Syn

She looked at me for a long moment and her words slowly began to sort themselves out. She was desperate to die. And although desperation was a disgusting thing, I could understand. There were times I wish I were dead rather than spend another moment in this place. She was an old woman. I didn't know how long or why she was here but she had to have been stuck in this place five times longer than my own life span.

If death was what she wanted and her only condition was for me to wait until I was older- stronger...I couldn't see why I couldn't oblige. Besides, judging from the tiredness in her eyes I was sure she'd be dead long before I was out of here.

I gave her another single nod and she smiled before signaling for me to join Felix. I walked out of the room and the door quickly closed behind me, leaving me alone with my older brother...if I could even call him that. I hadn't seen him in a while.

Without saying a word to him, I walked down the hall in the direction of the stairwell and he rushed beside me. "Hello to you too, little brother."

"What do you want?"

"I can't say hello? You're my brother."

"Well, your version of brotherhood got me stuck in a shed with fireworks last time. I'm not interested."

"I've apologized to you," he said. "I didn't know my friends would do that."

"You didn't stop them when you did know though."

"Well, people think you're a weirdo. They wouldn't have hung out with me anymore if I freaked out."

Right.

"What did their opinions of you have to do with you lying to your father about what happened?"

"My dad would've killed me, Syn," he said lowly.

"Okay." I nodded, continuing my steady walk through the halls and avoiding the cracks in the marble tile on the floor.

"What? Lord knows you can handle it more than I can. You're my brother. You've been taking the beatings for me all this time, what does it matter now? You're used to it."

I could've easily reminded him that I was his brother too, but I would've been lying. He and I shared nothing. I used to think of him as maybe an acquaintance in this palace. The both of us were stuck here, but we weren't the same. He liked the privilege he received from his father and his status, I didn't even have a say in where I slept. I could try all day to explain this to him but there would be no use so all I said was:

"Okay..."

"It's not like you can feel-"

"I can still feel it, Felix. Don't be obtuse." I rolled my eyes.

"What would you have me do, Syn?" He asked. "Shouldn't at least one of us be happy? And maybe it should be the one of us who knows what that feels like." I ignored his statement and eyed a painting of Julius in the hall, cringing as I saw his and my mother's stone faces.

"I am getting older, brother," he said. "I may be married in a few years. What woman would find me attractive if I had scars all over my body? You don't plan on getting married-"

I completely stopped walking, making him halt his words and I turned to face him. "Are you listening to yourself? You're weak...and now you're talking about marriage. If I were you I'd be more worried about her thinking you're a coward than you having a few scars."

He sighed. "Okay, you're obviously trying to avoid understanding where I'm coming from."

"Well, you sound like you're coming from the loony bin."

"You'll just never understand."

"That's a possibility I'm fine with." I clasped my hands behind my back and continued forth, bypassing the dozens of servants cleaning empty bedrooms and dusting the lamps and paintings.

"You're a lot skinnier than I remember, Syn," I heard Felix say from behind me. "You should eat more."

Obviously. It had been almost two months since he had seen me and it wasn't like Julius provided me with gourmet meals. I was lucky if I got anything most days. My mother mainly was the one trying to sneak food to me. She apologized profusely every time she came to me, crying when she looked at my body, but what could she do?

Felix rambled on about how his father brought a trainer a few times a week so he could build muscle and I tried my hardest to tune him out. I didn't care.

I paid attention to the sound of my shoes hitting the floor, the commotion in the halls, and the birds outside if I listened hard enough...then I heard a laugh- a laugh I recognized more than anyone. My mother's.

"I wonder what's so funny?" Felix groaned. I wasn't surprised he heard it, he had a bad habit of listening to everything happening in the palace. But I didn't think he'd point it out. Maybe it was because I was here. "When's the last time you've seen mother?"

"Umm...maybe a few days ago..." I said unsurely. "I don't know, I'm sure she's been busy." I focused my listening on the sound, pinpointing where she was in the palace, and when I heard another voice- a deep one, I stopped walking.

Felix must've heard the same thing too because he stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me, crinkles on his forehead forming. "That's not my father's voice."

"I know," I said. I was curious as to who she might've been speaking with that was making her laugh so much, but I wasn't interested enough to walk there. Her room was far, and I was hungry. "Maybe it's a guest, we'll find out when she comes downstairs-"

"A guest in her bedroom?!" He exclaimed. With a fury, he strode past me in the direction of my mother's bedroom and I sighed. He could never just mind his own business. He'd go off, get himself into trouble, blame it on me and I'd suffer the consequences for the both of us. The way I saw it, I could either go downstairs alone and get in trouble if Felix did something dumb. Or I could follow him, get in trouble but have some clue as to who the strange man was.

After a brief second of thought, I followed behind Felix, shaking my head at his panicked silhouette rounding the corners to get to her room.

When he arrived at her door, I expected him to knock but he burst into the room and I sighed. He was impulsive and didn't think his next steps through. And for his stupidity, I always paid.

I walked briskly toward the door but when I heard Felix's yelling and surprised gasps, I walked a bit faster. When I walked into the bedroom I saw my mother adjusting the straps on her dress with a man in an unbuttoned black dress shirt leaning against the pillar beside her window. She seemed to be panicked, pleading with Felix to lower his voice while the dark-haired gentleman had a sly smile glued to his face.

His sights went off of Felix and my mother as I stepped further into the room, and onto me. For a brief moment, his smile seemed to falter but I could've imagined that as a second later it was back; although something in his eyes was different.

He leaned off of the pillar, leisurely stalking toward me until he was less than a few feet away. He slowly lowered himself to my level, his eyes carefully studying me and I crossed my arms. "Wow..." he whispered. His hand reached out to touch me and I took a step back, making him chuckle deeply before he outstretched it for a handshake. "I'm not sure if you remember who I am..."

"Luce-" my mother spoke up.

"What? I can't talk to him?" He asked, his eyes still planted on me. "Do you speak yet?"

"...I'm going to tell my father!" Felix screamed, looking between my mother and the man.

My mother sighed, running a hand through her hair. "At this point, go ahead."

Felix's face dropped at her words and he gave her a disgusted look before rushing out the door. Before fully leaving, he turned toward the man in front of me and said, "If you know better, you'll leave before my father gets here!"

"Your father knows who I am." He smiled, his eyes still on me strangely enough.

"Disgusting, just living in sin in my father's home. Syn, let's go!" He snapped.

"Go on without him," my mother spoke up. "We'll be down in a few minutes."

Felix looked at me, waiting for a reply from me but I couldn't move or speak for some reason. It felt like I was suffocating in the spot where I stood.

Seeing no response from me, he rolled his eyes and left, leaving me with my mother and the man who appeared to be her lover.

My mother rushed in front of me, next to the man, and pulled me into her arms. "I've been worried sick," she said with a breath of relief.

When she pulled away, I looked between them and raised a brow. "This is what worry looks like?"

My mother looked down at the ground in front of her in shame and the man snickered at my question. I wasn't always the greatest at reading a room, but he was horrible at it.

"I'm sorry, Syn," she said softly, a tear slipping down her cheek. "I wish I could explain things, but you won't understand until you're older. I hope you're okay. Let me look at you-"

She reached out to touch me but I took an abrupt step back and her eyes brimmed with tears. "Don't touch me. I don't like it."

"Sorry," she mumbled, lowering her hand.

"You should be a bit nicer to your mother..." the man said.

"Who are you to tell me that?"

A slow grin spread across his face and my mother ran her hands down her face. "Your father."

Lucifer...

It made sense.

I wasn't sure how I didn't connect it but in my defense, I didn't remember the last time I saw him. He was a stranger to me. In my solitude, I imagined the moment I'd meet him a million times. I dreamed he'd come, take me away from here and I could finally be somewhere where I felt like belonged.

But this wasn't a dream...

...And I could see clear as day that this man had no intention of taking me anywhere.

꧁꧂

Author's Notes
McScuse me mf?!

Hope y'all done mind my shorter notes today. Shawdy pulled an all nighter 😮‍💨 but I still wanna know what y'all thinkk 😗
✨Lmk your thoughts✨