Queen

The moment I said the words, I wanted to snatch them back from the air between us. I didn't mean it. My goal was to push his buttons but that one hurt me. I cringed inwardly before forcing myself to look in his direction. I braced myself, waiting to see his beautiful face pained by my words but again, I was surprised.

There was nothing. Not even anger and that tended to be his default.

I shifted, growing uncomfortable with his passive gaze. He was thinking, that was clear, but of what? I had no clue. I cleared my throat- suddenly wanting to be anywhere but here.

"Well, this has been a blast."

I stood up from the bed and breezed past him like a skittish rat. I grabbed my torn clothes from the floor, mentally cursing him. For ripping my shit for no apparent reason and now for being the reason why the walls felt like they were suddenly closing in. I needed air.

I stood up straight and faced him when I was at the door. He had his back to me, his attention still seemingly on the bed and I fiddled with one of the few buttons left on my destroyed blouse.

"If you need anything, yell. There will be a guard outside at all times. I will leave the papers for you- I might not need them but...I'd appreciate us handling it this way rather than hearing it from some lawyer at your will reading," I said.

No response.

I clicked my tongue and nodded. "Okay, well. I'll be back later."

I turned back, knocking on the heavy door in a sequence I'd only shared with the three guards standing outside. Guards. Pfft. It was funny in a sense. What could they truly do if Syn tried to leave?

The answer was, not much at all. They'd die if they laid a finger on him- if he didn't get to them first, I would. They were here more so as my eyes and ears. If something was happening or Syn had a request, they'd let me know.

I thought through this a lot. Truly.

With my last knock, the door opened with a heavy creak and I was faced with one of the guards. A demon from some other post that I had assigned here for the time being. He was huge, dressed in a dark suit and towering well over me. If I had been face to face with him a few years ago I definitely would've had a panic attack- some people looked friendly and approachable...and some looked like him.

I gave him a nod and held my clothes against me as I took a step out.

"Your majesty." He greeted me with a nod.

I stepped past him, looking for the other guards standing at the door.

"Please keep me updated--"

My words were abruptly cut off as the air was seized from my lungs. The belt. My eyes widened as it squeezed around my neck and I was pulled back into the cell. When I was flush against Syn's body, his large hand moved to my throat. He let out a shaky breath against the side of my neck and chills floated across my bare skin.

"Remember." He whispered with a squeeze, his face buried in my hair as he inhaled. "You asked for this."

He let go of me suddenly, pushing me toward the bed and I caught myself. The air couldn't enter my body quickly enough as my lungs seized every bit of oxygen around me. Fuck! I stood up, spinning back around but I was too late. He tilted his head, eyes on me as the door shut. The locks sealed my fate.

All I could do was stare at it in shock. Just my fucking luck- honestly my luck needed to be studied. Only I, of all people could manage to get myself fucking reverse locked up.

I had all the power and he'd somehow managed to pull the rug from beneath me. I was impressed for a moment before I realized what this meant and it had me running toward the door and banging with all my strength.

"Syn, I fucking swear!" I screamed. There was no way he'd keep me locked in here and go off to heaven. I knew he was angry- he had every right to be but...he wouldn't do this. Right? I tried to convince myself as the moments passed. I drove myself insane with the thought that that was the last time I'd see him and tears pricked my eyes. "Please," I pleaded into the air as tears blurred my vision.

I broke down, leaning my head against the door as emotion took hold of me. I swore I had managed to get the upper hand in handling my emotions and this but the universe had a cruel way of humbling me every single time.

I heard the latch on the other door click and I froze, lifting my head.

It was only a crack at first but my eyes immediately landed on the floor- blood stained the concrete, painting it a deep red that painfully contrasted with the hard grey.

It opened further and the image only became gorier. Bodies were laid across the floor- and bodies perhaps may have been the wrong word, limbs was better.

A bloody leg was by the door, an arm a few feet away and when my eyes moved down the hall, I saw the guard who opened the door for me. Or at least what was left of him.

His head was lying on its side, blood pouring from it and I took a step back. I wasn't one to scare easily, but then again, it wasn't every day that I saw dismembered body parts sprinkled across the floor like pepperoni on a pizza.

I took another step back into the room as blood began seeping in and I saw his black dress shoes take a step in toward me. My eyes shot up to him.

Blood stained his lips and jaw, dripping down his neck- as if there could really be another culprit. He held a red finger up to his lips as if I'd scream and a dimpled smile spread across his lips. He looked toward the open door before looking back at me, his wavy dark hair moving with him. "If you'd like to run, I'll give you thirty seconds before I come after you."

"W-why would I run?" Why would you come after me?

"You should," he said lowly.

"What did I do-"

"One," he started, moving aside and giving me full access to the door.

"But--"

"Two," he drawled lowly in a sing-song voice, and fuck that was enough to put some fire under my ass. I held my things against me and made a beeline for the door. There was a saying I had kept reminding myself of this morning. Act now, apologize later. But as I reached for the door, part of me still wondered if I should turn and face him. Run or stay? My breath came too quickly to think clearly, and the manic gleam in his eyes answered that for me.

My adrenaline kicked in and he was on four when I passed the threshold of the door. I ignored the wetness at the soles of my feet and kept my eyes on the other at the end of the dark hall. All I had to do was make it there and I could snap my fingers and be out of here. The rest could be figured out later.

Escape was almost within my grasp, the sweet scent of anywhere else seeming so nice all of a sudden. But before I could take another step, I felt his presence behind me, closing in like a shadow.

His arms snaked around me, and I couldn't breathe for a moment, the pressure so tight. I screamed—but the sound was strangled, trapped by the sudden force of his hold. My feet dangled, useless, as he lifted me from the floor like I weighed nothing. A beat hammered in my chest, and for a brief second, I thought I might burst.

"I lied," he said simply before carrying me back toward the cell. I fought against him, hard.

There was no way I'd let him keep me in there.

I fought with everything I had, thrashing wildly, but my limbs felt like they were moving through molasses, slow and weak. His grip tightened around me, unyielding, like steel, and I realized—too late—that no matter how much I struggled, it wouldn't matter.

He was a wall, and I was nothing more than a crashing wave.

He was strong. 

I had believed that us being down here would put us on an even playing field if he tried anything, but he was proving me wrong with every swift step he took.

It suddenly dawned on me that he was a man who was stronger than I was.

His love was the only thing that kept him from using his full strength on me. But that wasn't comforting—it was terrifying. What kind of love was this? One that could protect me... or one that could break me if I pushed too far?

I certainly hoped it was the former as he kicked the door behind us with a slam and dropped me onto the bed. He leaned in, a slow smile creeping across his lips.

His bloody thumb brushed over my cheek in a caress, but it only made me shudder more. His eyes flickered to the red now staining my skin, and a dark, satisfied smile spread across his face.

"So pretty."His voice was low, almost affectionate, but the look in his eyes was anything but kind.

I blinked, and a tear I hadn't realized I was holding back rolled down my cheek. His smile only deepened as he watched it fall. "Those won't work on me, Princess," he whispered. "You broke me. Now it's my turn."

I shut my eyes, hoping to push it all away, to feel the space between us. But even in the darkness behind my eyelids, it felt too familiar.

His shoes scraped against the concrete as he moved toward me, and I felt the weight of the world crashing down. The fabric of my clothes—tattered, clutched too tightly—was torn away in a swift motion, leaving me exposed.

The air, cold and biting, danced across my bare skin, and I shivered as though the chill ran deep into my bones. In the darkness, I could've been anywhere. This moment could've been anyone.

I felt the shadow of monsters long buried in my past stretching toward me. It wasn't him, not really. I knew that, but it didn't matter. The fear, the helplessness, the déjà vu of it all—it gripped me just the same. He wasn't them. He couldn't be.

But right now, in this moment, he felt like every one of them and I knew he'd be the worst.

I had promised myself, over and over, that I would fight. That I'd never let it happen again. Next time, I would fight harder. The mantra, the lie I'd clung to for so long, echoed in my mind. I had said it so many times I almost believed it. But in that instant, the cold truth crushed me: I couldn't fight him.

I wouldn't fight him.

Because I loved him. More than I'd ever loved anything or anyone.

And that, that realization, was the most suffocating weight of all. I was trapped in a cage of my own making, betrayed by the very thing I held closest to my heart. I couldn't move, couldn't scream, couldn't escape. All I could do was be there, helpless, as he towered over me—watching me break.

I felt his hand slip behind my neck for a brief moment before it tangled in my hair, and then his lips were on mine. There was no gentle testing, no tasting the moment like he usually did. He didn't ease us into it—he dove straight in, dragging us both into cold water. He took my mouth with no warning, as though there was no space left for hesitation.

The feeling was amplified as my back hit the cool sheets, and suddenly, he was on top of me. I kissed him back, uncertainty thick on my tongue, as my lips searched for a piece of him, any trace of something that felt real.

My hands found their way to his chest, clutching at the fabric of his shirt as if it were the last tether I had to the man I thought I knew. Our bodies were molded together, but the material of his shirt—rough beneath my fingertips—was the only thing that kept me grounded.

For a moment, it worked. For a split second, I clung to it, to him. But as quickly as it had settled, the weight of my thoughts surged forward, like a tidal wave, swallowing me whole.

My mind began to transcend the moment, spiraling. Countless faces filled the blank space in my head, rotating like a lottery machine, until one landed—the one I knew all too well. The one I saw in my nightmares. The one whose gaze still haunted me, whose hands had once been the cause of so many shattered parts of me.

And in that instant, I couldn't breathe anymore.

Everything in my mind screamed at me to shut down, to jump ship, to separate my mind from my body—but this was Syn. As twisted as it was, if he truly wanted to hurt me this badly, I'd bear it. No matter how much I knew it would destroy me.

One breath at a time.

In. Then out.

As long as I could force one breath in and push it out again, I was alive. I would survive.

I felt his hardness pressing against the fabric of my panties, and chills crept through my body—slow, shivering, deep between my legs. Warmth began to unfurl there as everything else in me remained frozen.

It spread upward, a slow burn like a flame trying to melt an iceberg. I broke out in a sweat, my mind at war with my body. I didn't want this, but then I wanted it so desperately that I couldn't breathe unless it was through his lips.

It was the worst kind of torture.

I felt his teeth graze my lip before he kissed a sloppy trail down to my neck. He sucked and nipped, his hand wrapped around my throat giving him access.

I felt a warm swipe of his tongue before his fangs sunk into my skin and I winced- pushing against him. He didn't give. The pain in my neck blossomed into an electric heat that flowed in waves through my body, making my head go fuzzy.

He drank until my vision blurred and I couldn't think straight anymore.

"Will you just let me drink until you pass out?" He whispered, swiping his tongue over the bites before a dark and amused chuckle left his lips and fell onto my skin. He lifted his head and my lashes fluttered open.

I needed to see him.

He only paid a passing glance to the tear falling down my face before looking directly into my eyes. "You wanted a reaction, now you've got it. I will take everything you allow me and not care how much it's destroying you."

I swallowed a breath as his finger traced a line down my neck. "As pathetic as I find it, I won't intervene. I'll let you keep your eyes shut and imagine whatever monster you want while I'm fucking you. If that's something you can bear, then by all means, continue doing nothing."

He pushed, hitting my most sensitive nerves just as I had done to him and I couldn't say I didn't deserve it. But I couldn't stop the tiny sliver of anger that began creeping behind the storm of madness swirling in my head.

Pathetic?

He sighed before placing his palms on either side of my head. "I'm disappointed I won't get to see this monster you spoke so highly of earlier," he teased, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smile. He kissed the tip of my nose before sitting back on his hind legs.

His hands wrapped around the bottom of my thighs and he pulled me toward him as if I were a doll that weighed nothing. "But pussy is pussy, right? I'll try not to be too disappointed."

My heart dropped as that sliver of anger shot through my body and I sat up, peeling away from him. "What the fuck did you just say?" I gritted. There was no way that left his mouth- Syn...he just didn't say things like that.

He grabbed my legs again, and I fell on my back. I scrambled to get back up, kicking against his hold but he pushed them down. The weight of his body came on top of me, his hips flexing between my legs and keeping me pinned to the mattress. "You heard exactly what the fuck," he whispered, mocking me, "I said."

I looked at him shrewdly, trying to decipher his actions. But his eyes gave me no clues, he looked bored, as if I were the one keeping him here and he'd rather be anywhere else. That careless look of his only hurt and pissed me off further.

I pushed against his chest but the man was a fucking wall. "Get the hell off me!" I snapped at him.

He simply let out a breath of laughter before lowering his lips to mine. It was a fleeting graze just so show that he could before he whispered a "No."

His hot tongue swiped against my mouth before he claimed it and I froze, registering what had just taken place. My body heated, tempted to move against his and find a way to let him make me forget this entire interaction.

Yet my mind was taking me to a dark place again. But unlike before, there wasn't just paranoia and escapism lying there...there was rage.

At him- at his refusal. And at everyone who had ever put me in this position before him.

I bit his lips, an ache growing in my temple as I tried to pull my head back into the mattress to escape the kiss. I tasted the sweet metallic tang against his mouth and knew I had drawn blood but he only groaned- his hardness pressing against me. I resisted against him, my arms hitting against him wherever I could get some type of leeway.

I felt him chuckle against my mouth as he shifted, grabbing my hands and pressing them to my sides. He let out a deep breath as he broke the kiss and looked down at my body as if I were some piece of meat.

"Get. The. Fuck!" I screamed, using the chance to kick against him as he held my arms. My foot managed to make contact with his hard abdomen and thighs, but he simply grunted before biting his lip to contain an amused smile.

He let go of one of my arms to push my thigh down and I swiped at his face, shocking both of us. He paused, a flash of anger passing his face before he sucked his teeth and nodded.

"Okay." That was all he said before he moved to straddle my hips. I thrashed under him but he held my wrists with one hand before taking a moment to compose himself. He looked up at the ceiling, blowing out a slow breath. I pushed up against him but he was too fucking heavy.

He took his time, ignoring my attempts to escape and I looked at the man causing my distress. How could he? He brought his attention back to me as if he'd forgotten I was there and I glared at him. His dark hair fell into his face and he ran a bloody hand through it.

"Syn," I forced out, staying calm for a moment and hoping to get through to him. "Please. Why are you doing this to me?"

We both heard the break in my voice as I failed to hold back my pain.

But he paid no mind to it. Instead, he tilted his head in thought for a moment before giving me his answer. "Because I can."

꧁꧂