May 11, 2023

Queen

I sat with him on the bed for hours, just listening. Once he started talking, he didn't stop. Everything was just flowing out of his mouth in a way I had never seen from him before. He was always so careful with his words and thought before he said most things, but as he told me everything...there was no break to think. He was telling me the complete truth and it shattered me to hear it.

I stayed silent as he told me about his nightmares. He didn't go into much detail about them but I knew they were horrible enough to make him never want to sleep again. He explained in depth how he and Stella met and how she introduced him to the drugs. Anger flowed through me again at the mention of their toxic relationship, but I calmed myself down and rested in the fact that she'd never be a problem again.

"And now." He sighed. "Here we are." We looked at each other for a moment and he rubbed his hands together, no doubt trying to ease his nerves. "You haven't said anything. You're only crying..."

"I didn't want to interrupt you," I admitted, wiping my face. That and I didn't know what to say after everything. I'd been wanting to know for weeks what was going on with him, but now that I knew, I couldn't do anything but sit here and look at this beautiful yet troubled man I was completely in love with.

"I see," he said, looking down at his hands. "Did I say too much?"

"Come here," I whispered, holding out my arms. I couldn't find the exact words I needed to say to him, but I hoped he'd just know. There was no turning back now and I was one hundred percent locked in and ready for anything. He leaned forward and I wrapped my arms around his head, pulling him against my chest. He let out a small laugh at the gesture and I kissed the top of his head. "Everything is going to be okay."

"Princess, I'm not a kid. I can handle the truth." He looked up at me. "If you need time-"

"I don't need any more time away from you, but I am lying about everything being okay," I said honestly. "I don't know the first thing about drugs or how...to help, or if you even want help! I didn't even ask..." I groaned. "So I have no idea what's going to happen. All I know is that I'm going to be with you and the rest...we'll just have to go through it."

"No." He sighed, pulling away. "I don't want to burden you with this. I got myself into this and-"

"If you tell me that you're going to get yourself out, I'm going to lose it," I warned him in an annoyed tone. He smiled at my reaction and I rolled my eyes. "Why is it so hard for you to just let me help you, Syn? You married me for fuck's sake and yet you can't put your pride aside long enough to turn to me for help. Asking for help doesn't make you weak."

He looked at me for a long moment before sighing. "Promise?"

"I promise. At least with me. I'm your girl, you know?"

"Okay." He nodded.

"Okay..."

He took a deep breath and looked into my eyes, finally giving in. "Help me," he said softly. "I'm not sure I can do this alone and I..."

"You what?"

"I need your assistance."

"Is that the best I'm going to get from you?"

"Take it or leave it."

"I'll take it!" He smiled at my quick words but there was a sadness still lingering behind his eyes as he looked at me. "What is it?"

"I don't know what to do," he admitted to me.

"Well." I thought. "First thing is to ask you what you want to do. I can't force you to stop taking them...you have to want to for yourself."

"I do," he answered sincerely. "Everything I need is right here. I can stop."

"You know it's not going to be easy, right?"

"I know," he said. "I can handle it."

I know.

"Well then." I hopped off of the bed and picked up the vial of pills still on the table. "First thing's first..." I handed him the pills and he grumbled a bit before standing and heading to the bathroom. I followed closely behind him, watching as he headed toward the toilet and popped the top of the bottle open. Within the same second, he poured the contents of it into the toilet and flushed them, leaving a proud swell in my chest as I looked up at him. "East enough, right?"

He shrugged. "I-I guess," he said, his brows furrowed as he looked down at the empty container. "There is more though..."

"What?" I asked. "Where?"

He winced, walking out of the restroom and I followed him into his closet. I watched from the door as he walked to where his suits were hanging and pushed them aside. I took slow steps toward him, not quite sure what I was expecting as he put in a PIN. When a green light went on, he stood up straight and looked down at me. "You still with me?"

"Always." I nodded.

He turned the handle, opening the small safe and my mouth dropped when I looked inside. There were what looked like hundreds, maybe thousands of the pills wrapped in clear packaged bags just sitting there and looking straight at us. "Oh, shit! Woah."

"You wanted me to let you in, Princess," he said. "This is the truth, and it's ugly...but here it is."

I gulped and nodded quickly before looking at him. "Okay, alright. Maybe we should go slow," I suggested. I knew his addiction was bad, but I didn't know it reached these lengths. "How much did you usually take? M-maybe we can decrease it over time so you don't hurt yourself."

He shook his head. "No." He grabbed as many of the bags as he could from the safe and strode out of the closet. I rushed behind him, not sure if this was the best idea and he walked into the restroom once again.

"Syn, are you sure you want to just go cold Turkey like this?" I asked. "The withdrawals are going to be horrible."

"I'll have withdrawals regardless," he said. "I'm an all-in type of man. You know this." He ripped open one bag, emptying it into the toilet before flushing and then repeating the process. I watched the determination in his features and I wondered how long it would last. I didn't know much about addictions, but I knew they were a bitch to get over.

When he was done, he walked back into the closet and I took a deep breath. I promised him that I'd be with him every step of the way. And this was just the beginning. I met him in the closet and held my hand out. He glanced at me, momentarily unsure of what I was doing until I gave him a small smile. "I'll help."

He nodded, and with that, he passed me the last of the bags in the safe before closing it and walking with me to the restroom. Together, we poured the last of the pills into the toilet and I took a step back, giving Syn the space to make the last step.

"Second thoughts?" I asked.

He sighed, shaking his head. "No." With that, he flushed the toilet and let out a long breath. "That's it."

"I'm proud of you," I admitted.

"For stopping something I should've never done in the first place?"

"Why are you so hard on yourself?" I asked, pulling his arm and bringing him closer to me. "This was a hard thing to do. It doesn't matter how it started, but the fact that you're taking huge steps to get better is one of the bravest things ever."

"Hmm." He looked down into my eyes and his hand caressed my cheek. "I don't know how you do it."

"Do what?"

"Manage to keep looking at me like that after everything," he said.

I smiled. "It's easy to do when someone looks as good as you do," I teased. He lowered his face to mine, placing a lingering kiss on my lips before wrapping his arms around my waist. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright." I raised a disbelieving brow and he rolled his eyes. "I promise. At this very second, I'm fine. The moment I'm no longer fine, you will be the first to know."

"Good."

"I am a bit worried though," he admitted.

"What about?"

"Staying here," he said. "The next few days are going to be hard and I don't want anyone to see me like that. Especially not Saint."

"Then let's leave."

"Just like that?"

"Why not?" I shrugged. "I want you as comfortable as possible. I can have my father watch Saint and I'll come every other day to check on him. Once you feel better, we can come home."

"And home is..."

"What?"

"Home is where to you?"

"Here," I said. "Wherever you and Saint are."

"So you'll come back?"

I took a deep breath and squinted my eyes, already knowing my answer yet wanting to dramatize the moment. "Yes," I finally said and he let out a charming grin. "Under one condition..."

"What condition?"

"No more breakups," I said. "I'm on my best behavior right now but I'm sure you're going to piss me off one day and I will try to leave." He scoffed. "But you need to come get me, always. Let me leave and you don't speak to me for a year again and I'll hurt you."

He laughed and I kept a straight face, completely serious. When he noticed my expression, he stopped laughing and raised his brows. "Are you serious?"

"So serious."

"What if...hear me out, okay?" He asked. "What if you just don't leave?"

"No." I shook my head. "Because you really have your moments, Syn and sometimes I need to get away from you before I go crazy."

"Go crazy," he said. "I can handle it."

He leaned in for another kiss and I smiled, but the moment was broken by the ringing of a phone. Coming from the counter. Inside of my jacket. "Is that my phone?" He asked.

"Umm...what...?" I rubbed the back of my neck. He walked toward my jacket and fished his phone from my pocket, a look of confusion creasing his features as he glanced at me. "I can explain."

He answered the phone call and held it against his ear. "Hades, it's almost six in the morning. What could you possibly be calling me for?"

I crossed my arms in confusion, looking at his expression of confusion as he listened to the call. "What? When?...What the hell are you talking about, I was with Queen at the palace all night. When would I have had time to do that shit?!" He snapped.

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair before pausing and looking at me. "Yes...she was with me all night as well, Hades. Neither of us have anything to do with this," he said slowly, his eyes on me as he watched me carefully.

My heart began to race as I thought about what the call could've been about, but my mind only went to one conclusion:

Stella.

I averted my eyes from Syn, distracting myself by twirling my hair between my fingers as I looked around the bathroom. "Just take care of it until I get there," I heard him say. I heard him set the phone down and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him lean back against the counter and cross his arms. "Queen..." he said in a calm voice. "Come here for a second."

"Hmm?" I looked at him briefly. "Umm no, I actually think I'm going to go to bed. I'm really tir-"

"Come here. Now."

Author's Note
IM COMING SYNNNN😩😩😩❤️🏃🏾‍♀️

So omgggg Syn finally told her and everything just feels right in the world😚 SIKE. Y'all know I'm not that chill. You love me tho🙄❤️💅‼️

So purr...y'all think Queen killed her fr...?
Do you think Syn knows?👀

Lmk your thoughts✨