I opened the most recent box of baby clothes I had ordered and spilled them all over my bed. I looked around my room and smiled in satisfaction at the baby items scattered all over. I'd be lying if I said that seeing all of this didn't give me baby fever, but I was too tired to try for one.

Before Syn, I spent years trying to get pregnant and trying to move past failed pregnancies. I wasn't trying to go through any of that again. Anyways even if I wanted to, Lucifer wouldn't...or couldn't. He never truly clarified because it wasn't something we ever talked about.

"Gen."

I turned to the door to see Julius walk in and I shook my head. "What do you want?"

He looked around my room and frowned. "Are you pregnant? What's going on?"

It was my duty as his Queen to always let him know of any news in the kingdom but Syn asked me not to tell anyone, so I wouldn't.

"Just getting some things for one of the servant's babies," I lied.

"She's having a girl?" He asked as he pointed to all the pink items.

"Maybe, maybe not. A boy can wear pink too, Julius."

"Right," he said as he closed the door behind him. With a sigh, he came to my bed and sat on the edge of it.

"What's going on with you?" I asked. He shrugged and remained in his thought-filled state and I nudged him on the shoulder. "Then why are you here?"

"I wanted to tell you that Syn and Queen are going to have a dinner here. One week from today."

I frowned as they hadn't mentioned anything to me about it but I let it go. Maybe they just forgot. "Are you decorating it?"

"Who else would do it, Genesis?" He asked. "I'm the best there is." I wanted to tell him he wasn't. He just never let anyone else plan anything here to find out if they were good. His dominating personality when it came to design was lethal.

"I'm sure," I replied. "What's the dinner for?"

"They have news."

"Oh, that's nice," I said sweetly to hide the fact that I already knew this "supposed" news...Queen's pregnancy.

"Can I tell you something and you promise not to tell anyone?" He asked me, clasping his hands together as he stared off at the floor.

"Go ahead." I made sure not to promise to keep my mouth shut though, I didn't owe him any secrecy after all his bullshit.

"I'm tired of being ruling. I think a part of me knew that when I killed that Angel," he said.

"Why are you tired?"

"It is so much responsibility and I've been doing it for almost one thousand years," he spoke. "One kingdom after another, deaths upon deaths...I'm tired of it. It's repetitive. I want to go someplace far away from here, and never look back."

I frowned at the ache in my chest from his words and cleared my throat. I hated him with everything in me, but besides Lucifer and my son, he was the only family I had left. As much shit as he did, I'd gotten so used to waking up every day and despising him.

"Do you think you deserve that peace after everything you've done?"

"I've asked God for forgive-"

"Have you asked the people you hurt?" I looked down at him. "Because there are plenty of them in the palace. Matter of fact, I'm standing right in front of you."

"I-"

"What about your son?" I added. "Don't think I haven't noticed the way you ogle Xyla."

"What?"

I dropped the item of clothing in my hand and placed a hand on my hip. "You know, after Lilith told us about Xyla being with another SinClaire besides Felix...I did a lot of thinking. You and Xyla were always a lot closer than comfort. I pushed it aside as you being a sleazy bastard that likes to flirt, but I didn't think you'd be dirty enough to fuck your son's girlfriend."

He rubbed his temples and groaned as I remained unmoving. I wasn't going to mention it, but if he was truly thinking he was going to leave without addressing the shit he's put us through...he had another thing coming.

"She came on to me," he mumbled.

"Who gives a fu-"

"I love her."

"Unlove her!" I snapped. "This is so wrong, Julius. You say you want peace yet you plan on leaving here with all of these loose ends." He remained quiet as I ranted and I continued. "I know you say you want to leave, but you and I both know you don't want to be alone forever. I barely like you as is but if you want a chance for us all to at least be cordial, you need to end whatever the Hell is going on."

"I-"

The door opening made us both turn to it and I smiled as Jess walked in. She recently found out she was having a boy and we've been ecstatic. I had my baby phase with her months ago, but after a bunch of yelling, she made me stop buying her things. Apparently, I was being "over the top", which was ridiculous.

"Hey, am I interrupting?" She asked as she looked between us.

"Mm...no," Julius said as he stood up. "I was just leaving." He turned to me before leaving and looked me directly in the eyes. "We'll continue this discussion later, okay?"

"Sure."

He gracefully walked out of the room and Jess closed the door behind him. She turned back to me and looked at me with a sly grin. "Ooh, Julius? Have you finally left Lucifer for good?"

"Umm no," I said slowly as I folded a baby sock for some reason. I suppose I just needed something in my hand to distract me from buying more things. Lucifer's card was burning a hole in my pocket and it could only be cooled with expenses for our granddaughter.

Jess looked around the room and frowned. "I'm having a boy, Gen."

"This isn't for you," I teased. "It's for my grandbaby." I freaking loved saying that word. Lucifer hated it, but it made me excited. I would think about how I'd bake cookies for her, read her bedtime stories, dress her up like me...I bounced in my spot just thinking about it.

Jess crossed her arms and pouted. "Why didn't you do any of this for my baby?"

"I did and you asked me to stop, remember?" I asked. "If I remember correctly, your exact words were: 'stop buying me shit, Gen. It's getting annoying'."

"I remember," she muttered as she crawled on top of my bed.

"How's our baby boy doing?" I asked.

"He's fine. He just needs to hurry up and get out," she joked.

"Well, we have how long? Two months?"

"Nine weeks, to be precise."

"Syn and Queen's daughter is going to be here in less than a month. Those Nephilim children grow way too fast for me. She's barely going to get to enjoy her pregnancy," I ranted.

"I'm sure she'll be fine," Jess said in a dismissive tone as she stared down at her phone.

"Yeah, she will. Syn has been incredibly supportive of her and I'm so proud of him," I said with an excited squeal.

"You shouldn't be proud of him for doing something he's supposed to do," she said dryly.

What's her problem?

Maybe she was just having a bad day and wasn't feeling well, but recently she hadn't been as enthusiastic about things as I was. I found myself cheering alone and that was new for us. She didn't need to be happy about the things I was happy about, but I expected at least more than...that. Jess knew about the struggles Syn faced emotionally-she was his godmother. I would have thought she'd be a bit happy that he's growing.

"I mean yeah, I guess you're right," I said with a shrug. "But it's hard for him to understand things like relationships and love and stuff. So now that he-"

"Yeah, that's great," she interrupted as she typed on her phone.

She was being rude, but I let it slide. Maybe she was going through something and today just wasn't her day. "What's going on, Jess?" I asked softly as I moved onto the bed beside her.

She sighed and passed me her phone. Her messaging app was open on Nate's contact and I cringed. "Read it," she said.

April 16th
Me: Where the hell are you, Nate?! I haven't seen you in days and you missed our doctor's appointment.
3:52 p.m.

Me: Idk if you care or not, but we're having a boy.
3:53 p.m

Me: I don't feel well. Can you check on me?
5:16 p.m.

Me: I'm going to take a nap. If I don't reply, that's why.
5:39 p.m.

Me: Nevermind. I'm not tired.
5:43 p.m.

Me: At this point, I might as well just block you.
9:03 p.m.

Nate: I'm sorry, baby. I was busy.
10:26 p.m.

Me: For three weeks?! What were you doing?
10:26 p.m.

Nate: Finding a place for our family, Jess. I'm sorry I haven't been the best partner to you but I'm finally going to step up.
12:06 a.m.

"Oh, gross Jess. This is the same thing he said to you last time," I pointed out.

She shook her head and took her phone back. "No, it's not. It's different."

"Why don't you just leave him?" I asked. "This relationship isn't healthy an-"

"You are in no position to give me advice for a healthy relationship, Gen. You and Lucifer break up like three times a day," she said with a laugh. I rolled my eyes and sighed. She was right, but we still weren't the same. Whenever I talked about her and Nate she threw my relationship in my face. I was getting tired of it.

"Why do you do that?" I asked.

"Do what?"

"I just want to help and give you advice, but you always change the topic to Lucifer and me."

"Because it's strange," she started. "It's like that one expression... 'fix your house before you fix someone else's. And in this situation, your house is hit by a tornado...everyday, but you're trying to come to my house and clean it."

"You know what, Jess?" I said as I stood up from my spot on the bed. "Our relationship may not be the greatest, I can admit that. But he shows up. Whenever I need him, he's there, and even when I don't need him he's there. That's how it's supposed to be."

Jess scoffed and crossed her arms. "Yeah, well at least Nate isn't still in love with his ex." My heart broke at her words and I felt tears threaten to surface. Jess for the past weeks had been assuring me that he loves me. And after one falling out, she flips? Did she ever mean her words? When she noticed my hurt expression she stood up from the bed. "Gen I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

I plastered the smile I had mastered onto my face and waved her away with my hand. "It's all good." She opened her mouth to speak, but I immediately turned around. "Umm...I'm going to use the bathroom."

I quickly went into the restroom and shut it behind me as I leaned on the door. I let the tears free fall and my mind went to her words. I knew Lucifer loved me, but my nagging suspicion about his feelings for Lilith haunted me.

From outside the door, I heard a deep voice that I didn't feel like listening to right now. "Where's Genesis?" Lucifer asked. I heard his footsteps storm deeper into the room and I sighed.

"She's not here," Jess answered.

"Don't fuck with me, fairy," he growled. I wiped my tears quickly and walked back into the room before he went off on her. He looked up at me and I watched as worry passed his features. He glanced at Jess and looked at her in disgust.

"Leave," he snapped.

"We were busy before you just barged in," Jess argued.

"Just get the fuck out before I do something we'll both regret," he sneered.

Her eyes widened as she looked to me to help her out. I just averted her gaze and she scoffed. "Whatever. See you later, Gen."

She left the room and Lucifer walked toward me. "What is it?"

"I'm just not feeling well," I said truthfully. He didn't say anything as he wrapped his arms around me. I tried my best to hold back my tears and somehow succeeded. "You haven't been very happy recently, Gen. I can feel it."

"I am, I'm just a bit stressed out."

He pulled away from me and sighed. "Let me take you away."

"Where?" I asked.

"I don't know, but we've never been on a vacation before with just us. I'll take some time off of my work in Hell and we'll go."

"You'd do that for me?"

"Don't make this weird, Gen," he replied nervously.

"I'm not trying to. That's just really sweet for you to offer." I smiled. "But I can't, Queen and Syn are having a dinner in a week and Queen is going to have the baby soon. We can't just leave."

"I talked to Syn about it already, baby. He more than agrees, which is kind of worrying if you think about it, but still. We'd be back before Queen has the baby," he replied.

"I-"

"Say yes, Gen," he pleaded.

"What about Jess?" I asked.

"What about her?"

"I can't just leave her," I said with a frown.

"Baby, you need this. If she's truly your friend she'll support it." Hmm, I didn't know if she would. When I wanted to go with Cleo and Caspian to Earth she was pretty upset. I wasn't sure if this would be different, but Lucifer and I did need some time away. "Say yes," he said once again, sending me the devilish smile that seemed to make everyone fall for him.

"Yes."

He wrapped his arms around me and spun around, lifting me off the floor and I giggled loudly. This was different than his normal self and it was a bit scary but adorable. I'd give anything for him to act this way with me always. He set me down and gave me a small kiss on the lips. "You've just made me the luckiest man in the world."

"Babe, you're being a little bit dramatic. It's just a vacation," I reminded him.

"I know, I'm just practicing."