I adjusted my shades and took a deep inhale of the sweet scent filling the air around me. No matter how shitty I felt, I could come here and forget about all of my problems...even if it was temporary. Syn knew that and took it upon himself to take us all even though there was a set nauseous expression on his beautiful face.

"Are you going to throw up again?" I looked up at him, snapping his attention away from James and Ethan who were running to every attraction within distance.

"Hmm?"

"You look sick."

"I am." He took a deep breath, stretching his arms over his head. "You are the universe's ultimate 'fuck you' to me. I can't have a normal girlfriend that likes to knit and make bracelets at home. Instead, I have a woman that likes to get on machines that bring her to the brink of death as she listens to the sounds of screams in the distance."

"You're so dramatic." I laughed. "At least I'm not making you get on anything, right? I've grown."

He gave me a slow half hearted nod before glancing back at the boys and I furrowed my brows. The sudden mood change made me question all the words I had just said, but I still couldn't find anything wrong.

"What is it?"

He looked down at me. "What?"

"You just did a complete one eighty. Is something wrong?...If I offended you I'm sorry...?"

"You've done nothing wrong."

"Then what is it?"

He sighed, glancing around the crowded amusement park and I kept my eyes glued to him. After our talk a few days ago, I wouldn't think he'd be guarded so soon. "I can't help but feel as though I'm holding you back."

I frowned, tilting my head in thought. What is he talking about? "From what? The rides?"

"Well, that's one thing," he admitted. "We've been here for almost three hours and you've gotten on nothing."

"Because I want to stay with you."

"Yes, I know that...but for fucks sakes you haven't even glanced at any of the sweets," he added before pointing at a cotton candy vendor nearby. "I know you want that. Would you like me to get it for you?" He began walking toward it and I pulled his arm to stop him.

Whatever was going on with him felt deeper than getting me cotton candy. "Syn, it's fine. I don't want it."

"Because of me?"

"Well, sort of..." I shrugged. "I don't want to eat it and have you throw up if you kiss me." I let out a small laugh and he remained unperturbed, making me purse my lips in frustration. "What's going on, Syn? Are you really concerned about holding me back from rides and cotton candy?"

He blew out a long breath before taking my hand and leading us to the merry go round where Ethan and James were screaming their heads off. He sat down on a bench in front of it before looking up at me and patting the space beside him. "Sit." I did as he said and crossed my legs, patiently waiting for him to continue. He placed his forearms on his legs, staring down at the floor before glancing at me. "Are you happy?"

I raised a brow in surprise. "In general or with you?"

"Are they different answers?" I shrugged in response. "Then give me separate answers."

"I'm extremely happy with you," I admitted with a smile. "However, there are just things going on that just- I'm not happy...generally speaking, I guess. If that makes sense..." He nodded slowly, taking in my answer and I bumped his shoulder. "Why do you ask?"

"Are you not happy because of what I told you about your parents?"

"Well, of course."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?" I questioned in defense. He opened his mouth to speak and I held up a finger to stop him. "Because they're my family and they've been lying to me for a very long time." He began to speak again and I interrupted him over again, guessing his next question. "People get sad when people they love lie to them. As dysfunctional as we are, I love my family...so it all hurts."

"Okay." He nodded.

"Okay?"

"You'll be okay."

"How do you know?"

"You have me."

"And thank God for that." I let out a breath of relief. My skin tingled as I felt eyes on me and I turned to see Syn shooting death glares at me. When I realized what I had said, I burst into laughter and wrapped my arms around him. "It's habit, I'm sorry! That's like routine in Heaven. I'll try not to say it again."

"Do that," he mumbled.

I rested my chin on his shoulder and studied him as he stared off into space. Ugh! I never thought I'd be the type to fall for the silent and brooding type, but here I was. His entire personality was centered around being an enigma to me. I only knew the details about him that he revealed.

"Why are you staring at me?" He asked, his eyes aimed straight ahead.

"Because you're pretty."

His eyes connected with mine and I was thankful for the sunglasses covering mine. He had a way of putting me into a trance by just looking at me, and I needed to keep my wits before he managed to completely change the subject of our conversation. "Anyways..." I cleared my throat, sitting up before I was tempted to kiss him. "Finish what you were saying- about holding me back?"

He sighed. "I just want you to do everything you want to do."

"What do you mean?"

"Your hobbies, dreams, aspirations..." he listed, "I want that all for you plus more. So far, it seems like I'm blocking those things."

"How?" I asked. "It's just a carnival, Syn. I know I like them, but I wouldn't say-"

"I'm talking about your job."

"My job?"

"The one you quit because of me."

"That was my decision, Syn. I wanted to do that."

"Then you're telling me you would've quit had I not been your assignment?" I was at a loss for words and I toyed with the hem of my dress. I wouldn't have quit had I not met him...but I didn't regret anything at all. This- he was what I wanted. "You know I'm right, Queen."

"But I'm happy, Syn. Happier than I was doing that."

"So then what do you want to do now?"

"What?"

"What do you want to do now? What's the goal?"

I frowned and stared down at the floor. "Umm, I don't know. I'll figure something out."

"You went to school for journalism, Queen."

"How do you know that?"

"It doesn't matter." He waved his hand. "What matters is that was your passion. Your resume is proof enough of how badly you wanted that job, I mean...you were so close to being promoted and you just left. Why?"

Because I love you, dumbass.

"Does it matter?"

"To me, yes."

I slouched my shoulders and let out a sad sigh. "I've never really made decisions for myself. For as long as I could remember, everything in my life was chosen for me so much so that I didn't have a passion for anything. I just listened to my mother and father. I thought that if I didn't, they'd give me up or something." My eyes watered as I thought back to that irrational fear and I took a shaky breath. "I did everything they told me to do without question and just hoped that when I was old enough, I'd be able to go out on my own.

"Then I met Sebastian and he became the one that I took orders from. His uncle was a friend of my parents' so they heavily urged us to be together. With all the outside influence, I managed to convince myself that I did love him...so I changed myself to be someone that he could love back.

"His hobbies became mine. His likes and dislikes were my own and with every move he took, I was right there. He wanted to be a journalist and I wanted to be with him so badly that I threw myself into that goal. Don't get me wrong though, I love writing...but I would've never gotten into it had he not wanted me to.

"After Sebastian, it was Justin and you already know how that went. He loved controlling every aspect of my life and I didn't really have much of a choice, but to let him." I shook my head. "Looking back at it now, I could've fought harder to get out of all these situations but it's harder when you're in it, you know?"

He nodded.

"I hated who I was when I was following everyone else's wishes, but I dealt with it because it was...comfortable, in a way. At least until something insane happened to me and made me question every single thing in my life."

"What happened?"

"You. I met you." I smiled. "You were this untouchable, magnanimous being that no one dared tell what to do and I thought that was so cool. In your presence, even though you were a dick...I felt an ounce of that invincibility you possess. So when my boss pushed me to do shit I didn't want to do...I made the decision myself to leave- with a little push from my mother of course, but still. It was the best decision I ever made. You telling me you're holding me back from things I want to do is the farthest thing from the truth. Believe it or not, you give me a lot of strength.

"...I may seem lost right now, but it feels good. Especially with you." I glanced at Syn to see his brows raised in surprise, and I immediately looked away from him. "You look like I just blew your mind. Have I lost you?"

"I-I umm no," he stuttered. "I'm with you."

"Okay," I whispered. "Stop looking at me like that, Syn."

"I'm not sure I can," he whispered. I furrowed my brows, preparing to ask him what he meant, but a small hand tugging at mine took my attention away from Syn.

"Can we go on the bumper cars?!" James squealed as he pointed to a tent to the left of us. "Please!" Him and Ethan clasped their hands together to beg us and I glanced at Syn who seemed to be awaiting my response with them.

"Do you think you can manage that?" I teased him.

"I drive all the time." He rolled his eyes. "It's not a matter of not being capable of doing so with a miniature car...it's whether or not I can fit in said car. Let's go."

Syn somehow managed to stuff himself into a red bumper car and made it his mission to keep me stuck to a wall with repeated bumps. It was clear that he was amused by my frustration, but I was able to get my revenge when a six year old girl in a pink race car decorated bumper car pushed him away from me. If I could've captured his face in that moment, I would've been the happiest person alive.

My freedom of course was short lived because as soon as I got the upper hand and trapped him as he did me, he used his powers to free himself. Of course, I didn't expect him to play fair, but I didn't think he'd be so competitive.

I laughed as I walked out of the large tent and Syn swung Ethan and James before placing them down and taking my hand into his. "Having fun?"

"Mhmm." I nodded. I raised myself on my tip toes and gave him a kiss on his jaw, ignoring the mock throw up sounds of the boys.

"Eww, cooties," James said, his small face scrunched in disgust along with Ethan's.

"Cooties are fun," Syn said to them, making me nudge his side. "...at the right age, of course." I nudged him once again and he rolled his eyes. "...with the right person," he muttered. "Happy?"

"Very." I beamed up at him. Syn kissed the top of my head and I leaned against him as a yawn made its way out of my mouth.

"Tired?"

"A little bit."

"We should head back then. It's getting late anyway."

"Can we go on one more?" Ethan begged.

"Please?" James added as they looked up at us.

"Don't give in," Syn said to me.

I would've taken his advice, but as they stared up at me with their big eyes, I couldn't deny them. I could hold on for one more ride. "One more isn't going to hurt." They began cheering and Syn shook his head at me. "What? Would you have said no to them?"

"Don't worry about all that."

"Ferris wheel!" James said. We nodded and they both ran together to the ride, leaving Syn and I to walk after them. They got into the tiny designated cart the attendant held out for them and Syn and I watched from the floor. I looked around to see us lost in a small crowd of people waiting for the ride to finish and Syn wrapped his arms around me as if one of them would try and snatch me.

"Are you alright?"

"Mhmm." I smiled. "I-" My phone rang in my purse, stopping my sentence prematurely and I pulled it out to see my father's name flashing across the screen. I rolled my eyes, declining the call before placing it back in my bag. After what Syn told me, I hadn't talked to any of my family...it was just too soon. It was an understatement to say I was pissed at them.

Rightfully so...if I do say so myself.

"Still not talking to them?"

I sighed and shook my head, avoiding eye contact with him. He must've thought I was being childish after all these days of dodging calls, but I wasn't ready. I loved them, but how could I talk to them knowing everything.

Syn took his eyes off of me and looked up at the Ferris Wheel Ethan and James were riding. Every time James came down he waved enthusiastically at Syn and Syn waved back.

"Are you going ignore them forever?" He asked, waving at James. When he dropped his arm he looked back down at me and raised his brow for my reply.

"Maybe."

He moved me in front of him and laid his chin on top of my head as we waited for the ride to finish. The already loud carnival was now accompanied by the screaming children on the slow ride. It was crazy to me, but I suppose if I was that small I'd find it exciting too.

Syn and I were trapped in a sea of parents I only noticed now as they laughed and took pictures of their kids. One parent was hysterical about letting it be known who her child was to each and every single person and I cringed. By the time she got to Syn and me, we already knew who her kid was, but we remained amicable.

"Hi, I'm Amanda!" She yelled as she held her hand out.

Syn kept his arms around me not even attempting to greet her and I rolled my eyes at him before greeting her. "Queen." I shook her outstretched hand.

She smiled at us and set her hands on her hips. "You two are a beautiful couple." She sighed. "Young love is truly amazing."

I tried to remain neutral and keep a smile on my face at her words, but the mention of love when Syn was right beside me made me panic. I had no idea how I managed to keep it together in his arms.

She began giving us relationship advice that I hardly listened to and Syn seemed to be getting irritated. "You two should cherish one another, you know?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"My husband and I have been together almost one hundred years."

Yikes. The thought of being with anyone that long was unfathomable to me. When I thought I was human I didn't have to worry about that, but now I had no idea...Syn didn't really seem like the long-term type. Or maybe he was? I don't fucking know.

"Wow. Long time," Syn muttered.

She looked up at him and surprise registered her features along with shock. She stepped back while plastering a smile on her face and looking around in a sudden rush. "I should get back to my family."

"Do that," Syn said. I laughed softly at her reaction to Syn and shook my head.

"Well, I guess your reputation precedes you."

"Sometimes." He shrugged.

"All the time."

"Hmm, that didn't seem to stop you...now did it, Princess?"

"Sure, but I used to be terrified of you."

"Really?"

Come on, now.

"Um, of course. You know I was."

He looked up as if he was thinking and then looked back down at me. "Okay, maybe I did. But if you were so scared then why did you kiss me that night? If I remember correctly, you're the one who made the first move on me."

I rolled my eyes and gave him a shy smile. "You looked like you had soft lips," I teased.

"So you would've kissed anyone who you fell on top of with soft lips?"

I shrugged and smirked at him. "I'll let you kno-"

"Don't finish that sentence," he threatened, making me laugh out loud.

"I'm joking. I was just really attracted to you."

"Hmm, then I was right to trip you." He licked his lips.

"What do you mean trip me?"

"You didn't fall on me by accident that night."

My mouth dropped and I let out a small scoff. "Are you serious?"

"Yes. I woke up as soon as you opened the door to your room and I saw you trying to walk in the dark."

"That's so embarrassing." I covered my face.

"Yeah, it is." I shoved him playfully and he wrapped his arms around my waist tighter. "That's mean though, you could've just asked me out like a normal person."

"That's boring," he said dryly. "Plus, I liked what we did that night a lot more."

My cheeks heated and I shook my head. He removed his arms from around me and looked back to the ride, watching it slow down. "It's almost over," he said as he put his shades back on.

"You kind of look like an asshole, wearing sunglasses at night."

"You're wearing them too." His head moved in my direction. "Don't be upset that I look cooler."

He looked a lot more than cool, he looked ridiculously hot. I almost found myself wanting to fight off all the women that were ogling him tonight. He was wearing a simple black t-shirt with matching jeans but he was drool-worthy.

"You look okay. Not great though." I joked, adjusting my own shades and moving my hair over my shoulders.

His head move up and down my body and he took a step toward me. "Well, you look amazing, Princess. This dress is driving me insane."

I laid a hand on his chest before he could touch me and shook my head. "Control yourself, Mr. SinClaire. This is not the time nor the place."

Suddenly, I felt small arms attack my waist and I looked down to see James and Ethan hugging me. "Did you guys have fun?"

"Yes!"

"Are you guys ready to go home?" Syn asked. I admittedly was ready as well. We had been here all day and my legs were tired as fuck.

"One more, please?" James asked as they both clasped their hands together once again and looked at us pleadingly.

With a sigh, I glanced at Syn and he looked at me as if to ask for permission and I shrugged. "One more."

꧁꧂

When we got to the palace, James and Ethan were already asleep in his arms. I helped him take them into their rooms and when we were done we walked to ours. As soon as I stepped into the room I took my shoes off and threw myself onto the bed. I watched Syn with a smile as he picked up my clattered heels and disappeared into the closet.

I turned onto my stomach and groaned into the sheets as my body finally got its well deserved rest. I heard Syn's footsteps and a moment later I felt the bed sink next to me.
His hand reached for me and the next thing I knew, I was on top of his straddling his hips. My dress rode up on the sides and I bit my lips as my hands traced down his bare chest.

His suggestive and dark green eyes looked up at me as his calloused hands glided across my thighs. I leaned down to kiss him, but before I could, my phone rang and I let myself drop down to his chest with a groan. "Ughh." Syn reached for it seeing as I wasn't moving and held it up.

"Who is it?" I muttered.

"My mother."

I let out a sigh of relief that it wasn't my father and sat up. He had been calling nonstop. "Here." I said as I held out my phone. I didn't tell her I was back in the palace yet, but I suppose news traveled quickly. Especially since her and Xavier liked to gossip. "Hello?" I said as I sat up on Syn. He looked at me with curious eyes and I smiled at him.

"Hey. Syn is with you, right?"

"Yes."

"I've been trying to call him, but he isn't picking up."

Syn rolled his eyes and I laughed. "He's having trouble with his new phone. He's really not as tech savvy as I would've thought." At my words, he rolled his eyes at me and slapped my leg.

"Can he hear me right now?"

"Yes, he can."

"Okay, this is news for the both of you. Tomorrow your father is coming to speak about the treaty. He knows everything and I have no idea how. He knows about Felix and Xyla's relationship-"

"Shit," Syn muttered as he laid his arm over his eyes.

"That's not all. Xyla told your father about you and Syn...he's pissed."

No wonder he'd been trying to reach me. A part of me was anxious that he knew, but the greater part of me didn't care. It was none of their business considering they'd been lying to me since forever.

"Thanks, Gen. We'll see you tomorrow." I hung up the phone and I sighed as I looked down at Syn. "Well, what now?"

"Now nothing. Nothing is going to change between us." He said as he ran his hand along my leg.

"I meant with you. What if they don't want you to marry Xyla? You wouldn't be able to get to Heaven or the throne."

With a sigh, he sat up and wrapped his arms around me. I looked away from his gaze nervously and he moved my head back to face him.

"Don't worry about me. If that's the case I'll figure something out."