked, one of them snapping lazily at Billy's foot, which he dodged with a graceful twirl that would make any ballerina weep.

Dust swirled around him in slow motion as the wind suddenly picked up, making his (non-existent) hair dance majestically... if it existed, that is.

A tumbleweed rolled by, adding to the absolute absurdity of the scene.

The sound of a helicopter sliced through the air, its blades whirring like the universe's most aggressive fan.

Billy looked up just in time to see it descending from the heavens, as though sent by the gods themselves (or more accurately, some very tired Doctor).

The side door slid open, revealing none other than Beta - Iblis, the quietest, most mellow of all the segments.

His figure was illuminated by the sun, with dramatic lighting that could only be described as a Hollywood-level divine intervention.

He looked like an angel sent to rescue this maniac from his crocodile revolution.

"Billy," Beta called out, extending his hand as the wind from the blades whipped his hair around, a single braid standing out like a symbol of peace amidst the madness. "Come on. We're going home."

His face was serene, and his tone gentle, like a dad trying to coax a child off the roof.

Billy, ever the chaotic entity, stared at Beta's hand for a long moment, considering his options.

The crocs, sensing dinner slipping away, snapped their jaws in frustration.

Billy narrowed his eyes at Beta, then at his hand.

"I don't know, man... Crocs here need me. And I don't trust that shiny flying death machine."

"Pizza rolls for dinner," Beta said softly, not breaking eye contact, as though he knew the exact trigger to win Billy over.

Billy blinked, his mind spiraling at the sheer temptation. "Pizza rolls...?"

"Fresh out of the oven."

The bald menace didn't even hesitate.

With a dramatic leap, he grabbed Beta's hand and hopped into the helicopter like a man on a mission.

Once inside, Beta sat quietly, staring at the floor as the aircraft ascended, his calm exterior betraying nothing of the chaos that had just transpired.

He began to hum a little tune, lost in thought, as though lulling himself into a meditative state, his eyes (beneath the mask) distant as the world zoomed past outside the window.

Billy, meanwhile, sat with his legs crossed like a philosopher ready to drop some wisdom.

"You know," He started, completely out of nowhere, staring into the distance. "Being alone on the toilet is proof that you'll always be alone when shit goes down."

Beta, mid-hum, paused.

His head slowly tilted, his expression unreadable beneath his mask.

But Billy wasn't finished.

"You're never alone, Beta," Billy said, turning his gaze to him with an unnerving intensity. "Never. Even on the toilet, you're never so."

Beta finally lifted his eyes, processing the deeply philosophical nonsense Billy had just spewed.

But something didn't feel right.

Wait.

The segment looked over to where Billy had been sitting - Yet, he was gone.

Beta's eyes darted around the helicopter in confusion, his calm composure finally cracking, heart rate spiking.

The seat next to him - where Billy was moments ago - was now completely empty.

Beta's stomach dropped.

He glanced toward the cockpit.

Oh no.

Oh no no no.

The pilot? Passed out cold, slumped in the passenger seat.

And the one flying the helicopter, wearing the pilot's headset, grinning like a deranged lunatic?

- Billy.

His rainbow eyes gleamed as he gripped the controls like a madman, humming the same tune Beta had been humming moments earlier.

"I'M FLYING THE WHIRLYBIRD, BABY! WE'RE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE!!" Billy cackled, sending the helicopter into a wild spiral. "WE'RE GONNA RIDE THIS BIRD INTO THE SUN!"

Beta, for the first time in what felt like forever, found himself questioning his life choices.

He clutched the sides of his seat, closing his eyes in silent prayer.

If he made it back home in one piece, he swore he'd never leave the kids alone with this maniac again.

Billy made airplane noises with his mouth as the helicopter spun wildly through the sky, soon shouting triumphantly, "Hold onto your pizza rolls, Beta! We're going DOWN!!!"

Iblis bit his lip lightly to ground himself, shaking his head.

❝ I should've stayed with the crocodiles. ❞

. . . . . ╰──╮꒰ 🧪 ꒱ ╭──╯ . . . . .

AUTHOR'S NOTE .ᐟ

Hey, guys!

Soooo, I couldn't make this chapter as funny as I intended, but I hope you still enjoyed it! 🙃

(It was better in my head. 😭)

Anyhow, just a heads up - almost everything on my message board is canon in this book.

Yes, I'm serious.

So far, five of your [OCs] have made appearances, even if some were just passing through.

But bear with me; they'll all have significant roles later on.

Now, about the Segments - why they have more than one name, what they are, why they exist, and how they came to be...

We'll dive into all that in future chapters, so make sure you keep reading!

Also, I was originally aiming for the Chapters to be as short as the prologue...

But clearly, I failed. 😅

So, what do you guys think - do you prefer long or short chapters?

Let me know!

Stay chaotic!