Queen

     "Rise and shine, woman." I stirred in my sleep, my body feeling heavy against the bed. I pulled the sheets over my head to hide from the sudden intrusion. I was able to rest for a mere couple of seconds before I heard his footsteps round the bed. Within the same instant, the blanket was torn away from my body. "Time to wake up."

"No." I groaned and turned to my other side. I shut my eyes tight, set on getting just a few more moments. It was such a good dream too.

My entire body ached. My head felt like it was full of cement, my throat stuffed with cotton. And my body— my fucking body. It was as though a train had run over me...and stayed there.

I felt the bed press down beside my head and then behind me. My eyes fluttered open and landed on his strong hand. His fingers were curled into the white sheets, the veins on his forearms flexing and I pressed my thighs together.

It was unfair. His hand alone could get me this turned on. Be better.

I felt his body press down on me and he placed a kiss on my cheek. Then my jaw. I held back a smile and shut my eyes again and his hand moved to my throat. With his index, he guided my face to his, and the second I felt his lips graze mine, I sucked in my lips.

My eyes shot open and I shook my head. "Mm-mm." I shook my head no and amusement filled his eyes. The smell of his shampoo and body wash filled my senses and my eyes moved to his wet hair. A bead of water rolled down the side of his face to his neck before disappearing down the canvas of his naked tattooed chest and I cleared my throat.

"What is it?" He asked me and I covered my mouth.

"You've been up. Let me go brush my teeth first." I moved to get up and he pressed himself onto me, pushing me back down on the bed.

"I don't care," he whispered, moving my hand. "Indulge me today."

He pressed a kiss to my lips. A small teasing one that left my body craving for more. He must've known exactly what was on my mind because a small smile graced his mouth before he closed the distance between our lips again.

His kiss was greedy, his cool mouth beckoning an invitation from my own. I parted my lips, happily accepting and he deepened our kiss. What started as something innocent— or as innocent as a kiss with this man could be— blossomed into a wild, passionate...

Wait.

My mind became fuzzy as he shifted between my legs. I felt him hard against me, his large hand rubbing against my thigh. Electricity followed his touch, my skin heating as his fingers teased the thin material of my underwear.

Suddenly, he was everywhere. Warmth flooded through my body as his lips traveled down my neck. I felt the sharp points of his teeth grazing my skin before his plush mouth and tongue brushed away the pain. I waited for him to sink his fangs into my skin- craved it almost as his fingers slipped past the barrier of my panties.

"Syn." My voice was breathless and wanton. Stop.

Don't stop.

I didn't know what I wanted him to do. The lines in my mind blurred as his finger slipped into me. His finger rubbed circles against my clit and I shivered against him.

"So wet," he whispered against my throat. He lifted his head to look at me. "Were you dreaming about me?" His eyes were blood red as he stared down at me.

"Dreaming about you?" I tried to catch my breath as he pushed another finger into me, picking up the rhythm. "I didn't know nearing death could give someone such..." hold it together, "delusions of grandeur."

"I'd think the same as you if it weren't for your sleep-talking last night."

Heat immediately filled my cheeks and a smug grin spread across his face. "I don't sleep talk."

"You don't," he agreed. He kissed my jaw. "But you did last night."

"W-what did I say?"

"Mm. Should I tell you?" He sucked on a sensitive part of my skin and my body shook against him. I was close. A lot closer than I wanted to be considering he was being a dick right now.

"Yes." The pressure built up between my legs, everything beginning to settle at my core, and all of a sudden, he stopped.

Stopped. As if I were going a hundred miles on an open road and suddenly slammed on the breaks. I groaned out in a mix of discomfort and anger as he withdrew his hand.

"Charles." He looked down at me, trapping my body beneath him. "You said Charles. Even if you didn't mention the fucker last night I would've asked what gave your mind the nerve to think about any other man in your sleep."

A sudden realization struck me as he looked at me. His eyes weren't red because of desire. It may have played a part, but they were because of another burning emotion. Anger. Red hot rage.

And...that entire show he put on was to leave me on edge purposely.

I let out a scoff and dropped my head against the pillows as my eyes settled on the ceiling. "You're an asshole."

"I'd watch my mouth if I were you," he said matter of factly. "There are plenty of words in my mind that could describe how I feel about you right now. Yet I've been controlling myself. Practice that same restraint and maybe you and I can have a proper chat."

"A proper chat..." I repeated. "Oh, you're pissed."

"Oh. Beyond it." He pulled himself off of me and sat back, his hands flat against the bed behind him. He blew a breath out as he shut his eyes and rolled his neck.

I let out a bitter laugh and sat myself up. "You are scheduled to die tomorrow night and you're mad that I said someone's name in my sleep. Don't you think we have bigger things to deal with than your misguided jealousy?"

"There is nothing to deal with. Everything is settled," he said. "And we are still in a relationship for as long as I am breathing. Maybe use the time wisely and reassure me. You didn't fucking snore or hog the blankets. You said the name of a man you spent time with last night after telling me you couldn't be near me. Then I see bruises on your skin and you tell me you fed on his soul. I'm angry, I'm jealous, and I have a million questions circling my head right now.

"I've thrown myself into every imaginable thing I could do to distract myself from waking you up and bombarding you with accusations. I've lasted this long and when I couldn't take it anymore, I woke you up. Am I an asshole for not letting you cum? Sure. But I've toned down the asshole a lot since five a.m. and I'd appreciate if you could bring yours down a few hundred notches."

I was stunned into silence by the storm of words he threw my way. I couldn't even fix my mouth to throw a smart remark back his way for calling me an asshole. I did make a mistake last night.

Not with Charles. The asshole deserved it, but for taking my anger out on Syn. I was still upset and I didn't miss the way he said, "Everything is settled", but I was wrong in directing my frustration at everything onto him.

"I-...I am sorry," I admitted.

"So you did dream about another man."

"Not for dream stuff." I tilted my head. "It was a long night and I passed out. I don't remember what I dreamed about let alone what I said in my sleep," I lied. "But I promise, Charles was probably the last thing on my mind."

He only looked at me and I smiled at him. "I would've preferred you waking me up immediately instead of stewing in your anger."

"Noted for next time," he responded, his tone still clipped.

"Next time..." I said softly. "Will there be a next time?"

"I'm sure you'll piss me off again by tomorrow night, so yes. Noted." I laughed at his words and he crossed his arms. I looked down, fidgeting with my fingers and my eye caught on the ring. I didn't remember putting it back on. When I looked up at him in question he rolled his eyes. "I put it back where it belongs. Don't do that shit to me again."

I toyed with the ring between my fingers, guilt eating at me. "I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven." He gave me a nod. "Tell me what happened last night."

I sighed, settling against the headboard before telling him everything. I didn't spare any details. Everything that happened— from the moment I pulled into the gas station and left the man's body in the alley— I told it all. He listened silently, his eyes scanning my face as I spoke and I kept my eyes on my fingers to stay focused.

When I finally looked up at him, our eyes connected. "Before you ask, no. I didn't enjoy it. I felt...disgusted, violated in some type of way?" I said unsure, frustration eating at me. I wanted to explain in a way that he would understand but I didn't understand what happened myself.

I let out a laugh. "I know that doesn't make sense. He didn't force me to do what I did, but I don't know how else to explain it. His memories and thoughts...everything." I ran a hand through my hair. "I had no idea that would happen so it...came as quite the shock."

He looked at me for a moment and I noticed his usual bright green eye color had returned. That was a good sign.

He let out a deep exhale before finally saying, "I'm sorry." I raised my brows in surprise. "I should have told you sooner about the side effects of feeding but...I figured we had more time."

We still could. It's what I wanted to say, but I bit my tongue.

"It's okay. At least I know now. I'll be more careful."

He nodded. "And I'm sorry for what I just did..." He tilted his head and glanced down at my thighs.

I smiled and opened my legs. "You could make that up to me quite easily actually." His eyes snapped up to mine, his orbs suddenly swirling with want. He leaned forward, claiming my lips with a sweet kiss before pulling away and kissing my cheek.

"Later."

Huh.

"W-why later?"

"Because we should spend some time with our son."

Saint? "He's here?" He smiled as my eyes widened. I threw the covers aside and hopped out of the bed. "Why didn't you say anything?!"

"Wow. I don't know whether to be happy or jealous that you're never this happy to see me."

"Where is he?"

"In his bedroom," he whispered mockingly.

I ignored him and headed to the door. It had only been a couple of days since I'd woken up in the hospital and before that, I was in that hell Aidan kept me in. I missed my baby.

"Queen," Syn called out.

I looked over my shoulder at him. "Mm?"

"I want to take you somewhere tonight."

"Like a date?" Or a goodbye. Damn my pessimism.

He nodded. "Something like that. I have a few things to take care of right now. Be ready at seven?"

"Okay."

꧁꧂

The moment I stepped into Saint's bedroom, he ran into my arms. Every worry and bit of tension that had consumed me from yesterday immediately floated away. At least for a few moments as I held him.

I spent the morning in his room with him. We slept in his tiny twin-sized bed and for a brief few hours, it felt like an escape from the reality beyond the door.

That was until that painful reality stepped through the threshold of his bedroom and I woke up to a sight that made my chest splinter into a hundred pieces.

Syn was on his knees at the side of the bed and Saint's small arms were wrapped around his neck in a tight hug. I stayed silent as the tender moment continued but it was Syn that had that pain reverberating in my rib cage.

His shoulders, clad in a dark suit were shaking as he held Saint. Tears stained his handsome face but he wiped them away to hide them from Saint. He pulled away with a smile to look down at our son and I held my breath.

"Why crying?" Saint asked in a small voice, his hand touching a wet spot on Syn's face.

"I missed you," he told him.

"Miss you too," Saint grumbled, looking down at his hands.

"I'm going to be leaving for a while, Saint," Syn told him, looking intently at his small face. I watched Saint lift his head in confusion and a wave of sadness shot through me, immediately watering my eyes.

"Where?"

"Somewhere far," he told him.

"Me too?" He asked Syn.

Syn's smile became strained and I could see the pain behind it. "No, just me."

"I want to go with you."

Syn tilted his head at him. "I want you to come with me too. But if you do, Mommy will be very lonely and sad. We don't want that, do we?"

A tear threatened to spill out at his words and I shut my eyes. My hands fisted the sheet beside my head to keep myself from crying.

"No."

"She needs someone strong and brave to protect her. And you're so so soooo much stronger than me. It needs to be you who stays with her. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Watch over the palace and her, okay? And I will do my best from wherever I am, too." Fuck. I bit the inside of my cheek. "One day when you grow up, you may hear a lot of bad things about me. Some people will tell you your father was a monster and they might try to hurt you for it.

"Never let them, okay? In any type of way. If anyone ever hurts you or does anything that makes you feel weird, you tell Mommy, you hear me?" Saint nodded. "No secrets from her, ever. You two will protect each other, always."

"We protect."

"Exactly." Syn nodded. "No matter what. And don't give her a hard time. You can give everyone else hell, but never her. Are we clear?"

"Yes."

"And never ever ever let mommy love another man. Just you and me."

"Just you and me," Saint repeated and I held back an emotional laugh. Just like him to ask something like that from his son. Asshole.

"Unless he is really really awesome," Syn told him. "If there ever comes a man that is way better than Daddy and he makes her happy, then you can let her be with him."

Saint pouted in question. "Better than Daddy?"

Syn huffed a laugh. "I know, that's what I was thinking too. It's highly unlikely, right? But your mother has horrible discernment so use me as the standard. Except, he must be a little bit ugly."

"Ugly?"

"Umm." Syn clicked his tongue. "A little bit hard to look at." He waved a hand in front of his face to break it down to Saint and I rolled my eyes. "If your mother stares at him for a long time and can smile, he is a bad guy. Send him away immediately."

"Syn, seriously?" I finally spoke up, propping myself up on my elbow.

They both snapped their heads in my direction. "How long have you been awake?"

"Maybe a minute," I lied. "But long enough to hear you tell our son to only allow me to be with an unattractive man."

He raised a brow. "Are you planning to get an attractive man? As I am alive and breathing in front of you— are you planning to find a man more attractive than I am? Because I assure you that search will be a long and uphill battle—"

I laughed. "Syn!"

"Settle for the uglier man," he instructed me.

I laughed out loud again but he was completely serious. Saint must've shared the same sentiment with him because he had the same stone expression his dad did. It silenced me.

"You're not joking."

"I've never been more serious. It is my only wish if you ever plan to marry again," he said. "He must be a little bit ugly. Every time you look at him, I'd like you to feel a void and remember my rugged, devilish, handsomeness and how he dulls in comparison...greatly dulls in comparison.

"I'd like for this future dick head of a man..." he covered Saint's ears. A little too late, "...to feel inadequate every night for the rest of his days as it is my name you moan in your dreams."

My mouth dropped but it didn't stop him at all. "Every man that meets you will have to know me to completely understand you. And if by some miracle there is a man that can accept never fully having your mind and heart— because they will always be mine—love him simply.

"If somehow past the beyond I discover you were granted two great loves in this life— or worse; one more significant than our own— I will find a way to escape that sanctimonious purgatory. And I will haunt you and Mr. Right until the end of your days. Understood?"

I smiled at him. He didn't know it yet, but he wasn't going anywhere. I didn't know exactly how I was going to stop it, but I would. I was sure of that since the moment I woke up, but hearing Saint ask to go with him only cemented it for me. I needed him and even more than that, so did his son. I was done sacrificing and anyone who got in the way of that...well, they wouldn't live long enough to wonder what exactly they'd done to deserve their fates.

I would let my soul turn to black and ashes— my mind spiral into a million different universes before letting him die.

"Look at you..." Syn's voice brought me back to him and I focused on him. "You're already thinking about it."

I laughed a bit. "What?"

"I change my mind." He shook his head. "Don't love simply. Simply, don't. Seal your heart away. Love shallowly— far, wide, and many. Strike monogamy and commitment from your vocabulary immediately."

"Now you're suggesting I hoe around for the rest of eternity."

"Watch your language in front of my son," he told me as he fixed Saint's hair and my mouth dropped. "But yes, precisely."

I nodded. "Got you. Always the part..." I pointed down. "Never the heart." I pat my chest.

He stilled, looking at me with a frozen expression for a long few seconds before blinking a couple of times. Dismay crept into his features and I held back a smile. "Me and my son don't like the person you've chosen to be this morning." I broke out into a laugh and he rose to his feet, taking Saint with him. "Let's go eat breakfast, Saint. We can't speak to her when she gets like this."

I got up from the bed, laughing as I followed behind them. "Get like what? It's the only thing that rhymed! What else could I have said?"

"Nothing, Princess. You could've said nothing instead. Always the part, my ass." He huffed as he walked out the door. "Saying you 'got me' and following it up with bullshit..."

I giggled and wrapped my arms around him from behind as he walked. He muttered a few other words concerning my remark and I rested my cheek against his back. I remained right behind him and he took measured steps forward, careful not to step on my toes with his black Ferragamos.

"Umm." He came to an immediate stop and turned to me. "You are slowing down our journey to nourishment, loser. You expect to come into my dining room wearing nothing but that?" His eyes scanned me head to toe. I looked down with a smile at his shirt that dropped down halfway to my thighs before looking up at him. "Away with you. Find us when you're..." He waved his hand in my general area. "Better."

My mouth dropped as he took a dramatic step back. "Syn, don't play with me. I will stick my good six and a half so far up—"

"Seven," he corrected me with a whisper and my mouth dropped even further than before. He winced before repeating it. "Seven. Not six and a half..."

Wow!

Amusement danced in his eyes as he watched my expression and he stood up straight. He took a few smug footsteps back before lifting Saint's small hand and waving it. "Toodles."

He gave me a wink and before I could even respond, he turned on his heel, smooth as ever in that Armani suit. I smiled as I watched his retreating figure. The moment he turned a corner, a dark realization came to my mind. One that I was already aware of but never had to materialize.

I'd do anything for that man.

꧁꧂