I looked blankly at the movie on the plasma television as I wiped my tears with another tissue. It felt like being able to cry without anyone around. When I first got here, I wanted to do the whole shebang with the wine and bubble bath as mascara streamed down my face, but I started sobbing as soon as my toe hit the water. It reminded me of the bath I took with Syn a while back.

With that painful reminder whenever I so much as glanced at the bathtub, I opted for staying in bed for three days straight and ordering God knows how many boxes of pizza. I lost count of exactly how much I had, but it was enough to make a girl feel a bit pudgier in all the wrong places.

To the rest of the world, I had practically ghosted. My phone was on silent. I spoke to no one. I wasn't mad at anybody and it wasn't fair to do, but I needed to be alone. Completely alone. I promised myself five days of complete solitude and then after that, I'd return to the real world and apologize to everyone for being such an anti-social bitch.

The hotel phone began ringing and I frowned. No one knew I was here. I picked it up and held it to my ear hesitantly. "Hello?"

"Ms. Beverly, sorry to bother you but there is a guest asking for you."

"What's their name?"

"Just a second," the cheery voice said. "Sebastian Kingston."

"Sebastian?"

"Yes, shall I send him up?"

"Umm," I took a quick glance around the messy room and winced. "Sure, go ahead." I hung up the phone and sprung up from the bed. I wasn't presentable. This room wasn't presentable. I couldn't fix everything by the time he got here but I needed to not look like a complete slob.

I threw away the random tissues near me and tossed the boxes of pizza in the bathroom trash- well as much as could fit. I hid the bags of snacks under the bed and sprinted to the bathroom to wash my face. My eyes were puffy from all of my crying and I had huge eye bags from my lack of sleep. I looked horrible, but I didn't have time to do a full face of makeup, nor did I feel like it. I washed my face and wiped it before heading back into the room and pacing.

I hadn't seen him since the auction night- since he saw Syn and I kiss. We hadn't even spoken since then. If everything was normal and I was with Syn, then now would've been a great time to tell Sebastian to stay away, but that was no longer the case. So what did that mean now?

A knock at the door disrupted my rampant thought and I opened it, looking eyes with Sebastian. In contrast to me, he looked amazing. His sandy blonde hair was styled back on his head and his baby blue polo was tucked into his khakis. "Ms. Beverly," he said, pulling a red teddy bear from behind his back.

My eyes widened and I held back an awkward stare as I glanced between him and the large bear. "Mr. Kingston...wow." I accepted the gift and stepped aside for him to come in. I wanted to cry all over again as I remember the bears Syn had won for me on our date, but I sucked in a shaky breath and closed the door. "Umm, what are you doing here? Better yet-haha...how did you know I was here?"

"I was calling you for days and I got worried," he said as he sat on the chair in the room. "You know I'm a tech expert." He smiled. "It didn't take long to find you."

"You tracked my phone?" I set the bear on the table. "That's so creepy, Sebastian."

"I was worried you were dead, Queen. The last time I saw you, you were with that freak."

"Don't call him that," I snapped. His brows raised at my tone and I moved to run a hand through my hair when I felt the silk material of my bonnet. Fuck. How did I miss that? "I umm...just don't call him that, please. And if I was dead, why would you bring me a bear?"

"Just in case you were alive."

"Touching."

"I know," he said, his smile growing. When he noticed that I wasn't amused, he cleared his throat and glanced around the room. "I've been really worried about you."

"Why?"

"Well like I said, last time I saw you, you were kissing that-...Syn. I was wondering why until I read the notes sent to Vullons and I just have to say...I admire how dedicated you are to your work. I truly believed you had actually quit and I have to say that I'm excited to read-"

"I did quit."

"What?"

"When I gave you my resignation, I quit. It wasn't some elaborate plan to go undercover. I stopped writing the expose," I admitted, making his face slightly fall.

"But the kiss..."

"Was real," I said. "It was all real."

"He called you his girlfriend...at the auction. Was that real?"

"Yes."

"And you consented..."

"Sebastian, yes." I shrugged. "I fell in too deep, I guess."

"Yeah, you think so?!" He yelled. "What the hell were you thinking?! Do you know how dangerous he is? Do you not realize that if you had sex with him your soul could've been damned, Queen?! You almost ruined-"

"I guess I'm damned." I sighed.

"No." He shook his head. "Don't tell me..." I crossed my room, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in the small room. Maybe it was because I hadn't had company in days or because Sebastian was being pushy...but it felt like the walls were closing in on me. "You fucked him?!"

"Don't you think you're overstepping?" I asked. "That's none of your business, Sebastian."

"Why, Queen?" He stepped towards me. "Why the hell would you do that to yourself- to your body? What is wrong with you?"

"Chill out...please." I raised my hands to tell him to back up. "That whole thing is a myth."

"You think God is going to let a whore that fucks demons into Heaven-"

"Leave!" I snapped. "Now! That's not the first time you called me that, but it will be the last, Sebastian. Get the hell out of here! I've bitten my tongue because you were my boss, but you're nothing to me right now. Get the fuck out!"

"Queen, I didn't mean it like that," he said. "I'm just worried-"

"Just go. Don't call me again, ever."

He sighed, taking a drop breath as he looked down at me. "I'm going to go..."

"Good."

"And I'm going to speak to your mother."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Something is going on with you," he said. "I don't know if it's because that man has done something to you or because you're possessed...but something is wrong. This isn't you."

"Just leave," I said in a stern tone. "Do what you have to."

He scoffed and headed towards the door. His hand landed on the doorknob, but he turned back to me before leaving. "This is all coming from a place of love, Queen. You may not see it now...but it is. I love you and I'm here for you if you need me. I'm going to pray for you."

I let out a huff of laughter and grabbed the bear from the table. "You can take your prayers, and your stupid bears and shove them up your ass. How about that?" I shoved the bear into his chest and I watched what look like a tremor run through his arm to his hand as he fisted his hand. After taking a deep breath, he shook his head and left the room and I slammed the door behind him.

Fuck!

If there was one thing that men in Heaven had, it was the audacity. They said and did whatever they wanted and offered to pray with me as if it'd wash everything away. It was annoying and disgusting.

This wasn't even the first time I had seen Sebastian have an outburst such as this one. It was worse when we were together. Any boy that looked at me would earn me thirty minutes of screaming about how I dressed for male attention. It was stupid. He was stupid and he was never going to change.

"I like that drawing," James said as he pointed to one of the many drawings he had asked me to do for him. "It's my favorite." He picked up the black and white sketch of the shark and began doodling over it with his color pencils and I sighed. I spent a good ten minutes on that for it to become a canvas for his wild doodles.

"Look!" He raised the paper up after a few minutes of drawing. "I drew a leprechaun!"

My eyes scanned the drawing, seeing the shark I had originally sketched with a circular blob of green beside it. I looked again, thinking I missed something, but I didn't see a motherfucking leprechaun. "Where?"

"Here!" His small finger pointed to the green blob my mind had perceived as slime and I raised a brow.

"A what?"

"Leprechaun!"

"That doesn't look like a fucking leprechaun."

"Language!" Xavier yelled from the bed, making me roll my eyes. "That's an amazing leprechaun, James. The best one I've ever seen."

"Why are you lying to him?"

"Syn..."

"What?" I asked in confusion. "Does lying work for them?" Xavier sighed, rubbing his temples in frustration and I shook my head as I turned back to James. "That's the best goddamn leprechaun in the ocean I've ever seen in my life."

"Syn!"

"Xavier! Let me live!"

"You can't cuss in front of children," he said.

"Why the fuck not?"

"Why the fuck not?!" James repeated, a large grin on his face. I turned to him in shock and Xavier sighed.

"That's why, Syn. That. Is. Why."

"That was so cool," I whispered. "Can you say it again?" James repeated it over and over and I watched Xavier slowly fall into insanity. I didn't mind the bad words as he did, but it was always a good time messing with him. He annoyed me all the time. Payback felt good. "Good job." I held out my hand for a high-five and he excitedly hit it. I stood up from my chair and walked around the table to take his hand. "Now let's go say it to my mom."

"Why the fuck notttt!" He screamed.

"That's the spirit."

"Syn, you're going to give her a heart attack!" Xavier yelled as we left the room. James giggled at his tone as he tried to swing on my arm. When we made it to my mother, I had him repeat the line to her and her eyes almost bulged out of her head. It was the best reaction I had ever seen, but the plan backfired. She made us both sit down and listen to her lecture about proper language and etiquette.

I could have left, but it didn't feel right leaving him there alone when I was the one who got him into the mess. When she was done talking, James ran off to go to the park with Ethan, and I was left alone with my mother.

"Have you spoken to Queen?"

"Why do you continue to ask me that when you know that I always have the same answer?" I asked in frustration. "I haven't spoken to her, nor do I want to."

"Aren't you the least bit worried about her?" She asked. "I know that what she did was wrong, but it's been days and nobody has had contact with her. She could be in danger."

"I'm sure she's fine." I shrugged. "And if she isn't, she's no longer my concern."

She sighed, slightly shaking her head. "Okay, Syn."

"I have some work to do so I'll speak to you later." I walked out before she could give me some awkward goodbye and headed to my bedroom. When I walked in, Xavier was still watching some tv series and I sat at the table, pulling out my briefcase.

"Have you sent the contract to Kennedy?"

"Yup," he said. "You need to review the renovation plans he's created for you. He sent an email."

"Got it," I muttered, exhaling loudly as I put my glasses on.

"Have you heard from-"

"Nope," I answered, already knowing who he was going to ask about. Everyone kept asking about her when she was the last thing I wanted to talk about. Nobody was asking how I was doing. Maybe they thought I was feeling nothing. Did I even want them to ask? I was sure I wouldn't know what to say.

All I knew was that it hurt. I couldn't describe the pain...all that I could say was that it was there. Daily.

He turned down the television. "Do you want to talk about-"

"I do not." I rubbed the stubble on my jaw, trying my best to focus on my work. I was behind on everything. This wasn't me.

"You don't have to suffer alone, Syn."

"Can everyone calm down?!" I snapped. "You're all acting like you were the ones that were in..."

"In what?" He asked slowly, raising a brow.

"...in a relationship with her," I finished. "If I say I'm fine, let me be fine until I say I'm not."

"That's the thing. You'll never say you're not."

"Oh fucking well." I laid my head against the chair. "Talk about Cleo and Caspian or something."

"No."

"Seriously?"

"You don't deserve it," he muttered, turning up the television to an insanely loud volume to drown out my voice. His damn mood swings were insane. Who needed a relationship when he was here all day everyday to drive me insane?

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out to see Mario's contact. He was a member of my private security. His job was to scope out potential business partners and do background checks, but these days I had him doing something a lot more...personal. "Hey?" I spoke, glancing at Xavier who seemed to be lost in his own world. "Anything new?"

"Well, she ordered Chinese food instead of pizza this morning."

"Okay." I nodded slowly. "I guess that's good to hear. She's been eating too much pizza."

"According to the billing statements in the room, she's been having an overload of romantic comedies and tragedies."

"Ugh." I rolled my eyes. "Sounds like her. Any visitors?"

"There was one," he said.

"Who?"

"I'm going to send you a photo from the security footage in the hotel. He was in her room this morning from 11:34 to 11:38. There were reports of screaming from the room."

"Send me the picture of the man," I said as my jaw clenched. I didn't think she'd move on so fast. Last time we spoke, I acted like I didn't care who she was with after me...but it was a fucking lie. I was pissed at her that night. I wanted to convince myself that I wanted nothing to do with her. I thought that if she believed it and left, I could get over her...I was wrong as fuck.

Instead, every single thing I had told her replayed in my mind like a broken record. The hurt on her face, the tears streaming down her eyes...that was what I was reminded of whenever anyone mentioned her. I wanted to forget that night.

I wish I could've stayed mad at her for what she had done, but I was more upset that she truly left. It was insane, but it was the truth. I told her to leave, yet I was angry that she listened to me.

What did I expect her to do?

I didn't know, but I knew that I wanted her to stay with me. I wouldn't have been mad at her long...stupid right? It sounded that way when I repeated the entire situation in my mind, but a part of me still trusted her although I didn't understand everything. She was a terrible liar. She started smiling whenever she wasn't being honest yet that night in the treehouse, she was serious as can be.

I wonder what she would've said if I let her explain.

"I just sent it to you, boss," Mario said. I held the phone out, going to my messages with him. I clicked on the photo to enlarge it, and my blood boiled as I saw Sebastian. In the time stamp of him going into the room, he looked like a grinning freak. But in the one with him leaving the corridor of her room, he was pissed. Good.

I didn't know the reason yet, but him being unhappy was a good thing no matter what. Especially when it was after a conversation with my girl- well my...nope, my girl. I was an asshole, but I'd make it up to her.

"I want a full background check on Sebastian Kingston," I said to him. "Every single detail of his life, Mario."

"You got it, boss."

"Make sure to charge whatever bills she incurs to my card," I said. "And if she orders pizza again, intercept it. Get her wings or something. Too much cheese gives her stomach aches."

"Yes, sir." He laughed gruffly. "I'll handle that."

"Is everything okay?"

"In all my seven years of working for you, I don't think I've ever had to hack food orders because of a girl's digestive issues."

"And I never dreamed I'd make you do it." I sighed.

"Well, it beats dealing with dangerous Underworlders by a large margin so I don't mind," he said. "I'll keep you updated on everything."

"Thank you, Mario."