“........,”

ִ ࣪𖤐 CONDUCT YOURSELF PROPERLY...

Or the Doctor may just have to take more… direct action.

And by that, I mean, don’t forget to vote, comment, and leave your "delightful" thoughts.

It's not just for my ego, you know – it's for science.

Yes, science.

Totally.

. . . . . ╰──╮꒰ 🧪 ꒱ ╭──╯ . . . . .

THE DOCTOR moved with a flourish, his coat sweeping the floor as he continued to poke at your unconscious body like a kid prodding a dead fish.

“Oh, dear. They’re still out cold. Not even a twitch? How am I supposed to have any fun like this?”

His voice carried that same eerie excitement, like someone trying to make a game out of something definitely not fun.

Kuya, as expected, slid into the scene like an actor entering stage left.

He leaned against a suspiciously large crate that definitely wasn’t moving by itself, eyeing the Doctor with all the intensity of someone waiting for a rom-com confession scene.

“Doctooorrr~” He crooned, voice smooth like honey. “How about we skip all this... and get straight to me? Don’t you think I deserve a little more of your attention? After all, I have been such a good boy...”

— Freeze frame.

The Doctor just... stopped.

His hands mid-poke.

His eyes – what little of them you could see under his mask – stared off into the distance, as if he was reconsidering every life choice that led him to this moment.

A full two seconds passed before he awkwardly coughed into his hand and kept poking at you like nothing happened.

Kuya’s grin only grew wider.

— Hooked.

From the desk, Akira, still lounging in cat form, gave a lazy yawn.

“He’s getting faster at recovering,” He mused, flicking his tail. “You used to freeze for a full ten seconds, Doctor. What’s the matter? Can’t handle him?”

The Doctor gave a dramatic, almost theatrical sigh and tossed Akira an unamused glance. "I’m very busy, Aki. Very, very busy trying to figure out why this one hasn’t woken up yet. My whole day’s thrown off, thanks to one of my more... overeager segments."

In the background, one of the segments waved cheerfully, stumbling into the room, carrying what looked like... a giant butterfly net?

“WHAT are you doing?” The Doctor asked, raising an eyebrow.

The segment shrugged. “Dunno. Just felt right.”

“...Put it away,” the Doctor sighed. “This is a serious operation. We’re professionals here.”

The segment saluted before tripping over their own feet and somehow getting tangled in the net. “Whoops. Uh. Little help?”

Ignoring the chaos, the Doctor leaned down to you again, brushing the hair from your face. “Soon, soon you’ll be up and at ‘em. And then the real fun begins.”

Kuya, never one to miss an opportunity, sauntered up closer, his lips curling into a suggestive smile.

"Oh, Doctor, you always seem to be so busy. What about a little... break?" He dragged out the last word, biting his lip so hard that he put this pic here to shame. “You’ve been ignoring meee~”

╭──────────.★..─╮

╰─..★.──────────╯

— Freeze frame again.

The Doctor didn’t even blink, didn’t move, didn’t breathe.

His entire body went still like someone pressed ‘pause’ on a video player.

Only his covered eyes twitched slightly, the tiniest fraction of a twitch, as if mentally calculating his escape route.

After an awkward beat, the Doctor exhaled sharply and continued as though nothing happened. “Ah, but let’s not dwell on that, shall we?” His voice was a tad higher-pitched than usual. “We’ve got... work to do!”

Akira purred loudly from his perch. "Oh, come on, Doctor. We all know Kuya makes you nervous. You practically shut down every time he opens his mouth."

The Doctor shot Akira an icy side-eye – impressive considering half his face was covered by his mask.

“I don’t shut down,” He muttered. “I’m simply... collecting myself.”

Kuya, undeterred, draped himself over the back of a chair, his voice taking on a sing-song tone. "You know, Doctor, I could help you collect yourself... if you ask nicely."

— Pause.

The Doctor froze again.

This time, it was more subtle, like he was internally screaming but externally trying very hard to keep his cool.

There was just a long, awkward silence in which even the segments – previously giggling at the chaos – went quiet, exchanging looks.

Akira’s whiskers twitched, his eyes glittering with a smirk. “You really can’t handle him, can you? Maybe I should step in and put you out of your misery, Doctor. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

The Doctor finally un-paused, snapping back to life like someone hit the play button.

“I am NOT embarrassed,” He declared, pointing dramatically at the still unconscious you. “I am... focused!And besides...” He glanced awkwardly at Kuya. “I’m too professional to be distracted.”

Kuya winked. “Mhm. Sure, Doctor. Professional. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

At this, Eschiable clapped slowly from his lounging position, upside down in his chair like some kind of human bat, not even looking up from his nails. “Oh, this is better than the new hire getting vaporized. Way more entertaining. Do we take bets on when the Doctor finally cracks?”

The Doctor ignored that comment  – though his upper lip twitched – and turned his full attention back to you, dramatically throwing his hands up. “Come on, everyone, show some enthusiasm! We have a new plaything—I mean, patient! This is a cause for celebration!”

“WOHO! YAY!”

The segments cheered half-heartedly, clearly more invested in watching the Doctor squirm than the actual situation at hand.

Kuya leaned in closer, just within the Doctor’s peripheral vision. “Don’t worry, Doctor... I’ll personally make sure you’re taken care of later. Help you... unwind.”

— Complete system shutdown.

The Doctor just... stood there, rigid as a board.

He didn’t blink.

He didn’t breathe.

He didn’t even twitch.

It was like watching a computer glitch out after being overloaded with too much information.

Akira, witnessing the whole thing, let out a long, suffering sigh, though there was a noticeable curl to his lips.

“Honestly, Doctor, for a mad genius, you’re really terrible at handling this kind of pressure.”

And yet, despite everything, Kuya’s grin only widened. “Pressure? Oh, Doctor, you love it.”

The Doctor snapped back to life, this time with a dramatic flourish, as if nothing had happened. “Aha! Yes! Well, as I was saying, let’s move on! Quickly! We have a new Patient to tend to!”

But everyone knew.

Oh, they knew.

Kuya pouted, but there was a playful glint in his eye as he twirled a strand of his purple hair. “Tsk, they don’t even know how lucky they are.”

“Lucky?” Akira grumbled from the desk, licking a paw in a very unenthusiastic manner. “This is their worst nightmare. They probably regret ever existing right about now.”

“You say that,” The Doctor cooed, leaning closer to Akira, “but I know deep down, you’re jealous. I’ll ruffle your fur anytime, darling.”

Akira’s ears twitched, and he quickly turned away, pretending to be deeply interested in the papers scattered on the desk. “In your dreams, Doctor.”

Kuya, not missing a beat, winked. “Dreams, huh? Sounds like you’ve thought about this before, kitty.”

Akira let out the biggest sigh, somehow managing to make it sound both exasperated and... mildly pleased.

Maybe.

The Doctor then moved with purpose, though after Kuya’s barrage of flirtation and suggestive hints, his stride was a little stiff, his hands twitching with the residual awkwardness.

"I think," He said through gritted teeth, "I’ll just go busy myself with the rest of the patients."

He muttered something, too, about "focusing on the job" as he reached down to pick up a clipboard from the side table.

Anything to keep his mind occupied.

Anything to avoid another Kuya comment.

Kuya, leaning against the crate, shot a glance at Akira, who was still lounging lazily.

“He’s really trying hard, huh?” Kuya purred.

Akira flicked his tail, smirking. “Oh, very hard. But we all know how that’s going to go.” He licked his paw, sounding almost bored as he kept on with his grooming.

Just as the Doctor was about to step forward, something slippery squished under his boot, causing his foot to slide out from under him as if he'd stepped on a banana peel.

His body stiffened.

Slowly, with the exaggerated precision of someone who already knew the worst was upon them, the Doctor glanced down at his feet.

There, sprawled dramatically across the floor like a pile of laundry someone forgot to pick up, was Billy.

Soap suds covered his body from bald head to toe, and the way his rainbow-colored eyes shimmered with chaos and glee could only be described as on crack.

His skin shimmered and shifted colors, from pink to black to cosmic swirls of "what even is that" with every second that passed.

Billy lifted his head and let out the loudest, most unhinged moan the Doctor had ever heard in his life.

It echoed through the room like a scream into the void.

“Ohhh... Doctor,” Billy groaned, the sound bouncing off the walls with inappropriate volume. “You’ve stepped right into my... slippery trap...! Now we’re connected... forever... I’ve been waiting for you to step on me. Tell me, was it everything you imagined?”

The Doctor immediately short-circuited.

He stared down at Billy, done with everything.

Absolutely done.

If he could scream without breaking his perfect, aloof persona, he would. Instead, he sighed so deeply it could have collapsed a star.

"Clean-up crew! Come pick... this up." He muttered under his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Like clockwork, a group of neatly dressed assistants stormed into the room like they were military personnel on a covert mission.

Their movements were perfectly synchronized, snapping into a formation that would make any drill sergeant weep with pride.

“Hip! Hop! Hip! Hop!” They chanted as they marched toward Billy, jogging in perfect rhythm, knees high, arms swinging.

They reached down, attempting to lift Billy off the soap-slick floor.

But it was Billy.

Covered in soap.

This was a bad idea.

As they tried to haul Billy up, his slippery form slid out of their hands like a greased-up eel.

The crew tumbled backward, arms flailing as they fell in slow motion, one after another, in a domino effect.

— THUD, THUD, THUD .ᐟ

One segment desperately grabbed onto the other’s leg, only to get pulled down into the soapy abyss.

They skidded across the room like pinballs, bouncing off furniture, the walls, and eventually into each other, arms flailing.

"WHOOP! WHOA!"

One of them flew past the Doctor, who sighed deeply and watched them skid out of sight.

“I cannot... believe this...” He muttered, pulling at his coat and sidestepping Billy, who was still dramatically writhing on the floor.

Billy, now sliding across the floor like some sort of demented seal, flailed in his usual crack-fueled frenzy, sending suds flying in every direction.

The Doctor stood there, one eye twitching as his brain tried to process what just happened.

He looked down at Billy, at the soap, then back at Billy, then at the heavens as if asking why, just why.

“I AM A SOAPY GOD!” Billy bellowed as he slid under a table, his body spinning like a top. “YOU CAN’T CATCH ME, FOOLS! I’LL SLIP RIGHT THROUGH YOUR FINGERS, LIKE THE ETERNAL ELDRITCH BEING I AM!”

One of the assistants tried to grab him again, but their hands met the soapy floor instead, causing them to crash to the ground.

The sound of bodies hitting the floor could only be described as comedic gold.

Akira watched from his perch, his white-and-black heterochromia eyes narrowing with a long-suffering sigh.

“I swear, if I had known there’d be this much chaos, I wouldn’t have funded this place,” He murmured, face-pawing, though the amusement in his voice was undeniable.

Kuya burst into laughter, practically wheezing as he watched the crew skidding across the floor in a desperate attempt to subdue Billy. "Oh, Doctor, this is priceless! You’re running a circus in here!”

The Doctor stood completely still, hands raised slightly as if debating whether or not to throw himself out of the nearest window.

Billy’s voice echoed from under a chair. “SOAP SLIDES FOR LIFE!” followed by another loud, dramatic moan, “Ohh, yes, let me slip into your dreams... or your nightmares... whatever fits best...”

One of the crew members, who had given up entirely, lay sprawled on the floor, eyes blank, muttering to themselves, "This is not what I signed up for..."

Finally, the Doctor clapped his hands, his voice completely devoid of emotion.

“All right, everyone, back to your posts. I’ll deal with Billy later... preferably with industrial-grade soap-resistant restraints.”

As the team continued their attempt at containing Billy, the Doctor strode past them with a sigh that screamed, "This is my life now."

Kuya, still cackling, waved after him. "Oh, come on, Doctor, don't leave me alone with all the slippery fun!"

The Doctor paused.

His whole body tensed up.

And then, without another word, he resumed walking... quickly.

Very quickly.

“I see you running, Doctor!” Billy's voice echoed from behind. “You can't escape the soap of destiny! Next time, though, how about we make it mud? More traction, y'know."

The Doctor's left eye twitched dangerously.

“No more suggestions from you,” He hissed through clenched teeth as he made his way out of the room, praying the next patient would offer some semblance of normalcy.

Spoiler: They wouldn’t.

“........,”

The Doctor finally turned the corner and found Estrella leaning against the wall, her arms crossed, watching the chaos from afar.

She had a calm, almost amused expression on her face.

Estrella was dressed in her usual white doctor’s coat, her dark brown eyes peeking over the rim of her glasses.

Blonde and black hair framed her face, with a faint butterfly rash on her cheeks.

A small scar on her left cheek added just enough of a 'badass doctor' vibe to make her seem both comforting and dangerous at the same time.

“Ah, Doctor,” She greeted with a smirk, “I see the chaos is still alive and well around here.”

The Doctor groaned, rubbing his temples. “If by 'alive and well,' you mean completely out of control, then yes, thriving.”

Estrella let out a light laugh, pushing her glasses up her nose. “Sounds about right. How’s Billy?”

The Doctor’s expression darkened. “Covered in soap. And moaning. Loudly.”

“Oh dear, soap again?” Estrella chuckled, shaking her head. “He really has a thing for slippery substances (🤨📸), doesn’t he?”

The Doctor shot her an exhausted glare. “I don’t need a diagnosis, Stella. I need a break.”

Estrella hummed thoughtfully, tapping her chin. “You know, I heard the lounge has coffee.”

The Doctor perked up slightly, hope flickering in his eyes. “Coffee, you say?”

“Yes, coffee,” She replied, a teasing smile playing on her lips. “But you’ll have to make it past Kuya first. He’s decided to start a... personal bonding time session with the machine.”

The Doctor immediately deflated. “Forget it.”

“Smart choice.” Stella grinned and patted his arm. “Come on, I’ll show you a shortcut.”

As they started walking, Estrella casually adjusted her coat, her tone dropping into something more conspiratorial. “So, about Kuya... You still freezing up around him, or has that improved?”

The Doctor glared ahead, refusing to dignify that with a response.

Estrella’s laugh echoed through the hall as she patted him on the back. “It’s okay, Doc. We all have our weaknesses.”

"Mine just happens to be a damn trickster fox with a knack for making me lose all cognitive function..." He grumbled under his breath, clearly still recovering from the earlier interaction.

Estrella snorted. "Well, good luck with that." She paused dramatically before adding, "I’m placing my bets on him breaking you in the next week."

The Doctor opened his mouth to argue, but he knew better.

Instead, he groaned and rubbed his face.

Estrella grinned, giving him a wink as she sauntered ahead.

❝ Welcome to your one and only Asylum, Doctor. ❞

. . . . . ╰──╮꒰ 🧪 ꒱ ╭──╯ . . . . .

AUTHOR'S NOTE .ᐟ

This chapter is so chaotic, oh god.

I hope you laughed and didn’t find it overwhelmingly long! 😅

I’m still using the pronoun “you” for the new patient, so my silent readers can imagine themselves in the Book…

It’s like a persona for those who might be too shy to give me theirs.

Anyhow, some [OCs] popped up in this chapter (hope you noticed 😉), and there are more coming soon.

If you’d like to see yours featured, please remember to give me their name and pronouns so I can include them!

Also, if your [OC] is behaving in a way that doesn’t feel accurate, please let me know, and I’ll take note of it.

I want to make sure everyone’s characters are represented right.

Stay tuned!