May 13, 2023

Iris

"What's going on?"

Of course.

I couldn't get away with anything with Cain. It's like he had sensors that went off in his head every time I was anything less than one hundred percent happy.

I pulled away from Xoe's hug and glanced at him behind me before shaking my head and averting my eyes. "Nothing, I'll be right back. I need to use the bathroom."

I gave them both a quick smile before excusing myself as subtly as I could. I kept my head down as I walked past Cain and I let out a breath of relief when I noticed he didn't follow behind me. He always made me feel better no matter what, but there were times when I needed to be alone to stew in my own emotions. And this was one of those times.

I slipped past everyone in the living room, careful not to trip over the kids crawling across the floor, and rushed into our bedroom. I closed the door gently and walked to the restroom, fanning my face and taking deep breaths to hold back my tears. I didn't need to mess up my makeup and make it so obvious that I had been crying. Especially since I'd be seeing Queen in a few minutes. Just like her brother, she read me like a book.

Tonight was about her and what happened, I felt selfish for even letting myself get so worked up when we were all here for her. I locked the door to the bathroom and sniffled as I walked toward the mirror.

"Deep breaths, Iris," I instructed my reflection. "You can cry later." The mantra worked for a few seconds. Until images of Cain with all the kids passed through my mind and a tear fell, followed by another...and then another one. Before I knew it, I was sobbing in my hands, silently cursing myself for being so weak.

Get it together.

After a few minutes, I washed my face and minimally did the makeup I had ruined in my moments of self-pity. My eyes were still puffy but I could explain that away with my tiredness. I hadn't slept a wink since yesterday morning. I was too worried about Queen.

With a sigh, I turned off the bathroom light and unlocked the door, stepping into my room. I stopped however when my eyes landed on Cain sitting at the foot of our bed and staring at the floor in front of him in thought. He rubbed his hands together, his eyes meeting mine as I closed the restroom door behind me, and I gave him a small smile.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey."

I crossed my arms, looking at the closed door before looking back at him in question. "Were you waiting for me?"

He nodded slowly, his eyes scanning my face and body. "Sit with me."

I walked over to him, preparing to sit beside him on the bed, but he firmly grabbed my hips and sat me on his lap. I held back a smile at his familiar gesture and he grabbed my arms, resting them on his shoulders before wrapping his arms around my waist.

"This can't be comfortable for you." I blushed, trying to somehow put most of my weight on my foot. Noticing what I was doing, he lifted my legs over his lap and rested his hand on my thigh.

"I'm comfortable, and I'm still going to be comfortable when you ask me again in thirty seconds," he said. I smiled at his words and shook my head. He was right, I could be annoying with asking him that, but I couldn't imagine how he could be. I wasn't exactly light, and I think I'd just want to die in my spot if his legs fell asleep or something.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"It's okay, baby." He kissed my head and I instantly relaxed into his hold. "So...I talked to Xoe, after you left us...I figured there had to be some reason why you were so upset."

"I'm not upset," I assured him.

"Okay, then sad," he shot back. "I'm sorry, truly."

"For what?"

"For looking so ruggedly handsome while doing something as mundane as carrying babies." He smiled brightly, making me roll my eyes and nudge his side. "What? From what I was told, it brought you to tears."

"You wish."

He gave me a smile that didn't fully reach his eyes before placing a kiss on my head and pulling me against his chest. I rested against him, listening to the beat of his steady heart before I felt him sigh. It wasn't like him to be this quiet. I looked up at him curiously to find him looking down at me seriously and I frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He smiled again, but I wasn't an idiot. Just how he claimed to know me, I knew him. I raised a brow, silently urging him to be honest and he bit his lip, his brows furrowing in thought as he seemingly looked for the words to say. "Okay," he started. "I did speak to Xoe..."

"Okay..."

"And she's your friend, she didn't want to get involved but I did push her to tell me what happened."

"Alright..."

"And, I can't help but blame myself-"

"Stop." I sat up.

"Please, give me a second," he said. My shoulders slumped in irritation as I knew where he was about to go and I averted my eyes from his penetrating gaze. With his finger, he guided my face back in his direction and his eyes pleaded with mine. "Please."

I didn't give him a response in return but made no more moves to go anywhere. "I'm cursed, baby," he said. "And I know you love me, but that doesn't mean you have to accept this part of the curse..."

"Cain-"

"You can have children," he said. "I'm the problem. I don't want to hold you back with this. Not when I know you'd be happier-"

"I'm happy now."

"For how long?" He asked me. My heart broke at the pain in his voice and I shook my head. "Listen," he began, "...I can take you having kids with another man, if you truly wanted. What I can't take is you being here with me and feeling less than because I can't give you what you want. I've come to terms with the fact that this curse will never allow me to have children of my own, but it doesn't need to be that way for you."

My gut sank at his suggestion just as it did the first he mentioned it. The truth was Cain and I did try for a while to get pregnant. He knew I wanted kids and although he didn't care much for them, he wanted me happy. After multiple failed conceptions and negative pregnancy tests, we finally visited a warlock...and he told us the bitter truth:

The curse placed on Cain began with him and ended with him. He was destined to be alone for the rest of his life. That meant having a soulmate that would never love him back; Mia...and not being able to reproduce and have children of his own.

I was the one variable that the curse placed on him didn't foresee, but that didn't make any other part of it obsolete.

"Say something," he said softly, his eyes pleading with mine.

Cain had told me multiple times he'd be okay with me having someone else's baby. He said he was happy to raise them with me as his own...but I could never do something like that to him. I knew that when it came to me he was selfless enough to not consider any of his own feelings when it came to this topic, but I loved him. If I couldn't have kids with him, I just wouldn't have them. That was it for me.

"Cain," I said. "I'm only going to say this one more time and after this, I never want to hear you give me that option again." I took his face into my hands and took a deep breath before continuing. "You are enough. I know there hasn't really been anyone to tell you that, but you are. You don't have to try to measure up to anything with me because you are absolutely everything to me. I signed up for an eternity with you, I don't need anyone or anything else.

"I have you and because of the way you love me, I could never feel less than. I was crying earlier for you, not for me. I see you with them and it hurts my heart knowing that you've had so much love to give all these years and no one to give it to. But you have me now, and I have you. We are enough, okay? If it forever remains just the two of us, that's more than enough."

He looked at me for a long moment, his eyes softening before he let out a shaky breath and smiled. "Oh fuck, I'm glad you feel that way. I didn't know how I was going to tell you I'd kill any other man you slept with."

I laughed and placed a kiss on his lips. "I love you."

"I love you." He smiled, giving me another kiss. This one slower than the last. My heart beat out of my chest as his lips lingered on mine and I squirmed in his lap, making a corner of his lip tilt up in a teasing smile. "Oh? While everyone is in the house?" He whispered, his hand slowly moving to the button of my jeans.

I giggled, pushing away his hand before standing up and pointing at him. "Stop, not right now. We need to check on your sister."

He rolled his eyes and waved his hand in dismissal. "Please, I'm sure my sister and Syn are doing much worse things than we are right now."

"Cain!"

"What? They can't keep their hands off each other, it's gross."

I placed my hands on my hips and raised my brows at him. "Oh, is it?"

"Disgusting." He shivered, as he stood up and walked toward me.

"I'm sure they can say the same things about us. Let's not act like you aren't obsessed. You can hardly keep your hands off of me either." I teased him.

"That's not true."

"Your hands are literally on my ass right now." A slow smile spread across his face as he noticed how right I was and I felt a sting of a smack on my behind. "Ow!"

"There was something there."

"You're literally facing me!" I snapped, making him chuckle. He placed his hands on my cheeks and kissed my lips before smiling and looking down at me.

"I love you."

"Who doesn't?"

He raised a brow. "Tell me who does."

"Ugh, it was a joke!" I shoved his chest. "I swear you'd get jealous if a ghost breathed in my direction."

"Maybe that's why they're dead. Just breathing on people's wives?" He shook his head, truly thinking about the scenario and I let out a huff of laughter. He was going to be the death of me.

"You're an idiot, and I'm going back out with everyone." I smiled, shaking my head as I walked to the door.

"Iris," Cain called out.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for saying...all of that," he said sincerely.

"You don't need to thank me, it was just the truth."

He nodded and I turned back to the door. "Iris," he called again.

I turned back to his direction once again, "Cain..."

"I- I'm not opposed to adopting...one day, if you really wanted to." He shrugged.

I smiled at him. "One day, but for now..."

"I'm enough."

"Always," I replied. I turned back to the door and twisted the knob when I heard my name once again.

"Iris."

"Cain, fuck. Can I leave?!"

"Damn!" He laughed. "I can't get a kiss?"

"Of course you can," I grumbled, walking back over to him. "But let's make it a habit to call me once and tell me everything, please?" He placed his hands on my hips, pulling me against him, and looked down at my lips.

He lowered his head, his soft lips meeting mine before he whispered, "I'll consider it."

Liar.

꧁꧂

Author's Note
F#ck a BreFF😮‍💨
Idk about Iris...but ima get mines.

✨Lmk your thoughts✨