Queen waited for me patiently as I tried to think about what I was trying to say. What was I even trying to say? I'd just been so absorbed in her tonight that I didn't think before I said anything.

After today I just felt a lot more connected to her than I previously was. I didn't think that was even possible, but here I was.

"Nothing," I said.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yeah, I don't know what I was trying to say."

She nodded and turned her head back to the water. I leaned my head against the edge of the tub and let out a loud sigh. I couldn't get what Xavier had said earlier off my mind.

You're in love with her.

I didn't know if that was what I felt for Queen at all. It almost felt too compact to describe what I felt. How could I fit all that into such a small word? Love.

Love was an excuse people used to treat a person like shit. It remained stupid to me regardless of Xavier's words. Even if I knew my feelings for Queen I would never tell her I loved her.

She deserved more than that.

But then again maybe I was wrong and love didn't mean what I thought at all. I wasn't sure of anything anymore...I was only sure I needed to be with her and I've never needed anything before.

"Can we talk?" She whispered.

"About?"

"Everything." She peered up at me. "What I did was wrong, and I'm sorry that I lied to you. I know you probably don't believe me, but everything between us is real to me...It may have started out as I lie but I..."

When she didn't continue, I raised a brow. "You what?"

She cleared her throat and turned away from me. "I umm- like...well- I started liking you."

Just "liking" me?

"Is that all?"

Her eyes widened as she plastered a nervous smile on her face. "Is what all?"

Why are you so nervous?

"Is that all you have to say?" I said, putting her out of her misery.

"Oh umm, yes- actually no," she said, looking back up at me. "These past few weeks have been horrible, and although I hope you missed me even a fraction of how much I missed you...I hope you weren't miserable. After everything that happened, I'm wishing that I was the only one that had to feel...like that...I know I'm not making sense."

"You're making sense." I nodded. "And unfortunately for you, no. You weren't the only one who felt that way. I missed you and regretted every single word I had said to you in the treehouse that night. I don't even know how you're here with me after all of that."

"I deserved it..."

"You didn't." My eyes held hers and I watched as she sucked in a shaky breath before looking back down. Even if she didn't say it, I knew that my words would forever pass through her mind when she thought back to that night. I couldn't exactly take it away from her memory, but I hoped that with time I could perhaps replace them with better ones. "It's okay. You were upset."

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Excuse my actions because you hurt me as well. We will never have a we're even situation. I fucked up, Princess. You can hold me accountable...I'm not going anywhere." A tear fell down her cheek and I wiped it away. "No matter how mad I am at you...never just let me hurt you. You deserve better than that."

She nodded before wiping her eyes and taking a deep breath. "It hurt, but I want to move past it. I forgive you, Syn."

"Are you sure?" I asked. "If you want, you can forget about it now, but be mad about it in a few months when we argue about something with no correlation to this..."

"I think that's what I'll do." She laughed softly. "Thank you."
I pulled her against my chest and she relaxed in my hold. The events of the past couple of weeks seemed to float away as the calming sound of her steady heartbeat filled my ears.

"When's your birthday?" She asked randomly.

I lifted my head from the bath and looked down at her to see her looking at me curiously.
"October 31st."

She laughed and shook her head. "Your birthday is on Halloween?"

"No. Halloween is on my birthday," I corrected and she nodded in fake understanding.

"Ah, I got you. Did your parents do that on purpose?"

"I'd really hope not." I cringed at the thought. It disgusted me enough to think about them kissing, imagining my conception was even worse.

"When's Lucifer's birthday?" She questioned.

"He forgot," I admitted.

"How do you forget your birthday?" she exclaimed.

"He's been here forever. I'd forget too."

"Good point." She nodded.

We returned to our tranquil quiet and a nagging thought surfaced into my head, making me sigh. "Im going to make mistakes."

"What?"

"Me," I said, looking at her. "Im the furthest thing from perfect and I'm not a good guy Queen. You saw a glimpse of who I could be to you...I can't change that. I get...angry and it's not an excuse for anything, but it's the truth. Im sure Sebastian would take anger management to appease you and sure, Caspian did it for Cleo, but if you expect me to sit in a room with a bunch of punching maniacs-"

"Syn..." She touched my arm. "Relax. I couldn't see you sitting through an anger management class either." She smiled, laying a kiss on my jaw. "I wouldn't ask you to change, but if you ever hurt me just know that I won't stay."

"Is that a threat?" I whispered.

"No." She shook her head as she stared into my eyes. "But you did say I deserved better, no?"

"Mhmm, but I will terrorize any other man that-" she began laughing at my seriousness and I clicked my tongue. The thought of never being able to be with her like this was worse than thinking about sitting through stupid classes. I'd still never do it, but it was clear that I needed to work shit out. "I'll try my best to not be an asshole from this moment on...but I need something from you."

"What?"

"Transparency," I replied. "I want to know you better than anyone else in the world."

"Really?" She asked. "I thought mystery kept the romance alive?"

"I'm hoping that it's a coincidence and you didn't just quote that damn book," I muttered. She laughed and I shook my head before continuing. "Fuck mystery. I want to know you so well that I can almost read your goddamn mind. I don't want secrets...I want everything beyond that. Your thoughts, the lies you tell other people, guilty pleasures...I want to be one. That's what I want."

"I'm sure there's a spell out there that could mold us together if that's what you mean," she joked.

"You know what I mean."

"I do." She nodded. "But you realize a relationship like that requires the both of us to be vulnerable. It wouldn't be fair if I was the visible one while you remained guarded..."

"Ugh." I groaned.

"Is that such a horrible thought?" She asked, removing herself from my arms and turning to face me completely. "Hmm? Being open to me...does it sound that bad?"

"Being open to anyone sounds like a death-wish," I grumbled. Why did things always have to be two sided when it came to these things?

"So how can you ask me to do it solo?" She frowned. "If you're going to keep secrets and have all of these walls up, it's only fair that I do the same."

Shit.

As if I were seeing it right before me, her expression changed to a guarded one as she moved back to her previous position across from me. This wasn't what I wanted. It was far from it. Her words repeating in my head brought back the harsh reminder of all the things I was being dishonest about.

I hated that I needed to tell her, but if I didn't, any conversation we had about us would remain conversation. Senseless and empty words floating in the air because everything would be built on lies- which I didn't mind in general with anyone else. But I wanted something with her, as infuriating as she was.

"Okay." I nodded. "You're right. From the moment we met, you were always the easy one to read. Sure, I didn't know every detail, but I could sense things about you that you didn't even know."

"What do you mean?"

"Just as you chose me for all of my faults...I chose you as well. Yours may not have been broadcasted all over the media and Heaven's news...but there was something I noticed that made me gravitate towards you," I said. "In a way, I felt you and I were similar."

"Similar how?"

"It's going to sound crazy to you."

"Try me."

"I thought you were evil. But in a good way...well not a good way but..."

"Why did you think I was evil?" She asked as she laughed.

"I don't know, but the feeling remained with me to the point where I believed you weren't human."

"Is that why you gave me the necklace? To check?" She asked as a hurt look passed her features and she moved away from me.

"No, I gave it to you so that you could protect yourself if you ever needed to. It not killing you was a bonus that confirmed my thoughts."

Her mouth dropped and her eyes widened. "What if I was human and I died?"

"The necklace would've resurrected you. It would've taken all my abilities away from me to do so, but you would've come back."

She held the necklace in her hand and looked at me blankly for a few moments. Her lip began quivering and she looked up at me. "You were willing to risk that?"

Was I? I didn't truly think about that part while I spelled the necklace, but I guess a part of me knew to add the resurrection spell to it. If me having to live as a normal demon meant she would stay alive, I'd do it.

"Yes," I said slowly.

She turned and crawled towards me in the tub and brought her lips to mine. I kissed her back tenderly and she pulled away from me with a smile. "That's sweet, in a weird way."

"Be my girlfriend again," I said. She tried to conceal a smile and tilted her head at me. Before she could say anything I cupped her cheeks, making her purse her lips adorably. I laid my forehead against hers and took a deep breath. "We'll be good."

"Okay." She whispered. "No more secrets, right?"

I slowly let go of her and sat back. "No, there are still some things I need to tell you."

Her shoulders slumped down and she scoffed. "Seriously?"

"You want me to let my guard down so I'm about to tell you everything, Queen. Just promise me something," I requested.

She reluctantly looked back at me and sighed. "What?"

"Promise me that you won't leave me."

"Is it that bad?" She gawked.

"It is, but a lot of it has...changed. You'll just be a bit upset maybe, or at least I'm hoping," I replied in an unsure voice.

She rubbed her head and nodded. "I promise."

"Okay." I took her hand in mine and she positioned herself across me. "Your father and Xyla aren't angels."

She shook her head and looked at me like I was crazy. "What are you talking about?"

"Lucifer told me that he made a deal with her father a few decades ago to become an Angel in exchange for something."

I painfully watched as Queen's face dropped in color. This was going to be a horrible conversation but it needed to happen. "What are they then?" She asked in confusion as her eyes watered.

"Low rank demons." I replied. She closed her eyes sadly and sniffled as her tears fell. I reached out to wipe them and sighed. "We'll deal with it, Princess."

She shook her head and used her free hand to wipe her tears and looked back at me. "They've been lying to me my whole life, Syn. How do we deal with that?"

"We just will. I promise," I urged sincerely.

She nodded and took a deep breath. "Next."

"The true reason I needed to marry Xyla is that I planned on taking over Heaven."

She shrugged and shook her head. "That one isn't that bad, I guess. You both have reasons."

"The way I planned to take over is by killing your parents," I spilled.

Her eyes widened as she tried to remove her hand from mine, but I held it firmly. "What the hell, Syn!"

"Relax, that was the plan before I met you," I assured. She calmed down a bit but remained apprehensive.

"What's the plan now?" She asked dryly. I rolled my eyes at her tone but I needed to ignore it. I couldn't be surprised that she was pissed.

"I'm still planning on taking over Heaven, and I still plan on marrying Xyla. I'm just not going to kill them." I admitted.

She looked at me blankly and shook her head in disappointment. "You think they'd just give up their kingdom?"

"I'm going to blackmail them."

"Are you fucking serious?!" She hissed.

"Yes."

"What makes you think I won't go and tell them what you're planning?!"

"Because you hate liars. And they've been lying to you for a decade now about who they really are," I said. "I'm telling you the truth at least." She remained quiet as she looked away from me and I took her other hand into mine as well.
"Your father cares more about money and power than he does about you. He would've let you marry a rapist for money."

She closed her eyes and when she opened them I saw nothing but sadness and anger.

"Please don't defend him after that," I begged. "I'm not asking you to hurt them, but he needs to be stripped of power anyways." Queen looked at me for a long moment and nodded slowly. "Also if they stepped down, I could divorce Xyla. Then you could be my Queen." She raised her brows at my words and I shook my head. Why did I say that? "Only if you wanted to?"

She laughed softly and rolled her eyes. "What else is there?"
I ignored the pain in my chest as she ignored my question. I don't know why I said it but I wasn't expecting that reaction.

"I believe that's all. If I remember anything else, I'll tell you." She took this a lot better than I thought she was, but a part of me knew she was burying it in front of me. Eventually, she would snap, but I'd be here to pick up the pieces of whatever she did.

She squinted her eyes at me and held up her pinky finger. "Promise?"

No...

There was one more secret and that was the one about her mother. I'd have to take that one to the grave no matter what.

"I promise," I lied as I wrapped my finger around hers.

"Put it on something," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean like put something on the line. Like some people will say. 'I swear on my life'. They basically say something that's super important to them that they can't stand losing," she explained.

I thought for a long moment as it dawned on me what she meant and I looked her directly in the eyes. We looked at one another seriously with our fingers locked and I nodded.

"I swear on your life," I said, ignoring the tinge of guilt hitting my gut.

A slow smile spread across her lips and she moved towards me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Not how it works, but that was adorable."

"Too bad." I kissed her and pulled her to me as her laugh went muffled onto my lips. I moved my hands to her hips and she moved to straddle my lap. Water splattered onto the floor at our movements and she glanced at it.

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

She looked down at me and bit her lip. She looked nervous about something but I couldn't figure it out. "What is it?"

"Do you remember when I promised to never leave you?"

"Yes."

"Can you promise the same to me?"

"I've already promised you that."

"But after what I did today and now with not knowing what I am...You promised when we thought I was human and I didn't...kill anyone."

"No." I caressed her cheek. "When I promised you that, I didn't know what you were and I didn't care. Same as now. Today you killed people that were hurting you...trust me when I say I've killed people for less."

She smiled as her eyes watered again. "So you're stuck with me, is what you're saying?"

"I'm as stuck with you as you are with me, Princess."