A/N:

Yosh! Ikuzo minna ❤💚❤

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Sentences in Italics are [Y/N]'s thoughts.

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[Y/N]'s POV:

'It's just a hug' is something the adults mention these days but hugs are psychologically regressive, not in a bad way, not to me. It wasn't about the physical contact; it wasn't about some butterflies in my stomach kind of feeling when I hugged him. It was because I was a moth and he was my warm and cozy fireplace crackling up with light on a snowy night that had me attracted to perish in his fervor.

"When are you planning to let go?" he chuckled and I was able to feel the vibration of his voice pass on to my body as it was reverberating and oddly alleviating.

"Shhhhh, don't talk!" I whispered, snuggling in.

I must say he was very huggable. As comfortable as hugging a six-foot teddy bear except he wasn't fluffy, except he wasn't an object. He was Kuroo Tetsurou, a living breathing man who was trying to comfort me to the best of his knowledge with his long and warm embrace just because my day was exhausting.

"Your foot is gonna hurt!" he softly murmured, rubbing my back in small circles.

His calm and steady heartbeat pounded against mine which slowly swept away my stress, sorrow, and pain. I never wanted to leave this soothing moment. A silent hug was all I needed, a comfortable, supportive hug. A hug that spoke millions of words than I could ever muster to express my exhaustion and my need to see him after this long & tiring day.

"Just 10 more seconds!"

"Okay," he said placing his palm on my head. I felt that he understood many things without any talking which made me feel at ease.

A few seconds passed as I gently took in his scent and I was finally able to exhale away the exasperation. I detached myself half-heartedly from that tranquilizing hug and sat on one of the chairs in my desolate classroom. I motioned for him to sit next to me and he dragged a chair and did the same.

"I hope you feel exhausted every day!" he sighed, placing his head onto the table as he kept staring at my face as a whole, without blinking as a tender smile developed at the corner of his lips.

"I don't know if I can handle that much stress every other day but I can give you bear hugs as much as possible!" I smiled, placing my head on the table as well.

"I'd like that very much!" he mumbled, gingerly caressing my eyebrows with his index finger and his eyes followed his finger every step of the way.

"Hmm, are you getting late?" I asked holding his hand, stopping him from continuing his eyebrow massage on my face which I must say was relaxing at its best.

"Yeah but it's okay," he smiled sitting up straight, his smile reaching his eyes to the fullest as his fingers twirled into mine.

"I wanted to talk about a lot of things but we–"

"In your own time but you could pace up a bit because I'm getting a little impatient here!" he winked giving my hand a good squeeze.

"Aye aye, captain!" I nodded, smiling like an idiot.

"Today was an exhausting day for you. So, go home and get some rest. Maybe you'll call me if you were feeling up for it. Yeah?" he questioned but it sounded more like an order.

"Okay!"

"Now give me something to recharge my battery! I've got a long practice session to look forward to," he demanded, standing up from his seat, his arms wide open for me to bounce back into the warmth that I had already started to miss.

"Another hug?" I wiggled my eyebrows playfully.

"Exactly!" he chuckled and I tackled him in a hug and I could feel him sniffing my head. Only this time, I hugged him by his waist as he held my head close to his chest.

We left the class discussing our boring day and what we did in school till the council room and he departed to the school gym to play volleyball. As I picked up my bag, I saw Akihiko-san, Asami-chan, and Soma-san waiting for me outside of the council room. We all paraded down the hall while I sent a quick text to Jojo that I was leaving the school and he replied that he would meet me at the school gate in a couple of minutes.

On the way to the gate, I noticed Nekomata sensei was standing alone and he looked like he was waiting for someone. I excused myself from my friends and asked them to go ahead and I went to talk with Nekomata sensei.

"Are you waiting for someone, sensei?" I queried the old man who had a slight frown on his face. He is a man who always had a smile on his face and I wondered what happened that wiped his undying beam off his face.

"Yes," he replied absent-mindedly and I assumed he was upset about something.

"Okay then, I will take my leave," I announced and I prepared myself to leave.

"It's you that I need to talk to," he spoke out before I left his side. His voice was a bit croakier than usual. Maybe he has something important to tell?

"Oh, sure tell me, sensei!"

"Not as your sensei but as your Oji-chan (grandpa)," he emphasized, patting my shoulder, trying to comfort me for a disaster to come.

All I could answer was, "But we decided that in school we will remain just as a student and a sensei–"

"Stay calm and hear me out!" he declared in a stern voice but I felt as if his voice weakened.

"You are scaring me now," I whispered, my throat choking out the words as my heart started to race. The odd feeling of anguish started to well up on my chest.

"I know I was the one that brought you here to Nerima after the demise of your maternal grandfather. I know that I have been your guardian up until now but–"

"Wha- What is this about? Why are you talking like this Oji-chan?" I somehow managed to throw out the words despite his sentences that stirred up the past that I had buried a long time ago.

"Your mother, she is here in Tokyo. I cannot be your guardian anymore since she is here in the same city. I'm sorry!" he declared with a sad smile that failed to bring me peace and killed every blasting neuron in my brain.

It was blank, a moment where I felt like I was in a dream, a dream where I fall into an endless pit surrounded by nothing but black and nothing to hold onto. And in that instant my nails dug into my palms, restoring my senses from that paralyzing state and I could only stammer, "That can't be true. She was-, she- I-. she left me and–"

"I will always be there for you. No matter what. You can count on that!" he reassured but memories came crashing.

The memory of my grandpa's death, how I had to deal with his funeral, and how his daughter - my mother decided to not appear on that very day of his demise. The memories that reminded me of my loneliness and misery because I didn't know what to do. I remembered how Nekomata Oji-chan came up to me to help me out with his best friend's funeral and how he has helped me up until this minute.

I wanted to know more, I wanted to say so much more but I hastily voiced, "Wow um- I- I understand that you are not to be blamed here but you are saying that as my sensei or as my Oji-chan?" and I stormed off from that place.

My day was filled with just two things so far. Getting to know things that I should have known earlier, a feeling that called for treachery & duplicity of the people around me and getting to know as well as analyze my schoolmates, getting to know every one of them at an official level.

I went home and sat on the sofa trying to calm myself down before Jerry could arrive. He entered the house in a few minutes, dropping his things around as he pleased which was irritating to look at.

"I thought you were going to wait for me," he whined, removing his coat and necktie and dropping them off on the floor.

"Tell me, do you know who Nekomata sensei is?" I questioned, holding my urge to yell at him.

"Yeah, the volleyball coach, a senior staff of the school, and he was your guardian?" he squinted his eyes, trying to recall every other detail he knew about Oji-chan.

"Did you know that my mother is here in Tokyo?" I questioned again, but this time it came out as a blame, my anger reaching its peak.

"Yeah, she transferred to Tokyo after her big promotion! You didn't know?" he queried in surprise. I didn't know and that's the problem. Being left out is my problem.

"Did you both fly together?"

"What, no! Why are you enquiring so much?" he asked, switching on the fan and the Tv.

"What else do I not know, Jerry?"

"What?" he squealed, trying to understand the situation, sitting next to me, his stinky sweaty odor spreading across the room.

"I didn't know you took pills; I didn't know that Oji-chan knew about Mrs. McNeil, I didn't know my mother is here in Tokyo, I don't know anything at all. Or I look like some dud that you all decided to keep this information from me?"

"I thought she–"

"She what? She told me? She doesn't tell me anything, Jojo. I'm begging you, if you know anything else, now is the time to tell because I feel like I'm in the unknown all the time!" I babbled and barked so fast because I wasn't able to keep the indignation of the situation anymore.

"Your mom, she is living on her own, near her office in an apartment so that it would be easy for her to commute to work," he confessed.

"Where?"

"Minato Ku (city)!"

"You know, that's only like 20-25km away from here?" I scoffed, thinking how unfair the entire situation is.

"I know but we both know how much she cares. So–"

"No! Don't, just don't!" I stopped him because I didn't want to hear anything anymore and walked up the stairs.

"Why are you going up? I thought we could watch some Tv!"

"I am going to put on a facemask cause that shit is calming and you need a shower, you stink. Oh, also clean up your mess!" I yelled and banged my room close.

I felt anger, disappointment, and a mixture of other emotions at the same time so I searched for something to do, to distract myself. It was so stressful to deal with all of it that I even started to dust the fan because I couldn't focus on anything else. I didn't want to deal with any human being so I cleaned my room and arranged everything in order. I felt a little better because I was able to fix something that I was in control of. If I could animate reality, my room might even sparkle.

Later, I took a shower and placed a very cold sheet mask onto my face but I didn't expect that it would be amazingly calming but it smelled so good and I started to crave smoothies. I wished that I had some cucumber lying around so that I could feel all spa-ish but I was lucky enough to have a sheet mask in my draw.

After all that cleaning and self-care, I diverted my attention to food. I climbed down the stairs and saw Jojo munching on a box of pringles and I wondered where that came from. I went to the kitchen only to see the fridge fully stocked up and some snacks lying around on the counter.

"Did you buy all these?" I questioned Mrs. McNeil who was stocking up the cabinets and she nodded with a smile.

I was in awe; I have never seen my fridge with this many fruits and vegetables and for some reason, I felt like I was at the grocery store instead of my house. There were snacks, pasta, ramen, rice, pulses, and cereals, and everything from the store. When I lived alone, I was not a person who was just used to junk food and takeaways. I cooked healthy meals as much as possible but what was in front of me was otherworldly.

"You look startled. Something wrong?" Mrs. McNeil queried at my confounded state.

"It's nothing. I um-I'm just going to make some smoothie!" I awkwardly smiled, trying to comprehend the fact that I have a caretaker which I was not used to.

"I want some of that smoothie too!" Jojo ordered without having the etiquette to include a please and thank you in his sentence.

"Make it yourself, couch potato," I sneered as I noticed that he was still in his uniform.

"I will make it for you both!" Mrs. McNeil offered to which I thanked her.

I stomped next to the sofa and irritated the crap out of Jojo by asking him to take a shower with pokes and friendly slaps on the back and he finally gave in after enduring 20 straight minutes of my torture. Torturing him also made me feel a bit better and I savored a healthy mango smoothie which tasted like heaven as the tang and the tropical flavor of the fresh mango kicked into my system.

Jojo opened his door as he came out of the shower after half an hour and I teased, "You had so much dirt that it took half an hour to clean yourself up?"

"Wow this is good stuff!" he remarked, gulping the smoothie like a barbarian spilling some of it on the floor as Mrs. McNeil cleaned up after him every step of the way.

"Can you not spill that on my floor?" I yelled and he went back into his room and came out a few minutes later, without the glassware.

Mrs. McNeil was such a patient lady, if it were me, I'd smack his ass till he did his chores right. Mrs. McNeil was indeed our caretaker who was assigned to help us but Jojo on the other hand ended being a brat who made her clean up after him every time he did something, that too on her first day itself. I wondered how he could be so careless about his own things as I watched the lady put his uniform in the laundry basket.

Jojo came out of his room and asked me to help him out with something. I went into his room and he was staring at his shelf like it was talking to him and I didn't want to disturb his very important conversation with his shelf.

"I need help with that!" he grumbled, still looking at the shelf without pointing out to a particular thing.

"That what?"

"That jar or vase or whatever," he stirred around and stuttered to get his words out.

"Why do you need help with that? It fits in the shelf and looks good too!"

"My mom, she is in it. I don't know what to do with it," he mumbled with a stoic face, folding his arms trying to be strong.

"Follow me and bring her with you!" I asserted, holding his hands.

"I- I can't, my hands are," he stopped his sentence mid-way and I could see him shaking and I understood how hard it was for him to be doing this.

"Okay, let's just sit down for a while but you have to be the one to do it. We are just going to walk across the hall and open the room next to the dining table and place her urn in that room. We could get some flowers if you want?" I hushed to him like he was a child as he sat down on his bed with his hands on his face.

"I shouldn't cry. I'm a man, I shouldn't cry," he kept mumbling that on repeat as he wiped his incoming tears every two seconds.

"Jerry, just look at me, it's okay!" I murmured, slowly removing his hands from his face, his tears flowing down his chin.

"It's been almost month since she- she-, around this time–" he choked as he started to gasp for breath and I started to panic.

"I need some water here!" I yelled and Mrs. McNeil rushed in with a glass and a jar of water.

Jojo calmed down after a while, taking his own time to process things on his own as I stayed by his side, holding his hand and letting him cry as much as he wanted. I just wanted to be there for him because I was not the best person to handle grief myself. I just silently sat there along with him until he muttered, "I'm ready!"

He carefully took the urn and held it tight against his chest as he walked across the hall without wanting to spill the contents of the urn. I opened the door of the room where I kept the pictures of my father and my brother as he walked in with red, swollen eyes. He placed the urn onto the table right below the pictures of my family and he just stood there for a while taking in the scene in front of him.

"Your grandpa, his picture; It's not here?" he questioned, finally gaining the strength to speak coherent sentences.

"I couldn't bring myself to keep his picture here. He left me when I needed him the most. I'm still at the angry phase," I conceded trying to leave the room because I couldn't stand there anymore.

He held me by my arms forbidding me from leaving the room as I winced at his tight hold and he insisted, "Bring it!"

"Jojo, I can't. I don't want–"

"For me, please!" he pleaded, cutting me off, his hold tightening by the second which was going to leave a bruise for sure.

"I–"

"Please!" he muttered again but it was more of a demand.

"Fine," I declared as I left the room and he followed me to my room like he was a lost puppy.

"You are hovering!" I sighed as I searched my room for my grandfather's photo as he stood right behind me looking over my shoulder.

"You helped me. I'm just trying to do the same the way I know it!" he sniffled, helping me with my search.

We found the picture; left my room and I hung my grandpa's picture next to my dad's. I knew in my heart that I wasn't ready for it but having Jerry with me while doing this was somehow helpful. Maybe it was time because the second I hanged his picture; I wasn't as angry as I thought I would be.

We requested Mrs. McNeil to clean the room that I kept as a shrine and replace the wilted flowers whenever she had time. We walked out of that room and Jerry pulled the door to close it as it was used to be and, at that moment, I knew that it was time to keep it open from now on. I immediately stopped Jerry and asked him to leave it open and he did the same.

We ate our dinner in silence and Mrs. McNeil left after cleaning up the kitchen and advised us to sleep as she witnessed everything that we did today. I made sure Jojo took just one pill before he went to sleep per his prescription and waited in his room until he fell asleep. I moved back to my room and all I could think at that juncture was to talk to Kuroo and tell him about Jerry and Mrs. McNeil and maybe about Nekomata Oji-chan and much more.

It was almost midnight when I called him and he picked the phone immediately and whispered, "Hey!"

"Why are you whispering?" I asked and I could hear some sounds of shuffling around so I waited till he responded.

"Sorry, I just came to my room. You okay?" he asked with tenderness in his voice.

"Yeah, I guess?" I replied with a sigh.

"I'm glad you called!"

"Kuroo, I–"

"Hey, I want you to listen now. Okay? I was being selfish and I kept asking you to share details but I realized I never told you about myself. So, you are going to listen and I'm going to talk. Okay?"

"Okay, go on!"

"You can ask questions but don't interrupt me like all the time because I sometimes forget what I'm trying to say!" he chuckled.

"Thought you were the provocation expert, a school topper, a person who attends science Olympiads..."

"Hey did you ask people about me or something?" he interrupted the list of achievements.

"No!"

"Liar!"

"I just took a sneak peek inside your file is all!"

"That is cheating!"

"Well, a girl's gotta do some stalking!"

"Stalker!" he giggled.

"Okay come on, what were you going to tell me? Some deep dark secrets that no one knows?"

"No, but a few things like... Um, My Mother's Maiden name is Yamada and my parents are um-, divorced. My father lives in Berlin he works at Daimler, I live with my grandparents here just a few minutes away from your place. Oh, also I have no siblings but I see Kenma as my little brother!"

"Mmmhmmm"

"I like Butterscotch ice-cream with salted caramel chips and I'm sure you have noticed that I like strawberry milkshake. But my most favorite food is grilled salted mackerel pike, my grandma actually made it today!"

"Someone was queasy around meat for a while!"

"Don't call me out like that, that was a moment of weakness. You scared me and for a while, I couldn't look at meat after watching that, that thing. Ewww!"

"Okay okay, continue. Um, tell me about your hobbies or something!" I queried as this was pleasant and interesting.

"I used to fly fish with my grandpa, nowadays we just play cards. I like going to the beach during summer maybe we can have a beach date during our summer holidays! We could swim, play at the beach and–"

"Okay okay got it, you love the beach and we can go to the beach, as a date or whatever."

"Good and, um-, I am a dog person. I love Huskies, Malamutes, German shepherds, Northern Innuits; Basically, anything that looks like a wolf. And um, of course, Golden retrievers and Labradors because they are cute."

"Okay Dogman. What else?"

"Um, I love dancing, I don't dance in public but I'm pretty good at it and I have this urge to dance with you right now but you are so far away," he grumbled.

"I can't dance. Nuh-uh, I don't dance. I suck at it!"

"Well, you can follow my lead then!"

"Well, is it going to be a waltz?"

"No!"

"Then you are not the prince charming that I was hoping to sweep me off my foot and dance like the ones in those fairy tales in an evening ball!"

"What's the last book you read?" he questioned, out of a sudden.

"Why?"

"Just humor me!"

"I think um-, the pride and the prejudice?"

"Now I know why you are talking about Waltz's!" he laughed which thundered in my speaker.

"What's your favorite book or novel?" I asked out of curiosity.

"I love Dan Brown and I was reading the Game of Thrones series and that stuff is amazing. So, you could say the song of Ice and fire is my new favorite!"

"I just watched the show. Season 8 was awful! I want a remake!"

"You should read the book then!"

"Okay then, I will!" I chirped.

"Well, what did I miss? Um, my favorite color is Black, goes well with the name, and uh, I like cycling and I'm a bike person. I have my learner's license now and I could take you out on a spin in my motorcycle if you would like. It's my grandfather's, Royal Enfield. Also, I have some scars in my legs and knees from learning to cycle, it just doesn't go away!"

"I think scars are cool, I mean scars are hot!"

"Oya?"

"Yeah! Anything else you'd like to add Kuroo Tetsurou-kun?"

"Don't kun zone me. We are closer than that and you should call me by my first name. On second thought, I like how you just call me Kuroo. I like the ring of it but you can call me however you want!"

"Okay! Your essay about myself gets 5/5! Congrats!"

"Now that's just snarky!"

"Gomen gomen (Sorry)–"

"And I'd like for you to date me; like seriously date me. There is more to me than it meets the eye but for now, that's it. That's all you have earned for now. We can get to know each other with time and I wish you would just take a leap of faith that I'd treat you good!" he announced which was flattering.

"I uh, yes? No! Yes, wait I thought we were already–"

"Good, then I wasn't imagining things!"

We continued the phone call for hours and I was narrating him about my likes and dislikes the same way he did except for the family part. He kept muttering "Hmmm's" without interrupting my flow like he was listening to some story and in the end, I somehow mustered up the courage to talk about Jerry.

"Kuroo?"

"Hmm!"

"Jerry Reyne lives with me, my mother adopted him. He is legally my brother. We used to be best friends back when we were children. And Mrs. McNeil is the caretaker appointed by my mom to help us out because he is a big man child who cannot take care of himself. But I can't really blame him, his only family was his mother and she passed away so my mom legally took him in."

I got no response, not even the 'hmmm' that he was saying a minute ago. I waited for a few seconds because I thought he was furious with me or shocked at the given information.

"Kuroo? You there?" I called out to get some sort of response but unfortunately, I didn't get any.

I checked my phone if there was any signal problem or if the call was cut abruptly but I heard a low wheeze, almost like a snore. This guy had slept and I felt like an idiot. HOW DARE HE SLEEPS IN THE MIDDLE OF AN IMPORTANT CONVERSATION?

I cut the call and almost broke my phone by throwing it off but I was lucky that it didn't break as it just fell on my bed. I wondered if he heard the part about Jojo and then he fell asleep or he was asleep ever since he started his hums. I tried not to think of it and decided that I would talk to him in school the next morning as I made myself comfortable and went to bed.

But my brain had to keep saying; How can he sleep like that? JUST HOW?

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A/N:

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