Syn

     I signed my signature across the bottom of the stack of papers. I had spent the entire night speaking to my lawyers and drawing up my will and handling last-minute loose ends. None of this shit felt real yet. We were planning for a wedding only earlier today and now I was organizing how to make things more comfortable for her for after I was gone.

This time, you were cruel.

Her words from earlier passed through my head and I stopped mid-signing.

I was at peace.

But you decided that you couldn't be the one that stuck around this time.

"Fuck," I cursed, sitting back in the chair and running a frustrated hand through my hair. I knew she'd be upset about what was going to happen-- it was expected. I just didn't expect her to look at me the way she did. Like I had become an entirely new person right in front of her. Which I didn't. This was the most me thing I could do.

I loved her more than anything. Infinitely more than I had the will to live-- which I did, don't get me wrong. I went the whole nine fucking yards when I imagined our future together earlier today. Kids-- adoption if she wanted, or we could find a way for her to carry a baby. Our future arguments; there would be a ton-- she was insane.

Traveling; I never really cared for it much. I had been content with staying in the Underworld for the rest of my life, but I would have gone elsewhere if that was what she wanted.

"Girl, you gotta help me out here." I heard Cleo's voice from outside my room followed by staggered footsteps and I furrowed my brows.

I heard a giggle and my body went still. I knew that laugh anywhere. "Sorry." Queen. I heard her laugh again and I shot up from the chair. I had resisted the urge to call or text her all night. I knew she wanted some time so herself so hearing her here right now was the last thing I expected.

I opened my bedroom door just in time to see Cleo's fist halfway to the door and she gave me an apologetic look. "Hey, sorry to bother you."

Bother me? I ignored her words and turned my focus to Queen. Her eyes were half shut and she was swaying. She was still wearing the same dress from earlier except for a jacket of mine and what looked like a blanket from the hotel resting on her shoulders.

I lowered myself and grabbed her face to look up at me. I opened her eyelid and she pouted, moving out of my hold. "Is she drunk?"

"Incredibly," Cleo replied. "When I got to the hotel she didn't seem that drunk so we drank a ton, but...now she's double fucked up."

"Why did you bring her all the way here?" I asked her, taking Queen from her. I wrapped an arm around her waist and held one of her hands with my free hand. "She needs to be in bed."

"She was throwing up and kept asking for you. I didn't know what to do." She shrugged her shoulders and gave me an apologetic smile. I could see the exhaustion in her eyes. She handed me Queen's purse and heels and I gave her a nod.

"It's alright, you did the right thing. Thank you, Cleo. Get some rest."

"You too. I'll see y'all in the morning."

I said a quick goodnight to her and she walked away, leaving me to handle the stumbling mess that was Queen. I had seen her tipsy, a tinge drunk at most...but never like this. Was it because of me?

I bent down and wrapped an arm under her thighs. "Up you go." I lifted her in my arms and her arms moved around my neck. She nuzzled her face into the crook of my neck and I held back a smile as I walked back into the room.

I kicked the door closed and dropped her things by the door. "I have...a fiancé," I heard her mumble. "He wouldn't like this."

"Is that so?" I walked with her into the bathroom and flipped the lights on. She hissed as if the sudden light had begun scorching her skin and I shook my head. I walked over to the counter and when we were close enough, I looked down at her. "Queen." I pushed her hair behind her ear and a frown formed between her brows. "I need your help, okay?"

She blinked her eyes open and after a few seconds, familiarity resonated in her eyes. Excitement filled her eyes and a smile spread across her lips. "Baby!" She yelled and wrapped her arms around my neck. She peppered kisses across my cheek and neck and I laughed. "Where were you? There was a man here right now." She looked around before looking at me.

"I kicked his ass," I whispered. "He was trying to flirt with you."

She frowned. "Oh."

"You don't seem particularly happy about that."

"He smelled good."

I chuckled. "Can you stand?"

She nodded wildly. So definitely not. I helped her onto her feet slowly until she was steady enough to stand on her own. When she was, I removed the blanket and my jacket from her small body. I brought my hands to the bottom of her dress when she shivered and she placed her hands above mine to stop me.

I gave her a questioning look. "What is it?"

"I-I'm nervous," she slurred.

I smiled. "About?"

"You..." she started before pausing and I raised my brows in question. "I need to pee."

"Okay." I helped her walk to the toilet but instead of sitting down, she looked up at me.

"Are you going to watch me relieve myself?" She questioned me.

"Have you been watching Titanic?" She only ever spoke this formally after watching that movie in particular for some reason.

She swallowed a breath and shook her head. "No."

"Uh-huh." I hummed in disbelief. "Sit." I helped her sit down on the toilet and she looked up at me with a deep frown. "And yes, I plan to watch."

"Kinky," she whispered before looking down at her toes.

"Weirdo." I smiled down at her before walking out of the restroom. I grabbed a water bottle from my nightstand and retrieved the pain medication from my drawer. From the looks of it, she was going to need this shit.

I heard the toilet flush as I headed back into the restroom and I walked in to see her zombie walking to the sink. "I would've helped you get up." I set the medication down beside her as she washed her hands lazily.

When she was done, I opened the water bottle and held it out for her. She refused, moving her mouth into a straight line and shaking her head. "No."

"Yes." I stepped toward her and wrapped a hand behind her head. I lifted the bottle to her lips and she stared up at me. "Open," I ordered.

Her smile became suggestive and she opened her mouth wide, making her tongue flat. I faltered a bit and when she saw my expression, she giggled. Her sultry laugh settled into a grin and she bit her bottom lip. I gulped, my mouth running dry and her hands found their way to the waistband of my sweats. "Let me suck your--"

I took the chance to put the water bottle up to her mouth before she could finish her sentence and her brows furrowed. After a couple of seconds, she began drinking it on her own and I took a couple of pills out of the container. "Open."

She did as I said, purposefully licking my fingers and I let out a deep exhale. She was making it hard to stay on my best behavior. She took another sip of water and when she was done, she opened her mouth to show me. "Good job, Princess."

A smile crept up her cheeks and I took the bottle from her hands. "Shower time."

Her smile immediately dropped at that and she pouted. "No, I don't want to," she drawled out.

"It wasn't a suggestion, my love. You reek of alcohol and vomit." My hands made their way to her thighs and I pulled the dress over her body. When it was completely over her head, I tossed it aside. My eyes landed on her naked body and she shivered. "Are you cold?"

She nodded.

I walked past her to turn the heater on but on my way back, something on her waist caught my eye. I narrowed my eyes at her side and grabbed her wrist, raising her arm. There was a big, purple bruise lying there and staring back at me. This wasn't on her earlier. "What the fuck is this?"

"Hm?" She looked at me, lost.

"This, Queen." I pointed at the spot, my fingers careful to only touch the skin around the bruise. "What happened here?"

She glanced down at it. "Oh, I killed someone."

My eyes met hers. Oh? "Who?"

"Charles."

"Charles..."I repeated. "What is a 'Charles'?"

"Some guy that bought my drinks at..." she swallowed and patted her chest. "He also slashed your tires."

"My tires?"

"Mhmm." She nodded. "Sorry. I left your car."

"This was before you arrived at the hotel?" She nodded, her body slightly swaying when she shut her eyes. I held her steady before forming my next question. "How did you get there then?"

"Charles drove me."

Anger bubbled its way through my stomach. I tried my best not to take it out on her. I'm sure there was an explanation-- she was too drunk to tell me reliably right now. "I will ask you about this Charles in the morning."

"I fed on his soul," she admitted to me and my movements slowed.

"After you killed him?" She nodded in response. "How was that?"

"Horrible." There was a faraway look on her face. "I had all of his thoughts...memories. He was a bad guy."

Hmm. Drinking blood was personal enough after killing a person, but taking their soul wasn't for the weak. Even when Queen was pregnant and needed to feed on souls, we had them purified in hellfire. With that method, the effects of taking a soul from a fresh body would be slim to none.

I'd done it once or twice before I could understand what significance their thoughts and memories held. It was a horrible experience for me. I couldn't even begin to imagine what Queen went through. Blood was constant. Souls, however...you couldn't look at a person and know if their soul was good for you or not.

I cupped her cheeks in my hands and caressed her skin with my thumbs. "I wish you called me." Definitely wished she did. Now I'd have to look into what happened and make sure all loose ends were tied. The last thing we needed right now was for the council to find a body with a missing soul.

"I thought you'd be mad." She frowned. "The car--"

"I don't give a fuck about the car. Call me next time. No matter what."

Her face fell and she let out a laugh more dejected than I had ever heard her sound. "Next time..." she said. "You're not going to be here for a next time."

My chest pained at the reminder and I took a deep breath, my eyes trained on hers. "Listen to me, okay?" Her. eyes watered as she looked up at me and something in me cracked at the sight. I used to think she was beautiful when she cried. But from the moment I fell in love with her, it was the last thing I wanted to ever see again. "Call anyway," I told her. "If things get tough, call. I may not be able to answer, but I'll make a voicemail just for you so...leave a message. Tell me everything you're unable to say to anyone else."

She shook her head and removed my hands from her face. "Why..." She patted her chest as her breath caught. "Why are you getting ready to...I don't understand why you can't..."

I could see the frustration in her eyes as she slurred trying to find the words. What she was so desperately trying yet failing to say was already running through my head repeatedly since she said them to me earlier.

Why I was letting this happen.

Why I wasn't fighting...

The answer was obvious.

Because of her.

"Tell them..." she blew out a breath and shut her eyes to focus. "Tell them to take me instead."

I smiled. "Why would I do that?"

"I'll die anyways."

My smile immediately fell at that and I reached out for her. "Don't say that." I pulled her to me. "I know it sounds scary and it's going to be hard, but the only thing keeping me going is knowing that you're going to live. And you will live. Live large enough for the both of us."

She looked at me for a few long moments, her eyes red and tired. Then she shook her head slowly. "No." Her voice was nothing more than a whisper as my chest pained. "I don't want to."

I had a feeling that above all the things she said tonight, she meant this the most.

And that terrified me.

"Let's get you to bed."

꧁꧂