Syn

"Tonight is a very important night for the King," Matilda said slowly as if my ears couldn't keep up if she was speaking like a normal person. I hated when people did that with me. "You need to be on your best behavior, Syn. I'd like for you to be able to stay out of that damn cell," she sneered, her wrinkly face crinkling up into one of disgust as she straightened my tie.

"I'm always on my best behavior," I reminded her. She smiled, raising a brow as if she didn't fully believe me.

"Sure you are," she said. She tugged on the cuffs of the disgusting baby blue button-up irritating my skin and tightened the "family" cuff link the men in the family were supposed to wear. It was a circular pendant with an engraving of the letter "S"; no doubt meaning SinClaire.

They could've been more creative if you asked me. But it hardly mattered. I didn't belong here. I would've rather been some nameless boy living in the alleys of Jeradua than carry this name- first and last. It was a bit repetitive, Syn then Sin...but Julius wanted to prove a point. At least that's what my mother told me. My true father relinquished the right to name me at birth, and my mother gave that "honor" to my stepfather. Dumb decision.

A name that wasn't so on the nose would've been a lot better, in my opinion.

"What's going on in that head of yours, Syn?" She asked. She stuck her long and lanky fingers into a jar of gel and held it out to my hair. Before she could touch me I grabbed her wrist and shook my head. Her eyes widened in shock, a strange look appearing in her eyes before she faked a laugh and sighed. "I need to fix your hair for dinner. I don't want your father to have a reason to get upset with either of us."

I let go of her arm and shook my head. "He's not my father."

She sighed. "He may have his problems, but that man is your father. He's been here with you for the past eight years."

"I did not ask him to."

"You didn't have to," she said.

"You know who my father is, Matilda."

"Well then, where is he?"

Her question gleamed over in my mind. I didn't have an answer for her. It had been so long since I'd seen him, I hardly knew what he looked like. My mother told me he asked about me often so I knew he was curious about me. Yet he never visited. No birthday gifts, no intervention when I was being confined to the four walls they liked to call my bedroom. It was a room with no bed...it quite literally denounced the very definition of what a bedroom was.

Julius said it built character. And for as long as I'd been living there one would think I had all the character in the world but no one seemed to think so. I was called boring by most children that visited the palace. I couldn't fathom why they would think that. I was rather interesting inside my own head.

"I have something for you," Matilda spoke up, snapping me out of my head. I looked up at her as she toggled with the tie around her apron, and after a few moments she pulled out a wooden statue...with wings. "Here."

I held out my hand and she placed the tiny wooden carved statue in my palm. The carving was poorly done, shavings from the wood still hung around the etchings and I was sure if I held it the wrong way I'd get a splinter. "Wow," I said plainly. "What is it?"

"I was in the market earlier this week in Juva," she began, a large toothy smile on her face. "And there was a man on the side of the road ranting scriptures like a madman. He was selling these little things- carving them himself with a knife...while on the street! Can you believe it?"

"Yes."

"Don't be rude," she said. "Anyway, I looked through them all, and my eyes landed on the one in his hands- this one. And it made me think of you. So I waited for him to complete it, and I bought it for you."

"I hope you didn't pay much," I said.

"Don't worry about what I paid for it," she told me. "I spare no expenses when it comes to your 'happiness'." She laughed after finishing her sentence and I glanced at her.

I knew enough about Matilda to know that she had just told me her version of a joke, I just didn't find it amusing in the slightest. I could appreciate a good joke. I wouldn't laugh- I couldn't, but I could acknowledge the fact that it happened and OTHER people found it humorous. I didn't know why she always did it when we were alone though, there was no use. We'd just suffer through a few long seconds of her embarrassment. I'd think she'd want to avoid that but I suppose discomfort didn't perturb her.

"Well, do you like it?" She asked me.

"Like what?"

"That." She pointed at the item in my hand.

"...what is this...that I'm supposed to like?" I questioned, staring at the miscellaneous item.

"It's Saint Catejan," she said. "He was known for blessing those with good luck and good fortune. The man I bought it from told me that this totem would protect and bless whomever I gifted it to."

"Ah..." I nodded. "The madman told you this?"

She rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips, preparing to chastise me for my bluntness. "Why can't you be more positive? You never know people's stories. In the worlds we live in, you never know who you may cross paths with. For all we know he could've been an angel and this is truly blessed."

I didn't argue back, hoping her ranting would come to an end as soon as possible. I preferred the company of Matilda to just about anyone else I knew, but I didn't want to be around her longer than absolutely necessary.

"Okay," I gave in. "If that is true, I'd like for you to have it for yourself. I have no use for blessings or luck."

"That's not how it works. It needs to be gifted-"

"Then I will gift it back to you..."

"Nope." She held a finger up, shaking her head. "I refuse to take it from you. It's your birthday and I got it for you. You don't have to like it, but I'd like for you to at least keep it," she said. "I don't know how long I'll be around, Syn. My life is not even a blip in the eternity you will live and I'd like for you to have something to remember me by."

"That is true, you will probably die soon..." I agreed, and her mouth dropped. "What? You said it yourself." I hadn't experienced the death of anyone close to me yet, but this was inevitable. "Why don't you have my mother change you? So you can stay with us—"

"You're thirty years too late." She smiled, taking a seat on the trunk in front of the bed. "If I could have done it before I met Julius..." she laughed bitterly. "...I would have jumped at the opportunity. But I'm afraid death is the only way to escape him." She looked off into the distance past me and I wondered what her ominous words meant. "It's a longer wait than I've anticipated, unfortunately."

"Hm..." I hummed, stuffing the small wooden trinket in my pocket before looking at her once again. "Would you like me to kill you then?"

Her eyes snapped back to me and she raised a thin brow before laughing softly. "And what would happen to you if I were to die by your hands?" I shrugged. "I wouldn't want you to ever experience what Julius might do," she said. "Besides, you're not even ten yet, I can't leave you just yet."

"Okay, I guess."

A knocking at the door made us both turn toward it and Matilda scurried to her feet. "Just a moment." She opened the door and Felix walked in. A crisp cream suit rested on him and he cleared his throat as he looked at me.

"We need to be downstairs in a few minutes. I was told to come...retrieve you," he said.

"Well," Matilda slapped her thigh and gestured toward the door. "Looks like it's time for you to go."

I nodded and Felix left the room. I followed behind him, heading toward the door, but before I could leave, Matilda stopped me and turned me to face her. She grabbed a comb from her apron, combing my hair from my face with a few strokes. When she was done, she smiled and knelt to my level.

"If you behave yourself, I'll sneak a small cake for you," she whispered.

I nodded and turned back to the door. I took a few steps forward, Felix eyeing me before Matilda called out my name. "Syn, wait a moment."

I turned my head to her. "Yes?"

"Come here," she said.

Stifling an eye roll, I made my way back to her and she looked me directly in the eye. "I don't want to die without seeing the great man you'll become," she began. "But when the time comes that you're no longer bound to this palace and I'm still alive...

...I'd like for you to free me."

꧁꧂

Author's Note
I-...free you😔🤚🏾

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