It is ridiculously difficult to pretend to be so confident when you're panicking inside. Sitting in front of the people who ruined my life made me want to go fucking insane, and bash their heads into a wall. The only thing keeping me sane right now was my daughter and alcohol.

Lots and lots of alcohol.

Queen along with everyone at the table waited for me to answer her question but talking to her made me a bit nervous. I hid it well but I was anxious. I hadn't been faced to face with her like this in 10 years.

"Lilith?" She called.

I blinked a few times and plastered a nonchalant smile on my face. "Yes?"

"I asked why God made deals with the both of you for children." She clarified with a frown.

I don't know if it was my nerves or the alcohol but my mind was fuzzy. I took a relaxing breath and sat up in my seat. "The universe needs to be balanced. Somehow, someway it will balance itself either with God's help or a supernatural being.

When Lucifer was created and fell from Heaven, the world tilted on its axis because of his power. So I was created as a balance, his other half if you'd like. But as you all know, Lucy and I weren't very...healthy together. There was no love on my part needed for the balance.

When Syn was born there was another huge shift in the universe and since Lucifer and I weren't together everything went to shit. I don't know if you all remember all those 'natural' disasters that took place after his birth."

"I remember," Genesis whispered. "The whole kingdom went into a lockdown because of the storms and fires."

"And when did it stop?" I asked.

She thought for a moment and looked back at me. "Maybe 5 years later. I'm not sure but it just spontaneously ended."

"That's because Queen was born. She's Syn's 'other half', I hate the word soulmate." I took a sip of my drink as surprise creased everyone's features. I looked to my side to see Syn holding Queen's hand and I shook my head.

She thinks he's so great right now but he's his father's son and I refused to have her go through what I did. I had greater plans for her than to fade into the background of a man.

"You haven't wondered why the man created to feel nothing suddenly does when he meets you?" I asked as Queen stared off into her empty plate. "Even Lucifer couldn't stop nature's plans."

I watched as Queen slowly let go of Syn's hand and cross her arms. He looked just as dumbfounded as she did.

"So you're saying we had no choice?" Queen asked me. Truthfully she did have a choice, just as I did but I didn't want her with Syn.

"You had no choice. This plan was set in motion long before your birth." I lied. They were meant for one another but there was no force making them do anything. I wouldn't tell her that though.

It hurt to see how miserable she looked but this was for the best. Her phone buzzed and she weakly picked it up and looked at it. Her body shook with a slight laugh and she shook her head in Xavier's direction.

"Xavier, how have you been?" I asked cheerfully.

His head snapped up from his phone to me as he looked around the table awkwardly. "I've been okay."

"How are your parents?"

"They left a few years ago." He said with a small smile.

My smile dropped and I held back my confused smile. I had no idea his parents were gone otherwise I wouldn't have brought it up. I always liked Xavier when I met him on my visits to Hell.

I cleared my throat and turned to Xyla. After all my snooping I knew that she was having an affair with Julius, but did I want to bring it up?

I knew about their plans to kill Syn and I didn't want anything to disrupt that. So for now, I would keep that a secret. It'd be fun to mess with them later.

When arriving at this little get-together, I had almost a suitcase full of secrets from this palace. But now I couldn't think of a single one to tell that wouldn't mess up Heaven's plans for Syn. But as soon as Syn was killed, I would get my well-deserved revenge on them.

"So what is Queen, if you're her mother?" Xyla asked.

"There is no 'if'. I am her mother." I said matter of factly.

"You may have brought her into the world, but we have a mother. You can't just come in here after all these years and step into a role you should've remained in."

This bitch is entirely too slow. I opened my mouth to speak but stopped when Queen audibly gasped. "You're kidding me, right? I was taken from her. You act like you guys truly found me in the woods." She scoffed.

I wanted to stand up and give her a round of applause but a smug smile towards the woman had to suffice for now.

"Queen, the circumstances that brought you to me may have been horrible. But you are my child," Jonathan said.

"Did mom know?" Queen asked. I brushed off the pain of hearing her call another woman her mother away and took a sip of the wine.

"No." He shook his head. "She knows what I told her when I took you in. You were a human child found in the woods bordering a kingdom on one of my missions."

"That's a question I have," Queen said. "Why don't I remember anything and why was I human?"

"When you were born, your father and I were always on the run so I spelled you," I admitted.

"Spelled me?"

"Yes. So that on my command you'd forget your father and me. I also made sure you wouldn't have access to your powers. There were people that would love to get their hands on it." I sent a glare to Jonathan.

"Why?" She asked softly. "Why couldn't you just let me remember?"

"Because of the memory I showed you, of them taking you away from me. As they were taking you, I could feel your pain and hear you screaming as I was bleeding out on the floor. I thought I was going to die and I couldn't let you live on like that. So I took away your memories and your pain. As soon as I snapped my fingers, you stopped fighting the guards and you were no longer in agony. It seemed like the right decision." I said.

Queen nodded as if she was engrossed in her thoughts and I looked away.

The table remained quiet for a while as we heard nothing but the steps of the servants in and out of the room.

"Why is Eve such a bitch?" Xavier spoke up.

"Pfft. You're telling me? She killed my husband." I said.

"She killed my best friend," Xavier muttered. "And broke my heart."

I raised my brow in question but decided not to push for details. "No worries. I plan on tracking her down and killing the fuck out of her." I grinned at him.

"I'd like to help." He said dryly.

I shook my head softly and sat back in my seat. When I looked up I saw Lucifer looking at me blankly and I raised my brow at him.

I know everything I told him just hurt him but it was the truth. I wanted to love him, I did but I just couldn't. I was God's cruel joke on him.

"Anyways. I need to go," I said as I moved my chair back.

Queen frowned and turned to me. "You've only been here for like twenty minutes."

"And I thought you were going to be spilling secrets," Syn drawled, rolling his eyes.

"I was going to. But I've decided to keep them until further notice. Besides I should let you all...digest what I've said."

"The party hasn't even started," Julius spoke up.

"Eh, I had fun," I said with a shrug.

"So I prepared this all for nothing?" Julius asked. I wanted to tell him to shut up and take care of his too close for comfort soon to be daughter in law.

Patience Lilith.

"It wasn't for nothing. I came, didn't I? That's not nothing."

Julius shook his head and I sighed. Everyone at the table looked annoyed and I saw Xyla send a condescending smirk Queen's way. She was one of the only ones who hadn't been affected by what I revealed tonight and that wouldn't do. I couldn't tell the whole truth but I could create a bit of a stir.

"Felix," I called.

He looked up at me with a raised brow and I couldn't ignore the way he looked at my body.

What a pig.

"You're not the only SinClaire she's sleeping with." Xyla's mouth dropped as panic struck her face and I was secretly hoping that Queen was sending her a bitchy smirk as well. But knowing her, she wasn't.

"Xyla, what is she talking about?" Felix spat. When she didn't answer he looked up at me. "What the hell do you mean?!"

"Calm down. Anyway, I'll be leaving now, I just didn't want to leave anyone hanging." I said.

Xyla gawked at me and pointed to Genesis. "You revealed nothing about her!"

She was surprisingly good at deflecting, but I had a feeling she wouldn't be able to get out of this situation so easily.

I sighed and looked at Xyla. "She has enough on her plate with having to deal with the fact that her "boyfriend" of fifteen years is still in love with me."Lucifer scoffed and shook his head as Genesis looked at him with watery eyes.

"You should be denying that, Lucy," I said teasingly. I knew he may not have been in love with me at this very moment, but there was still something there. Some remnants of feelings that this fucked up universe hasn't wiped away.

He looked up at me and rolled his eyes. "I'm not in love with you."

"Right," I said with a disbelieving nod. "I'll be seeing you all soon. I hope you all have a killer wedding." I teased. Xyla and her father along with Felix tensed at my words and I pivoted on my heels to the door.

Throwing my head over my shoulder, I looked to Queen. "Walk me out?"

She nodded and immediately stood up, scurrying to my side. We walked out of the large room together and commenced the long walk to the front door. I glanced at her, waiting for her to say something but she seemed absorbed in her thoughts.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

"Everything." She admitted softly.

"I see." I nodded.

She turned to me. "Why didn't you kill Jonathan?"

"I will, eventually. He's just valuable to me right now." I said slowly. "Do you want me to kill him?"

"I don't know," she muttered.

"Let him live a bit longer, little one." We walked in silence for a few minutes and I bit the inside of my cheek nervously. "Your father would be proud of you."

"Really?"

"Yes, especially with the way you handled Mia," I replied.

"You saw that?" She said with a grimace.

"Of course, I was going to step in eventually but you handled it. Like a Queen." I joked.

She smiled at me and shook her head. "I have another question." I nodded, urging her to ask. "Why did my powers come back but not my memories?"

I sighed. "Your powers were never gone, they were more so hidden. I lifted the spell when we held hands in the bathroom."

"Oh that makes sense...sort of I guess," she said quietly. "And the memories?"

"I'm afraid those are all gone, my love," I said with a sad smile.

"Then how did you show me?"

She was a smart girl, always seemed to ask the right questions and I was beyond proud of that.

"Those were my memories," I said.

"But you weren't in the memory of the school..." She whispered in confusion. I held my breath hoping that she wouldn't ask me about it. There was no way I could come up with a lie that quickly. "So how did I see that?"

"I'll explain one day," I deflected.

She nodded slowly and clasped her hands together with a sigh as we neared the front doors. "I have more questions."

I turned to her and smiled. "There is time to answer them all. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon." I took a step to the door.

She gently grabbed my arm. "You must have a phone number, right?"

I held out my hand for her phone and she clumsily pulled it out of her bra and sent me an apologetic look. I laughed softly and typed in my number and passed it back to her.

"Goodbye, Queen."

"Wait!"

I turned back to her and watched as she quickly removed her heels.

"You don't have to," I said humorously.

She let out a deep breath and moved her hair out of her face as she held them out to me. "It's only fair, right?"

With a smile, I gently took them from her and shook my head. "It is."

I turned for the door once again but she grabbed my arm. "Sorry...umm-"

I raised my brow for her to finish but she just looked at me for a moment before wrapping her arms around me. I froze in shock and blinked away the tears threatening to fall and hugged her back. I'd been waiting for this moment for so long and it was better than I could've imagined.

"Sorry," she mumbled as she pulled away.

I collected myself and plastered on my usual unfazed smile. "Bye, Queen." I stingily moved towards the door and tore my vision away from her.

"Bye Lilith."